3:4

presiding over: Or “managing.”​—See study note on Ro 12:8.

presiding over his own household in a fine manner: The meaning of the phrase “presiding over,” or “managing,” is clarified by verse 5. There Paul likens the way a husband is to preside over his family to the way an overseer is to “care for the congregation of God.” (1Ti 3:5) According to one reference work, the verb rendered “care for” in that verse “implies both leadership (guidance) and caring concern.” So the context shows that a husband and father is to be, not a harsh ruler or a dictator, but a man who lovingly cares for his family.​—See study note on 1Ti 3:5.

having his children in subjection with all seriousness: The phrase “with all seriousness” seems to refer to “his children” and not, as some suggest, to the father. Christian children can be “in subjection with all seriousness” by being obedient, respectful, and well-behaved. They act in a way that is appropriate to their age and circumstances. The Bible shows that it is natural for children to laugh and to play. (Lu 7:32; compare Ec 3:4; Isa 11:8.) At 1Co 13:11, Paul acknowledges that when he was a child, he spoke, thought, and reasoned “as a child.” So he is not suggesting that children should be expected to reason or behave as if they were adults.