Mazano Okuti Mhuri Ifare
Kushandisa Mari Zvakanaka
Murume anoti: “Ndinofunga kuti mudzimai wangu Laura,a anopedzera mari pazvinhu zvisingakoshi—zvinhu zvandinofunga kuti tinogona kurarama tisina. Uye anoita seasingakwanisi kuchengetedza mari! Iri rinobva raita dambudziko chairo kana pakaerekana paita zvimwe zvinoda mari. Ndaiwanzotaura kuti kana mudzimai wangu aine mari, anotoishandisa.”
Mudzimai anoti: “Zvichida handikwanisi kuchengetedza mari, asi murume wangu haazivi kuti zvinhu zvinomboita marii—zvokudya, midziyo, zvinhu zvinoshandiswa mumba—uye kazhinji ndini ndinenge ndiri pamba. Ndinoziva chatinenge tichida, uye ndinochitenga kunyange zvichizoita kuti ‘tikurukurezve’ nezvemari.”
MARI inogona kukonzera nyaya dzakaoma zvikuru kuti vakaroorana vakurukure vakadzikama. Ndokusaka kazhinji iri iyo inonyanya kuita kuti vakaroorana vakakavadzane.
Vakaroorana vasingashandisi mari zvakanaka vangashushikana mupfungwa, vanganetsana, uye kunyange kusava neukama hwakanaka naJehovha. (1 Timoti 6:9, 10) Vabereki vanotadza kugadzirisa nyaya dzemari vangamanikidzwa kushanda nguva yakawanda, votadza kuzvitsigira ivo nevana vavo mupfungwa uye mune zvokunamata. Vanoitawo kuti vana vavo vasashandisa mari zvakanaka.
Bhaibheri rinoti, “Mari inodzivirira.” (Muparidzi 7:12) Asi mari inodzivirira imba nemhuri yenyu chete kana ukadzidza kwete chete kuishandisa asiwo kutaura kwaunoita nezvayo newawakaroorana naye.b Kutaura zvazviri, pane kukonzera kukakavadzana, kukurukura nezvemari kunogona kusimbisa muchato wevakaroorana.
Kunyange zvakadaro, nei mari ichikonzera zvinetso zvakawanda mudzimba? Uye matanho api amungatora kuitira kuti pamunenge muchikurukura nezvemari muvakane pane kukakavadzana?
Zvipingamupinyi Zvacho Ndezvipi?
Kakawanda, magakava emashandisirwo emari haasi okuti pane mari here kana kuti kwete asi anokonzerwa nokusavimbana kana kuti nokutya. Somuenzaniso, murume anoda kuziva mari yose inoshandiswa nomudzimai wake chaizvoizvo anenge achireva kuti haavimbi nemashandisiro aanoita mari yemhuri. Uye mudzimai anonyunyutira murume achiti haachengetedzi mari chaizvoizvo anenge achiratidza kutyira mhuri yake mune zvemari kana zvimwe zvinhu zvinoda mari zvikaitika mune remangwana.
Vakaroorana vanosanganawo nechimwe chipingamupinyi—marererwo avakaitwa. Matthew ave akaroora kwemakore masere, anoti, “Mudzimai wangu anobva mumhuri yaishandisa mari zvakanaka. Haatyi sezvandinoita. Baba vangu vaiva chidhakwa uye vaigara fodya iri pamuromo uye vaimbova rovha kwenguva refu. Taiwanzorarama tisina zvinhu zvinokosha, uye ndakatanga kutya kuva nechikwereti. Dzimwe nguva, kutya uku kunoita kuti ndinetsane nemudzimai wangu nezvemari.” Pasinei nokuti zvinetso zvacho zvinokonzerwa nei, ungaitei kuti mari ivake imba yenyu kwete kuiputsa?
Chii chinonyanya kukosha kwauri—mari kana kuti muchato wako?
Zvinhu Zvina Zvinoita Kuti Mubudirire
Bhaibheri harisi bhuku rezvemari. Asi rine mazano akanaka angabatsira vakaroorana kuti vasave nezvinetso zvemari. Madii kuongorora mazano aro moedza kuita zvinotaurwa pasi apa?
1. Dzidzai kutaura nezvemari makadzikama.
“Vaya vanorangana vane uchenjeri.” (Zvirevo 13:10) Zvichienderana nemarererwo awakaita unganzwa usina kusununguka kubvunza vamwe, zvikurukuru wawakaroorana naye nezvemari. Kunyange zvakadaro, kuchenjera kana mukadzidza kukurukura nyaya iyi inokosha. Somuenzaniso, wadii waudza mumwe wako kuti mashandisiro aunoita mari angave akakonzerwa nemashandisiro anoita vabereki vako mari? Uyewo, edza kunzwisisa kuti mashandisiro anoita mumwe wako mari angave achikonzerwa nemarererwo aakaitwa.
Hamufaniri kumirira kuti pave nedambudziko kuti muzokurukura nezvemari. Mumwe munyori weBhaibheri akabvunza kuti: “Vanhu vaviri vangafamba pamwe chete vasina kumborangana kuti vasangane here?” (Amosi 3:3) Mashoko aya anoshanda sei? Kana mukaronga nguva yokuti muzokurukura nezvemari, kusanzwisisana uye kupopotedzana zvinoita zvishoma.
EDZAI IZVI: Rongai nguva yamunogara muchikurukura nezvemari yemhuri. Munogona kuronga kukurukura pazuva rokutanga remwedzi mumwe nomumwe kana kuti pazuva ramunosarudza vhiki imwe neimwe. Musatora nguva yakawanda muchikurukura, munogona kuita maminitsi 15 kana ari pasi. Sarudzai nguva yamunenge makadekara mose muri vaviri. Bvumiranai kuti musataura nezvemari pane dzimwe nguva, dzakadai sepakudya kana kuti pamunenge muchitandara nevana.
2. Munofanira kubvumirana kuti muchaona sei mari yamunowana.
“Pakukudzana, tungamiriranai.” (VaRoma 12:10) Kana uri iwe woga anotambira mari, unogona kuremekedza mumwe wako nokuona mari iyoyo seyemhuri kwete seyako.—1 Timoti 5:8.
Kana iwe newawakaroorana naye mose muchiwana mari, munogona kukudzana nokutaurirana mari yamunowana uye zvamunotenga uye zvinhu zvikuru zvinofanira kubhadharwa. Kana ukavanzira mumwe wako chimwe chezvinhu izvi, ungaita kuti musavimbana uye unogona kukanganisa imba yenyu. Haufaniri hako kubvunza mumwe wako pose paunenge uchida kushandisa kunyange kamari kadiki. Asi kana mukakurukura pamunotenga zvinhu zvinoda mari yakawanda, unoratidza kuti unokoshesa pfungwa dzemumwe wako.
EDZAI IZVI: Bvumiranai kuti mumwe nemumwe angashandisa marii asingabvunzi mumwe, ingava $20, $200, kana imwewo nhamba. Nguva dzose bvunza mumwe wako kana uchida kushandisa mari inopfuura ipapo.
3. Nyorai pasi zvamakaronga.
“Kana ukaronga uye ukashanda nesimba, uchawana zvakawanda.” (Zvirevo 21:5, Contemporary English Version) Imwe nzira yokurongera remangwana zvichiita kuti musatambisa simba renyu ndeyokuronga bhajeti yemhuri. Nina, ave akaroorwa kwemakore mashanu, anoti: “Kuona mari yamunotambira neyamunoshandisa yakanyorwa pasi kunoita kuti munyatsoona kuti zvinhu zvakamira sei. Munenge mava kuona zvinhu sezvazviri.”
Kubhajeta kwamunoita hakufaniri kunge kuine twakawanda-wanda. Darren, ave akaroora kwemakore 26 uye ane vanakomana vaviri, anoti: “Pakutanga taishandisa mahamvuropu pakushandisa mari yedu. Taiisa mari yataishandisa pavhiki mumahamvuropu akasiyana-siyana. Somuenzaniso, taiva nemahamvuropu okuchengetera mari yezvokudya, yokuzvivaraidza, uye kunyange yokugerwa musoro. Imwe payaitadza kukwana, taikwereta kubva mune imwe hamvuropu asi nguva dzose taiva nechokwadi chokuti tinodzorera mari yacho muhamvuropu yacho nokukurumidza.” Kana musingawanzobhadhari mabhiri enyu nemari chaiyo, muchiita kuti bhengi rizokubhadharirai richitora pamari yamuinayo muakaundi yenyu, zvinokosha zvikuru kuti muzvinyore pasi uye murambe muchiongorora mari yamunenge mashandisa.
EDZAI IZVI: Nyorai pasi mari yose yezvinhu zvamunoziva kuti munogara muchizvibhadhara. Bvumiranai kuti pamari yamunowana munofanira kuchengeta yakawanda sei. Madaro nyorai pasi zvinhu zvinogara zvichichinja mitengo zvakadai sezvokudya, magetsi uye mabhiri efoni. Madaro garai muchiongorora mari chaiyo yamunoshandisa kwemwedzi inoverengeka. Kana zvichiita, chinjai mararamiro enyu kuitira kuti musapinda muchikwereti.
4. Bvumiranai mabasa amuchapanana.
“Vanhu vaviri vari nani pane mumwe chete nokuti vanhu vaviri vanowana mubayiro uri nani pakuzvinetsa kwavo nokushanda kwavo.” (Muparidzi 4:9, 10; Bhaibheri Rinoera) Mune dzimwe mhuri, baba ndivo vanotarisira nyaya dzemari. Mune dzimwewo, mudzimai ndiye anoita basa iri. (Zvirevo 31:10-28) Zvisinei, sarudzai kuita basa iri mose. Mario uyo ave akaroorana nomudzimai wake kwemakore 21 anoti: “Mudzimai wangu ndiye anotarisira mari yokubhadhara zvikwereti neimwe yatinoshandisa muzvinhu zviduku. Ini ndinotarisira zvemitero, makondirakiti, uye rendi. Tinoudzana zvose zvatinenge taita uye tinoshanda tose.” Chero nzira yamunoshandisa, chikuru ndechokuti muite zvinhu pamwe chete.
EDZAI IZVI: Muchifungawo zvinogona mumwe nezvaasingagoni, kurukurai mabasa amuchapanana. Ongororai zvakare mabasa amakapanana aya pashure pemwedzi inoverengeka. Gadzirisai zvinoda kugadziriswa. Kuti uone kukosha kwebasa rinenge richiitwa nemumwe wako, zvakadai sokubhadhara zvikwereti kana kuti kutenga zvamunoda kushandisa, nguva nenguva mungachinjana mabasa.
Zvinofanira Kuratidzwa Pamunokurukura Zvemari
Kukurukura kwamunoita zvemari hakufaniri kukanganisa rudo rwenyu. Leah, ave akaroorwa kwemakore mashanu, akaona kuti izvi ndezvechokwadi. Anoti: “Ini nomurume wangu takadzidza kukurukura tichibudirana pachena uye nokuvimbika panyaya dzemari. Zvakaguma zvaitika ndezvokuti iye zvino tava kushanda pamwe chete, uye rudo rwedu rwawedzera.”
Vakaroorana pavanokurukura vose kuti vanoda kushandisa mari yavo sei, vanoudzana zvavanotarisira, zvavanoshuva uye vanoratidza kuti vakazvipira kumuchato wavo. Pavanobvunzana vasati vatenga zvinhu zvikuru, vanoratidza kuremekedzana pamanzwiro avo nepfungwa. Pavanopanana rusununguko rwokuti vashandise imwe mari vasina kubvunzana, zvinoratidza kuti vanovimbana. Izvi ndizvo zvinodiwa kuti pave noukama hwechokwadi hune rudo. Chokwadi ukama hwakadaro hunokosha kupfuura mari, saka kuitisiranei nharo nenyaya dzemari?
a Mazita akachinjwa.
b Bhaibheri rinoti “murume ndiye musoro womudzimai,” saka ndiye ane basa guru rokuona kuti mari yemhuri ichashandiswa sei uye anosungirwa kubata mudzimai wake nerudo, kwete noudyire.—VaEfeso 5:23, 25.
ZVIBVUNZE KUTI . . .
Ini nomumwe wangu takapedzisira rini kutaura zvemari takadzikama?
Ndingataurei uye ndingaitei kuratidza kuti ndinokoshesa rubatsiro rwemari rwunopa mumwe wangu kumhuri?