20, 21. (a) How does the Bible show that the authority of a husband and of parents is not absolute? (b) So, with what decision may a Christian wife or believing children be faced, and what should motivate them?

²⁰ Keep in mind that the entire framework of family authority originates with God. Thus men are to be in subjection to Christ, wives to their husbands “as it is becoming in the Lord,” and children to their parents “for this is well-​pleasing in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18, 20; 1 Corinthians 11:3) So God cannot be left out of account, can he? This means that the authority of a husband over his wife, and of parents over their children, is a relative one. That is, the Christian mate and children are subject to God and Christ first, obeying their counsel. To some unbelieving mates or parents that idea might at first be displeasing. But really it works for their good, because it will help to make the believing mate and children more dependable and respectful.

The same is true when children are old enough to understand and obey God’s Word. If their parents do not share their desire to serve Jehovah, the children must decide whether they will be loyal to God or share the lot of parents who are not. (Matthew 10:37-39) But aside from their first obligation to God, children should be submissive in “everything,” even if it means doing things that are not to their liking. (Colossians 3:20) This course of conduct may even attract their parents to Jehovah’s provisions for salvation. It is truly “well-​pleasing in the Lord” when one’s motivation is loyalty to Jehovah and his righteous ways, instead of disobedience born of an independent spirit.