Learning What Love Really Is
As related by a family man in Japan
THE circumstances of my youth stifled the development of intense love for other people. My father died when I was only two months old. Mother entered another household in common-law marriage but turned me over to others for upbringing. As a lad of 10 years I was returned to my mother, but I never experienced the warmth of family life. Mother was addicted to gambling, and she took me along to the gambling dens.
By the time I got married at 25 years of age, I too was a gambling addict. Every day followed the same pattern. During the day I engaged in sales activity, which gave me opportunity to go to horse races and boat races. Nights were set aside for Mah-Jongg (a form of gambling), and I would get home at around midnight. Gambling led me into serious trouble, cost me my job and put a heavy financial burden on both my family and that of my wife.
Time after time I tried to quit but failed. I felt it was fate or something I had inherited from my mother. I became terrified that all my life I would not be able to stop gambling. Depressed about my future, I decided to commit suicide. But when I climbed to the roof of a building, the faces of my two sons flashed into my mind and I could not jump.
Though married, I did not know that love is what binds a family together, that it makes it a mutually healthy and joyful arrangement. Never having received such love from my father and mother, I did not really know what it was. So I could not understand my wife’s sympathy because of my upbringing—her desire to make a warm family with me and her endurance even though I kept betraying her confidence. In time, however, I was to come to appreciate not just the love of my wife but also a much greater love.
Recognizing the danger of my working away from home, my wife strongly urged me to start a business in our house. So I got a quick loan and remodeled our house in order to open a Mah-Jongg business. I liked Mah-Jongg and put my energy into the business. It flourished and I was able to make steady payments on the loan. But my wife was very unhappy because of family problems. On top of that, my wife, at times hysterical, felt that I must be watched so I wouldn’t fall back into my former habits. Living with such a situation, I became utterly worn out mentally and physically.
Amid all this family tension, one day my wife picked at random from the shelf a book entitled “Did Man Get Here by Evolution or by Creation?” I had obtained it from one of Jehovah’s Witnesses about six years earlier. Now, she inclined toward a materialistic, Marx-and-Lenin philosophy and was an out-and-out atheist. But as she read the book her heart was moved. She could see that there was no basis for denying the existence of an almighty and wise Creator. She felt a vague form of fear. Providentially, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses called at our home shortly afterward and a regular Bible study was started. They used the book “The Truth That Leads to Eternal Life,” beginning with the chapter entitled “Building a Happy Family Life.” When my wife told me her impressions, I decided that I too wanted to study.
The more I read the Bible the more deeply I was convinced that it is the truth. Lethargic though I was, I was impressed with the words of Hebrews 4:12: “The word of God is alive and exerts power and is sharper than any two-edged sword.” As a result, I put forth an effort not to tell lies, even in little things. Meekly I accepted the counsel: “Do not swear at all . . . Just let your word Yes mean Yes, your No, No.” (Matt. 5:34, 37) My wife’s trust was quickly restored and joyfully she obeyed me. Two months after starting to study the Bible I quit smoking and gambling. I was able to make a clean break. It was no longer necessary for anyone to keep vigil over me. Jehovah heard my fervent prayers and gave me the strength to follow through.
Now, along with my wife and our two sons, I know what love is, and we have a happy household. We have come to know the surpassing love shown by Jehovah God and Jesus Christ, and we are convinced that real joy comes from responding to it.