From Our Readers

Infidelity Thank you for the April 22, 1999, Awake! series, “When a Mate Is Unfaithful.” I was the victim of infidelity. Although I have been divorced for three years now, the pain is still strong. The articles helped me to recognize that I need to let go, pick up the pieces, and move on with my life.

V. B., Trinidad

I have researched this subject before, but it has never been explained so well. From the moment I first heard the Bible’s message, I understood that it was the truth. Now Jehovah has given me another reason to believe it.

G. B., Italy

My divorce caused me to suffer from severe depression, low self-esteem, and a never-ending list of health problems. Although the suffering continues, I am so comforted by my faith in Jehovah’s promises and the love and emotional support from my congregation!

A. B., Canada

Nine months after separating from my husband, I am still coping with the pain of living alone. How do I walk down the street without someone to hold my hand? Who will sit beside me at Christian meetings? Who will accompany me to the doctor? Thank you for reminding me that Jehovah does not abandon innocent mates.

E. S., Brazil

The box “Who Is Responsible?” was of much comfort to me. I opted for a divorce after my husband’s infidelity. Like Job, I sometimes wanted to die. (Job 17:11-13) But the support of family members and Christian brothers and sisters has sustained me.

M. O., Argentina

I did not read the series—I devoured it! I have been through a divorce, and these articles discussed all the questions and anxieties that it aroused. Thank you for caring for us.

E. L., France

I was seven years old when my father abandoned our family. It was a harsh blow. Some years later, Father asked us to accept him back again. My brothers and I were firmly against the idea, but Mother said yes. After reading your articles, I am beginning to understand why she made that difficult decision.

A. A., Brazil

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the series! It is comforting to know that one’s feelings and emotions are similar to those of others who face this same situation. However, you said: “Possibly you have not given as much love, tender affection, commendation, and honor as your spouse needed.” This statement is hurtful to those of us who have tried to make a troubled marriage work. When a person is contemplating adultery, he can become very obnoxious, and it is difficult to be affectionate with such a person.

L. W., United States

We are sorry if these comments caused pain to any of our readers. But it was not our intent to imply that an adulterer can blame his misconduct on his mate. In the box “Who Is Responsible?” we stressed that the adulterer is responsible for his wrongdoing, regardless of “an innocent mate’s imperfections.” The statement in question was part of a discussion of reconciliation. We were simply stressing the need for good communication, encouraging reconciling couples to identify problem areas in their marriage that might need urgent attention. There may also be hidden resentment that needs to be brought out into the open. Usually, such a discussion results in both mates’ admitting to some shortcomings. After all, “we all stumble many times.” (James 3:2) And while such discussions are often very painful, they are, as our article stated, “an important part of the process of restoring trust.”—ED.