-
The Option of DivorceAwake!—1999 | April 22
-
-
If There Are Children
“Children’s needs are often forgotten or ignored by parents who are too absorbed in their own problems,” states the book Couples in Crisis. Thus, when contemplating divorce, keep in mind the spirituality and survival of your children. Many researchers note that the more amicable a divorce can be, the less the children are likely to suffer. Even under difficult circumstances, mildness will help a person ‘not to fight, but to be gentle toward all, keeping himself restrained under evil.’—2 Timothy 2:24, 25.a
If one chooses to divorce, it should be borne in mind that the husband and wife—not the children—are getting divorced. The children still need both Mom and Dad. Of course, there may be extreme circumstances, such as when the child is in danger of suffering child abuse. But religious or personal differences should not be used to deprive children of the benefit of having two parents.
Also to be taken into account are the fragile emotions of young children and their need for ample reassurance, love, and affection. “This continuity of love,” states one book, “will provide both a background and a foundation for them to deal with the new situation.” In addition, giving attention to their daily spiritual needs can help them maintain stability.—Deuteronomy 6:6, 7; Matthew 4:4.
-
-
The Option of DivorceAwake!—1999 | April 22
-
-
CHILDREN DO NOT DESERVE DIVORCE
In 1988 the late Diana, Princess of Wales, said that in Britain alone, every day up to 420 children go through the divorce of their parents. A third of those children are younger than five years old. Tragically, as many as 40 percent of children lose contact with one of their parents after divorce.
Contrary to what many people think, “very few children of divorcing parents welcome the breakup,” observes a respected health and medical writer. “The great majority of children would prefer to see their parents together even if the family atmosphere is difficult.” Even if at the time of the infidelity a couple argued a lot, they should not hastily conclude that ending the marriage would be better for the children. Making changes in their attitudes and behavior may make it possible for them to stay together for the good of the whole family.
“Husbands being promiscuous,” states author Pamela Winfield, “should think of the pain in their children’s eyes at the break-up of the home which will follow their foolishness.”
-