Well, Where Should a Man Want to Live?

● The following appeared in the column “Try and Stop Me” by Bennett Cerf in the Lynn (Massachusetts) Telegram-News, April 25, 1951: “‘All those who want to go to heaven will kindly rise,’ said the minister of a smallish Maine congregation—possibly to make sure everybody was awake. All but one man in a pew near the rear rose promptly. ‘Mm-m-m,’ mused the minister. ‘Now anybody who wants to go to Hades will please stand up.’ The congregation tittered and stole a look at the member who had remained seated earlier. Again he didn’t move. The minister addressed him directly. ‘Am I to understand, Brother Caldwell, that you want to go neither to heaven nor the other place?’ ‘That’s it exactly,’ was the reply. ‘I like it right here.’”