The Bible’s Viewpoint

Religious Unity in Marriage—Why Important

A FAMILY sits down to have an evening meal. As the father says a prayer, the mother prays silently to another god. In another family the wife worships at a church, but her husband attends a synagogue. There are families in which one parent teaches the children about Santa Claus, while the other tells them about Hanukkah.

According to recent studies, such scenes have become common as more people are marrying outside their religion. One survey shows that in the United States, 21 percent of Catholics now marry outside their faith; among Mormons the figure is 30 percent; for Muslims, 40 percent; and for Jews, more than 50 percent. In view of centuries of religious animosity, some regard interfaith marriage as a victory over intolerance. A newspaper columnist wrote: “Mixed marriages of most any kind are to be celebrated.” Is this the Bible’s view?

It should be noted that the Bible does not support racial or ethnic prejudices. God’s Word promotes racial impartiality. The apostle Peter spoke clearly on this point: “For a certainty I perceive that God is not partial, but in every nation the man that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him.” (Acts 10:34, 35) At the same time, the Bible does teach that true worshipers of Jehovah should marry “only in the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:39) Why?

The Purpose of Marriage

God intended marriage to be an especially close bond. (Genesis 2:24) In establishing the marriage arrangement, God had in mind more than companionship. When Jehovah assigned the first couple the task of rearing children and caring for their earthly home, he showed that they were to work closely together in accomplishing his will. (Genesis 1:28) By cooperating in serving God in this respect, man and woman would enjoy, not simply companionship, but a close and lasting partnership.—Compare Malachi 2:14.

Jesus alluded to this partnership when he said the well-known words: “They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart.” (Matthew 19:6) Jesus used metaphoric language to compare the marriage union to a yoke that holds two draft animals together to pull or move a common load. Imagine the strain on two yoked animals pulling in opposite directions! Similarly, those who marry outside the true faith may find themselves straining to live according to Bible principles while the mate resists. Appropriately, the Bible states: “Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers.”—2 Corinthians 6:14.

A Better Marriage

Unity in true worship can greatly strengthen a marriage. One writer commented: “Worshiping together is one of the major characteristics of healthy, happy families.” Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10 says: “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their hard work. For if one of them should fall, the other one can raise his partner up.”

When they center their lives on their worship, a Christian couple are united not only physically but also spiritually. As they pray together, study God’s Word together, congregate with fellow Christians, and share their faith with others, they forge a spiritual bond that greatly enhances the closeness of their marriage. A Christian woman commented: “True worship is a way of life. I can’t imagine choosing to marry someone who doesn’t share the basis for who and what I am.”—Compare Mark 3:35.

Those who marry “in the Lord” can expect their mates to imitate Jesus’ conduct. Christian husbands are to treat their wives as Jesus lovingly treated the congregation. Christian wives are to treat their husbands with respect. (1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:25, 29, 33) Christians do this out of a desire not simply to please their mates but to please God, who holds married couples accountable for the way they treat each other.—Malachi 2:13, 14; 1 Peter 3:1-7.

Adhering to a common set of beliefs also helps Christian couples resolve differences peacefully. The Bible advises Christians to keep focused, “not in personal interest upon just [their] own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others.” (Philippians 2:4) Regardless of personal preferences, mates who are united in faith look to God’s Word as a common authority for settling any disagreements. (2 Timothy 3:16, 17) In this way they follow the Bible’s counsel for Christians to be of “the same mind.”—1 Corinthians 1:10; 2 Corinthians 13:11; Philippians 4:2.

Attraction and Common Values

Admittedly, there is more to a relationship than sharing the same faith. Mutual attraction is also a factor. (Song of Solomon 3:5; 4:7, 9; 5:10) But for a marriage to endure, common values are crucial. According to the book Are You the One for Me? “couples who share similar values have a much greater chance of creating a happy, harmonious, and lasting relationship.”

Unfortunately, people who are attracted to each other may not address serious differences until after marriage. By comparison, imagine buying a house primarily because you like the way it looks. Only after moving in, however, do you learn that the foundation is unstable. With a shaky foundation, all the attractive features of the house become meaningless. Similarly, one may be attracted to a person of a different faith who seems compatible—but after marriage the relationship may turn out to be seriously flawed.

Consider some difficult issues that may surface later in interreligious marriages: Where will the family worship? What religious training will the children receive? Which faith will the family support financially? Will one mate insist on sharing in certain religious customs and holidays that the other considers pagan? (Isaiah 52:11) Every marriage requires each partner to make reasonable adjustments; however, compromising Bible principles—even to preserve a marriage—is unacceptable to God.—Compare Deuteronomy 7:3, 4; Nehemiah 13:26, 27.

To maintain marital peace, some couples in religiously divided marriages practice their faiths independently. Sadly, though, worshiping independently creates a spiritual void in the marriage. One Christian woman married to a man who did not share her faith related: “Although we were married for 40 years, my husband didn’t really know me.” Conversely, a marriage in which both partners worship “with spirit and truth” has God at its center. As the Bible poetically states, “a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two.”—John 4:23, 24; Ecclesiastes 4:12.

What About the Children?

Some contemplating an interfaith marriage may feel that they can expose their children to both faiths and allow the children to choose. True, both parents have the legal and moral right to offer religious training, and ultimately, the children do make their own decision.a

The Bible instructs children to obey both parents “in union with the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:1) Proverbs 6:20 puts it this way: “Observe, O my son, the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” Instead of being exposed to different doctrines, children raised by two parents who are of common belief are united in what the Bible calls “one Lord, one faith, one baptism.”—Ephesians 4:5; Deuteronomy 11:19.

Truly “in the Lord”

If sharing common values is a key to a successful marriage, would it be wise to marry just anyone who professes to be a Christian? The Bible answers: “He that says he remains in union with [Jesus] is under obligation himself also to go on walking just as that one walked.” (1 John 2:6) Thus, a Christian contemplating marriage would seek a fellow Christian who truly strives to follow Jesus. Such a prospective mate would have dedicated his life to God and been baptized. He would imitate Jesus’ loving personality and his zealous preaching of God’s Kingdom. As was true of Jesus, he would center his life around doing God’s will.—Matthew 6:33; 16:24; Luke 8:1; John 18:37.

By patiently waiting for a suitable partner within God’s family of worshipers, those contemplating marriage set a pattern of putting God’s will first in their lives. Such a pattern will ultimately contribute to a happier, more satisfying marriage.—Ecclesiastes 7:8; Isaiah 48:17, 18.

[Footnote]

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Help for Religiously Divided Families

For various reasons many married couples today are religiously divided. Some individuals may have chosen a mate who belongs to a different religion. But many couples started out sharing a common faith and later became religiously divided when one mate adopted another form of worship. There may be other circumstances that bring about religious division in the family. Notwithstanding the causes, however, the marriage vows are not to be broken or belittled simply because mates disagree on the choice of religion. The Bible honors the sanctity and permanence of marriage, even when the mates are not united in worship. (1 Peter 3:1, 2) The apostle Paul wrote: “If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him, let him not leave her.” (1 Corinthians 7:12) If applied, the principles found in the Bible can help any married couple to enjoy peace in a loving and respectful relationship.—Ephesians 5:28-33; Colossians 3:12-14; Titus 2:4, 5; 1 Peter 3:7-9.