“An Answer to My Prayer”

Readers Respond to Series on Alcoholism

IT IS an expression that we have heard from readers from all over the world: “Jehovah has answered my prayers.” By this, readers referred to the series of articles that appeared in our May 22, 1992, issue entitled “Help for Alcoholics and Their Families.”

These Bible-​based articles showed how alcoholism can engulf the entire family. Marriage mates and children often join the alcoholic in denying that he really has a drinking problem. They and others may use ineffective methods to try to change the alcoholic​—but may only succeed in perpetuating his addiction. Family members must therefore understand the nature of alcoholism, and specific suggestions were given to help them break its destructive grip. Information was also directed toward adult children of alcoholics to help them identify​—and heal—​their emotional wounds. Little wonder, then, that these articles have triggered a dramatic response from our readers!

One woman wrote: “When I saw the front cover, chills ran through me. This past year and a half, I have been very ill. In December, I began having severe panic attacks and bouts of major depression. I was raised by an alcoholic father but felt it was foolish to bring up the past. When I received your magazine, I read it and read it again and again. For the first time, I understood myself.”

Dozens of readers have expressed similar sentiments. One 16-​year-​old with an alcoholic father called the articles the beginning of her healing process. Says another reader: “I have been reading Awake! since 1969, and never has the information had such a profound effect on me. After years of feeling like a failure, I felt I had failed even Jehovah. What was wrong with me? I had married into the same kind of pain and shame I thought I had left and brought five children into an alcoholic environment. I could not give them the emotional security they needed. The May 22 Awake! has opened the way for me! Thanks to Jehovah for helping me understand my handicap.”

Not surprisingly, the articles helped many readers spiritually. “For a long time, I have suffered because of my inability to apply Bible principles,” admits one woman from Japan. “I prayed to God to help me change my personality. A few days later, I received this magazine. It taught me the reasons for my behavior and gave me the courage to try to put things right.”

The articles helped some readers break through walls of denial. “I too am a victim of an alcoholic father,” says one Canadian woman. “But it was only after reading your article that it hit me like a ton of bricks what my problem was. I’ve grown up denying that there ever was a problem at home. Today I took a step toward healing by talking to a mature Christian sister. I was astounded to hear that her father too was an alcoholic.”

For others, the material dispelled feelings of isolation. “It was therapeutic for me to read these articles,” said one reader, “because I now feel there are Christian brothers and sisters of mine who share my feelings and who understand.”

Many readers shed tears as they read the articles. “As soon as I saw the title, I began to cry,” said one woman. “My father is an alcoholic, as was my husband. I hadn’t realized how large a part alcoholism played in ruining my childhood. It destroyed my marriage, and it nearly destroyed me. I’m crying because flickers of light have been shed on questions I have had all my life, such as, ‘Why do I always feel so worthless? Why am I so afraid to trust? What is this emptiness inside of me?’”

Others felt that the articles answered other nagging questions. One young man from Finland said: “I used to wonder about the feelings inside of me, as I was incapable of trusting people or showing warm feelings.” “The information was just what I needed,” agreed one woman. “Fellow Christians often commend us for setting a fine example as a family. Even our neighbors compliment us. Yet, with all this success, I have many times felt that, deep inside, there was something wrong with me. At times I struggled with feelings of guilt and low self-​esteem, but I could never understand why. The articles have helped me to view many things in a more balanced way. My wounds have begun to heal.”

Adult children of alcoholic parents are often afflicted with guilt feelings. Note, though, what one reader from Japan wrote: “When my drunken father would beat up my mother, I would suffer mental stress and shock. I used to become nauseated and even vomit! He would say, ‘If you’ll quit the Bible, I’ll quit drinking.’ However, this article taught me that alcoholics try to dump the responsibility for their drinking on others and that we should not fall for it! I feel as if I have been set free.” From Brazil a reader wrote: “When my father drinks, he always blames us. Many times I have felt it was my fault. The articles made me see that it was neither my mother’s fault nor mine.”

Loving Christian elders can be an important avenue of help. (Isaiah 32:2) The articles on alcoholism were designed to help congregation overseers deal with such problems effectively. (Isaiah 50:4) One Christian woman recalls: “I have been on antidepressants for years; my doctor has begged me to seek professional counseling. But I don’t feel comfortable talking to a stranger about my problems. I called the elders, and by talking with them, along with my husband, I was able to release much of my fear, anger, frustration, and feelings of abandonment.”

Oftentimes professional help is needed to resolve the issues created by alcoholism. While the articles did not recommend any particular form of therapy, many readers related their personal experiences. “My husband entered an alcoholic treatment program,” relates one woman. “It was only the beginning of a three-​year struggle for both of us. We began intense weekly therapy. There was no way we could have groped our way out of such emotional darkness on our own.” A German woman who works in a clinic for addictive disorders adds: “Many thanks for pointing out that persons who face up to problems and seek help are the strong ones​—not those who suppress or trivialize matters. You showed clearly that a person does not lose face by seeking treatment.”

While it is gratifying to observe this fine response to the articles, we well know that healing the emotional scars of alcoholism is a long and often difficult process. Our prayers are with those who, with the help of Jehovah God, are dealing with these serious issues. One reader said: “I grew up with an alcoholic father. Even though I am happily serving Jehovah, emotional scars are still evident. With Jehovah’s help, I have recovered to a great extent, but I agree that total healing will come only in Jehovah’s new world.”​—Isaiah 65:17.