Hard Realities Faced by Working Women

THE high cost of living has changed the way of life of millions of women. There are things that the family may need but cannot afford, yes, and many more that they want. When the income of the family head no longer supports the lifestyle to which they have been accustomed, a choice must be made​—either increasing their income by having more family members work, or accepting a lower standard of living.

Over a meal of leftovers the wife may raise the subject: “Dear, why don’t I try to get a job? Mother said she would help with the children.”

From Great Britain to South Korea, all around the world, people are feeling an economic squeeze. As one source put it, “The most prominent feature of the world economy during 1979 was an acceleration in inflation.” And the cost of living did not improve in 1980.

Women Go to Work

In the United States millions of housewives have joined the labor force in the past decade​—an influx that has been called unprecedented. More American women are working now than at any time in the nation’s history​—51 percent of all women aged 16 or over! But this trend is by no means limited to the United States. In Sweden 60 percent of all women with children have jobs, an even higher figure than in the U.S. Women today make up one third of the world’s paid labor force.

Jobs are generally becoming more available to women. In many countries, especially developing countries, large corporations, “in search of cheap and abundant labor, invariably turn to women. In Singapore, for instance, the percentage of women working in export industries . . . increased by 118 percent, while the percentage of male workers in these industries increased by only 36 percent,” during the same period of time.​—World Press Review, June 1980.

Should I Go to Work?

If you are a woman, likely you are either presently working outside your home or could find work if you wanted to. Although you will probably not be as well paid as your husband or your father, nevertheless you may feel that taking on a job in these inflationary times is the only thing that will save the family budget.

It would be unwise and unfair to assert that women, even wives and mothers, should not work under any circumstances. But it is equally unwise to look for a job without a realistic idea of what it will cost you to work. Only by comparing the benefits of your job, or prospective job, with its costs can you accurately gauge its real worth to you. While conditions vary from country to country, you may well find it worth while to consider some of the following factors if you are a woman thinking about getting a job.

Financial Costs

Suppose that a married woman with a preschool-age child is offered a job that pays $15,000 a year. How much of that money will she really bring home? Half? A third? In many countries the answer could well be one fifth!

Hard to believe? Look at the financial records of one such working wife and mother, as reported by the publishers of Changing Times magazine and as shown here under the heading “It Costs Money to Work.”

If you are a working woman, why not take a few minutes and make a list of where your money is going? Take your daily expenses, such as bus fare and lunch at work, and multiply them by 250 if you work five days a week, or by 300 if you work six days. Does your work require you to own and maintain a car that would not otherwise be needed? Figure that in. Do you need special clothes for the office? Child care? The total cost of your work may surprise you.

As you can see, the largest single expense for this woman was taxation. Of course, taxes in your country may not be as high as they are in the United States. But if you live in Europe, quite likely they are even higher. In Sweden, for example, taxes take 60 percent of total production. Notice, too, the extra travel and clothing expense this woman incurred because of her job. Such expenses are quite common.

The family of this working woman should not consider even her net income of $3,037 to be all gain. It should be balanced against the loss to the family of her services as a full-time wife and homemaker. How much are those services worth? More than many women realize!

“You Pay with Your Pride”

A study showed that in 1972 it would cost $6,417 to hire someone for a year to do all the things around the house done by an average 30-year-old housewife. In 1980 dollars, that would be about $12,000. Of course, a working wife still does many things at home, but she certainly doesn’t have the time or energy to do what she formerly did.

“You just can’t give 100 percent at work and then keep house the way you used to,” said one working mother. “Even if your husband is very helpful, as mine is, you still can’t avoid losing some of the quality of your housekeeping. You pay with your pride.” While it would be difficult to put a monetary value on harried housekeeping, there is little doubt that it affects the family’s quality of life.

Maturity and communication are especially needed when both husband and wife have jobs outside the home. For example, family unity may suffer if the husband feels that his position as head of the family is threatened by his wife’s income, especially if the wife earns as much money as he does, or more. This situation isn’t helped when the wife takes the position that “I earned this money myself, and I’ll spend it as I see fit.”

The marriage may also suffer if the wife looks upon her job primarily as an escape from the “boredom” of the home. Without realizing it, she may pour her energies into her job to the extent that her housekeeping suffers and the husband objects. On the other hand, the husband may fail to appreciate that his wife needs more help around the house now that she is working. Communication is important on both sides. The problem is that communication may suffer when both parties are exhausted after a hard day’s work, followed by the “overtime” of necessary housework.

It is helpful if both husband and wife agree beforehand on just why the wife is working, and what will be done with the money she makes. The agreement may be flexible, and subject to review, but it is a valuable safeguard against later misunderstandings.

Emotional Costs

“I have a problem at work with men who make suggestive remarks,” complained one working mother. “It’s the sort of thing that can send you home in a rotten mood.” Many working women echo this complaint. “It’s a constant battle,” said a young woman who works in a bank. “These guys will do almost anything to break down my resistance. It ranges from inviting me out to lunch to asking me to run away to Florida with them. What bothers me most is that it seems to be getting worse.”

Although women’s groups are winning legal battles against such behavior, “no one believes that legalities will eliminate sexual harassment,” as Newsweek magazine pointed out recently. The emotional cost can be severe. “In one study, women who felt sexually harassed reported suffering from headaches, nausea, and sleeplessness.” This is a cost that must be weighed, even when a woman works in a “nice location​—such as a bank.

New mothers who return to work find themselves paying an unexpected emotional cost. “I naively thought it would be easy to go back,” said Margaret, who returned to work only five weeks after the birth of her son. “I was all primed to return, and then Justin started smiling for the first time​—that was when he was a month old—​and all of a sudden motherhood seemed so marvelous that all I could think was: ‘I can’t go back and miss all these fantastic subtle things that are happening to him. . . . I can’t go back because I might damage him.’ Well, I did go back, and it was agony.”

Costs to Children

Sarah, a young mother of two, quit work after the birth of her second child. “I quit for the kids,” she says. “I feel very strongly that a mother should spend as much time as possible with her own children. I don’t want to jeopardize the unity of my family for an extra dollar.”

Asked if she felt that not working had made a difference in her family life, she replied emphatically: “I’ve been able to see a big difference in my kids since I quit working. They are much more open with me. We communicate better. When I was working I could see my daughter drifting away from me. What should you expect? She was spending all day at her grandmother’s house. Now I can see a real difference between my kids and the children of working mothers I know.”

Of course, adjustments had to be made when this working mother quit working. “We had to cut down on some things,” she admits. “My big weakness is clothes and I’ve had to learn to wait for sales instead of just buying something when I feel like it. My husband takes his lunch to work in a bag instead of eating out now, and that helps too.”

True, not all working mothers can afford to quit working and spend more time with their children. In some cases economic fluctuations have cost the husband his job, and the wife’s job is the family’s sole income. With the rising divorce rate in most countries, more and more mothers find themselves raising children without the help of a mate, and with insufficient alimony.

Nevertheless, in many cases, wives and mothers are working​—not for the family’s survival, but simply to maintain the family’s accustomed standard of living. Here, especially, is where the question needs to be asked: Is it worth it?

Robert Coles, child psychiatrist, made these observations about family life in the United States: “Family life has become, for a lot of people, a matter of materialism: How much does this family own, and how much can it hold on to? People are living very comfortably in the sense that they have several cars and an air-conditioning unit and a television; yet they are tearing one another’s souls apart.” Doesn’t this indicate that a review of priorities is needed?

A Better Alternative

Nobody wants to be poor, or to starve. If the alternative is grinding poverty or malnutrition, then it would be foolish not to work for a decent standard of living. But many people today are not working for their next meal, they are working for their second automobile, their stereo, their summer home​—tearing their own souls apart in order to have certain material possessions.

This brings to mind some excellent common-sense advice that is over 2,500 years old. “Give me neither poverty nor riches.” (Prov. 30:8) Just as poverty brings frustration, debasement and misery, the other extreme of too many material things can crowd more important values, such as the family, or the worship of God, out of one’s life. If people are exhausting themselves to pay for a life-style that drains them of time for their loved ones, or interest in matters that refresh the human spirit​—are they really any better off than persons oppressed by poverty?

Rather than fighting desperately to maintain a more affluent life-style you will probably be much happier if you let a few extras go and content yourself with a simpler way of life. In many cases, not working reduces a wife’s work-related expenses. Hence, less belt-tightening is required than might have been anticipated, although this will vary.

Why not take advantage of the challenge to work together as a family to conserve, to reduce expenses? Psychiatrist Coles notes: “Parents forget that what children need perhaps more than anything is discipline and a sense of commitment to something larger than themselves. Children need to be asked of as well as given to.” So why not include the children in family efforts to reduce unnecessary expenses, or to take better care of family possessions? A sense of family purpose and cooperation can be cultivated.

Where it is necessary for all in the family to pitch in to care for genuine family needs, doing one’s part brings a sense of satisfaction. But the effect is quite different when getting a job reflects simply a spirit of restlessness or concern largely for self.

Real happiness does not come from earning enough money so that each adult in the family can have his own car. It is not having a TV or a stereo in your own room or being able to buy new clothing more freely that brings true contentment. There is much more to life. Spiritual interests enrich one’s life in a way that material possessions never can. Whether you find that you as a woman must hold a secular job or not, your greater happiness will come from being rich in such spiritual pursuits.​—Luke 12:20, 21; Matt. 13:18-23.

[Chart on page 17]

IT COSTS MONEY TO WORK

gross income $15,000

federal taxes 5,238

social security taxes 908

state taxes 862

child care 2,080

household help at $25/​wk 1,250

workday lunches at $15/​wk 750

transportation at $7.50/​wk 375

Total expenses 11,963

Net income $3,037=20.2% of $15,000

[Picture on page 18]

“I quit for the kids”

[Picture on page 19]

Working together to reduce expenses can benefit the whole family