Conversational Manner

PEOPLE generally feel relaxed when they are conversing with friends. Their expressions are spontaneous. Some individuals are animated; others are more reserved. Nevertheless, the naturalness of such speech is appealing.

When approaching a stranger, however, it is not appropriate to speak in a manner that is overly familiar or too casual. In fact, in some cultures all conversations with strangers begin in a very formal manner. After due respect has been shown, then, with discernment it may be desirable to use less formal language and a more conversational manner.

When you speak from the platform, you must also exercise care. A manner that is too casual detracts from the dignity of a Christian meeting and from the seriousness of what is stated. In some languages, certain expressions are required when addressing an older person, a teacher, an official, or a parent. (Notice the terms used at Acts 7:2 and 13:16.) Different expressions are used when addressing a marriage mate or a close friend. While our manner of speech on the platform should not be needlessly formal, it should be respectful.

There are, however, factors that may cause a person’s delivery to sound unnecessarily stiff or formal. One of these is sentence structure, or phrasing. A problem arises when a speaker tries to repeat expressions exactly as they appear in print. The written word is usually quite different from the spoken word. True, research in preparation for a talk is usually done using published material. Possibly a printed outline provides the basis for the talk. But if you express thoughts just the way they appear in print or read them directly from a published outline during your talk, it is not likely that your speech will sound like conversation. To maintain a conversational style, express thoughts in your own words and avoid complicated sentence structure.

Another factor is variation in tempo. Speech that is rather stiff and formal often involves a flow of words that are too evenly spaced and a pace that is too constant. In normal conversation, there are changes of pace and frequent pauses of varying lengths.

When you speak to a large audience, of course, you should couple the conversational style of speech with increased volume, intensity, and enthusiasm so as to hold their attention.

In order to employ a conversational manner that is appropriate for the ministry, you need to make it a habit to speak well every day. This does not mean that you must be highly educated. But it is good to cultivate speech habits that will cause others to listen with respect to what you say. With that in mind, consider whether you need to work on the following points in your daily conversation.

1. Avoid expressions that clash with good grammar or that tend to identify you with people whose way of life defies godly standards. In harmony with the counsel at Colossians 3:8, shun language that is crude or vulgar. On the other hand, colloquial speech is not objectionable. Colloquialisms, or everyday expressions, are informal, but they conform to accepted standards of speech.

2. Avoid constant repetition of the same expressions and phrases to convey every different thought that you might have. Learn to use words that clearly express what you mean.

3. Avoid needless regressions by getting clearly in mind what you want to say; then start to speak.

4. Avoid burying good thoughts in too many words. Make it a practice to state clearly in a simple sentence the point that needs to be remembered.

5. Speak in a manner that shows respect for others.