A Reader’s Response to an “Awake!” Article
Living With DOWN’S SYNDROME
THE August 8, 1989, issue of Awake! magazine contained an article about a girl named Suzy who was born with Down’s syndrome. The article described the great love, effort, and patience shown to Suzy by her parents, sister, and brother. Responding to that article, a woman in Spokane, Washington, wrote the following letter to Awake!:
“After reading the August 8th Awake!, I just had to write to you. I want to thank you for having published the article about little Suzy. It is a strange feeling that I have because I am a ‘parent’ to my ‘infant’ mother, so I felt such a kinship to Suzy’s mother. I’d like for all of you to know of another of the many things that some of us are faced with today, and how encouraged we are by the work you are doing in helping us to cope.
“I was so deeply touched by little Suzy with Down’s syndrome that I cried. I’ve had much empathy for such children and parents, as I have known several. As I read about Suzy’s difficulty in living, I wept for my mother. I myself am an elderly lady in my 70’s, and I have seen my mother’s life turn full circle now.
“I remember her first as a pretty, caring, loved, and vivacious young person. She is now in her 90’s. From a series of strokes, I’ve watched her deteriorate physically into a pitifully contorted body, yet with her vital functions operating nearly normal.
“Her first notable stroke brought an inability to balance her checkbook, make out grocery lists, etc. In one year’s time, this condition had deteriorated into her inability even to warm up food for a snack or small meal.
“A year and a half later, another major stroke took her mobility, dexterity, speech, and she became incontinent. She had reached the ‘infant’ stage of life a second time, and I saw her as such. She has to be hand-fed, diapered like a baby, and lifted from bed to wheelchair.
“Mother couldn’t talk to us to tell us what she was thinking, feeling, what she wanted or desired. But we learned to communicate with eyes, smiles, and tears! Her face would literally light up when I’d tell her something of interest that I had heard at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses that I go to, or if some of the folks there had sent her a message, or perhaps something I had read of special interest in Awake! or The Watchtower.
“When I’d leave her, usually tears would fill her eyes, and she would lightly kiss my cheek good-bye. However, when after a visit I’d say, ‘Mama, it’s seven o’clock, and I will have to go to the meeting at the Kingdom Hall,’ she would smile and nod her head, ‘yes,’ and give me a solid kiss. She would then watch me as I walked to the door and would smilingly wiggle her fingers good-bye the way one of her great-granddaughters had taught her.
“Halloween was to come shortly after she entered the convalescent center. I found her in the recreation room as I came to visit one day. Wheelchairs were pushed up, four to each long table, and spread out upon them was all the material needed to make Halloween items. There sat Mama with a face like a four-year-old that without words was saying: ‘I don’t want to do that, and I’m not going to do that!’
“I walked up behind her and said: ‘Hello, Mama,’ and as I leaned down and kissed her on the cheek, I giggled (to hide my tears) and whispered in her ear: ‘They’ve got you in here to make Halloween stuff.’ Turning her head to look up at me, she had the most impish twinkle in her eyes, smiling. Then she screwed her entire face into an expression of complete disdain! And so it was as each holiday came. She did not believe in those holidays, with their pagan backgrounds, and here she was, in her limited condition, holding to her beliefs.
“Eight months ago, another major stroke hit, putting her into a coma and beginning a kidney shutdown. Yet, all other vital functions were good. After five days, her doctor couldn’t believe the reversal she had made. At first, she did not recognize any of us. But now, at times, she will respond when we kiss her. We will feel her lightly pressing her lips to our cheeks.
“These last eight months my mother has been like a newborn baby, a living and breathing human but incapable of surviving on her own. An infant will at times refuse to eat, but half an hour later will, by its cries, signal that it is hungry or needs attention. Mother has no way of letting us know what she wants or needs. The nurses and family members have had to learn why at times she will hold food in her mouth for a length of time but not swallow. With the doctor’s help, we have learned that this can be caused by her waiting for a belch to come up, because from the partial paralysis she suffers, her muscles will not work sometimes. If she hurries and swallows before it feels right, she will choke.
“In giving good care to an infant (someone like Suzy or my mother) one has to educate oneself. How fortunate Suzy was to have such a caring and loving family! We feel fortunate to have been reared by parents we have enjoyed. When we were growing up, Mama would read articles to us from Watch Tower publications on health tips and also many other topics of family interest. She encouraged me to use such information to write themes and give talks in school.
“So now we children are the parent, and Mother is the child. Why did I cry when I read of Suzy? Why have I reminisced about my elderly mother in relation to little Suzy? I guess it is because I felt a kinship with her mother. Also, I felt a sudden gush of deep love and appreciation for our heavenly Father, Jehovah God, who through his love for all of us has made a provision that sweet little Suzy and our mother will some day, in God’s new world on a paradise earth, be perfect as he purposed mankind to be.—Matthew 6:9, 10; Revelation 21:4, 5.
“I hope that some day, in the Paradise to come, our two families can meet and be together with others like us. Perhaps we can then shed tears of happiness, along with a lot of joy and laughter, giving thanks and praise to our Creator, Jehovah, and his Son, Jesus Christ, our Redeemer.”—Contributed.