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School and WorkQuestions Young People Ask—Answers That Work
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Section 5
School and Work
School, love it or hate it, is where you will probably spend about 12 years of your life. These can be years of drudgery or of discovery. Much depends upon how you use those school years. In this section we will therefore take an in-depth look at school, homework, grades, and teachers. And for those of you already out of school, we have some solid tips for survival in the job market.
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Should I Quit School?Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work
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Chapter 17
Should I Quit School?
JACK has been a school attendance officer for over 25 years. A truant youth is therefore hard pressed to come up with an excuse Jack has not already heard. “I’ve been told everything by the kids,” he says, “such as ‘I thought I was going to be sick today’ . . . ‘My grandfather in Alaska died.’” Jack’s “favorite” excuse? It was from three boys who claimed they “couldn’t find the school because it was too foggy.”
These embarrassingly shaky alibis illustrate the aversion many youths have toward school, often ranging from indifference (“It’s all right, I guess”) to outright hostility (“School stinks! I hate it”). Gary, for example, would get up for school and immediately feel sick to his stomach. Said he, “I’d get close to the school, and I’d get so sweaty and nervous . . . I just had to get back to my house.” Many youths similarly suffer an obsessive dread of school—something doctors call school phobia. It is often triggered by school violence, peer cruelty, and pressure to get good grades. Such youths may (with a bit of parental persuasion) go to school, but they suffer constant turmoil and even physical distress.
Not surprisingly an alarming number of youths choose not to go to school at all! In the United States alone, some two and a half million students of elementary and secondary schools are absent every day! An article in The New York Times added that so many (about one third) are “chronically absent” in New York City high schools “that it is nearly impossible to teach them.”
Other youths are taking yet more drastic steps. “School was boring, too strict,” said a young man named Walter. He dropped out of high school (secondary school). So did a girl named Antonia. She was having difficulty with her schoolwork. “How could I do the work if I didn’t understand what I was reading?” she asked. “I was just sitting there getting dumber and dumber, so I left.”
Admittedly, serious problems plague school systems around the world. But is this reason to lose all interest in school and drop out? What effects might dropping out have on your life later on? Are there good reasons for staying in school until you graduate?
The Value of an Education
Michael returned to school to get a high school equivalency diploma. When asked why, he said, “I realized that I needed an education.” But just what is an “education”? The ability to recite an impressive array of facts? This no more makes an education than a pile of bricks makes a house.
Education should prepare you for a successful adult life. Allen Austill, a school dean for 18 years, spoke of “the education that teaches you how to think, to solve problems, what is rational and irrational, the fundamental capacity to think clearly, to know what data is and to know the connections between parts and whole. To make those judgments and distinctions, to learn how to learn.”
And how does school fit in? Centuries ago King Solomon wrote proverbs “to give to the inexperienced ones shrewdness, to a young man knowledge and thinking ability.” (Proverbs 1:1-4) Yes, inexperience goes with youth. School, however, can help you nurture and cultivate thinking ability. This is the ability not merely to recite facts but also to analyze them and generate productive ideas from them. Though many have criticized the way some schools go about teaching, school does force you to use your mind. True, solving geometry problems or memorizing a list of historical dates may not seem relevant to your life at the time. But as Barbara Mayer wrote in The High School Survival Guide: “Not everyone is going to remember all the facts and bits of knowledge which teachers like to put in tests, but the skills such as learning how to study, and how to plan, will never be forgotten.”
Three university professors who studied the long-term effects of education similarly concluded that “the better educated do have wider and deeper knowledge not merely of bookish facts but also of the contemporary world, and that they are more likely to seek out knowledge and be attuned to sources of information. . . . These differences are found to have endured despite aging and many years of removal from school.”—The Enduring Effects of Education.
Most important of all, an education can equip you to carry out your Christian responsibilities. If you have acquired good study habits and have mastered the art of reading, you can more easily study God’s Word. (Psalm 1:2) Having learned in school to express yourself, you can more easily teach Bible truths to others. A knowledge of history, science, geography, and math is likewise useful and will help you to relate to people of various backgrounds, interests, and beliefs.
School and Employment
School also has a great impact on your future employment prospects. How so?
Wise King Solomon said of the skillful worker: “Before kings is where he will station himself; he will not station himself before commonplace men.” (Proverbs 22:29) This is still true today. “Without skills, a lot of things in life can leave you behind,” said Ernest Green of the U.S. Department of Labor.
Understandably, then, the job outlook for those who quit school is poor. Walter (quoted earlier) learned this the hard way. “A lot of times I’ve applied for jobs and I couldn’t get them because I didn’t have a diploma.” He also admitted: “Sometimes people use words I can’t understand, and I feel stupid.”
Unemployment among 16- to 24-year-olds who are high school dropouts “is nearly twice that of their peers who did graduate and nearly three times that of the overall unemployment rate.” (The New York Times) “Those who do not continue their education are closing the doors to opportunity,” adds author F. Philip Rice in his book The Adolescent. Someone who has dropped out has likely not mastered the basic skills needed to handle the simplest of jobs.
Paul Copperman writes in his book The Literacy Hoax: “A recent study indicates that it takes approximately a seventh-grade reading level to hold a job as a cook, an eighth-grade level to hold a job as a mechanic, and a ninth- or tenth-grade level to hold a job as a supply clerk.” He continues: “I believe it is a reasonable inference that a job as a teacher, nurse, accountant, or engineer would demand a higher minimum level of reading ability.”
Obviously, then, the students who really apply themselves to learning basic skills, such as reading, will have far better job opportunities. But what is another lifelong benefit that can be derived from attending school?
A Better You
That lifelong benefit is your knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Michelle, who recently took a job in the computer field, observed: “In school I learned how to work under pressure, how to take a test and how to express myself.”
‘School taught me how to view failure,’ says another youth. She had the tendency to view others, and not herself, as the cause of her setbacks. Others have benefited from the disciplined school routine. Many criticize the schools because of this, claiming that this stifles young minds. Yet Solomon encouraged youths “to know wisdom and discipline.” (Proverbs 1:2) Schools in which discipline prevails have indeed produced many disciplined, yet creative, minds.
It therefore makes good sense for you to take full advantage of your school years. How can you do that? Let’s start with your schoolwork itself.
Questions for Discussion
◻ Why do so many youths have a negative view of school? How do you feel about the matter?
◻ How does school help a person develop thinking ability?
◻ How might dropping out of school affect your future ability to get a job, and why?
◻ What other personal benefits may result from staying in school?
[Blurb on page 135]
“I was just sitting there getting dumber and dumber, so I left”
[Blurb on page 138]
“A recent study indicates that it takes approximately a seventh-grade reading level to hold a job as a cook, an eighth-grade level to hold a job as a mechanic, and a ninth- or tenth-grade level to hold a job as a supply clerk”
[Pictures on page 136]
The discipline you learn in school can benefit you for the rest of your life
[Picture on page 137]
Job prospects are dim for those who haven’t mastered the basic skills taught in school
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How Can I Improve My Grades?Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work
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Chapter 18
How Can I Improve My Grades?
WHEN a number of elementary school students were asked, ‘What do you worry about most?’ 51 percent said, “Grades”!
Little wonder that school grades are a major source of anxiety among youths. Grades can mean the difference between graduating and being left behind, between obtaining a well-paying job and getting only a minimum wage, between receiving the praise of parents and incurring their wrath. Admittedly, grades and tests have their place. Why, Jesus Christ often tested his disciples’ understanding of certain matters. (Luke 9:18) And as the book Measurement and Evaluation in the Schools says: “Test results can reveal areas of strength and weakness of individual students and act as motivating devices for future study.” Your grades also serve to give your parents some idea of how you are doing in school—for better or for worse.
Finding the Balance
Too much concern about grades, however, can create paralyzing stresses and ignite fierce competition. One textbook on adolescence observes that college-bound students can especially be “caught up in a competitive maze that emphasizes grades and class rank rather than learning.” As a result, to quote Dr. William Glasser, students “learn early in school to ask what is going to be on the test and . . . study only that material.”
Warned King Solomon: “I myself have seen all the hard work and all the proficiency in work, that it means the rivalry of one toward another; this also is vanity and a striving after the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 4:4) Fierce competition, whether for material riches or academic accolades, is futile. God-fearing youths see the need to apply themselves in school. But instead of making education the most important thing in life, they pursue spiritual interests, trusting God to care for their material needs.—Matthew 6:33; see Chapter 22 on choosing careers.
Furthermore, education means more than racking up points on tests. It means developing what Solomon called “thinking ability,” the skill of taking raw information and drawing sound, practical conclusions from it. (Proverbs 1:4) A youth who manages to get passing grades through guessing, cramming, or even cheating never really learns how to think. And what good is a high grade in math if later on you find yourself unable to balance a checkbook?
It is thus important that you view grades, not as an end in themselves, but as a helpful means of gauging your progress at school. How, though, can you achieve grades that reflect your abilities?
Take Responsibility for Learning!
According to teacher Linda Nielsen, poor students tend to “blame their poor [school] performances on sources beyond their control: unfair test questions, a prejudiced teacher, bad luck, fate, the weather.” The Bible, though, says: “The lazy one is showing himself desirous, but his soul has nothing.” (Proverbs 13:4) Yes, laziness is often the real reason for low grades.
Good students, however, take responsibility for their learning. ’Teen magazine once polled some high-achieving high (secondary) school students. Their secret? “Personal motivation helps you keep going,” said one. “Putting yourself on a schedule and organizing your time,” said another. “You have to set goals for yourself,” said yet another. Yes, how good your grades are depends for the most part, not on factors beyond your control, but on YOU—how hard you are willing to study and apply yourself in school.
‘But I Do Study’
This is what some youths might claim. They sincerely feel they are already working themselves to the bone but getting no results. A few years ago, however, researchers at Stanford University (U.S.A.) polled some 770 students and asked how much effort they felt they were putting into their schoolwork. Oddly enough, students with low grades thought they worked as hard as anybody! Yet when their study habits were examined, it was discovered that they actually did far less homework than their high-achieving schoolmates.
The lesson? Perhaps you too are not studying as hard as you think you are, and some changes would be in order. An article in the Journal of Educational Psychology showed that simply making “an increase in time spent on homework has a positive effect on a student’s grades in high school.” In fact, “with 1 to 3 hours of homework a week, the average low ability student can achieve grades commensurate with an average ability student who does not do homework.”
The apostle Paul figuratively had to ‘pummel his body’ to reach his goals. (1 Corinthians 9:27) You may similarly have to institute a get-tough policy with yourself, especially if TV or other distractions easily divert your attention from studying. You might even try putting a sign on the TV that says, “No TV until homework is done!”
Your Study Environment
Most of us would benefit from having a quiet place that is set aside for study. If you share a room or if space is limited in your home, improvise! Perhaps the kitchen or someone’s bedroom can be proclaimed your study area for an hour or so each evening. Or as a last resort, try a public library or a friend’s home.
If possible, use a desk or a table with plenty of space on which to spread out your work. Keep supplies such as pencils and paper handy so you won’t have to get up constantly. And, sorry to say, having the TV or the radio on generally works against concentration, as do telephone calls or visiting.
Make sure, too, that you have adequate, glare-free lighting. Good lighting reduces study fatigue and protects your eyes as well. And if possible, check ventilation and room temperature. A cool room provides a more invigorating study environment than a warm room does.
What if you are simply not in the mood for studying? Life seldom allows us the luxury of indulging our moods. At a secular job, you will have to work every day—whether you are in the mood for it or not. So view homework as an exercise in self-discipline, a rehearsal for later work experience. Be businesslike about it. Suggests one educator: “If possible, studying should be done in the same place and at the same time every day. Thus, regular study will become a habit, and . . . will reduce your resistance to study.”
Your Study Routine
At Philippians 3:16, Paul encouraged Christians to “go on walking orderly in this same routine.” Paul was speaking of the routine of Christian living. However, a routine, or pattern of doing things, is also helpful when it comes to your method of studying. Try, for instance, to organize what you are going to study. Avoid studying similar subjects (such as two foreign languages) in sequence. Plan brief breaks between subjects, especially if your homework load is heavy.
If your assignment involves a lot of reading, you might try the following method. First, SURVEY your material. Glance through the assigned material, looking at subheadings, charts, and so forth, in order to get an overall view of it. Next, make up QUESTIONS based on chapter titles or topic sentences. (This keeps your mind focused on what you read.) Now READ, looking for the answers to these questions. When you have finished each paragraph or section, RECITE, or tell yourself from memory, what you have read, without looking at the book. And when you have finished the entire assignment, REVIEW by scanning headings and testing your memory of each section. Some claim that this method has helped students retain up to 80 percent of what they read!
One educator further says: “It’s important to have the student realize that a fact doesn’t exist in isolation but is always related to other information.” Try, therefore, to relate what you study to what you already know and have experienced. Search for the practical value of what you are learning.
Interestingly, the God-fearing youth has a real advantage here. For the Bible says: “The fear of Jehovah is the beginning of knowledge.” (Proverbs 1:7) Learning the laws of physics, for example, may seem like pure drudgery. But knowing that through creation God’s “invisible qualities are clearly seen” gives added meaning to what you learn. (Romans 1:20) History likewise often touches on the outworking of Jehovah’s purposes. Seven world powers (including the present Anglo-American combine) are discussed right in the Bible itself!—Revelation 17:10; Daniel, chapter 7.
By relating what you learn to what you know or to your Christian faith, facts begin to mean something to you, knowledge grows into understanding. And as Solomon observed, “To the understanding one knowledge is an easy thing.”—Proverbs 14:6.
‘There Will Be a Test Next Week’
These words need not cause you to panic. First of all, try to discern from your teacher’s comments what kind of test it will be, such as an essay test or multiple choice. Also, in the days preceding the test, listen for clues as to what will appear in the test. (“This next point is very important” or “Be sure to remember that” are typical hints, says Senior Scholastic magazine.) Next, review your notes, textbooks, and homework assignments.
“By iron, iron itself is sharpened. So one man sharpens the face of another,” Solomon reminds us. (Proverbs 27:17) Perhaps a friend or one of your parents would be happy to drill you with questions or listen to you as you recite classroom material. And then the night before the test, relax and try to get a good night’s sleep. “Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?” Jesus asked.—Matthew 6:27.
Failure
Failing a test—especially after trying hard to pass it—can devastate your self-respect. But educator Max Rafferty reminds us: “As long as we live, we’re graded on what we know, how well we get results . . . A school that kids the kids into thinking that life is going to be all Roman candles is not a school. It’s a dream factory.” The humiliation of failing a test may well be worth it if it spurs you on to learn from your mistakes and improve.
But what about facing disappointed parents with a bad report card? Fear of doing so has at times given birth to elaborate stall tactics. “I used to put my report card on the kitchen table, go upstairs and try to sleep till the next day,” recalls one youth. “What I’d do,” says another, “is wait till the last second to show it to my mother. I’d take it to her in the morning when she was just about to go to work and say, ‘Here, you’ve got to sign this.’ She didn’t have time to deal with me”—at least not for the moment. Some youths have even forged phony grades on their report cards!
Your parents, though, have a right to know how you are doing in school. Naturally, they expect your grades to reflect your abilities, and if your grades are under par, you can expect to receive well-deserved discipline. So be honest with your parents. And “listen . . . to the discipline of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother.” (Proverbs 1:8) If you think too much is being expected of you, talk it over with them.—See insert entitled “How Can I Tell My Parents?” in Chapter 2.
As important as grades are, they are not the final judgment on your worth as a person. Nevertheless, take advantage of the time you are in school, and learn as much as you can. Usually that effort will be reflected in grades that will make you—and your parents—feel happy and satisfied.
Questions for Discussion
◻ What purpose do grades serve, and why is it important to have a balanced view of them?
◻ Why is it important that you take personal responsibility for learning?
◻ What are some things to consider about taking on afterschool activities?
◻ What are some ways in which you can improve your grades?
◻ How can you prepare for tests?
◻ How should you view failure, and should such failure be concealed from your parents?
[Blurb on page 141]
A youth who manages to get passing grades through guessing, cramming, or even cheating never really learns how to think
[Box/Picture on page 144, 145]
What About Afterschool Activities?
Many young people find that afterschool activities give them a sense of accomplishment. “I was into just about every club there was,” recalls one boy from Baltimore, Maryland (U.S.A.). “It made me feel good to work with things I like. I was in an automotive club because I enjoy working with cars. I like computers, so I joined that club. I like audio, so I joined that club.” College-bound students are particularly urged to participate in afterschool activities.
However, a U.S. federal government official—formerly a teacher himself—told Awake!: “Probably the students spend more time with extracurricular activities than with schoolwork, making it hard to maintain grades.” Yes, it is not easy to maintain balance when it comes to extracurricular activities. Says a girl named Cathy who used to play on the school softball team: “After the practice, I was too tired to do anything else. My schoolwork was affected. So I did not sign up this year.”
There are also spiritual dangers. Says one Christian man looking back on his teen years: “I thought I could harmonize three activities: schoolwork, practice with the track team, and spiritual activities. But the spiritual aspect of my life was sacrificed whenever the three conflicted.”
Young Themon, who was involved in two sports teams at school, agrees: “I could not attend meetings at the [Kingdom] Hall [for spiritual instruction] because Tuesday we were out of town, Thursday we were out of town, Saturday we were out of town and would not get back until two o’clock in the morning.” Though “bodily training is beneficial for a little,” it is vital to remember that “godly devotion is beneficial for all things.”—1 Timothy 4:8.
Think, too, of the moral dangers. Would you be associating with wholesome friends who would be a good moral influence? What would be the subject of conversation? Could the influence of teammates or members of a club have an adverse effect on you? “Bad associations spoil useful habits,” says 1 Corinthians 15:33.
Interestingly, many youths among Jehovah’s Witnesses have chosen to use their afterschool time for something far more beneficial than sports: helping others to know the Creator. Advises Colossians 4:5: “Go on walking in wisdom toward those on the outside, buying out the opportune time for yourselves.”
[Pictures on page 143]
Students often pay for loose study habits . . . with failing grades
[Pictures on page 146]
Balancing afterschool activities with your homework is not easy
[Picture on page 148]
Parents are sure to be upset over a bad report card. But if you feel they are expecting too much of you, talk it over with them
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Why Won’t the Kids Leave Me Alone?Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work
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Chapter 19
Why Won’t the Kids Leave Me Alone?
The boy’s walk is a dead giveaway. Tense and unsure of himself, he is obviously bewildered by his new surroundings. The older students immediately spot him as a new kid in school. Within moments he is surrounded by youths who begin assailing him with obscenities! Crimson from ear to ear, he flees to the nearest sanctuary—the rest room. Laughter echoes off the walls.
HARASSING, teasing, and insulting others are the cruel pastimes of many young ones. Even in Bible times, some youths manifested a mean streak. For example, a group of young boys once harassed the prophet Elisha. Showing contempt for his office, the youths disrespectfully cried out: “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” (2 Kings 2:23-25) Today, many youths are similarly inclined to make insulting, hurtful remarks about others.
“I was the runt of my ninth-grade class,” recalls one of the authors of Growing Pains in the Classroom. “Being the smartest kid and the shortest kid in the room was a disaster combination for junior high: those who didn’t want to hit me for being a runt hit me for being a smart guy. In addition to ‘four eyes,’ I was called ‘a walking dictionary,’ and 800 other epithets [abusive words].” The author of The Loneliness of Children adds: “Children with physical handicaps, speech problems, or obvious physical or behavioral peculiarities are ready targets for teasing by other children.”
Sometimes youths defend themselves by joining in what amounts to a cruel contest: firing increasingly hurtful insults (often regarding the other’s parents) at one another. But many youths are defenseless in the face of peer harassment. One youth recalls that some days, because of teasing and harassment by fellow classmates, he was so scared and unhappy that he ‘thought he would vomit.’ He couldn’t concentrate on his studies for worrying about what the other students would do to him.
No Laughing Matter
Have you been the butt of peer cruelty? Then you may be comforted to know that God does not view it as a laughing matter. Consider the Bible account of a feast that was arranged to celebrate the weaning of Abraham’s son Isaac. Apparently jealous of the inheritance Isaac would receive, Abraham’s older son, Ishmael, began “poking fun” at Isaac. Far from being good-natured fun, however, the teasing amounted to ‘persecution.’ (Galatians 4:29) Isaac’s mother, Sarah, thus sensed hostility in the teasing. She saw it as an affront to Jehovah’s purpose to produce a “seed,” or Messiah, through her son, Isaac. At Sarah’s request, Ishmael and his mother were dismissed from Abraham’s household.—Genesis 21:8-14.
Similarly, it is no laughing matter when youths maliciously harass you—especially when they do so because you endeavor to live by Bible standards. Christian youths, for example, are known for sharing their faith with others. But, as one group of young witnesses of Jehovah said: “The kids in school make fun of us because we preach from door to door, and they put us down for it.” Yes, like faithful servants of God in ancient times, many Christian youths receive a “trial by mockings.” (Hebrews 11:36) They are to be commended for their courage in enduring such reproaches!
Why They Do It
Nevertheless, you may wonder how to make your tormentors leave you alone. First, consider why the teasing takes place. “Even in laughter the heart may be in pain,” says the Bible at Proverbs 14:13. Laughter erupts when a group of youths harass someone. But they are not ‘crying out joyfully because of the good condition of the heart.’ (Isaiah 65:14) Often the laughter is a mere camouflage of inner turmoil. Behind the bravado, the tormentors might really be saying: ‘We don’t like ourselves, but putting someone down makes us feel better.’
Jealousy also prompts the attacks. Recall the Bible’s account of the teenager Joseph, whose own brothers turned on him because he was his father’s favorite. Intense jealousy led not only to verbal abuse but even to the contemplation of murder! (Genesis 37:4, 11, 20) Likewise today, a student who is exceptionally bright or well liked by the teachers may arouse the jealousy of his peers. Insults seem to ‘cut him down to size.’
Insecurity, jealousy, and low self-esteem are thus often the reasons for ridicule. Why, then, should you lose your self-esteem because some insecure youth has lost his?
Halting the Harassment
“Happy is the man that . . . in the seat of ridiculers has not sat,” says the psalmist. (Psalm 1:1) Joining in the ridicule in order to deflect the attention from yourself just prolongs the insult cycle. “Return evil for evil to no one. . . . Keep conquering the evil with the good” is godly advice.—Romans 12:17-21.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 further says: “Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones.” Yes, why should you take teasing so seriously? Granted, it hurts if someone pokes fun at your physique or finds amusement in your facial blemishes. Nevertheless, the remarks, tasteless though they may be, are not necessarily malicious. So if someone innocently—or even perhaps not so innocently—touches upon some sore spot of yours, why be crushed? If what is said is not obscene or irreverent, try to see the humor in it. There is “a time to laugh,” and taking offense at playful teasing may be an overreaction.—Ecclesiastes 3:4.
But what if the teasing is cruel or even vicious? Remember that the ridiculer wants to enjoy your reaction, to revel in your misery. Lashing back, becoming defensive, or bursting into tears is likely to encourage him or her to keep up the harassment. Why give that one the satisfaction of seeing you get upset? The best way to fend off insults is often nonchalantly to ignore them.
King Solomon further said: “Also, do not give your heart to all the words that people may speak [“Don’t pay attention to everything people say”—Today’s English Version], that you may not hear your servant calling down evil upon you. For your own heart well knows even many times that you, even you, have called down evil upon others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21, 22) To “give your heart” to the caustic remarks of the ridiculers would mean to be overly concerned about their judgment of you. Is their judgment valid? The apostle Paul was unfairly attacked by jealous peers, but he replied: “Now to me it is a very trivial matter that I should be examined by you or by a human tribunal. . . . He that examines me is Jehovah.” (1 Corinthians 4:3, 4) Paul’s relationship with God was so strong that he had the confidence and inward strength to withstand unfair attacks.
Letting Your Light Shine
At times you may be mocked because of your way of life as a Christian. Jesus Christ himself had to endure such “contrary talk.” (Hebrews 12:3) Jeremiah too “became an object of laughter all day long” because of boldly speaking Jehovah’s message. So persistent was the harassment that Jeremiah temporarily lost his incentive. “I am not going to make mention of him [Jehovah], and I shall speak no more in his name,” he decided. However, his love for God and truth eventually impelled him to overcome his fear.—Jeremiah 20:7-9.
Some Christian youths today have similarly felt discouraged. Anxious to make the teasing stop, some have tried to conceal the fact that they are Christians. But love for God often finally moves such ones to overcome their fear and to ‘let their light shine’! (Matthew 5:16) One teenage boy, for example, said: “My attitude changed. I stopped viewing being a Christian as a burden to carry around and began to view it as something to be proud of.” You too can “boast” in the privilege of knowing God and of being used by him to help others.—1 Corinthians 1:31.
Do not, however, invite hostility by constantly criticizing others or by giving others the impression that you feel that you are superior. As opportunity arises to share your faith, do so, but with “a mild temper and deep respect.” (1 Peter 3:15) Your reputation for fine conduct may prove to be your greatest protection while you are in school. Though others may not like your courageous stand, they will often begrudgingly respect you for it.
A girl named Vanessa was harassed by a group of girls who would hit her, push her around, knock books out of her hands—all in an attempt to provoke a fight. They even poured a chocolate milk shake over her head and clean white dress. Yet she never gave in to the provocation. Sometime later, Vanessa met the group’s ringleader at a convention of Jehovah’s Witnesses! “I hated you . . . ,” the former bully said. “I wanted to see you lose your cool just once.” However, her curiosity about how Vanessa maintained her composure led to her accepting a study of the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses. “I fell in love with what I learned,” she continued, “and tomorrow I’m getting baptized.”
So do not let “contrary talk” by peers break your spirit. When appropriate, show a sense of humor. Respond to evil with kindness. Refuse to feed the fires of contention, and in time your tormentors may find little pleasure in targeting you for ridicule, for “where there is no wood the fire goes out.”—Proverbs 26:20.
Questions for Discussion
◻ How does God view those who cruelly tease others?
◻ What is often behind youthful harassment?
◻ How can you minimize or even halt the ridicule?
◻ Why is it important that you “let your light shine” in school, even when others tease you?
◻ What steps can you take to protect yourself from violence at school?
[Blurb on page 155]
Behind the bravado, the tormentors might really be saying: ‘We don’t like ourselves, but putting someone down makes us feel better’
[Box on page 152]
How Can I Avoid Getting Beaten Up?
‘You take your life in your hands when you come to school.’ So say many students. But carrying a weapon is foolish and invites trouble. (Proverbs 11:27) How, then, can you protect yourself?
Know and avoid danger spots. Hallways, stairwells, and locker rooms are real trouble spots in some schools. And so notorious are rest rooms as gathering places for fights and drug usage that many youths would rather suffer discomfort than use these facilities.
Watch your associations. Often a youth finds himself in the middle of a fight simply because he associates with the wrong crowd. (See Proverbs 22:24, 25.) Of course, giving the cold shoulder to your schoolmates could alienate them or make them hostile toward you. If you are friendly and polite to them, they may be more inclined to leave you alone.
Walk away from fights. Avoid “forcing one another to a showdown.” (Galatians 5:26, footnote) Even if you come off the victor in a fight, your opponent may simply bide his or her time for a rematch. So first try talking your way out of a fight. (Proverbs 15:1) If talking doesn’t work, walk—or even run—away from a violent confrontation. Remember, “A live dog is better off than a dead lion.” (Ecclesiastes 9:4) As a last resort, take whatever reasonable means are necessary to protect and defend yourself.—Romans 12:18.
Talk to your parents. Youths “seldom report their school terrors to their parents, for fear the parents will think them cowardly or chide them for not standing up to the bullies.” (The Loneliness of Children) Often, though, a parent’s intervention is the only way to stop the trouble.
Pray to God. God does not guarantee you will be spared physical harm. But he can give you the courage to face confrontations and the wisdom needed to cool off the situation.—James 1:5.
[Picture on page 151]
Many youths are the victims of harassment by peers
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The ridiculer wants to revel in your misery. Lashing back or bursting into tears might even encourage further harassment
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Try displaying a sense of humor when being teased
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How Can I Get Along With My Teacher?Questions Young People Ask—Answers That Work
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Chapter 20
How Can I Get Along With My Teacher?
“I CAN’T stand an unfair teacher,” says young Vicky. No doubt you feel the same way. Yet, in a 1981 survey of 160,000 American youths, 76 percent accused their teachers of some sort of favoritism!
Youths are upset when they get low grades for what they feel is high-grade work. They resent it when discipline seems excessive or uncalled for or seems motivated by racial bias. They are angry when special attention or preferential treatment is given to the teacher’s pet.
Granted, teachers are far from infallible. They have their fair share of quirks, problems, and, yes, prejudices. The Bible cautions, however: “Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9) Even teachers “stumble many times. If anyone does not stumble in word, this one is a perfect man, able to bridle also his whole body.” (James 3:2) Could you therefore give your teacher the benefit of the doubt?
A youth named Freddy noticed that his teacher “was snapping at everyone.” Freddy tactfully approached the teacher and found the cause of this surly behavior. “It’s just that I had a problem with my car this morning,” the teacher explained. “It overheated on the way to school and I got to work late.”
Teachers and Their Pets
What about the special favors accorded to teacher’s pets? Bear in mind that a teacher faces unique demands and pressures. The book Being Adolescent describes teachers as facing a “serious predicament” in which they must try to hold the attention of a group of youths “whose minds are usually elsewhere . . . They have before them a group of highly moody, distractible teenagers, generally unaccustomed to concentrating on anything for more than 15 minutes.”
Is it any wonder, then, that a teacher may lavish attention on the student who studies hard, pays attention, or treats him or her with respect? True, it may gall you when seeming ‘apple-polishers’ get more attention than you do. But why be upset or jealous if some diligent student is a teacher’s pet as long as your educational needs are not ignored? Besides, it may be a good idea to be a bit more diligent yourself.
War in the Classroom
Said one student of his teacher: “He kept thinking that we had all declared war on him and decided to get us first. He was one paranoid person.” However, many teachers feel they have a right to be a bit “paranoid.” As the Bible foretold, these are “critical times hard to deal with,” and students are often “without self-control, fierce, without love of goodness.” (2 Timothy 3:1-3) U.S.News & World Report thus said: “Teachers in many urban school districts live with the fear of violence.”
Former teacher Roland Betts says concerning teachers: “Children see it as their inherent responsibility to . . . [figuratively] push them and poke them and see just how far they will bend or stretch before they will finally snap . . . When the children sense that they have pushed a new teacher to within a hair’s breadth of his breaking point, they push some more.” Have you or your classmates been party to teacher harassment? Then don’t be surprised at your teacher’s reaction.
The Bible says: “Mere oppression may make a wise one act crazy.” (Ecclesiastes 7:7) In the atmosphere of fear and disrespect that pervades certain schools, some teachers understandably overreact and become harsh disciplinarians. Observes The Family Handbook of Adolescence: “Students who . . . seem by their behavior to belittle teachers’ beliefs are usually belittled in return.” Yes, the hostile teacher is often molded by his students!
Also, consider the effects of cruel classroom pranks. Young Valerie exaggerates little when she speaks of “the torture, the torment,” youngsters put substitute teachers through. Adds Roland Betts: “Substitutes are hounded unmercifully by their classes, often pushed to the point of cracking and breaking.” Certain that they can get away with it, students delight in having sudden attacks of clumsiness—dropping their books or pencils on the floor in unison. Or they may try to frustrate their teacher by ‘playing dumb’ and acting as if they cannot understand a word he says. “We sabotage for fun,” explains young Bobby.
Nevertheless, if you sow classroom cruelty, don’t be surprised if you reap a mean, hostile teacher. (Compare Galatians 6:7.) Remember the golden rule: “All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them.” (Matthew 7:12) Refuse to join in classroom pranks. Be attentive to what your teacher says. Be cooperative. Perhaps in time he will feel a little less hostile—at least toward you.
‘My Teacher Doesn’t Like Me’
At times a clash of personalities or some sort of misunderstanding sets your teacher against you; inquisitiveness is confused with rebellion or a touch of whimsy with foolishness. And if a teacher dislikes you, he may be inclined to embarrass or humiliate you. Mutual animosity may flourish.
The Bible says: “Return evil for evil to no one. . . . If possible, as far as it depends upon you, be peaceable with all men.” (Romans 12:17, 18) Try not to antagonize your teacher. Avoid needless confrontations. Give your teacher no legitimate cause for complaint. In fact, try to be friendly. ‘Friendly? To him?’ you ask. Yes, show manners by respectfully greeting your teacher when you come to class. Your persistent politeness—even a smile from time to time—just might change his opinion of you.—Compare Romans 12:20, 21.
True, you cannot always smile your way out of a situation. But Ecclesiastes 10:4 does advise: “If the spirit of a ruler [or person in authority] should mount up against you [by chastising you], do not leave your own place, for calmness itself allays great sins.” Remember, too, that “an answer, when mild, turns away rage.”—Proverbs 15:1.
‘I Deserved a Better Grade’
This is a common complaint. Try talking out the problem with your teacher. The Bible tells of how Nathan approached the difficult task of exposing a serious shortcoming on the part of King David. Nathan did not barge into the palace shouting accusations, but he approached David tactfully.—2 Samuel 12:1-7.
You might likewise humbly, and calmly, approach your teacher. Former schoolteacher Bruce Weber reminds us: “Rebellion in a student provokes obstinacy in a teacher. If you rant and rave or claim gross injustice and vow revenge, you’ll get nowhere.” Try a more adult approach. Maybe you can begin by asking your teacher to help you understand his grading system. Then, says Weber, you can “try to prove yourself the victim of an oversight or miscalculation rather than of bad judgment. Use your teacher’s own grading system; show her where you see the error in your grade.” Even if your grade is not changed, your maturity will probably make a positive impression upon your teacher.
Let Your Parents Know
At times, though, mere talk proves fruitless. Take Susan’s experience. As an honor student, she was shocked when one of her teachers started giving her failing grades. The problem? Susan was one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and her teacher as much as admitted that she disliked Susan because of this. “It was really frustrating,” says Susan, “and I didn’t know what to do.”
Recalls Susan: “I gathered up courage and told my mother [a single parent] about this teacher. She said, ‘Well, maybe I can talk to your teacher.’ And during open house she went up and asked my teacher what the problem was. I thought my mother was really going to get upset, but she didn’t. She just calmly talked to her.” The teacher arranged for Susan to have a different teacher.
Admittedly, not all tangled affairs have neat endings, and at times you just have to endure. But if you can coexist peaceably with your teacher this term, there is always next year, when you’ll have a fresh start, perhaps different classmates—and perhaps even a new teacher to learn to get along with.
Questions for Discussion
◻ How can you view a teacher who treats you unfairly?
◻ Why do teachers often heap attention on so-called pets?
◻ How can you learn from a teacher who seems boring?
◻ Why do some teachers seem hostile toward their students?
◻ How can you apply the golden rule in the classroom?
◻ What can you do if you feel you are a victim of unfair grading or treatment?
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