Chapter 26

What About Casual Sex?

“Kids ‘hook up’ just to see how far they can go with each other and to see how many people they can have sex with.”—Penny.

“Boys speak openly about it. They brag about how they have a girlfriend but still have sex with many other girls.”—Edward.

MANY youths today boast of having casual sex with no emotional strings attached. Some even have acquaintances to whom they can turn for sex without the “complications” of a romance.

Don’t be surprised if you feel tempted by that prospect! (Jeremiah 17:9) Edward, quoted earlier, says: “Many girls have offered me sex, and resisting is the most difficult struggle I have as a Christian. It’s hard to say no!” What Bible principles should you keep in mind if you are invited to have casual sex?

Know Why Casual Sex Is Wrong

Fornication is so serious a sin that those who practice it “will not inherit God’s kingdom.” (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10) Of course, that’s true whether two people are “in love” or engaging in casual sex. To resist temptation in either situation, you must view the practice of fornication as Jehovah does.

“I firmly believe that Jehovah’s way is the best way to live.”—Karen, Canada.

“Remember that you are somebody’s son or daughter, a friend to many people, and part of a congregation. You would let all these people down if you gave in!”—Peter, Britain.

By adopting Jehovah’s view of fornication, you will be able to “hate what is bad,” even if it appeals to the flesh.—Psalm 97:10.

Suggested reading: Genesis 39:7-9. Notice Joseph’s brave stand against sexual temptation and what enabled him to resist.

Be Proud of Your Beliefs

It’s not unusual for youths to stand up proudly for a cause they believe in. Your privilege is to uphold God’s standards by your conduct. Don’t be ashamed of your view of premarital sex.

“Make it clear right from the start that you have moral principles.”—Allen, Germany.

“The boys I went to high school with knew who I was, and they knew that their attempts would be a waste of their breath.”—Vicky, United States.

Taking a stand for your beliefs is a sign that you are becoming a mature Christian.—1 Corinthians 14:20.

Suggested reading: Proverbs 27:11. See how your positive actions can move Jehovah’s heart!

Be Decisive!

Saying no is important. But some might misread your refusal as playing “hard to get.”

“Everything about you—including how you dress, how you talk, who you talk to, and how you relate to people—should convey your refusal.”—Joy, Nigeria.

“You need to make it clear that it is never going to happen. Never accept gifts from boys who are trying to get their way with you. They can use it against you, as if you owe them something in return.”—Lara, Britain.

Jehovah will help you if you show yourself to be decisive. Based on his personal experience, the psalmist David could say of Jehovah: “With someone loyal you will act in loyalty.”—Psalm 18:25.

Suggested reading: 2 Chronicles 16:9. Note that Jehovah is eager to help those who want to do what is right.

Use Foresight

The Bible states: “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself.” (Proverbs 22:3) How can you apply that to yourself? By using foresight!

“Separate yourself as much as possible from people who talk about such things.”—Naomi, Japan.

“Don’t give out personal information, such as your address or phone number.”—Diana, Britain.

Analyze your speech, conduct, and associations, as well as the places you frequent. Then ask yourself, ‘Am I unwittingly sending out signals that will make invitations to engage in sex more likely?’

Suggested reading: Genesis 34:1, 2. See how being in the wrong place had tragic consequences for a girl named Dinah.

Remember, casual sex is no casual matter to Jehovah God; neither should it be to you. By taking a stand for what’s right, you can preserve a clean conscience before God and maintain self-respect. As a girl named Carly puts it, “why let yourself be ‘used’ for someone else’s instant gratification? Take care of what you have worked so hard to maintain!”

IN OUR NEXT CHAPTER

What kind of girls do boys say they’re really attracted to? You might be surprised!

KEY SCRIPTURE

“Do your utmost to be found finally by [God] spotless and unblemished and in peace.”—2 Peter 3:14.

TIP

Work on your inner qualities. (1 Peter 3:3, 4) The better you are as a person, the better kind of person you’ll attract.

DID YOU KNOW . . . ?

Jehovah wants you to enjoy sex as he created it to be—a source of pleasure within marriage—without the worries, insecurities, and regrets that are so often by-products of fornication.

ACTION PLAN!

I can imitate Joseph’s resolve to remain morally clean if I ․․․․․

I will avoid the mistake Dinah made if I ․․․․․

What I would like to ask my parent(s) about this subject is ․․․․․

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

● Although illicit sex may appeal to the imperfect flesh, why is it wrong?

● What will you do if someone asks you to have sex?

[Blurb on page 185]

“Be strong! When a young man made a suggestive invitation to me, I said, ‘Get your hand off my shoulder!’ and I walked away with a stern look.”—Ellen

[Picture on page 187]

If you engage in casual sex, you cheapen yourself