Our Faith-testing Tragedy
HE WAS our firstborn. We named him Micah Nathanael, not only because of the ageless beauty of the names, but also because of their meanings. Micah means “who is like Jehovah?” and Nathanael means “given of God.”
We had waited with such anticipation. And now we were actually able to hold him in our arms and look into his deep-blue eyes. On leaving the hospital the Sunday night that he was born, I could feel the pride that all new fathers must feel. I had no hint of the great trial just ahead.
Early Monday afternoon I was startled by a phone call from my wife. Could I please come to the hospital right away? “Sure, but is everything all right?” She replied “Yes,” but her voice didn’t sound convincing.
Once there, immediately I could see from my wife’s face that something was dreadfully wrong. Holding back tears, she told me that Micah had a temperature of 103 degrees Fahrenheit (39.4 degrees Celsius). I comforted her by telling her that everything would be fine. Still, she could sense my worry.
I went from her room to the nursery to see Micah. But what was happening? His body lay limp! He was not breathing! Our doctor was working frantically over Micah, while the head nurse was scurrying about gathering equipment. A loudspeaker was calling for emergency help from others.
A nurse led me back to my wife to wait out the crisis. At last, we learned that Micah was alive. When his condition stabilized (about an hour later), he was transferred to the intensive-care nursery of a nearby university’s hospital. Micah had looked so healthy. Yet, now he was so sick. We kept asking ourselves, “Why?”
The first news that we received was not very good. He was hemorrhaging under his skull and this bleeding was causing periodic convulsions and breathing failure. It seems that during a stressful moment in delivery a baby is susceptible to rupturing a blood vessel under the skull. Although such an occurrence is rare, Micah had experienced this. We were reassured that he was receiving treatment and that further tests were being made. More shocking information would come later.
About 9 p.m. we received word that Micah had meningitis, which is a disease of the brain and spinal column. Also, his red blood cell count was dangerously low. The doctors wanted to administer blood transfusions. Being Jehovah’s Witnesses, my wife and I have deep respect for God’s law regarding blood. (Acts 15:19, 20, 28, 29) Earlier we had informed the university’s doctors of our position—no blood transfusions. They assured us that our beliefs would be respected.
But now they wanted permission to give Micah blood. My wife and I said No again and again. Finally, they said they would respect our belief and use an alternative procedure. Yet, they warned that should Micah’s blood condition worsen, they would seek a court order to administer blood. As we had been doing all day long, we continued praying to Jehovah God for guidance and strength.
Tuesday morning our doctor informed us that the infant mortality rate for newborn babies with meningitis is about 90 percent. We were told that, even if Micah lived, there would be some mental retardation. We began trying to prepare ourselves for his mental impairment or death.
From Tuesday through Thursday we waited. The hemorrhaging had been stopped, but repeated spinal taps continued to show meningitis bacteria in the spinal fluid. These bacteria would continue to destroy brain cells as long as they were present.
Although the doctors were not very optimistic about Micah’s recovery, they did note that his red cell count had returned to normal—and without blood transfusion. For this my wife and I were grateful. But what continued to bother us was, “How did Micah get meningitis?”
It was explained to us that during the last few days of pregnancy my wife must have developed a pinhole leak in the watery sac that surrounds the baby in the womb. There are bacteria in the birth canal of each mother, just as there are many germs all over everyone’s body. In extremely rare cases, when a leak occurs, the bacteria work their way up inside the sac, infecting the baby. We were assured that because the infection was bacterial and not viral my wife was not infected. She could continue having children with little chance of this ever happening again. But we kept praying for Micah.
Later Thursday afternoon the doctors told us that a brain scan showed that Micah had suffered severe brain damage. They requested that we meet with them the next afternoon to “discuss Micah’s future.” My wife and I knew what this meant. Micah was going to die.
It was no small shock. We kept feeling that we were going through our ‘greatest tribulation.’ All of it seemed unreal—like something one would see on television. Throughout the week we had periodically given ourselves to weeping. We had no appetite.
Friday afternoon we went to the hospital determined to let Micah die with dignity, if death was inevitable. At the meeting, we were told that two EEG (electroencephalogram) tests had been given our baby. They had shown total brain damage—no activity. We agreed to the removing of Micah from the respirator. Once this was done, he never drew another breath. He had lived only five days.
With Micah’s death, it seemed our tears were over. We had wept for his suffering, but now he would suffer no more. We had also wept for ourselves, but now tears would not bring him back. Death was a release—for Micah and for us.
Throughout the faith-testing ordeal our friends and relatives actually claimed to be strengthened by watching us. Yet, it was difficult to communicate to others the extent of our pain and, at the same time, the degree of comfort from Jehovah’s holy spirit. Our strength came from Jehovah—every last ounce of it!
In talking to others about God’s kingdom, my wife and I had spoken many times about the resurrection hope for the dead and the prospect of everlasting life in the coming new system of things. How often we had quoted Jesus! He said: “Do not marvel at this, because the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out.”—John 5:28, 29; Rev. 21:1-4.
Throughout Micah’s illness we were clearly confronted with a choice: Either manifest faith in these beliefs or forsake them all. It was our complete faith in Micah’s future resurrection that sustained us. This loving provision from Jehovah God, the Creator, is what gives us hope of seeing our little boy again—in a system free of sickness, suffering and death.—Contributed.