Young People Ask . . .

How Can I Cope With My Disability?

“SHE can still walk,” says the mother of a young girl we’ll call Maggie. “But her coordination is off, and her speech is slurred.” Maggie has multiple sclerosis and is one of the millions of youths the world over who suffer a physical impairment.

Perhaps you are one of them. And whether you were born with a disability or you acquired it as the result of illness or accident,a there is no need to conclude that your life is over. With patient effort on your part, you can take positive steps to cope effectively with your situation.

The Snare of Wishful Thinking

Of course, it is human nature not to want to accept an unpleasant reality but to wistfully hope that the impairment will simply go away. The apostle Paul apparently suffered some sort of illness that affected his eyesight. (Compare Galatians 6:11.) Referring to his first visit to Christians in Galatia, Paul said: “It was through a sickness of my flesh I declared the good news to you the first time. And what was a trial to you in my flesh, you did not treat with contempt or spit at in disgust.” (Galatians 4:13, 14) Some scholars think that Paul’s affliction caused his eyes to ooze pus or in some way made his appearance offensive. It is no surprise, then, that Paul “three times entreated the Lord” that the illness depart. But it did not. (2 Corinthians 12:8, 9) In spite of his disability, though, he enjoyed an outstanding career as a missionary, scholar, and writer.

You too may have to come to terms with the permanence of your impairment. In the book Living With the Disabled, author Jan Coombs writes: “For the patient to adjust to his disability he must first acknowledge that he is disabled. He must learn that his limitation may restrict and inconvenience him but does not devalue him as a person.” If there is no legitimate hope for a cure, denying the reality of your condition will only serve to bog you down in a quagmire of self-blame, misery, and disappointment. On the other hand, “wisdom is with the modest ones,” says the Bible at Proverbs 11:2, and a modest person knows and accepts his limitations. This does not mean becoming a hermit or settling for a drab, joyless existence. Rather, modesty entails honestly assessing your situation and setting realistic goals.

Act With Knowledge

You also need accurate knowledge of the nature of your disability. “Everyone shrewd will act with knowledge,” says Proverbs 13:16. (Compare Proverbs 10:14.) This may mean reading some medical literature or asking specific questions of your doctor and other health professionals who treat you. Educating yourself in this regard can relieve you of any misconceptions that could hold you back from reaching your potential.

It may also help to keep abreast of medical developments and treatments that could improve your situation. For example, artificial limbs (prostheses) using new, lightweight materials have been developed that allow greater comfort and flexibility of movement. Indeed, Time magazine reports an “explosion” of helpful devices for individuals with disabilities. Perhaps such products are available locally and are within your family’s budget.

More conventional devices, such as hearing aids, canes, crutches, and braces, may also be quite useful. Now, some youths may feel too self-conscious and awkward to use such aids. But King Solomon wisely observed: “If your ax is dull and you don’t sharpen it, you have to work harder to use it.” (Ecclesiastes 10:10; Today’s English Version) You could likewise wear yourself out​—or hold yourself back from enjoyable activities—​if you fail to make good use of the tools that can help you. Why let pride cause you to make your life more difficult than it has to be? Solomon concluded by saying: “The using of wisdom to success means advantage.”

Yes, it is to your advantage to use something that will help you walk, see, or hear better. True, it may take considerable practice and patience to master using a crutch, prosthesis, or hearing aid. And these devices may not necessarily do much to enhance your looks. But think about the freedom they can give you and the opportunities they may open up! One disabled African girl named Jay lived the life of a recluse, venturing out of the small compound where she lived only once in her 18 years. After studying the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses, she began attending Christian meetings. This required her to “walk” several blocks, pulling herself forward by her hands, dragging her torso behind her. When a Witness in Europe learned of Jay’s plight, she sent her a three-wheeled wheelchair. It came with a chain drive that Jay could operate with her hands. Glamorous? Hardly. But this seemingly awkward mode of transport allowed her to go to meetings and to share in the door-to-door preaching work.

Challenge Yourself!

Beware, though, of developing a negative mental attitude. Said wise King Solomon: “He that is watching the wind will not sow seed; and he that is looking at the clouds will not reap.” (Ecclesiastes 11:4) Do you allow fear or uncertainty to hold you back from doing the things you want and need to do? Consider Moses. When God selected him to deliver the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, Moses tried to beg off on the basis of having a speech impairment. “I am uncircumcised in lips,” said Moses, possibly indicating some deformity that muffled his speech. (Exodus 6:12) But Moses was underestimating himself. In time, he proved that he was able to speak fluently​—addressing the entire nation of Israel.​—Deuteronomy 1:1.

Do not make the same mistake of selling yourself short. Push and challenge yourself! Young Becky, for example, has some difficulty speaking because of injuries she received in an accident that occurred at age five. But her parents did not allow her to give up. On the contrary, they enrolled her in the Theocratic Ministry School at the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses. By age seven, Becky was giving brief talks before an audience. Recalls Becky: “Giving talks helped. It motivated me to work harder on my speech.” Becky was also encouraged to have a full share in the house-to-house preaching work. “I sometimes think people must really hate to hear me speak; I worry about what they think. But then I tell myself, ‘I’m doing this for Jehovah,’ and I ask him to help me get through it.” Today, Becky serves as a full-time evangelizer.

Craig, now an adult, suffers from cerebral palsy. He too has refused to allow his disability to hold him back from being a valued member of the Christian congregation. He says: “I rely on Jehovah, and he has allowed me to enjoy many of his blessings. I have been able to serve as an auxiliary pioneer [evangelizer] five times. I give Bible lectures on the Theocratic Ministry School, and I am able to handle the congregation accounts.”

There is also “a time to laugh,” and with some practice, you may even be able to enjoy some of the fun activities other youths enjoy. (Ecclesiastes 3:4) Admits Becky: “I can’t play sports like volleyball because my reflexes are so slow. But I can run. And shortly after the accident, my mom encouraged me to learn how to ride a bike. She always encouraged me to try new things.”

Don’t Go It Alone

Coping with a physical disability is not easy. The apostle Paul called his impairment “a thorn in the flesh.” (2 Corinthians 12:7) Fortunately, you don’t have to face your problems alone. Sarne, a young woman with a hip deformity, says: “I find that having proper Christian association and loving support from family and from friends in the congregation has been invaluable to me.” Yes, do not isolate yourself. (Proverbs 18:1) To the extent possible, have “plenty to do in the work of the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:58) Sarne describes the benefit: “Being active in Kingdom pursuits helps me have the proper view of my problems.” Becky observes: “You get to talk to people who are really worse off than you because they don’t have a hope for the future. That helps me take my mind off myself.”

Above all, look to Jehovah God for support. He understands your needs and your feelings and can even provide you with “the power beyond what is normal” to help you cope. (2 Corinthians 4:7) Perhaps you may in time have the optimistic viewpoint of a disabled Christian youth named Terrence. At age nine, Terrence lost his vision but has refused to let it get the best of him, saying: “My blindness is not a handicap; it’s just an inconvenience.”

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