Umtshado​—Isipho Esivela kuNkulunkulu Olothando

1, 2. (a) Ngezinye izikhathi, kuyini esingazibuza khona ngabantu abasanda kutshada njalo kungani singenza njalo? (b) Yiphi imibuzo esizaxoxa ngayo esahlukweni lesi?

UYAKUTHANDA yini ukuya emitshadweni? Abanengi bayakuthanda ngoba imitshado yandise ukuba ngethokozisayo. Ubona abatshadayo begqoke kuhle kakhulu. Okunye futhi yikuthi ubuso babo buyabe butshengisa ukuthi bayathokoza! Ngelanga leli, bayabe bethokoza kakhulu njalo ikusasa labo liyabe likhanya lilethemba.

² Lanxa kunjalo, kumele sivume ukuthi ezindaweni ezinengi abantu abasawuqakathekisi umtshado lamuhla. Lanxa sibafisela okuhle labo abasanda kutshada, kwezinye izikhathi singazibuza ukuthi: ‘Bazathokoza yini laba abatshadileyo? Uzahlala yini umtshado wabo? Izimpendulo zemibuzo le zeyeme ekuthini indoda lomfazi bayasithemba njalo bayasisebenzisa yini iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu esiphathelane lomtshado. (Bala iZaga 3:5, 6.) Kumele benze njalo ukuze bahlale besethandweni lukaNkulunkulu. Ake sibone indlela iBhayibhili eliphendula ngayo imibuzo le emine: Kuyini okungenza ukuthi umuntu atshade? Nxa ufuna ukutshada, ngumuntu onjani okumele ukhethe ukutshada laye? Ungawulungiselela njani umtshado? Kuyini okunganceda abatshadileyo ukuthi bahlale bethokoza?

 3. Kungani kuyibuwula ukutshada ngenxa yezizathu ezincane?

³ Abanye bakholwa ukuthi ukutshada yikho okuqakatheke kakhulu ukuze umuntu athokoze​—bathi ngeke usuthiseke kumbe uthokoze empilweni ngaphandle kokuthi uthole umuntu wokutshada laye. Lokho kakusilo qiniso! UJesu, indoda eyahlala ingatshadanga, wathi ukungatshadi yisipho njalo wakhuthaza labo abangenelisa ukuhlala bengatshadanga ukuthi bakutholele indawo ezimpilweni zabo. (UMathewu 19:11, 12) Umphostoli uPhawuli laye wakhuluma ngobuhle bokuhlala umuntu engatshadanga. (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:32-38) Kodwa bobabili uPhawuli loJesu kabazange bafake umthetho wokuthi umuntu kumele ahlale engatshadanga. Iqiniso yikuthi ‘ukwalela abantu ukuba bathathane’ kubalwa ‘njengezinye zezinto ezifundiswa ngamadimoni.’ (1 KuThimothi 4:1-3) Kodwa ukuhlala bengatshadanga kubanceda kakhulu labo abafuna ukukhonza uJehova bengaphanjaniswa yilutho. Ngakho-ke, kungaba yibuwula ukuthi umuntu atshade ngenxa yezizathu ezincane ezinjengokubona alingana labo betshada.

 4. Umtshado omuhle ubanjani yisisekelo esihle sokukhulisa abantwana?

⁴ Kodwa zikhona yini izizathu ezinhle zokuthi umuntu atshade? Zikhona. Umtshado lawo uyisipho esivela kuNkulunkulu wethu olothando. (Bala uGenesisi 2:18.) Ngakho ukutshada kulobuhle bakho njalo kungaletha izibusiso. Ngokwesibonelo, ukuze umtshado ube ngophumelelayo kumele ube lesisekelo esihle. Abantwana badinga ukukhuliswa ngabazali, bebapha uthando, bebalaya njalo bebaqondisa. (IHubo 127:3; Kwabase-Efesu 6:1-4) Kodwa ukuba labantwana ayisiso sodwa isizathu sokutshada.

5, 6. (a) NgokukaMtshumayeli 4:9-12, ubungane obuqinileyo bunceda ngani? (b) Umtshado ungaba njani njengentambo elemicu emithathu?

⁵ Cabanga ngombhalo osesihlokweni sesahluko lesi kanye lamanye amavesi aseduze kwevesi lelo. “Ababili bangcono kuloyedwa, ngoba balomvuzo obonakalayo ngomsebenzi wabo. Omunye angawa, umngane wakhe uyamncedisa amvuse. Kodwa maye lowomuntu owayo kungelamuntu ongamsiza amvuse! Njalo uma ababili belala ndawonye bazakhudumezana. Kanti umuntu angakhudumala kanjani eyedwa na? Loba umuntu engehlulwa nxa eyedwa, ababili bangazivikela. Intambo elemicu emithathu kayiqamuki lula.”​—UmTshumayeli 4:9-12.

⁶ Umbhalo lo ukhuluma kakhulu ngokuqakatheka kobungane. Umtshado ugoqela ubungane obuqinileyo kakhulu. Njengoba umbhalo utshengisa, ubungane obunjalo bunganceda, bududuze njalo buvikele. Umtshado uqina kakhulu nxa ungagoqeli abantu ababili kuphela. Njengoba ivesi leli lisitsho, intambo elemicu emibili ingaqamuka lula. Kodwa intambo elemicu emithathu ephothelwe ndawonye ayiqamuki lula. Nxa indoda lomfazi beqakathekisa ukuthokozisa uJehova, umtshado wabo uba njengentambo elemicu emithathu. UJehova uba yingxenye yesithathu yomtshado wabo, ngakho umtshado wabo uyaqina kakhulu.

7, 8. (a) Yisiphi iseluleko uPhawuli asibhalela amaKhristu angatshadanga alwa lesifiso sokuya emacansini? (b) IBhayibhili lisinika wuphi umbono oliqiniso ngomtshado?

⁷ Izinkanuko zemacansini kumele zisuthiswe kuphela phakathi kwabantu ababili abatshadileyo. Lapha yikho ukuhlangana emacansini okungaba yinto eqondileyo njalo ethokozisayo. (IZaga 5:18) Lanxa umuntu ongatshadanga esedlule esikhathini lapho izinkanuko zemacansini eziqalisa ukukhula khona, okutsho ukuthi nxa ‘esekhulile’ njengokutshiwo liBhayibhili, angabe elokhu esilwa lezifiso zokuya emacansini. Nxa isifiso lesi singalawulwanga, singenza umuntu acine eseziphatha kubi kwezemacansini. UPhawuli waphefumulelwa ukuthi abhalele abangatshadanga iseluleko lesi: “Uma bengeke bazithibe, kabende, ngoba ukwenda kungcono kulokutshiseka ngokufisa.”​—1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:9, 36; UJakhobe 1:15.

⁸ Loba yisiphi isizathu esenza ukuthi umuntu atshade, kuhle ukuthi abone iqiniso linjengoba linjalo. Njengoba uPhawuli atsho, labo abatshadayo “bazabona izinhlupho ezinengi kulokhukuphila.” (1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:28) Abantu abatshadileyo baba lezinhlupho ezingatholakaliyo ebantwini abangatshadanga. Kodwa nxa ungakhetha ukutshada, unganciphisa njani izinhlupho njalo wandise njani izibusiso? Enye indlela ongakwenza ngayo yikukhetha kuhle ozatshada laye.

9, 10. (a) UPhawuli wapha wuphi umzekeliso endabeni yokutshada lomuntu ongakholwayo? (b) Kuyini okwandise ukwenzakala nxa umuntu engekela ukulandela iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu sokungatshadi lomuntu ongakholwayo?

⁹ UPhawuli waphefumulelwa ukuba alobe isimiso esiqakathekileyo okumele sisetshenziswe nxa ukhetha umuntu wokutshada laye, wathi: “Lingazibopheli ndawonye labangakholwayo.” (2 KwabaseKhorinte 6:14) Umzekeliso awusebenzisayo wawuphathelane lezokulima. Nxa izinyamazana ezimbili ezingalinganiyo ngobude langamandla zingabotshelwa ndawonye, zombili zingathwala nzima. Ngendlela efananayo, nxa umuntu okholwayo engatshada longakholwayo bazaba lezinhlupho. Nxa omunye efuna ukuhlala esethandweni lukaJehova kodwa omunye engelandaba lalokho, izinto abaziqakathekisayo ekuphileni ziyabe zingahambelani, njalo kungaba lezinhlupho ezinengi. Lokhu yikho okwenza uPhawuli wakhuthaza amaKhristu ukuthi atshade kuphela “eNkosini.”​—1 KwabaseKhorinte 7:39.

¹⁰ Kwezinye izimo, amaKhristu angatshadanga acina ecabanga ukuthi ukutshada lomuntu ongakholwayo kungcono kulesizungu ayabe elaso engakatshadi. Abanye bakhetha ukungalandeli iseluleko seBhayibhili, njalo batshade lomuntu ongamkhonziyo uJehova. Izikhathi ezinengi, umpumela uyadanisa. Abantu abanjalo bazithola sebetshade lomuntu abangenelisi ukuxoxa laye ngezinto eziqakatheke kakhulu empilweni. Isizungu abangaba laso sikhulu kakhulu ukwedlula leso ababelaso bengakatshadi. Okuthokozisayo yikuthi kulamaKhristu angatshadanga ayizinkulungwane ezinengi athemba njalo alandela ngobuqotho iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu endabeni le. (Bala iHubo 32:8.) Lanxa befisa ukutshada ngelinye ilanga, bahlala bengatshadanga kuze kube yilapho bethola umuntu wokutshada laye kulabo abakhonza uJehova uNkulunkulu.

11. Kuyini okungakunceda ukuthi ukhethe kuhle umuntu wokutshada laye? (Bona lebhokisi elithi “Ngifuna Ukutshada Lomuntu Onjani?“)

¹¹ Kodwa akusiye wonke umuntu oyinceku kaJehova ongaba ngumuntu ofaneleyo wokutshada laye. Nxa ucabanga ngokutshada, dinga umuntu olobuntu obunjengobakho, imigomo engokomoya enjengeyakho kanye lothanda uNkulunkulu njengawe. Inceku ethembekileyo lehlakaniphileyo idinda amabhuku amanengi aphathelane lendaba le, njalo kuyikuhlakanipha ukuthi uthandaze futhi ucabange ngeseluleko leso esiseMbhalweni, usivumele ukuthi sikuqondise ekwenzeni izinqumo eziqakathekileyo.a​—Bala iHubo 119:105.

12. Yiliphi isiko elisemazweni amanengi elimayelana lomtshado, njalo yisibonelo siphi esiseBhayibhilini esingasinceda?

¹² Emazweni amanengi, kujayelekile ukuthi abazali bakhethele umntwana wabo umuntu wokutshada laye. Emasikweni lawo kuthiwa abazali balokuhlakanipha njalo balolwazi lokwenza lesosinqumo esiqakathekileyo. Kanengi imitshado le iyaphumelela, njengokwakusenzakala ngezikhathi zeBhayibhili. Isibonelo sokuthuma kuka-Abhrahama inceku yakhe ukuthi idingele u-Isaka umfazi sihle kubazali abafuna ukudingela abantwana babo abantu bokutshada labo. U-Abhrahama wayengelandaba ukuthi ngakibo kamfazi lo abazamdinga balemali kumbe izikhundla emphakathini yini loba hatshi. Kodwa wenza konke okwakusemandleni akhe ukuthi adingele u-Isaka umfazi ebantwini ababekhonza uJehova.b​—UGenesisi 24:3, 67.

13-15. (a) Isimiso esikuZaga 24:27 singalinceda njani ijaha elicabanga ngokutshada? (b) Owesifazana angakulungiselela njani ukutshada?

¹³ Nxa ucabanga ngokutshada, kumele uzibuze ukuthi, ‘Sengikulungele yini?’ Ukufuna ukuthandwa, ukuya emacansini, ukuba lomngane, kumbe ukuba labantwana akusikho okumele kukwenze ukuthi uthi usukulungele. Kodwa kulemigomo indoda loba umfazi okumele bacabange ngayo.

¹⁴ Ijaha eselifuna ukuthatha kumele licabangisise ngamazwi la, athi: “Qeda umsebenzi wakho waphandle ulungise lamasimu akho; kuthi-ke usuqedile wakhe indlu yakho.” (IZaga 24:27) Kutshoni lokhu? Ngesikhathi leso, kwakusithi nxa umuntu efuna ukutshada ukuze aqalise imuli yakhe, kwakumele azibuze ukuthi, ‘Sengikulungele yini ukunakekela lokusekela umfazi labantwana engingaba labo?’ Kwakumele aqale asebenze emasimini. Kuyafanana lalamuhla. Umuntu ofuna ukutshada kumele alungiselele umsebenzi oba khona nxa angatshada. Kuzamele asebenze nxa elokhu esaqinile. ILizwi likaNkulunkulu lithi umuntu onganakekeli imuli yakhe ezintweni ezidingayo lasekukhonzeni, mubi kakhulu kulongakholwayo!​—Bala u-1 Thimothi 5:8.

¹⁵ Owesifazana okhetha ukutshada laye uyabe evuma ukwenza imisebenzi eba khona nxa angatshada. IBhayibhili likhuluma kuhle ngamakhono kanye lobuntu okumele umfazi abe labo nxa encedisa umkakhe njalo enakekela lemuli yakhe. (IZaga 31:10-31) Amadoda labesifazana abagijimela ukutshada bengalungiselelanga ukwenza imisebenzi eyabe ikhona, bayabe bezifunela okwabo kuphela, njalo bayehluleka ukucabanga ngalokho abangakunika umuntu abafuna ukutshada laye. Kodwa okuqakatheke kakhulu yikuthi labo abafuna ukutshada kumele babe bekulungele ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibhili emtshadweni wabo.

16, 17. Labo abalungiselela ukutshada kumele bacabange ngaziphi izimiso eziseMibhalweni?

¹⁶ Ukulungiselela umtshado kugoqela ukucabangisisa ngezindima uNkulunkulu afuna indoda lowesifazana bazenze. Indoda kumele yazi ukuthi kutshoni ukuba yinhloko yemuli engamaKhristu. Indima le kayiyivumeli ukuba ibe nguntandokayiphikiswa. Kulokuthi ibe njalo, kumele ilingisele indlela uJesu asebenzisa ngayo ubunhloko. (Kwabase-Efesu 5:23) Ngokufananayo, owesifazana ongumKhristu kumele ayizwisise indima yenkosikazi. Uzimisele yini ukuzithoba ‘ebunhlokweni bendoda yakhe’? (1 KwabaseKhorinte 11:3) Ngoba uvele ungaphansi komthetho kaJehova lokaJesu. (KwabaseGalathiya 6:2) Ubunhloko bomkakhe endlini bumela omunye umthetho. Angasekela njalo azithobe yini nxa efakwe ngaphansi kobunhloko bomuntu olesono njengaye? Nxa engakufuni lokho, kungcono ukuthi angatshadi.

¹⁷ Okunye yikuthi, umuntu ngamunye kumele abe ngokulungeleyo ukukhathalela izidingo eziqakathekileyo zomunye wakhe. (Bala uFiliphi 2:4.) UPhawuli wabhala ukuthi: “Omunye lomunye wenu laye kathande umkakhe njengoba ezithanda, lomfazi kumele ahloniphe indoda yakhe.” Ephefumulelwe nguNkulunkulu, umphostoli uPhawuli wakubona ukuthi indoda kumele izizwe ihlonitshwa kakhulu ngumkayo. Lomfazi laye uyafuna ukuzizwa ethandwa ngumkakhe.​—Kwabase-Efesu 5:21-33.

18. Kungani kumele abathandanayo bazithibe ngesikhathi sokuthandana kwabo bengakatshadi?

¹⁸ Ngakho-ke isikhathi sokuthandana abantu bengakatshadi kayisiso sikhathi sokukholisa kuphela. Yisikhathi sokuthi indoda lowesifazana bafunde ukuthi bangaphathana njani, njalo babone ukuthi kungaba yikuhlakanipha yini ukuthi batshade. Isikhathi sokuthandana futhi siyisikhathi esihle sokuthi abathandanayo bafunde ukuzithiba! Isilingo sokutshengisana uthando ngendlela abantu asebetshadile abatshengisana ngayo singaba sikhulu kakhulu, ngoba iqiniso yikuthi kungokwemvelo ukuthi bakhangane ngaleyo ndlela. Kodwa labo abathandana ngeqiniso bazabalekela loba yiziphi izenzo ezingaphambanisa ubuhlobo babo loNkulunkulu. (1 KwabaseThesalonika 4:6) Ngakho nxa kuyikuthi uthandana lothile, zithibe; ubuntu lobo buzakunceda ukuphila kwakho konke kungelani lokuthi uzatshada loba hatshi.

19, 20. Umbono womKhristu ngomtshado wehlukene njani lowabanengi lamuhla emhlabeni? Nika umzekeliso.

¹⁹ Kumele abathandanayo babe lombono ofaneleyo ngokuzinikela ukuze benze umtshado wabo uhlale. Kumanoveli lakumafilimu, umtshado wandise ukuba lesiphetho esihle esifunwa ngabantu abanengi. Kodwa empilweni, umtshado kawusiso siphetho; uyisiqalo salokho uJehova akudalela ukuthi kuhlale. (UGenesisi 2:24) Okudanisayo yikuthi abantu abanengi lamuhla balombono okumafilimu lokumanoveli. Kwamanye amasiko, abantu babona ukutshada kufanana “lokubopha ifindo.” Bangabe bengakunanzeleli ukuthi umzekeliso lowo uchasisa kuhle kakhulu indlela abantu abanengi ababona ngayo umtshado. Kungani kunjalo? Lanxa ifindo kumele lihlale liqinile okwesikhathi esifunekayo, okunye okuqakathekileyo yikuthi libotshwe lula njalo lithukululeke lula.

²⁰ Abantu abanengi lamuhla babona ukutshada njengento yesikhatshana. Bayaphangisa ukutshada ngoba becabanga ukuthi lokhu kuzasuthisa izidingo zabo kodwa balindela ukuphuma kuwo nxa sebehlangana lezinhlupho. Kodwa khumbula umzekeliso wentambo osetshenziswa liBhayibhili ophathelane lomtshado. Intambo ezenzelwe imikhumbi ziqinile ukuze zihlale isikhathi eside, zingavuthuki lanxa kulesiphepho esilolaka kakhulu. Ngendlela efananayo, umtshado wenzelwe ukuthi uhlale. Khumbula ukuthi uJesu wathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu asekuhlanganisile akungehlukaniswa muntu.” (UMathewu 19:6) Nxa ungatshada, kumele ube lombono ofananayo ngomtshado. Ukuzinikela okunjalo kwenza umtshado ube nzima yini? Hatshi.

21. Indoda lenkosikazi yayo kumele babe lombono wuphi omuhle ngomunye lomunye njalo kuyini okungabanceda ukuthi benze njalo?

²¹ Indoda lomkayo kumele babe lombono ofaneleyo ngomunye lomunye. Nxa ngamunye wabo elwisa ukugxila ebuntwini lasemizamweni emihle yomunye, umtshado uzaba ngothokozisayo. Kulengqondo ukuthi ube lombono omuhle ngotshade laye ngoba laye ulesono njengawe. UJehova akalindeli ukuthi senze esingenelisi ukukwenza, kodwa siyathemba ukuthi uzaqhubeka elombono omuhle ngathi. Umhubi wabuza wathi: “Aluba wena, O Jehova, ububhala phansi zonke izono, ngubani ongema na?” (IHubo 130:3) Amadoda lamakhosikazi kumele babe lombono omuhle ngabatshade labo njalo kumele baxolelane.​—Bala uKholose 3:13.

22, 23. U-Abhrahama loSara baba njani yisibonelo esihle ebantwini abatshadileyo lamuhla?

²² Umtshado ungaba yisibusiso esihle nxa uqhubeka uqina umnyaka lomnyaka. IBhayibhili lisitshela ngomtshado ka-Abhrahama loSara sebegugile. Akutsho ukuthi umtshado wabo wawungelazinhlupho. Cabanga ukuthi kwakunjani ngoSara, umfazi owayengaba leminyaka engu-​60, ukuthi atshiye umuzi wakhe omuhle elizweni elinothileyo lase-Uri njalo ahlale emathenteni ukuphila kwakhe konke. Lanxa kunjalo, wazithoba ebunhlokweni bomkakhe. Engumsizi weqiniso ka-Abhrahama, wamcedisa ngenhlonipho ukuthi izinqumo zakhe ziphumelele. Ukuzithoba kwakhe kwakungokweqiniso. “Ngaphakathi kwakhe” wabiza umkakhe ngokuthi yinkosi yakhe. (UGenesisi 18:12, The Holy Bible in Ndebele; 1 UPhetro 3:6) Ukuhlonipha kwakhe u-Abhrahama kwakusuka enhliziyweni.

²³ Kodwa lokho akutsho ukuthi u-Abhrahama loSara babevumelana kukho konke. USara wake waveza umbono ‘owawumubi kakhulu’ ku-Abhrahama. Lanxa kunjalo, ngokuqondisa kukaJehova, u-Abhrahama wathobeka walalela ilizwi lomkakhe, elacina lenze ukuthi imuli yabo ibusiswe. (UGenesisi 21:9-13, The Holy Bible in Ndebele) Amadoda lamakhosikazi lamuhla, kugoqele lalabo asebeleminyaka betshadile, bangafunda okunengi esibonelweni sika-Abhrahama loSara.

24. Yimitshado enjani edumisa uJehova uNkulunkulu futhi kungani kunjalo?

²⁴ Ebandleni lobuKhristu, kulezinkulungwane ezinengi zabantu abatshadileyo abathokozayo, kulemitshado elamakhosikazi ahlonipha omkawo ngokujulileyo, amadoda athanda futhi ahlonipha omkawo njalo bonke basebenza ndawonye njengemuli besenza intando kaJehova ibe ngeqakatheke ukwedlula zonke izinto empilweni zabo. Nxa ungakhetha ukuthi utshade, sengathi ungakhetha kuhle umuntu ongatshada laye, lungiselela kuhle njalo usebenzele umtshado olokuthula njalo olothando, oletha udumo kuJehova uNkulunkulu. Nxa ungenza njalo, umtshado wakho uzakunceda ukuthi uhlale usethandweni lukaNkulunkulu.