Mu Gihe Umubano w’Ababiranye Uri mu Gusambuka

1, 2. Igihe umubano w’ababiranye ugeze habi, ni ikibazo nyabaki umuntu akwiye kwibaza?

MU 1988, umugore umwe w’Umutaliyano yitwa Rusiya yari atuntuye cane.a Haheze imyaka cumi yubatse, umubano wiwe warasambutse. Yari yaragerageje incuro nyinshi kugira ngo asubize hamwe n’umunega wiwe, mugabo vyari vyabaye ivy’ubusa. Yahavuye avana n’umunega wiwe kubera batashobokana hanyuma asigara ahanganye no kwirerana abakobwa babiri. Rusiya yibutse ivy’ico gihe, avuga ati: “Nari nzi neza yuko ata na kimwe coshoboye kurokora umubano wacu.”

² Nimba uriko uragira ingorane mu mubano wawe, urashobora gutahura ukuntu Rusiya yamerewe. Umubano wawe ushobora kuba udurumbanye, nawe ugashobora kuba uriko uribaza nimba uwo mubano ugishobora kurokoka. Nimba ari ukwo bimeze, uzosanga ari kirumara kurimbura iki kibazo: Woba warakurikije impanuro nziza zose Imana yatanze muri Bibiliya zifasha kugira ngo umubano w’ababiranye uroranirwe?—Zaburi 119:105.

3. Naho ukwahukana kwagwiriye, bivugwa ko abantu benshi bahukana hamwe n’imiryango yabo bavyakira gute?

³ Igihe imitsi yaranze hagati y’umugabo n’umugore, gusambura umubano wabo bishobora gusa n’aho ari co kintu coroshe kuruta cokorwa. Mugabo, naho mu bihugu vyinshi habaye iyongerekana ribabaje ry’ingo zisambuka, ubushakashatsi buherutse kugirwa bwerekana yuko igitigiri kinini c’abagabo n’abagore bahukana bicuza igituma basambuye izabo. Benshi muri abo usanga bagira ingorane nyinshi z’amagara, izo ku mubiri no mu bwenge, kuruta izo abaguma bubatse bagira. Ukuvurungana n’ukubura agahimbare kw’abana b’abahukanye kenshi kuramara imyaka n’imyaka. Abavyeyi n’abagenzi b’urwo rugo rusambutse na bo nyene barababara. Vyongeye twovuga iki ku vyerekeye ukuntu Imana ibona ivyo bintu, yo yatanguje umubano w’ababiranye?

4. Ingorane zo mu mubano w’ababiranye zikwiye gutunganywa gute?

⁴ Nk’uko twabibonye mu bigabane vy’imbere y’iki, Imana yari ifise umugambi w’uko umubano w’ababiranye wamaho ibihe vyose. (Itanguriro 2:24) None ni kuki imibano y’ababiranye myinshi cane isambuka? Ntibishobora gushika bukwi na bukwi. Akenshi habanza kubaho ibimenyetso bivyerekana. Utugorane dutoduto turashobora gukura buhorobuhoro mu mubano w’ababiranye gushika aho dusa n’utudashobora kwihanganirwa. Mugabo mu gihe utwo tugorane dutorewe umuti bidatevye bifashishije Bibiliya, imibano myinshi ntiyosambuka.

NUBONE IBINTU NK’UKO BIRI

5. Ni ibintu nyabaki bibaho umubano uwo ari wo wose ukwiye guhangana na vyo?

⁵ Ikintu usanga rimwe na rimwe kizana ingorane ni uko umwe mu bubakanye canke bompi bashobora kwitega ibintu bidashoboka. Inkuru zivuga ivy’urukundo, ibinyamakuru abantu birukira, amaporogarama aca kuri televiziyo hamwe n’amasenema, birashobora gutuma haba ivyizigiro n’indoto ataho bihuriye n’ibintu vy’ukuri biba mu buzima. Igihe izo ndoto zitarangutse, umuntu arashobora kwumva ishavu, akumva adahera akanyota, mbere akumva yiraburaniwe. Ariko none, abantu babiri b’abanyagasembwa bashobora gute kuronka agahimbare mu mubano wabo? Gushikira ukuroranirwa muri ivyo bisaba akigoro.

6. (a) Ni ukubona ibintu ukuhe kuri ku burimbane Bibiliya idufasha kugira ku vyerekeye umubano w’ababiranye? (b) Ni imvo zimwezimwe izihe zituma haba ukutumvikana mu mubano w’ababiranye?

⁶ Bibiliya ni kirumara. Iremera icese ko umubano w’ababiranye utera umunezero, mugabo kandi iratugabisha yuko ababirana “bazogira amagorwa mu mubiri.” (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:28) Nk’uko twamaze kubibona, umugabo n’umugore ni abanyagasembwa bisubiye bahengamiye ku gukora icaha. Ivyiyumviro n’akanyengetera vy’umugabo n’umugore hamwe n’uko barezwe biratandukanye. Rimwe na rimwe abubakanye ntibumvikana ku vyerekeye amahera, abana bovyara, no ku bijanye n’abo mu miryango yabo. Igihe bataronka umwanya uhagije wo gukorera ibintu hamwe tutibagiye n’ingorane zijanye n’ukumarana inambu y’umubiri, birashobora na vyo nyene kuba isoko ry’amatati.b Gutunganya mwene ivyo bibazo bifata igihe, mugabo ntuvunike umutima! Abubakanye benshi barashoboye guhangana na mwene izo ngorane hanyuma barashika ku kwumvikana.

NIMUYAGE IVYO MUDAHURIZAKO

7, 8. Nimba hagati y’abubakanye habayeho ibintu bibababaza canke ukudatahurana, ni uburyo nyabaki buhuye n’Ivyanditswe bwo kubitunganya?

⁷ Benshi basanga bigoye kuguma batekanye igihe baganira ku bintu vyabababaje, ku kudatahurana canke ku bugoyagoye umuntu yifitiye. Aho kuvuga gusa ngo: “Umenga ntiwantahuye,” umwe mu bubakanye ashobora guca aja hejuru hanyuma agatuma iyo ngorane ikomera. Benshi bavuga, ngo “Wiyumvira ivyawe gusa,” canke ngo “Wewe ntunkunda.” Mu kwanka kuvyura induru, uwundi arashobora kureka kwishura.

⁸ Ingendo nziza kuruta umuntu yokurikirana ni ugushira ku mutima impanuro ya Bibiliya igira iti: “Ni mwaraka ntibibakoreshe icaha: izuba ntirirenge mukiratse.” (Abanyefeso 4:26) Igihe umugore n’umugabo bahimbawe bahimbaza umwaka ugira 60 bari bamaze babiranye, barabajijwe akabanga katumye umubano wabo uroranirwa. Umugabo yavuze ati: “Twarize kutaja kuryama tudatunganije ivyo tutumwikanako, naho vyaba ari bitoyi gute.”

9. (a) Ni igiki kivugwa mu Vyanditswe ko gihambaye mu vyo guseruriranira akari ku mutima? (b) Abubatse kenshi bakeneye kugira iki, naho nyene ivyo bisaba ukurinduka n’ukwicisha bugufi?

⁹ Igihe hari ico umugabo n’umugore batumvikanako, umwe wese birakenewe ko ‘yihutira kwumva, agateba kuvuga, agateba no kuraka.’ (Yakobo 1:19) Umwe amaze kwumviriza uwundi yitonze, boshobora kubona ko bikenewe gusaba ikigongwe bompi. (Yakobo 5:16) Kuvuga ata buryarya ngo: “Mbabarira kuba nakubabaje,” bisaba ukwicisha bugufi n’ukurinduka. Mugabo gutunganya ivyo badahuzako muri ubwo buryo bizoba kirumara mu gufasha abubatse atari gutorera umuti ingorane zabo gusa, mugabo kandi no gutsimbataza igishika n’ubugenzi somambike bizotuma umwe wese agira umunezero mwinshi wo kuba kumwe na mugenziwe.

NUHE UWO MWUBAKANYE IVYO AKWIRIYE

10. Ni ukwirinda ukuhe Paulo yahanuye Abakirisu b’Abanyakorinto ko bogira kwoshobora gufasha Umukirisu muri iki gihe?

¹⁰ Igihe intumwa Paulo yandikira Abanyakorinto, yabahanuye kwubaka izabo ‘ku bwo kwirinda gusambana.’ (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:2) Isi yo muri iki gihe ni mbi cokimwe n’i Korinto ha kera, canke mbere iranaharusha. Ibintu vy’ubushegabo abantu b’isi bayaga icese, ukwambara ntibikwize hamwe n’inkuru zivuga ivy’igitsina zerekanwa mu binyamakuru no mu bitabu vy’isi, kuri televiziyo no mu masenema, ivyo vyose hamwe biravyura inambu y’umubiri. Intumwa Paulo yabwiye Abanyakorinto baba muri mwene ivyo bintu ati: “Kwābīrana [n]i kwiza, kuruta gushuha.”​—1 Ab’i Korinto 7:9.

11, 12. (a) Ni igiki umugabo n’umugore bategerezwa guhana, kandi bakwiye kugihana bafise akahe gatima? (b) Ibintu bikwiye gutunganywa gute nimba ivyo umugore n’umugabo bakwiye guhana bitegerezwa guhagarikwa umwanya muto?

¹¹ Ni co gituma Bibiliya itegeka Abakirisu bubatse iti: “Umugabo ahe umugore wiwe ivy’akwiye, kand’umugore na we abigenze artyo ku mugabo wiwe.” (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:3) Urabona yuko ashimika ku gutanga, adashimika ku gusaba. Ubucuti bwa somambike mu mubano w’ababiranye, vy’ukuri buratera akanyamuneza mu gihe gusa umwe wese mu bubakanye yitwararika ineza y’uwundi. Nk’akarorero, Bibiliya itegeka abagabo kubana n’abagore babo “nk’abazi ibibereye.” (1 Petero 3:7) Ivyo ni ko biri canecane ku gutanga no ku guhabwa ivyo ku buriri bw’ababiranye. Nimba umugore adafatanywe ikibabarwe, ashobora gusanga bigoye kunezerererwa ico kintu mu mubano.

¹² Hariho ibihe abubatse bashobora kwimana ivyo umwe wese akwiye mu mubano w’ababiranye. Ivyo vyoshobora kumera gutyo igihe umugore ari mu bihe bimwebimwe vy’ukwezi canke mu gihe yumva arushe. (Gereranya n’⁠Abalewi 18:19.) Bishobora kumera gutyo kandi igihe umugabo afise ingorane ikomeye ku kazi kandi akumva yavunitse umutima. Ibihe mwene ivyo vy’ukureka igihe gito guha uwo mwubakanye ivyo akwiye biratunganywa neza kuruta mu gihe abubatse bompi baganira uko ibintu vyifashe badakikiriza, maze bakemeranya biciye ku “[g]usezeran[a].” (1 Ab’i Korinto 7:5) Ivyo bizotuma umwe wese mu bubakanye adashika ku vyiyumviro bitari vyo. Ariko rero, mu gihe umugore yimye umugabo wiwe n’ibigirankana canke mu gihe umugabo aretse n’ibigirankana guha umugore wiwe ivyo akwiye mu buryo buranga urukundo, uwo wundi ashobora gushikirwa n’inyosha mbi. Mu bihe mwene ivyo, ingorane zirashobora kuvyuka mu mubano w’ababiranye.

13. Abakirisu bashobora gute kwihatira kugumana ivyiyumviro bidahumanye?

¹³ Cokimwe n’Abakirisu bose, abasavyi b’Imana bubakanye bategerezwa kwirinda amashusho yerekana ivy’ubusambanyi, ayashobora gukwega ivyipfuzo bihumanye kandi vyononekaye. (Ab’i Kolosayi 3:5) Bategerezwa kandi kurinda ivyiyumviro n’ibikorwa vyabo igihe bakorana n’abantu bose badasangiye igitsina. Yezu yagabishije ati: “Umuntu wese arāba umugore akamwifuza, aba amaze gusambana na we mu mutima wiwe.” (Matayo 5:28) Mu gukurikiza impanuro Bibiliya itanga zerekeye igitsina, abubakanye bakwiye kuba bashoboye kwirinda kugwa mu nyosha mbi no kurenga ibigo. Barashobora kubandanya kwinovora ubucuti burangwa umunezero mu mubano w’ababiranye aho usanga ivy’uguhuza igitsina ari ingabirano y’agaciro iva ku watanguje umubano w’ababiranye, ari we Yehova.​—Imigani 5:15-19.

IMPAMVU BIBILIYA ITANGA YO KWAHUKANA

14. Ni ibintu nyabaki bibabaje rimwe na rimwe bishika? Kubera iki?

¹⁴ Igishimishije, mu mibano y’ababiranye myinshi y’Abakirisu, ingorane izo ari zo zose zivyuka zirashobora gutorerwa umuti. Ariko rero, hari igihe ivyo bidashoboka. Kubera yuko abantu ari abanyagasembwa kandi bakaba baba mw’isi nyecaha itegekwa na Shetani, imibano y’ababiranye imwimwe irashika aho yosambuka. (1 Yohana 5:19) Abakirisu bakwiye gutunganya gute ibintu mwene ivyo bigoye?

15. (a) Ni iyihe mpamvu rudende yo mu Vyanditswe yemerera umuntu kwahukana akagira n’uburenganzira bwo gusubira kwabira canke kwabirwa? (b) Ni kuki bamwebamwe bahisemwo kutahukana n’abo bubakanye bahemutse?

¹⁵ Nk’uko vyavuzwe mu Kigabane ca 2 c’iki gitabu, ubusambanyi ni yo mpamvu yonyene yo mu Vyanditswe yemerera umuntu kwahukana akagira uburenganzira bwo gusubira kwabira canke kwabirwa.c (Matayo 19:9) Nimba ufise icemeza gitomoye c’uko uwo mwubakanye yahemutse, aho rero uca uhangana n’ugufata ingingo itoroshe. Mbega muzobandanya kubana canke uzokwahukana? Nta mategeko ariho. Abakirisu bamwebamwe baragiriye ikigongwe baraherezako uwo bubakanye yigaye vy’ukuri, hanyuma uwo mubano urakingirwa, uraheza uragenda neza. Abandi bafashe ingingo yo kutahukana ku bw’ineza y’abana.

16. (a) Ni ibintu bimwebimwe ibihe vyatumye bamwe bahukana n’abo bubakanye baguye mu caha? (b) Igihe umwe mu bubakanye ataco yiyagiriza afashe ingingo yo kwahukana canke yo kutahukana, ni kubera iki ata muntu n’umwe akwiye kunebagura iyo ngingo yifatiye?

¹⁶ Ku rundi ruhande, ico caha cakozwe gishobora kuba cavuyemwo ugusama inda canke kwandura indwara ifatira mu bihimba vy’irondoka. Canke kumbure abana barakeneye gukingirwa umuvyeyi w’umushurashuzi. Biragaragara ko hariho vyinshi vyo kurimbura imbere yo gufata ingingo. Ariko rero, nimba wamenye ko uwo mwubakanye yaguhemukiye maze mugasubira kurangura amabanga y’abubatse, ico gihe uba ugaragaje yuko wamugiriye ikigongwe kandi ko wipfuza kubandanya kubana na we. Impamvu zo kwahukana ukagira uburenganzira bwo mu Vyanditswe bwo gushobora gusubira kwabira canke kwabirwa ntiziba zikiriho. Nta muntu n’umwe akwiye kukuja mu gutwi no kugerageza kwosha ingingo wofata, eka mbere nta muntu n’umwe akwiye kunebagura ingingo wafashe. Uzotegerezwa kwemera ingaruka z’ingingo wifatiye. “Umuntu wese azokwiyikorerera uwiwe mutwaro.”​—Ab’i Galatiya 6:5.

IMPAMVU Z’UGUTANDUKANA

17. Nimba ata busambanyi bwahabaye, ni uturimbi nyabaki Ivyanditswe bishingira ugutandukana canke ukwahukana?

¹⁷ Hoba hariho ibintu bishobora gushigikira ugutandukana canke kumbure ukwahukana n’uwo mwubakanye naho nyene atoba yasambanye? Birahari, mugabo muri mwene ico gihe, Umukirisu ntarekuriwe kurondera kuresha uwundi muntu mu ntumbero yo gusubira kwabira canke kwabirwa. (Matayo 5:32) Naho Bibiliya yemera ugutandukana mwene ukwo, iratomora yuko uwo agiye akwiye ‘kutaja kwabirwa ahandi, canke na ho yisubize hamwe n’umugabo wiwe.’ (1 Abakorenti 7:11, UB) Ni ibintu bimwebimwe ibihe birenze urugero bishobora gutuma bisa n’uko vyoba vyiza habaye ugutandukana?

18, 19. Ni ibihe bimwebimwe ibihe usanga birenze urugero ku buryo bishobora gutuma umwe mu bubakanye arimbura ivyo gutandukana canke kwahukana mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko, naho nyene adashobora gusubira kwabirwa canke kwabira?

¹⁸ Urabona, urugo rushobora gukena kubera ubunebwe bukabije n’ingeso mbi z’umugabo.d Ashobora gukinisha akamari amahera y’urugo yose canke akayakoresha mu biyayuramutwe canke mu nzoga. Bibiliya ivuga iti: “Umuntu n’atātunga . . . abiwe, azoba yihakanye ukwizera, kand’azoba abaye hanyuma y’ūtizera.” (1 Timoteyo 5:8) Nimba umugabo mwene uwo yanse guhindura ingendo yiwe, kumbure agafata n’amahera umugore wiwe yironderera akayajana muri za ngeso ziwe mbi, uwo mugore ashobora guhitamwo gutandukana na we mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko kugira ngo yikingire yongere akingire n’abana biwe.

¹⁹ Ikintu gihuye n’amategeko mwene ico kirashobora kandi kugirwa iyo umwe mu bubatse akarira mugenziwe birenze urugero, kumbure akama amukubita ku buryo amagara mbere n’ubuzima bwiwe vyoba bigeramiwe. Vyongeye, iyo umwe mu bubatse agerageza kwama ahata uwo bubakanye ngo arenge amabwirizwa y’Imana mu buryo bunaka, uwo muri bo ahanamiwe ashobora kandi kurimbura ivyo gutandukana na we, canecane mu gihe bishitse aho usanga ubuzima bwo mu vy’impwemu bugeramiwe. Uwo ageramiwe ashobora kubona yuko uburyo bwonyene bwo “kwumvira Imana kuyirutisha abantu” ari ugutandukana na we mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko—Ivyakozwe 5:29.

20. (a) Mu gihe urugo rusambutse, abagenzi bahumuye n’abakurambere bashobora gukora iki, kandi ni igiki badakwiye gukora? (b) Abubakanye ntibakwiye gukoresha ivyo Bibiliya ivuga ku gutandukana no ku kwahukana kugira ngo kibe icitwazo co kugira iki?

²⁰ Mu bihe vyose vy’ubukazi burenze urugero bw’umwe mu bubakanye, nta muntu n’umwe akwiye guhata uwo mu bubatse adafise ico yiyagiriza ngo atandukane canke ngo agumane na mugenziwe. Naho abagenzi bahumuye n’abakurambere bashobora gutanga imfashanyo n’impanuro bishingiye kuri Bibiliya, ntibashobora kumenya utuntu twose tw’ido n’ido tw’ibiriko biraba hagati y’umugabo n’umugore. Yehova wenyene ni we ashobora kubibona. Birumvikana, umugore w’Umukirisu ntiyoba ariko aratera iteka indinganizo Imana yashizeho y’umubano w’ababiranye, mu gihe yoba akoresheje imvo zidafashe kugira ngo ave mu mubano w’ababiranye. Mugabo nimba abandanya kugeramirwa bimwe bikabije, nta muntu n’umwe akwiye kumunebagura mu gihe ahisemwo gutandukana n’umugabo wiwe. Twovuga nk’ivyo nyene no ku vyerekeye umugabo w’Umukirisu ashaka gutandukana n’umugore wiwe. “Twese tuzohagarara imbere y’intebe y’imanza y’Imana.”​—Abaroma 14:10.

UBURYO UMUBANO WARI WASAMBUTSE WAROKOTSE

21. Ni ikintu ikihe cabaye cerekana yuko impanuro za Bibiliya zerekeye umubano w’ababiranye ari ngirakamaro?

²¹ Rusiya twavuze mu ntango, haheze amezi atatu avanye n’umugabo wiwe yarahuye n’Ivyabona vya Yehova hanyuma atangura kwigana na bo Bibiliya. Rusiya asigura ati: “Naratangaye cane kubona Bibiliya itanga umuti ngirakamaro ku ngorane yanje. Maze indwi imwe gusa ndayiga naciye ubwo nyene nshaka gusubirana n’umugabo wanje. Uyu musi ndashobora kuvuga yuko Yehova azi kurokora imibano iri mu ngorane, kubera yuko inyigisho ziwe zifasha abubatse kwiga uburyo bwo kwubahana. Ivy’uko bamwe bavuga ngo Ivyabona vya Yehova bazana amacakubiri mu ngo, si ivy’ukuri. Ivyanshikiye vyabaye igihushane c’ivyo abantu bavuga.” Rusiya yarize gukurikiza ingingo ngenderwako za Bibiliya mu buzima bwiwe.

22. Abubakanye bose bakwiye kwizigira iki?

²² Si akarorero ka Rusiya gusa twovuga. Umubano w’ababiranye ukwiye kuba umuhezagiro, ntukwiye kuba umuzigo. Kugira ngo ivyo bishoboke, Yehova yaratanze isoko ry’impanuro zo mu mubano w’ababiranye nziza kuruta izatanzwe zose, iryo soko rikaba ari Ijambo ryiwe ry’agaciro. Bibiliya irashobora “[gu]ha umutungu ubgenge.” (Zaburi 19:7-11) Yararokoye imibano y’ababiranye myinshi yari mu gusambuka, iranaryohora iyindi myinshi yari ifise ingorane zikomakomeye. Ese abubakanye bose bokwizigira bimwe vyuzuye impanuro Yehova Imana atanga zerekeye umubano w’ababiranye. Mu vy’ukuri, ni ngirakamaro!