IGICE CYA 3
Ese uyu ni we dukwiranye?
Fata akanya usubize ibi bibazo:
Ni ibihe bintu by’ibanze wifuza ko uwo mwazashakana agomba kuba yujuje? Shyira aka kamenyetso ✔ imbere y’ibintu bine wumva ko ari iby’ingenzi kurusha ibindi.
□ Ufite uburanga □ Ukunda Imana
□ Usabana □ Wizerwa
□ Ukundwa n’abantu benshi □ Ugira ikinyabupfura
□ Usetsa □ Ufite intego zifatika
Ese ukiri muto hari umuntu wigeze kumva ukunze? Ku rutonde rwavuzwe haruguru, shyira aka kamenyetso × imbere y’icyatumye wumva umukunze.
IBYO bintu byavuzwe haruguru nta kibi na kimwe kirimo. Byose bishobora gutuma ukunda umuntu. Ariko se, ntiwemera ko iyo wakunze umuntu by’agahararo, wibanda ahanini ku bigaragara inyuma, urugero nk’ibivugwa mu nkingi y’ibumoso?
Icyakora uko ugenda uca akenge, utangira gukoresha ubushobozi bwawe bwo kwiyumvisha ibintu maze ugasuzuma imico y’ingenzi, urugero nk’iyagaragajwe mu nkingi y’iburyo. Urugero, ushobora gutangira kubona ko umukobwa mwiza kurusha abandi mu bo uzi, burya atari uwo kwizerwa cyangwa ugasanga wa muhungu abanyeshuri bose bakunda, atagira ikinyabupfura. Niba umaze kurenga igihe cy’amabyiruka, ukwiriye kureba ibirenze ibigaragarira amaso kugira ngo umenye niba mukwiranye koko.
Banza wimenye
Mbere yo gusuzuma niba mukwiranye, ukwiriye kubanza kwisuzuma ukimenya. Kugira ngo wimenye neza, subiza ibi bibazo bikurikira:
Ni iyihe mico myiza mfite? ․․․․․
Ni hehe ngira intege nke cyangwa nkwiriye kunonosora? ․․․․․
Nifuza ko uwo tuzashakana yazajya amfata ate kandi se ni iyihe mishyikirano nifuza kugirana n’Imana? ․․․․․
Nubwo kwimenya bitoroshye, kwibaza ibibazo nk’ibyo bishobora kugufasha kubigeraho. Kwimenya bizatuma ubona umuntu uzagufasha kugira imico myiza, aho kugira ingeso mbi.a Wakora iki se niba wumva uwo muntu waramubonye?
Ese uwo nahitamo wese hari icyo bitwaye?
“None se ko nifuza ko tumenyana?” Bitewe n’ukubajije icyo kibazo, ushobora kugira ubwoba cyangwa ugasabwa n’ibyishimo. Reka tuvuge ko umwemereye. None se uko igihe kizagenda gihita, uzabwirwa n’iki ko uwo muhungu cyangwa uwo mukobwa w’incuti yawe mukwiranye?
Tuvuge ko wifuza kugura inkweto. Ugiye mu iduka none ubonye inkweto wumva urazikunze. Urazigeze, ariko ikibabaje ni uko usanze zitagukwira. Wabigenza ute? Ese wapfa kuzigura? Cyangwa washaka izindi? Uko bigaragara, ibyiza ni ukuzireka ugashaka izindi. Kugenda wambaye inkweto zitagukwiriye, ntibihwitse rwose!
Ibyo ni kimwe no gushaka uwo muzabana. Uko igihe kigenda gihita, ushobora kubona abantu benshi mudahuje igitsina ukumva ubakunze. Ariko bose si ko mukwiranye. Kandi koko, umuntu wifuza ni uzatuma wumva uguwe neza, uzuzuzanya n’imico yawe, akagufasha kugera ku ntego zawe (Intangiriro 2:18; Matayo 19:4-6). Ese uwo muntu waba waramaze kumubona? Niba waramubonye se, wabwirwa n’iki ko mukwiranye?
Ntukarebe ibigaragara inyuma gusa
Kugira ngo usubize neza icyo kibazo, suzuma uwo muntu utamubereye. Ariko ube maso, kuko ushobora kugwa mu mutego wo kubona ibyo wifuza kureba gusa. Ubwo rero, fata igihe gihagije. Gerageza gutahura uko iyo ncuti yawe iteye. Nubwo bizagusaba gushyiraho imihati, ni byo ukwiriye gukora. Reka dufate urugero: tekereza ugiye kugura imodoka. Wayisuzuma ute? Ese uzashishikazwa gusa n’uko igaragara inyuma? Ese ntibyarushaho kuba byiza urebye n’ibitagaragara, wenda ukamenya byinshi ku birebana n’uko moteri yayo ikora?
Gushaka uwo muzabana ni ikintu gikomeye kuruta guhitamo imodoka. Icyakora, abantu benshi barambagizanya bita ku bintu bigaragara inyuma gusa. Usanga bibanda ku bintu bahuriyeho, bakavuga bati ‘umuzika akunda nanjye ni wo nkunda.’ ‘Dushimishwa no gukora ibintu bimwe.’ ‘Twumvikana ku bintu byose.’ Icyakora nk’uko byavuzwe haruguru, niba wararenze igihe cy’amabyiruka, ntuzita ku bigaragara inyuma gusa. Uzabona ko ari ngombwa gusuzuma “umuntu uhishwe mu mutima.”—1 Petero 3:4; Abefeso 3:16.
Urugero, aho kureba gusa ku byo mwumvikanaho, byaba byiza urebye uko bigenda iyo mugize icyo mutumvikanaho. Ese iyo hari icyo mutavugaho rumwe, abigenza ate? Ese yanga kuva ku izima, wenda ‘akazabiranywa n’uburakari’ cyangwa ‘agatukana’ (Abagalatiya 5:19, 20; Abakolosayi 3:8)? Ese uwo muntu ashyira mu gaciro, akemera kuva ku izima mu gihe nta mahame yirengagijwe?—Yakobo 3:17.
Hari ikindi kintu ukwiriye gusuzuma: ese uwo muntu agerageza kugukoresha ibyo yifuza? Ese agerageza kukubuza gusabana n’abandi cyangwa akagira ishyari? Ese aba ashaka kumenya aho uri hose n’icyo ukora? Umukobwa witwa Nicole, yaravuze ati “hari abantu barambagizanya numvise ko bajya barwana bapfuye ko umwe atihanganira ko mugenzi we atamumenyesha aho agiye hose. Kuri jye, icyo ni ikimenyetso cy’uko nibabana bazagirana ibibazo.”—1 Abakorinto 13:4.
Ibibazo nk’ibyo byavuzwe haruguru bijyanirana na kamere y’umuntu n’imyifatire ye. Icyakora, kumenya uko umuntu avugwa na byo ni ikintu cy’ingenzi. Ese uwo muntu abandi bamubona bate? Ushobora kuganira n’abantu bamaze igihe bazi neza uwo muntu, wenda nk’abantu bakuze mu buryo bw’umwuka bo mu itorero. Ibyo bizatuma umenya niba ‘ashimwa’ n’abandi.—Ibyakozwe 16:1, 2.
Kwandika uko ubona incuti yawe ukurikije ibivugwa muri izi paragarafu, bishobora kugufasha kuyimenya neza.
Imico ye ․․․․․
Imyifatire ye ․․․․․
Uko avugwa ․․․․․
Gusuzuma ibivugwa mu gasanduku gafite umutwe uvuga ngo “Ese azambera umugabo mwiza?” kari ku ipaji ya 39, cyangwa akavuga ngo “Ese azambera umugore mwiza?” kari ku ipaji ya 40, bizagufasha. Ibibazo biri muri utwo dusanduku, bizagufasha kumenya niba incuti yawe yavamo umugabo cyangwa umugore mukwiranye.
None se byagenda bite niba umaze gusuzuma uwo muntu ugasanga mudakwiranye? Icyo gihe, waba uhanganye n’iki kibazo gikomeye:
Ese duhagarike ubucuti twari dufitanye?
Hari igihe guhagarika ubwo bucuti bigira akamaro. Reka dusuzume ibyabaye ku mukobwa witwa Jill. Yaravuze ati “mu mizo ya mbere, nashimishwaga n’uko umuhungu w’incuti yanjye yahoraga ahangayikishijwe no kumenya aho ndi, icyo nkora n’uwo turi kumwe. Ariko byageze aho ntashoboraga kugira undi muntu tumarana igihe uretse we. Ndetse n’iyo nabaga ndi kumwe n’abagize umuryango wanjye, cyane cyane papa, yagiraga ishyari. Igihe nahagarikaga ubucuti twari dufitanye, numvise ari nk’aho ntuye umutwaro wari undemereye cyane.”
Sarah na we byamubayeho. Yatangiye kubona ko umuhungu barambagizanyaga witwaga John yakundaga kumuserereza; yari indashima kandi akagira amahane. Sarah yaravuze ati “hari igihe yaje iwacu yakererewe amasaha atatu kuri gahunda twari dufitanye. Aho kugira ngo avugishe mama wari umufunguriye, yahise avuga ati ‘ngaho se ngwino tugende! Ntubona ko twakererewe.’ Aho kuvuga ati ‘nakererewe,’ yaravuze ngo ‘twakererewe.’ Yagombye kuba yarasabye imbabazi cyangwa agasobanura impamvu yakererewe. Mbere y’ibindi byose, yagombye nibura kuba yarubashye mama.” Birumvikana ko ikosa rimwe ritatuma muhagarika burundu ubucuti mwari mufitanye (Zaburi 130:3). Ariko Sarah amaze kubona ko kuba John yaravuze nabi atari ibintu byari bimugwiririye ahubwo ari kamere ye, yahisemo guhagarika ubucuti bari bafitanye.
Byagenda bite se niba kimwe na Jill na Sarah, ubonye ko udakwiranye n’uwo muntu mwari mufitanye ubucuti? Mu gihe bigenze bityo, ntukirengagize ibyiyumvo byawe! Nubwo guhagarika ubucuti mwari mufitanye bishobora kutakorohera, ni cyo kintu cyiza ukwiriye gukora. Mu Migani 22:3, hagira hati “umunyamakenga iyo abonye amakuba aje arihisha.” Urugero, niba incuti yawe igaragaza zimwe mu ngeso mbi ziri ku ipaji ya 39 n’iya 40, byaba byiza muhagaritse ubucuti mwari mufitanye, wenda kugeza igihe izikosorera. Tuvugishije ukuri, guhagarika ubucuti ntibyoroshye. Nanone ariko, abashyingiranywe babana akaramata. Ibyiza ni uko wababara igihe gito, aho kuzicuza ubuzima bwawe bwose.
Uko wamumenyesha umwanzuro wafashe
Wamumenyesha ute ko ubucuti mwari mufitanye buhagaze? Banza ushake uburyo bwiza bwo kubiganiraho. Wabigenza ute? Ese ari wowe, wakwifuza ko umuntu abikubwira ate (Matayo 7:12)? Ese wakwifuza ko yabikubwirira ku mugaragaro n’abandi bose bumva? Birumvikana ko atari byo wifuza. Uretse igihe bibaye ngombwa bitewe n’imimerere, ntibikwiriye ko uhagarika ubucuti bwanyu ngo ubimubwirire kuri telefoni cyangwa ngo umwoherereze ubutumwa bugufi kuri telefoni cyangwa kuri interineti. Ahubwo mukwiriye gushaka igihe n’ahantu hakwiriye, mukaganira kuri icyo kibazo kitoroshye.
Wamubwira iki se niba ugeze igihe cyo kubivuga? Pawulo yateye Abakristo inkunga yo “kubwizanya ukuri” (Abefeso 4:25). Bityo rero, uburyo bwiza ni ukugira amakenga ariko ibyo uvuga ukabivuga ukomeje. Sobanura neza impamvu wowe wumva ko ubucuti mufitanye butazatuma ugira urugo rwiza. Si ngombwa ko urondora amakosa ye yose cyangwa ngo utangire kumunenga cyane. Aho kuvuga ngo “ntukora” ibi n’ibi cyangwa ngo “nta na rimwe” ujya ukora utya, byarushaho kuba byiza ukoresheje amagambo yumvikanisha uko wiyumva, wenda ukavuga uti “umuntu nifuza yagombye kuba . . . ” cyangwa “nifuza ko ubucuti dufitanye buhagarara kubera ko . . . ”
Icyo si cyo gihe cyo kuvuga ibintu ubica ku ruhande cyangwa ngo wisubireho. Ukwiriye kuzirikana ko hari impamvu ikomeye yatumye ufata umwanzuro wo guhagarika ubwo bucuti. Jya ugira amakenga mu gihe iyo ncuti yawe igerageje kugushukashuka ngo uhindure umwanzuro wafashe. Umukobwa witwa Lori yaravuze ati “nyuma y’aho mpagarikiye ubucuti nari mfitanye n’umusore w’incuti yanjye, yari asigaye yitwara nk’uwahungabanye. Ntekereza ko yitwaraga atyo agira ngo mugirire impuhwe. Numvise bimbabaje. Icyakora sinemeye ko ibyo bihindura umwanzuro nari nafashe.” Kimwe na Lori, ukwiriye kumenya icyo wifuza kandi ugakomera ku mwanzuro wafashe. Oya yawe ijye iba oya.—Yakobo 5:12.
Ingaruka bishobora gutera
Nyuma y’igihe runaka muhagaritse ubucuti bwanyu, ntuzatangazwe no kumva ubabaye. Ushobora no kumva umeze nk’umwanditsi wa zaburi wavuze ati “narashobewe, narahetamye birengeje urugero; ngendana umubabaro umunsi wose” (Zaburi 38:6). Bamwe mu ncuti zawe bashobora kuguhumuriza bakubwira ko byaba byiza wongeye guhembera ubucuti wari ufitanye n’uwo muntu, kandi bakabikora nta kibi bagamije. Uramenye! Ni wowe uzirengera ingaruka z’umwanzuro wawe, si izo ncuti zawe. Bityo rero, ntukagire ubwoba bwo gukomera ku mwanzuro wawe, nubwo ushobora kumva ubabajwe n’ibyabaye.
Izere udashidikanya ko ako gahinda kazashira, uko igihe kizagenda gihita. Hagati aho ariko, hari ibintu wakora byagufasha, urugero nk’ibi bikurikira.
Shaka incuti wizeye uyibwire uko wumva umerewe (Imigani 15:22).b Senga Yehova umubwire icyo kibazo (Zaburi 55:22). Jya ushaka ibyo uhugiramo (1 Abakorinto 15:58). Ntukitarure abandi (Imigani 18:1). Jya ushyikirana n’abantu bazajya bagutera inkunga. Gerageza guhoza ibitekerezo byawe ku bintu byiza.—Abafilipi 4:8.
Amaherezo, ushobora kuzabona indi ncuti. Nta gushidikanya ko mu bucuti muzagirana, uzagaragaza ko ushyira mu gaciro. Ahari wenda, icyo gihe ushobora kuzasubiza yego kuri iki kibazo kigira kiti “ese uyu ni we dukwiranye?”
KU BINDI BISOBANURO, REBA UMUBUMBE WA 1, IGICE CYA 31
Niba murimo murambagizanya, ni iyihe mipaka mutagomba kurenga mu gihe mugaragarizanya urukundo?
[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]
a Ushobora kurushaho kwimenya usuzumye ibibazo biri mu gice cya 1, munsi y’agatwe kavuga ngo “Ese ugeze igihe cyo gushaka?”
b Ababyeyi bawe cyangwa abandi bantu bakuze, urugero nk’abasaza b’itorero, bashobora kugufasha. Bashobora no kukubwira ko ibyakubayeho na bo babinyuzemo.
UMURONGO W’IFATIZO
“Imigenzereze y’umwana ni yo igaragaza niba ibikorwa bye biboneye kandi bitunganye.”—Imigani 20:11.
INAMA
Mukorane ibintu bishobora gutuma umenya imico afite:
● Kwigira hamwe Ijambo ry’Imana.
● Kwitegereza uko buri wese yitabira amateraniro n’umurimo wo kubwiriza.
● Gukorana isuku ku Nzu y’Ubwami ndetse no mu mishinga y’ubwubatsi.
ESE WARI UBIZI . . . ?
Ubushakashatsi bukomeje kugaragaza ko iyo umugabo n’umugore bashakanye badahuje idini, bakunze gutana.
ICYO NIYEMEJE GUKORA
Dore icyo nzakora nimbona ntangiye gukunda umuntu utizera: ․․․․․
Dore icyo nzakora kugira ngo menye uko uwo turambagizanya avugwa: ․․․․․
Icyo nifuza kubaza ababyeyi banjye kuri iyi ngingo ni iki: ․․․․․
UBITEKEREZAHO IKI?
● Ni iyihe mico myiza ufite izatuma mugira ishyingiranwa ryiza?
● Ni iyihe mico y’ingenzi wifuza ko uwo muzashakana yaba afite?
● Ni ibihe bibazo bikomeye bishobora kuvuka uramutse ushakanye n’umuntu mudahuje ukwizera?
● Wakora iki kugira ngo umenye imico n’imyitwarire by’uwo murambagizanya, ndetse n’uko avugwa?
Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 37
“Uko iyo ncuti yawe ifata abagize umuryango wayo, ni ko nawe izagufata.’’—Tony
[Agasanduku ko ku ipaji ya 34]
“Ntimukifatanye n’abatizera kuko mudahuje”
“Ntimukifatanye n’abatizera kuko mudahuje.” Ushobora kuba wumva iryo hame ryo muri Bibiliya riri mu 2 Abakorinto 6:14, rishyize mu gaciro. Hari igihe ushobora kumva ukunze umuntu utizera. Kubera iki? Wenda hari igihe bishobora guterwa n’uko afite uburanga. Umusore witwa Mark yaravuze ati “hari umukobwa nabonaga buri gihe iyo twabaga twagiye muri siporo. Yakoze ibishoboka byose kugira ngo tuganire. Ntitwatinze kugirana ubucuti.”
Niba wiyizi bihagije kandi ukaba wiringira amahame ugenderaho yo mu buryo bw’umwuka, ukaba ukuze bihagije ku buryo utakiyoborwa n’ibyiyumvo, uzamenya icyo ukwiriye gukora. Mu by’ukuri, nubwo uwo muntu yaba ari mwiza ate, afite igikundiro cyangwa afite imyifatire myiza, ntazatuma urushaho kugirana imishyikirano myiza n’Imana.—Yakobo 4:4.
Birumvikana ko iyo mwatangiye gukundana, guhagarika ubwo bucuti bitoroha. Ibyo ni byo byabaye ku mukobwa witwa Cindy. Yaravuze ati “nirirwaga ndira. Buri gihe nabaga ntekereza uwo muhungu, ndetse no mu materaniro. Naramukundaga byasaze ku buryo numvaga napfa aho kumubura.” Nyuma y’igihe gito, Cindy yabonye ko nyina yakoze neza kumugira inama yo kutagirana ubucuti nk’ubwo n’umuntu utizera. Cindy yaravuze ati “ni byiza kuba narahagaritse ubucuti twari dufitanye. Ubu nizera ntashidikanya ko Yehova azanyitaho.”
Ese ibyabaye kuri Cindy byaba byarakubayeho? Niba byarakubayeho, ntubyihererane. Bibwire ababyeyi bawe. Ibyo ni byo umusore witwa Jim yakoze igihe yumvaga akunze umukobwa biganaga. Yaravuze ati “amaherezo naje kubibwira ababyeyi banjye mbasaba kumfasha. Ibyo ni byo byamfashije kumwikuramo.” Abasaza b’itorero na bo bashobora kugufasha. None se kuki utabwira umwe muri bo, ukamusobanurira ikibazo uhanganye na cyo?—Yesaya 32:1, 2.
[Agasanduku/Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 39]
urupapuro rw’imyitozo
ese azambera umugabo mwiza?
ibintu by’ibanze agomba kuba yujuje
□ Niba afite ubutware abukoresha ate?—Matayo 20:25, 26.
□ Afite izihe ntego?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.
□ Ese ubu hari icyo arimo akora kugira ngo agere kuri izo ntego?—1 Abakorinto 9:26, 27.
□ Afata ate abagize umuryango we?—Kuva 20:12.
□ Incuti ze ni izihe?—Imigani 13:20.
□ Ni ibihe bintu akunze kuganiraho?—Luka 6:45.
□ Yitwara ate mu birebana n’amafaranga?—Abaheburayo 13:5, 6.
□ Akunda iyihe myidagaduro?—Zaburi 97:10.
□ Agaragaza ate ko akunda Yehova?—1 Yohana 5:3.
indi mico myiza
□ Ese ni umunyamwete?—Imigani 6:9-11.
□ Ese azi gukoresha neza amafaranga?—Luka 14:28.
□ Ese avugwa neza?—Ibyakozwe 16:1, 2.
□ Ese yita ku bandi?—Abafilipi 2:4.
ingeso mbi
□ Ese akunda kurakara?—Imigani 22:24.
□ Ese ajya agerageza kugushora mu bikorwa by’ubwiyandarike?—Abagalatiya 5:19.
□ Ese ajya akubita abandi cyangwa akabatuka? —Abefeso 4:31.
□ Ese yumva ko kwishimisha bisaba byanze bikunze ko umuntu anywa inzoga?—Imigani 20:1.
□ Ese agira ishyari kandi akikunda?—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5.
[Agasanduku/Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 40]
urupapuro rw’imyitozo
ese azambera umugore mwiza?
ibintu by’ibanze agomba kuba yujuje
□ Agaragaza ate ko aganduka, haba mu muryango no mu itorero?—Abefeso 5:21, 22.
□ Afata ate abagize umuryango we?—Kuva 20:12.
□ Incuti ze ni izihe?—Imigani 13:20.
□ Ni ibihe bintu akunze kuganiraho?—Luka 6:45.
□ Yitwara ate mu birebana n’amafaranga?—1 Yohana 2:15-17.
□ Afite izihe ntego?—1 Timoteyo 4:15.
□ Ese ubu hari icyo arimo akora kugira ngo agere kuri izo ntego?—1 Abakorinto 9:26, 27.
□ Akunda iyihe myidagaduro?—Zaburi 97:10.
□ Agaragaza ate ko akunda Yehova?—1 Yohana 5:3.
indi mico myiza
□ Ese ni umunyamwete?—Imigani 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.
□ Ese azi gukoresha neza amafaranga?—Imigani 31:16, 18.
□ Ese avugwa neza?—Rusi 3:11.
□ Ese yita ku bandi?—Imigani 31:20.
ingeso mbi
□ Ese agira amahane?—Imigani 21:19.
□ Ese ajya agerageza kugushora mu bikorwa by’ubwiyandarike?—Abagalatiya 5:19.
□ Ese ajya akubita abandi cyangwa akabatuka? —Abefeso 4:31.
□ Ese yumva ko kwishimisha bisaba byanze bikunze ko umuntu anywa inzoga?—Imigani 20:1.
□ Ese agira ishyari kandi akikunda?—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5.
[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 30]
Kimwe n’uko inkweto zose zidashobora kugukwira, ni na ko udakwiranye n’umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu uwo ari we wese
[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 31]
Ese utekereza ko ari iby’ingenzi kugenzura n’ibitagaragara inyuma mu gihe ugiye guhitamo imodoka? Ese si ko ukwiriye kubigenza no mu gihe uhitamo uwo muzabana?