Young People Ask . . .

How Can I Cope With Being So Sick?

JASON was only 18, but it looked as if all his life’s goals were now unattainable. He had hoped to serve full-time as a Christian minister, but then he learned that he had Crohn’s disease—a painful and debilitating bowel disorder. Today, however, Jason is successfully coping with his circumstances.

Perhaps you too are dealing with a serious illness. In a previous issue, Awake! considered the challenges faced by young people like you.a Let’s now look at how you can make the best of your situation.

A Positive Mental Attitude

Coping successfully with any illness involves a positive mental attitude. The Bible says: “The spirit of a man can put up with his malady; but as for a stricken spirit, who can bear it?” (Proverbs 18:14) Dark, pessimistic thoughts and feelings make healing more difficult. Jason found this to be true.

At first, Jason had to fight negative feelings, such as anger, which were dragging him down. What helped? He explains: “The articles in The Watchtower and Awake! on depression really helped me to maintain a positive attitude. Now I try to take just one day at a time.”b

Seventeen-year-old Carmen likewise learned to look on the bright side of things. Although she suffers from sickle-cell anemia, she counts her blessings. “I think about the others who are worse off than I am and who can’t do the things I can do,” she says. “And I feel grateful and not so sorry for myself.”

Proverbs 17:22 says: “A heart that is joyful does good as a curer.” Some might feel that laughter is inappropriate in the face of serious illness. But good-natured humor and pleasant company refresh your mind and increase your will to live. In fact, joy is a godly quality, one of the fruits of God’s spirit. (Galatians 5:22) That spirit can help you feel joy even though you are fighting an illness.—Psalm 41:3.

Finding an Understanding Doctor

Having a doctor who understands young people is very helpful. A young person’s mental and emotional needs are usually different from those of an adult. Ashley was only ten when she had to go to the hospital for treatment of a malignant brain tumor. Ashley’s doctor dealt with her compassionately and in terms she could understand. He told her how his own childhood illness had motivated him to become a doctor. He gently but clearly explained the proposed treatment to her, so she knew what to expect.

You and your parents will want to seek out medical personnel who respect you and who understand your needs. If for some reason you do not feel reasonably comfortable with the care you are receiving, feel free to express your concerns to your parents.

Fight for Your Health!

It is also essential that you fight your illness in every way you can. For instance, learn as much as you can about your condition. “A man of knowledge is reinforcing power,” a Bible proverb observes. (Proverbs 24:5) Knowledge removes fear of the unknown.

In addition, an informed young person can be more involved in his treatment and is in a better position to cooperate with it. He may learn, for example, that he should not stop taking a prescribed medication without his doctor’s recommendation. Carmen, mentioned above, read books on sickle-cell anemia, as did her parents. What they learned helped them obtain medical treatment that could help Carmen the most.

Ask your doctor specific questions—more than once if necessary—if you’re not clear on some matter. Rather than saying what you think the doctor wants to hear, explain honestly what you are thinking and feeling. As the Bible says, “there is a frustrating of plans where there is no confidential talk.”—Proverbs 15:22.

At one point Ashley seemed quite uncommunicative regarding her illness. She would talk only to her mother about it. A wise social worker asked her privately: “Do you feel that maybe you are not being told everything?” Ashley confided that she did. So the woman showed Ashley her medical records and explained them to her. She also asked the doctors to spend more time talking with Ashley directly, rather than just about her. By finally expressing herself, Ashley was able to get the help she needed.

Support From Those Around You

When any member of a family is seriously sick, it becomes a family affair, requiring united effort. Ashley’s family and the Christian congregation rallied to support her. The congregation was periodically reminded that she was in the hospital. Members of the congregation visited her regularly, and they helped the family with housework and the preparation of meals until the family could get back into a routine. Children in the congregation visited Ashley in the hospital when she wasn’t too sick for company. This was good not only for Ashley but also for her young friends.

Before others can give you help, though, they have to know that you need it. Carmen looks to her parents and to the congregation elders for emotional and spiritual support. She also counts on those in school who share her Christian beliefs to be supportive. “They keep an eye on me,” Carmen says, “and I feel cared for.”

Your school may be able to provide helpful medical and financial advice and may even offer some personal support. For instance, Ashley’s teacher encouraged her class to write to Ashley and to visit her. If your teachers do not understand the difficulties you face, it may be necessary for your parents to discuss your situation respectfully with school authorities.

Use Mind and Body Wisely

When you are very sick, you may not be able to do anything but focus what energy you have on getting better. If you are not totally debilitated, there are many constructive things you can do. Author Jill Krementz commented on what she noted while researching her book How It Feels to Fight for Your Life: “It has been sad for me to spend two years walking down hospital corridors and to have seen so many children staring at TV sets. We need to encourage these youngsters to read more. A hospital bed is an excellent place to exercise one’s brain.”

Whether you are at home or in the hospital, exercising your mental faculties can often help you feel better. Have you tried writing letters or poems? Drawing or painting? How about learning to play a musical instrument if your condition permits it? Even with health limitations, there are many possibilities. Surely, the best thing you can do is develop the habit of praying to God and reading his Word, the Bible.—Psalm 63:6.

If your condition permits it, appropriate physical activity can also help you feel better. For this reason medical facilities often have physical therapy programs for young patients. In many cases proper exercise not only promotes physical healing but also helps to keep your spirits up.

Do Not Give Up!

In the face of great suffering, Jesus prayed to God, trusted in Him, and concentrated on his own joyful future rather than on the pain. (Hebrews 12:2) He learned from his hard experiences. (Hebrews 4:15, 16; 5:7-9) He accepted help and encouragement. (Luke 22:43) He focused on the welfare of others rather than on his own discomfort.—Luke 23:39-43; John 19:26, 27.

Although you may be very sick, you too may serve as an inspiration to others. For a school report, Ashley’s sister, Abigail, wrote: “The person I most admire is my sister. Even though she has to go to the hospital and have IVs and get poked with needles, she still comes out smiling!”c

Jason has not given up his goals, just adjusted them somewhat. Now his goal is to serve where there is a greater need for preachers of God’s Kingdom. As in Jason’s case, you may not be able to do all that you desire. The important thing is to learn to live according to your own limitations, being neither overprotective nor reckless. Count on Jehovah to give you the wisdom and the strength to do the best you can. (2 Corinthians 4:16; James 1:5) And remember, the time will come when this earth will be a paradise, where “no resident will say: ‘I am sick.’” (Isaiah 33:24) Yes, one day you will be healthy again!

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 26]

Older sister Abigail admires Ashley’s courage