Kuswedera Pedyo naMwari Kwakandibetsera Kukurira

NDAKANGA ndisingafariri rudzidziso. Rudzidziso rwose rwakarongwa rwakaratidzika kuva unyengeri kwandiri. Ndaisagona kuona kuti rwaibetsera zvikuru vanhu, kunze kwokuvaita kuti vave vasingashiviriri vamwe. Makanga muri mukupera kwama 1960. Purezidhendi weUnited States akanga aurawa, uye zviuru zvakanga zviri kufa muhondo muVietnam. Nyika yakanga yakanyongana. Upenyu hwangu humene hwakanga huchiparara. Kwaigona sei kuva naMwari anondiitira hanya kana kuti rudzi rwomunhu?

Ndakanga ndine makore 27 okukura, ndakaroorwa uye ndine vana vaduku vaviri, uye ndichishanda nguva yakazara munzvimbo yavanhu vane vhiringidziko dzendangariro apo muvakidzani akatanga kutaura kwandiri pamusoro peBhaibheri. Nenzira inoshamisa, ndakazviwana ndimene ndichiteerera. Iye akataura pamusoro pechaakadana kuti mazuva okupedzisira. Akanzwika kuva akasiana, uye ndaida mhinduro. Akandisiira bhuku rine musoro unoti Zvokwadi Inotungamirira Kuupenyu Husingagumi. Ndakarirava muusiku humwe, ndokutarira magwaro ose, uye ndokuzviwana ndimene ndichishamisika, kuti ‘Ndawana zvokwadi zvomenemene here?’

Kana ndakanga ndawana, yakapa chinetso. Ndakazvarirwa mumhuri yechiJudha, ndaiva nomurume wechiJudha uye vana vaduku vaviri, uye hama dzokunyama dzechiJudha. Ndaiziva kuti vaizoshatirwa kana ndikava mumwe weZvapupu zvaJehovha. Ndaisada kurwadzisa mhuri yangu pasina dikanwo; ndaifanira kuva nechokwadi. Ndakavamba kurava nokudisa mabhuku eBhaibheri. Mukati mevhiki rimwe ndakapwiswa kuti iyi yakanga iri zvokwadi. Kwakanga kuri chimwe chinhu chandaifanira kuita. Naizvozvo ndakavamba kufunda neZvapupu zvaJehovha. Mukati mamavhiki ndakanga ndava kuparidzira kumunhu ari wose. Ndakafadzwa kudzidza kuti zita raMwari rakanga riri Jehovha, kuti anondiitira hanya norudzi rwose rwomunhu, uye kuti upenyu husingaperi paparadhiso yapasi hwakanga huchibvira. Ndakabhapatidzwa pana June 12, 1970.

Sezvandakanga ndanyumwira, mhuri yangu pamwe chete nehama dzangu dzomuroorano vakashatirwa zvikuru, uye vamwe vakandiramba. Murume wangu aifunda achirega kwamakore anoverengeka asi haana kutongova mutendi. Vana vangu, zvisinei, vakava Zvapupu zvaJehovha. Kubvira pamavambo, ndaida kuva mushumiri wenguva yakazara, ndichiparidzira paimba neimba mashoko akanaka oUmambo hwaMwari. Asi ndakanga ndine mhuri yaikura uye murume asingatendi. Kunyange ini ndaishanda nguva yakazara, takarasikirwa nemisha miviri, uye nguva dzinoverengeka takanga tisina nzvimbo yokugara. Upenyu hwakanga hwakaoma zvikuru.

Imwe nguva imba yedu yaizovharwa. Taifanira kubuda mumba imomo pamasikati eSvondo, uye takanga tisina kwokuenda. Ndakaita zvose zvandaigona, uye pakupedzisira Chitanhatu mangwanani, zuva rapamberi racho, ndakasarudza kuti ndaizoita seizvo Jesu akataura pana Mateo 6:33—kutanga kutsvaka Umambo uye kumirira Jehovha kugovera zvinhu zvandaida. Ndakabuda muushumiri hwapachena. Ndinoyeuka ndichichema nemhaka yefunganyo iyo mugariro wacho wakanga waparira, asi mumaminiti mashanu ndakanzwa zviri nani. Ndakawana nguva dzose kuti kuparidzira kune muuyo wakananga pandiri; kunondisimudzira kupfuura zvinetso zvangu, uye mudzimu waJehovha unoramba uchindiita kuti ndifare uye ndibereke zvibereko uye unopa upenyu hwangu revo. Zvisinei, apo ndakasvika kumba zuva iroro, takanga tisina zvakare kwokuenda, asi ndakanzwa zviri nani.

Madekwana iwayo takagamuchira runhare kubva kusangano rokutengesa nzvimbo iro rakanga richitarisira zvinodikanwa zvedu. Pakanga pari pa 11:30 p.m., uye mumiriri wesangano rokutengesa nzvimbo akanga achiitira hanya zvikuru kuti takanga tisina nzvimbo yokuenda zvokuti akatiwanira nzvimbo yokugara kwechinguvana kusvikira imba yatakanga tichifanira kuwana yagadzirwa. Naizvozvo Zvapupu biyangu zvakatitamisira muimba yacho neSvondo. Takagara imomo, zvinhu zvedu zvichiri mumabhokisi, kwamavhiki matatu uye pakupedzisira takatamira mumba medu apo yakanga yagadzirwa. Kwakanga kusiri nyore, asi Jehovha akagovera zvinodikanwa zvedu. Ikoku kwakandisimbisa zvikuru uye kwakavaka kutenda kwangu. Kwakanga kwakaita sokutaura kwakaita Mambo Dhavhidhi pana Pisarema 37:25, kuti: “Ndakanga ndiri muduku, zvino ndakwegura; kunyange zvakadaro handina kutongoona wakarurama achisiiwa, kana vana vake vachipemha zvokudya.”

Paiva nezvinetso mukutarisirwa kwemari yemhuri. Pane dzimwe nguva ndaitarisira mari yacho ndokururamisa chinhu chiri chose. Ndakaedza nenzira yokupererwa nezano rose kuita kuti roorano irambe iri pamwe chete mukati maaya makore, zvikurukuru nemhaka yorudo rwangu nokuda kwaJehovha nomurangariro wake wegadziriro yeroorano, uye mumwoyo mangu ndaikarira kuti murume wangu aizochinja ndokuuya muzvokwadi.

Ndainyengetera nguva dzose pamusoro poupiona hwenguva dzose, uye ndakanyoresa upiona hwebetsero pabanza riri rose.a Ndaiziva kuti kuparidzira kwakanga kuri nzira yakanakisisa neinokosha zvikurusa yandaigona kushandisa nayo upenyu hwangu. Ndaida Jehovha uye ndaida kumubatira nomwoyo wose. Ndaidawo vanhu uye ndaida kuvabetsera. Ndakasvika pakunzwisisa kubva muupenyu hwangu ndimene hwakaoma kubetsera kunoita nheyo dzeBhaibheri uye ndakaziva kuti vanhu vaida tariro iyo Umambo hunogovera. Asi ndaitya kuti mhuri yangu yaisazorarama kana ndikasashanda. Kwakanga kwakaoma kurarama.

Ndakazhamba, Mubati Chibharo Akatiza

Ipapo chimwe chinhu chakaitika muupenyu hwangu icho chakandipa kutenda kwokuti Jehovha achagovera nguva dzose ndokunditarisira. Mumwe munhu akapinda mumba mangu uye akaedza kundibata chibharo. Akandidenha sezvandakanga ndakarara, uye apo ndakamuka, akatyisidzira kundiuraya kana ndikazhamba kana kuti kupfakanyika. Kunyange zvazvo ndakatyiswa, Jehovha akandibetsera kuva akaterama nokuva nokuzvidzora kuti ndinyengetere nokurangarira chingava chiito chakanakisisa. Ndaiziva izvo Bhaibheri rinotaura pamusoro pokuzhamba, asi ndakafungawo kuti zvimwe aizondiuraya kana ndikazhamba, uye ipapo vana vangu vaizomuka, uye aizovauraya. Ndakaona zita rangu richioneka muzviziviso zvavakauraiwa ndokunyengetera kuti Jehovha aizodzivirira vana vangu kana ndikafa. Kunyange zvakadaro, ndakaita izvo Bhaibheri rinokurudzira kuita—ndakazhamba. (Dheuteronomio 22:26, 27) Mubati chibharo akatiza. Ndaidavira chaizvo kuti ndaizofa usiku ihwohwo. Ndakatoswedera pedyo zvikuru naJehovha.

Ndakarega basa rangu uye ndakavamba kubatira sapiona wenguva dzose muna 1975. Ndakapayona kwamakore matanhatu, uye murume wangu akabhadhara zvikwereti. Nenzira isingafadzi, ndakatanga kuva nechirwere chediabetes pazera duku uye ndakarwara zvikuru pane imwe nguva. Kuti ndikurire, ndakapfuurira kutsamira pana Jehovha zvakatonyanya. Pasinei zvapo nemigariro yangu, iwayo akanga ari makore anofadza zvikurusa naane zvibereko zvikuru andakanga ndambova nawo kusvikira panguva iyoyo. Jehovha akandikomborera navadzidzi vazhinji veBhaibheri vakafambira mberi kukubhapatidzwa. Vamwe vakasvika pakuva mapiona ivo vamene.

Ipapo, muna 1980, upenyu hwedu hwakakamukana. Paradzano yakatanga pakati pomurume wangu neni. Vana vangu vakanetseka zvikuru, naizvozvo nokuda kwavo ndakaedza kuchengetedza roorano yacho, asi murume wangu haana kugamuchira nhamburiko dzangu. Pane ino nguva, ndakaziva kuti yakanga iri nguva yokuwana chatanuro yapaMagwaro. Kuenda kwake kwakava netapuro inoparadza pavana vangu.

Ndakanga ndichiedza nenzira yokupererwa nezano kupfuurira kupayona panguva ino uye ndakakwanisa kupfuurira kwerinenge gore rimwe. Zvisinei, mwanasikana wangu, asingakwanisi kutsungirira mugariro wacho, akavamba kupandukira chinhu chiri chose, kubatanidza ini nezvokwadi. Ndakamira kupayona mukati meiyi nguva nemhaka yomufambiro wake. Ikoku kwakanditsamwisa zvikuru; upenyu hwangu hwakavhiringidzwa. Ndakanzwa ndiri ndoga zvikuru, sokunge kuti chinhu chiri chose chakanga chaenda kunze kwaJehovha.

Pakanga pari panenge panguva ino apo Jehovha akagovera hama mbiri dzinodikanwa dzakandibetsera kupfuura zvavangatongoziva. Mumwe akanga ari mutariri wedunhu, uye mumwe akanga ari mukuru mune imwe ungano aiziva migariro yedu, sezvo akanga afunda nomurume wangu. Handigoni kutongoonga Jehovha zvakakwana nokuda kweizvi zvipo muvarume. Nguva dzose vachave vakanaka kwandiri.

Isati iri nguva refu pashure, pazera duku zvikuru, mwanasikana wangu akaroorwa kunze kwezvokwadi. Ikoku kwakanetsa mhuri uye kwakawedzera nhamo yedu. Mwanakomana wangu akavamba kugara akaparadzana neni nokukurumidza pashure pacho. Ndakanyengetera nguva dzose kuti Jehovha abetsere mhuri yangu kupfuurira muzvokwadi. Vakanga vachikosha zvikuru kwandiri, uye chinhu bedzi chandaida zvikuru chakanga chiri chokuti ivo varambe vana Jehovha. Ikoku kwakanga kwave kuri munyengetero wangu wenguva dzose mukati moupenyu hwangu hwose muzvokwadi. Nguva iyoyo yakanga yakaipisisa kwandiri kupfuura makore ose 20 eroorano—uye akanga akaipa. Zvisinei, ndaiziva kuti neimwe nzira Jehovha aizotibetsera kupfuurira, uye chipi kana chipi chingava muuyo, ndaifanira kuita kuda kwake.

Chimwe chinoitika ndinochirangarira zvikuru. Ndakanga ndichiri kupayona, uye takanga tisina mari asi taida inenge Z$350 kuti tipedze vhiki uye kuva nemari yokufambisa nokuda kwebasa revhiki raitevera. Ndakanga ndashanda mazuva maviri somushandi wechinguvana. Kazhinji kazhinji, ndaifanira kumirira rinenge vhiki kuti ndiwane mari yandaitambira—inenge Z$200. Ndakanga ndisina mari yezvokudya, shoma zvikuru nokuda kwokufambisa. Usiku hwakatevera ndakanga ndine fundo yeBhaibheri nomukadzi uyo akakwanisa kundibetsera nemari yematikiti echitima chinofamba napasi pevhu.

Mangwanani akatevera akanga ari Chishanu. Ndakaenda kunotora matsamba, uye makanga mune matsamba maviri. Imwe yacho yakanga iri cheki yandakanga ndichikarira vhiki rinotevera racho. Yakasvika kubhangi romuNew York City ndokuiswa muakaundi yangu muasingasviki mazuva matatu. Ndakashamiswa. Ndakanga ndichiri kuda Z$145 kana kuti Z$150 yokurarama nayo. Muhamvuropu yechipiri makanga mune cheki yeZ$145, yandakanga ndichida chaiyo. Chinhu chaishamisa zvikuru pamusoro paikoku chakanga chiri chokuti muna February wegore iroro, hurumende yakanga yandipa chipo chemari yokutenga mafuta okudziisa mumba mangu. Zvino makanga mava muna August, uye vakasarudza kuti vaifanira kundipa Z$145—muna August, yokudziisa here? Neiko vaizofunga kuti vaifanira kundipa chinhu chipi nechipi, uye mafuta muna August? Itapuro inosimbisa kutenda zvakadini iyo ikoku kwakava nayo pandiri!

Zvinhu Zvokunyama Hazvisi Mhinduro

Ndakavamba kushanda nguva yakazara ndokudzidza kushandisa makomupiyuta pamabasa andakaita. Makore andisina kupayona akanga akaoma zvikuru. Kunyange zvazvo ndakanga ndine basa rakaisvonaka uye ndakanga ndine chengeteko yezvemari nezvinhu zvokunyama, ndakanga ndisiri kufara. Vana vangu vakanga vachizviraramira uye vachiva nezvinetso zvakaoma zvikuru. Mwanasikana wangu akanga achidzoka muzvokwadi asi akanga achine zvinetso. Mwanakomana wangu akanga achivawo nezvinetso. Pashure penhambo yakati yenguva, ndakanzwa kuti ndakanga ndichirasikirwa noukama huya hwapedyo zvikuru naJehovha hwandaikoshesa zvikuru. Ndakarangarira kuti ndakanga ndichikukurwa kubva kuna Jehovha kunyange zvazvo pasina munhu akanga achigona kuzviona. Ndaipinda misangano yose, ndaifunda, ndaibuda mubasa, asi zvakanga zvisina kukwana. Ndakaedza kushamwaridzana neshamwari dzakawanda, asi ikoko hakuna kubetserawo.

Ndakavamba kuzvinzwira urombo ndimene. Ndakavamba kuyeuka ndokufunga pamusoro pangu ndimene. Handaifanira kuva nechimwe chinhu here? Sezviri pachena, uku kwakanga kuri uko Satani akanga achida. Kwenguva yokutanga, ndakazvinzwa ndimene ndichikweverwa kuvashandi biyangu. Ndakafunga kuti, ‘Eya, ndichaparidzira kwavari.’ Uye ndakadaro. Asi nechomukati mangu ndaigona kunzwa kuti mwoyo wangu wakanga uri kuvamba kufuratira zvinhu zvausingafaniri. Zvakanga zvisiri zvinetso zvinobva kumwe. Ndakanga ndiri ini chaizvo. Ndaisagona kutiza hana yangu yakarovedzwa neBhaibheri. Ndakanyengetera kuna Jehovha.

Ndakanga ndichishanda nguva yakazara. Ndaifanira kurega chengeteko yezvokunyama yandakanga ndatanga. Ndaifamba maawa matatu pazuva kubva kuLong Island kuenda kuWall Street. Nguva yakawanda zvikuru! Uyewo, kubata navanhu vakawanda vokunyika pazvitima hakuna kuvandudza mugariro wangu. Ndakavamba kutaura kuvakuru nokuenda kumagungano pakupera kwamavhiki kuti vandibetsere kunangidzira ngwariro pazvinhu zvinokosha. Kwenguva yokutanga muupenyu hwangu, handina kufanira kuitira hanya pamusoro pezvinhu zvokunyama, naizvozvo neiko zvino ndingada kuparapatika zvakare? Pashure pegore rokunyengetera, ndichisanorangarira kana ndaifanira kuita chinjo, ndakaita kudaro.

Ndakatamira kunzvimbo yokugara yeBrooklyn Heights. Ndakanga ndashanyira ungano ndokuziva kuti umudzimu hwaikoko hwakanga huri chaizvo zvandaida. Naizvozvo Zvapupu zvizhinji zvakatendeka, zvaibatira nguva yakazara kwamakore akawanda zvikuru—kwakandiita ndinzwe ndakasununguka. Mukati memwedzi mitanhatu ndakanga ndagadzirira kurega basa rangu ndokupayona. Ndakaita basa renguva isina kuzara, uye muna 1984, ndakagadzwa zvakare sapiona wenguva dzose.

Mukati mamakore, Jehovha akandigovera zvikomborero zvinoshamisa, pamwe chete nezvidzidzo zvakawanda, zvakawanda zvinokosha. Ndakaedza kuramba ndine tariro nechivimbo uye kuwana chidzidzo muchinoitika chakaoma chiri chose. Hakunyadzisi kuva nezvinetso; chivi chinovapo pakusashandisa nheyo dzeBhaibheri kuzvipedza. Muno muBrooklyn, handina zvinetso zvimwe chetezvo zvandaiva nazvo mumakore angu apakuvamba muzvokwadi. Mari haisati ichirizve chinetso. Murume asingatendi haachisiri chinetso. Mwoyo wangu wakagadzirwa. Ndakakomborerwa navana vomudzimu vazhinji.

Asi nguva dzose pane zvinetso zvitsva nedenho. Muna 1987 mwanakomana wangu, Marc, akanetseka ndokutambura kuora mwoyo kwakakomba, asi Jehovha akatibetsera muna ikoko. Marc zvino ari kusvasvavirira uye ari kuita zvakanaka zvikuru muungano. Mwanasikana wangu, Andrea, akadzokera muzvokwadi ndokubhapatidzwa uye ari kurera vana vake muzvokwadi. Sezvo tiri kukurumidza kusvika dambudziko guru, ndinokarira zvinetso kupfuurira uye zvichida kuva zvakatonyanya kukura, asi Jehovha nguva dzose achavapo kuti atibetsere mumhinganidzo dzipi nedzipi kana kuti denho dzingavapo.

Zvirokwazvo, Jehovha akandibetsera kuva noupenyu hunofadza zvikuru nohunobereka zvibereko. Ndinotarira mberi kukupedzera hwasara hwahwo ndichiramba ndiri pedyo naye uye ndichiita kuda kwake.—Yakataurwa naMarlene Pavlow.

[Mashoko Omuzasi]

[Mufananidzo uri papeji 30]

Marlene Pavlow, muparidzi wenguva yakazara wamashoko akanaka oUmambo