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“You Are My Friends”The Watchtower—2009 | October 15
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Where We Can Find Good Friends
19, 20. What can we find within the congregation, and what will we next consider?
19 Jesus continues to care for us not only through the oversight of loving shepherds but also by providing us with spiritual mothers and brothers and sisters within the congregation. (Read Mark 10:29, 30.) When you first began associating with Jehovah’s organization, how did your relatives react? Hopefully, they supported your efforts to draw close to God and Christ. But Jesus warned that sometimes “a man’s enemies will be persons of his own household.” (Matt. 10:36) How comforting to know that within the congregation, we can find those who will stick closer to us than a literal brother!—Prov. 18:24.
20 As indicated by Paul’s personal greetings at the conclusion of his letter to the congregation in Rome, he forged many close friendships. (Rom. 16:8-16) The apostle John concluded his third letter with the words: “Give my greetings to the friends by name.” (3 John 14) Obviously, he too developed many enduring friendships.
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Maintaining Friendships in a Loveless WorldThe Watchtower—2009 | October 15
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Maintaining Friendships in a Loveless World
“These things I command you, that you love one another.”—JOHN 15:17.
1. Why did first-century Christians need to remain close friends?
DURING his final night on earth, Jesus encouraged his loyal disciples to remain friends with one another. Earlier in the evening, he said that the love they displayed for one another would identify them as his followers. (John 13:35) The apostles needed to remain close friends if they were to endure the trials that lay ahead and to accomplish the work that Jesus would soon assign them. Indeed, first-century Christians became known for their unbreakable devotion to God and to one another.
2. (a) What are we determined to do, and why? (b) What questions will we consider?
2 Today, what a pleasure it is to be associated with a worldwide organization whose members follow the pattern set by those first-century Christians! We are determined to obey Jesus’ command to display genuine love for one another. However, during these last days, people in general are disloyal and fail to show natural affection. (2 Tim. 3:1-3) The friendships they do form are often shallow and self-serving. To keep our identity as true Christians, we must rise above such attitudes. Let us, then, consider the following: What is the foundation of good friendships? How can we make good friends? When might we need to end a friendship? And how can we maintain upbuilding friendships?
What Is the Basis of Good Friendships?
3, 4. What is the basis of the strongest friendships, and why?
3 The strongest friendships are founded on a love for Jehovah. King Solomon wrote: “If somebody could overpower one alone, two together could make a stand against him. And a threefold cord cannot quickly be torn in two.” (Eccl. 4:12) When Jehovah is the third cord in a friendship, that friendship will endure.
4 True, those who do not love Jehovah can also form rewarding friendships. But when individuals are drawn together by a mutual love for God, their friendship will be unshakable. If misunderstandings arise, true friends will treat each other in a way that pleases Jehovah. If opposers of God try to cause divisions, these enemies discover that friendships among true Christians are unbreakable. Throughout history, servants of Jehovah have proved their willingness to face death rather than betray one another.—Read 1 John 3:16.
5. Why was the friendship between Ruth and Naomi so enduring?
5 Without a doubt, the most satisfying friendships we can enjoy are with those who love Jehovah. Consider the example of Ruth and Naomi. These women formed a friendship that is among the most admirable recorded in the Bible. Why was their friendship so enduring? Ruth revealed the reason when she said to Naomi: “Your people will be my people, and your God my God. . . . May Jehovah do so to me and add to it if anything but death should make a separation between me and you.” (Ruth 1:16, 17) Obviously, Ruth and Naomi shared a deep love for God, and they allowed this love to influence the way they treated each other. As a result, both women were blessed by Jehovah.
How to Make Good Friends
6-8. (a) Enduring friendships are a product of what? (b) How can you take the initiative in making friends?
6 The example of Ruth and Naomi demonstrates that good friendships are not formed by accident. A mutual love for Jehovah is the foundation. But enduring friendships are a product of hard work and self-sacrifice. Even siblings who worship Jehovah within Christian families need to work at forming a close friendship. How, then, can you make good friends?
7 Take the initiative. The apostle Paul encouraged his friends in the congregation in Rome to “follow the course of hospitality.” (Rom. 12:13) Following a literal course involves taking a series of steps, one after the other. Likewise, being hospitable involves taking a series of small, regular actions. Nobody else can walk the path of hospitality for you. (Read Proverbs 3:27.) One way you can be hospitable is by inviting different ones in the congregation to share a simple meal with you. Can you make it a regular part of your routine to show hospitality to members of your congregation?
8 Another way you can take the initiative in making friends is by inviting different ones to share with you in the preaching work. When you stand at a stranger’s door and hear your companion speak from the heart about his or her love for Jehovah, you cannot help but be drawn closer to that individual.
9, 10. What example did Paul set, and how may we imitate him?
9 Widen out in your affections. (Read 2 Corinthians 6:12, 13.) Have you ever felt that there is just no one in your congregation whom you can befriend? If so, could it be that you are restricting your view of who can be a friend? The apostle Paul set a good example in widening out in his affections. At one time, he would never have thought of forming close friendships with non-Jews. However, he became “an apostle to the nations.”—Rom. 11:13.
10 In addition, Paul did not restrict his friendships to those of his own age group. For instance, he and Timothy became close friends despite a difference in age and background. Today, many young ones treasure the friendships they have formed with older members of the congregation. “I have a very dear friend who is in her 50’s,” says Vanessa, who is in her early 20’s. “I can tell her anything that I can tell friends my age. And she cares about me so much.” How are such friendships formed? Vanessa says: “I had to seek this friendship out and not just wait for it to come to me.” Are you willing to build friendships with those outside your age bracket? Jehovah will certainly reward you for your efforts.
11. What can we learn from the example of Jonathan and David?
11 Be loyal. “A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress,” wrote Solomon. (Prov. 17:17) When composing those words, Solomon may have had in mind the friendship that his father, David, enjoyed with Jonathan. (1 Sam. 18:1) King Saul wanted his son Jonathan to inherit the throne of Israel. But Jonathan accepted the fact that Jehovah had chosen David for this privilege. Unlike Saul, Jonathan did not become envious of David. He did not resent the praise David received, nor did he swallow the slander that Saul spread about David. (1 Sam. 20:24-34) Are we like Jonathan? When our friends receive privileges, are we happy for them? When they suffer hardships, do we comfort and support them? If we hear harmful gossip about a friend, are we quick to believe it? Or, like Jonathan, do we loyally defend our friend?
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