Gossip—Why the Appeal?
IN Chinese it is shén-tán; in Finnish, juoru; in Italian, pettegolézzo; in Spanish, chisme. Yes, gossip is universal. In some languages, gossip may have an outright negative connotation. In English the word “gossip” basically means “idle talk,” chat about trivial matters.
Interestingly, though, the English term has acquired a negative connotation. “Gossip” is thus frequently preceded by the word “malicious” or “hurtful.” This is because idle talk so often amounts to hurtful or troublemaking talk. It may even turn into outright slander, which has been defined as “the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation.” Little wonder, then, that an ancient proverb says: “Gossip brings anger just as surely as the north wind brings rain.”—Proverbs 25:23, Today’s English Version.
In view of its potential for damage, then, why do we often find gossip so irresistible, so appealing? And where does one draw the line between harmless and harmful gossip?
Gossip—The Information Exchange
There is a rather basic reason for gossip: People are interested in people. Naturally, then, we are prone to talk about other people. As Max Gluckman, an anthropologist, once stated: “Every single day, and for a large part of each day, most of us are engaged in gossiping. I imagine that if we were to keep a record of how we use our waking-time, gossiping would come only after ‘work’—for some of us—in the score.”
When moderate and kind, casual talk may serve to exchange useful information, as a means of catching up on the latest goings-on. It may involve such innocent things as who got married, who is pregnant, and who died, or it may just be humorous talk that is free of malicious intent.
All too often, though, idle talk strays beyond the bounds of propriety and good taste. Facts are embellished, exaggerated, or distorted. Humiliation is made the source of humor. Privacy is violated. Confidences are betrayed. Reputations are injured or ruined. Things worthy of praise are obscured by complaining, murmuring, and faultfinding. That no harm was intended is of little solace to the one spoken about. Harmful gossip has thus been compared to mud thrown on a clean wall. It may not stick, but it always leaves a dirty mark.
Fitting In
Another reason we may easily be drawn into gossip is our natural desire to be liked and accepted by others. “For one reason or another,” wrote psychologists John Sabini and Maury Silver, “you have an obligation to talk; and gossip is a pleasant, easy, and universally accepted way to fulfill the obligation.” (Moralities of Everyday Life) To an extent, then, gossip is useful conversational fuel, a means to fit in.
The problem is that people tend to get far more excited about negative information than about positive information. Some even seem to enjoy being shocked by the sensational and the outrageous. Gossip is thus a real attention getter—the more lurid or scandalous the juicy tidbit, the better. Rarely is there any concern for substantiating shocking allegations.
Media Gossip
This kind of gossip appeals to yet another human foible—inordinate curiosity. We love secrets. We enjoy being in the know. As early as 1730, when Benjamin Franklin began writing a gossip column for the Pennsylvania Gazette, it was discerned that people would pay for gossip.
Media gossip continues to survive—and thrive. In Europe newsstands virtually overflow with tabloids featuring stories about royal families, auto racers, and other international celebrities. One newspaper article thus called gossip big business.
But is it beneficial to be obsessively curious about what goes on in the privacy of people’s homes, bedrooms, and minds? Can the reading and viewing of material that tends to arouse prurient desires possibly be healthy? Obviously, media gossip takes curiosity beyond reasonable limits.
“I Heard It Through the Grapevine”
Unfounded rumors and misinformation have also provided fuel for harmful gossip. During the American Civil War, endless vinelike strands of telegraph lines were strung between military posts. The “grapevine” thus became a symbol of unconfirmed news, and the expression “I heard it through the grapevine” became a popular excuse for passing on unfounded rumors.
Unfortunately, the grapevine often yields bitter fruit. Rumors have been responsible for panic, death, and havoc. The cost to business alone has been incalculable. One fast-food restaurant chain spent more than a year combating a false rumor that its hamburgers contained worms. A company known for manufacturing soap products spent years—and millions of dollars—trying to squelch a rumor that its corporate symbol was the insignia of Satan and that the company itself was somehow involved in demon worship.
It is individuals, though, who suffer the greatest heartache and damage from rumors. Yet, because wild stories tend to be fascinating, people are inclined to promote them with little regard for the truth or for the consequences.
Malicious Gossip—Slander
Envy and hate are often at the root of the most destructive form of gossip—malicious gossip, or slander. The Greek word for “slanderer” is di·aʹbo·los, the word translated in the Bible as Devil. (Revelation 12:9) The title fits, as Satan is the great slanderer of God. Like Satan, some speak about others with evil intent. Sometimes the motive is revenge, as a result of hurt feelings or jealousy. In any case, they seek to advance their own interests by murdering the good name of others.
Although malicious gossip, or slander, is clearly the most censurable form of gossip, engaging in any form of hurtful, troublemaking gossip is immoral and irresponsible. How, then, can one prevent harmless talk from deteriorating into harmful slander?
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Friendly gossip often serves the purpose of exchanging useful information and fueling conversations
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Harmful gossip is like mud thrown on a clean wall. It may not stick, but it always leaves a dirty mark
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Some people gossip so as to be the center of attention