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Insight on the NewsThe Watchtower—1981 | November 1
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Not the Way to Happier Marriage
● “No more telling Mom that living together first will make for a better marriage later,” declared “Psychology Today.” It reported the results of a new study that showed that couples who lived together before they got married were just as likely to obtain a divorce as those who lived apart. This study from the University of California at Los Angeles confirmed an earlier one at Florida A & M University that showed similar results. Also of interest was the finding that those who had cohabited before marriage had more problems with adultery, alcoholism and drugs. Regardless of such findings, however, persons who conscientiously want to do God’s will abide by the Scriptural standard of not having sexual relations until marriage, for his Word states: “Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage bed be without defilement, for God will judge fornicators and adulterers.”—Heb. 13:4.
A Million Teenage Pregnancies
● Each year in the United States alone, more than a million schoolgirls become pregnant, says the National Institute of Education, and 80 percent of them drop out of school. The Institute reports that about half of those who choose to have the baby keep it, but very few ever marry. As a result, a large proportion of these young unmarried mothers soon apply for public welfare, with little hope of ever becoming self-supporting. Often, their children grow up to be dropouts themselves, keeping them in the welfare cycle.
Add to these results the following: the flood of venereal diseases among promiscuous youth; the heartache of both the unmarried pregnant girl and her family; in many cases, the resorting to murder by abortion; the fact that “babies born to women under 15 years of age have three times the number of brain and nervous system disorders” as do those born to older women, according to the Department of Health, Education and Welfare. Moreover, consider that these babies are twice as likely to be premature, weighing five pounds or less, with the result that they are three times more likely to die in their first year of life than is a child born to a mother 20 to 24 years old; and that a woman having a baby as a young teenager is twice as likely to have a hysterectomy later in life as are women who have their children when older.
From such facts it is apparent that the fruits of illicit sexual relations are very bad. Hence, note the wisdom of the counsel in God’s Word: “Flee from fornication.” (1 Cor. 6:18) However, in addition to the bad fruitage of immoral sex relations, another consideration is even more important. It is that “no fornicator . . . has any inheritance in the kingdom of the Christ and of God.”—Eph. 5:5.
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Youth, Is Bible Morality the Best Way?The Watchtower—1981 | November 1
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2. (a) What do recent statistics show about youth and morals? (b) Do you feel these trends are affecting youth within the Christian congregation?
2 During this “prime of life” the surge for every pleasure has resulted in more young persons engaging in premarital sex relations, called fornication, than at any other period of modern history.a This flood of sexual promiscuity has even affected some youths within the Christian congregation. As a Christian you may wonder, ‘What makes it so difficult for a young person to remain chaste, especially during these “last days”?’—Eccl. 11:10; 2 Tim. 3:1-5.
THE PRESSURE IS ON!
3, 4. (a) Why is it not easy for a young person to remain chaste? (b) How do peer pressure and a need for understanding create problems?
3 During the teens, there is a ‘blooming’ of sexual desire. This period, called “the bloom of youth” in the Bible, usually brings a strong attraction for the opposite sex. So it is not unusual if you, as a young person, are troubled by sexual desires. However, this normal desire is whipped up by today’s entertainment and advertising media, which glorify sex.—1 Cor. 7:36.
4 The pressure from other youngsters can also be intense, as one young Christian schoolgirl explains, saying: “It’s really hard to be different nowadays. Some of the girls in school asked if I have had sex yet. When I told them no, they all began to laugh. I really felt like crying and saying that I had.” Additionally, young people have a need for love and understanding, and this may not be satisfied at home. They cherish a boyfriend or a girl friend who treats them “special” and who has a sympathetic ear. Such emotional closeness can lead to sexual intimacies. Some youngsters are bewildered by the swarm of all these new emotions. They may wonder, ‘Could something so pleasurable be wrong? Is the Bible’s morality really the best way?’
THE BEST WAY
5. (a) What does Isaiah 48:17 tell us about God? (b) According to 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, what is God’s will for us morally?
5 Our heavenly Father reminded his chosen people: “I, Jehovah, am your God, the One teaching you to benefit yourself, the One causing you to tread in the way in which you should walk.” (Isa. 48:17) What is the ‘way in which we should walk’ morally? “This is what God wills [or, requires] . . . that you abstain from fornication; that each one of you should know how to get possession of his own vessel [body] in sanctification and honor, not in covetous sexual appetite . . . For God called us, not with allowance for uncleanness.”—1 Thess. 4:3-8.
6. (a) What did the apostle Paul command anointed Christians with regard to fornication, and why? (b) Why should this cause young persons to consider their course?
6 God’s will regarding morals is clear—‘get control of your bodies’; abstain from fornication and uncleanness. You young ones who have dedicated your lives to God have formed a close union with him and have become part of a clean organization. How delighted God is by such a course! But for you to engage in premarital sex relations would be the same as if one of the anointed “members of the Christ” who is “joined to the Lord” became “joined [sexually] to a harlot.” “Never may that happen!” exclaimed the apostle Paul. It would be the highest insult to such a precious relationship. No other sin is quite the same, for “he that practices fornication is sinning against his own body.” Certainly, such sin can destroy the spiritual relationship we have with God. No wonder Paul urged “flee from fornication.” Yes, “flee”! Do not wait around to reason or debate on it. Get as far away as you can—and fast! But what if a person does not “flee” from such conduct?—1 Cor. 6:15-18.
“WRONGING THEMSELVES”
7-9. (a) What does 2 Peter 2:9-13 say concerning those who engage in immorality? (b) How have some who engaged in uncleanness ‘wronged themselves’?
7 The apostle Peter says that those within the congregation who spoke abusively of “glorious ones” and got involved in immorality ended up “wronging themselves as a reward for wrongdoing.” (2 Pet. 2:9-13) These ‘rewards’ for sexual wrongdoing go much deeper than just venereal disease or an illegitimate pregnancy. They destroy love, respect and peace of mind. For instance, some young people who “went too far,” committing fornication, sorrowfully admitted:
“It was a big letdown. There was no feeling of good or warmth of love as it was supposed to be. Rather, the full realization of how bad the act was hit me.”
“I cried all night.”
“I felt as low as a dog. It was an empty sickening feeling. I lost respect for myself and the girl. In fact, I found myself blaming the girl for allowing it to happen.”
8 Our heavenly Father tells us to avoid not just fornication but also “uncleanness.” (1 Thess. 4:7) While this term covers a wide range, it refers to conduct that is morally repugnant. For instance, masturbation (sexual self-abuse) is an ‘unclean’ habit that many young persons have engaged in. It certainly whips up the “sexual appetite” and can cause extreme guilt. In some cases where the person did not seriously strive to overcome it, this pattern of thinking created problems after marriage. One young man was shocked to find that after marriage his long pattern of sexual self-gratification made him unable to provide the marriage “due.” Months of misery followed!—1 Cor. 7:3.
9 Some couples have engaged in passionate, sexually stimulating touching of intimate body parts. This is also “uncleanness” and could easily—and often does—lead to immoral sexual intercourse. This practice can inflame a person with “sexual appetite” to the point of virtual frenzy. One young man admitted: “You see yourself as an animal with beastly desires, which is emotionally devastating.” Such conduct has resulted in broken engagementsb and often in problems for those who later married. “We did almost everything up to fornication and almost committed it before we were married,” confessed one young couple. “Though we got help from the elders, things were never the same again. It has been hard gaining back the respect for each other we once had.”
10. Why is “uncleanness” harmful to unmarried couples?
10 When an unmarried person begins engaging in some of the ‘intoxicating’ sexual practices reserved for the marriage bed, he or she can be fooled into marrying someone who does not have the qualities needed for a good husband or a good wife. Sex tends to cover over serious differences that reappear after marriage and cause problems. It is not surprising that a study revealed that out of 265 weddings where the bride was pregnant, after five years only 15 couples were still together! Other research studies show that if a person engages in premarital sex, he or she is twice as likely as others to commit adultery. So you young brothers and sisters, do not be fooled by the “empty words” of persons who say that having sexual relations before marriage results in a happier marriage. (Eph. 5:6) Some even claim that you will get sick if you do not have sex after reaching puberty. This is false. No sickness has ever been linked by doctors to chastity! Sadly, some persons who have settled for lust rather than love, have regretted this the rest of their life!
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