“Wishimire umugore w’ubusore bwawe”

“Wishimire umugore w’ubusore bwawe. Mwana wanjye, kuki wakwishimira umugore w’inzaduka?”—IMIGANI 5:18, 20.

1, 2. Kuki twavuga ko urukundo rushingiye ku mibonano mpuzabitsina umugabo agirana n’umugore we ruhirwa?

BIBILIYA ivuga iby’imibonano mpuzabitsina yeruye. Mu Migani 5:18, 19 hagira hati “isōko yawe ihirwe, kandi wishimire umugore w’ubusore bwawe. Nk’imparakazi ikundwa n’isirabo nziza, amabere ye ahore akunezeza, kandi ujye wishimira cyane urukundo rwe.”

² “Isōko” ivugwa aha ngaha yerekeza ku gituma umuntu anyurwa mu gihe cy’imibonano mpuzabitsina. Irahirwa kubera ko urukundo n’umunezero mwinshi bizanwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina umugabo agirana n’umugore we, ari impano ituruka ku Mana. Iyo mibonano mpuzabitsina ariko, yemerewe gusa umugabo n’umugore bashyingiranywe. Ni yo mpamvu Salomo, umwami wa Isirayeli ya kera, akaba n’umwanditsi w’Imigani, yabajije ikibazo kidufasha gutekereza ati “kuki wakwishimira umugore w’inzaduka, ukagira ngo uhoberane na we?”—Imigani 5:20.

 3. (a) Ni ikihe kintu kibabaje kibaho mu bashakanye benshi? (b) Ni gute Imana ibona ubusambanyi?

³ Ku munsi w’ishyingiranwa, umugabo n’umugore bagirana amasezerano akomeye yo gukundana kandi buri wese agakomeza kubera mugenzi we indahemuka. Nyamara kandi, ingo nyinshi zisenywa n’ubusambanyi. Mu by’ukuri, hari umushakashatsi wavuze ko “25 ku ijana by’abagore na 44 ku ijana by’abagabo, bagiye baca inyuma abo bashakanye.” Uwo mwanzuro yawugezeho amaze gukora ubushakashatsi incuro 25. Intumwa Pawulo yaravuze ati “ntimwishuke. Abahehesi cyangwa abasenga ibishushanyo cyangwa abasambanyi, cyangwa ibitingwa cyangwa abagabo bendana . . . ntibazaragwa ubwami bw’Imana” (1 Abakorinto 6:9, 10). Ibyo birumvikana. Ubusambanyi ni icyaha gikomeye mu maso y’Imana kandi abantu bayisenga by’ukuri bagomba kwirinda guca inyuma abo bashakanye. Ni iki kizadufasha gutuma ‘ishyingiranwa [ryacu] rikomeza kubahwa, kandi uburiri bw’abashakanye ntibugire ikibwanduza?’—Abaheburayo 13:4, NW.

Irinde umutima ushukana

 4. Ni mu buhe buryo bumwe na bumwe Abakristo bashatse bashobora kugirana agakungu n’abo batashakanye batabigambiriye?

⁴ Muri iyi minsi aho abantu bataye umuco, abenshi bafite ‘amaso yuzuye ubusambanyi adahaga ibyaha’ (2 Petero 2:14). Bakunda gukungika n’abo batashakanye. Mu bihugu bimwe, abagore benshi bahagurukiye gushaka akazi, kandi kuba abagabo n’abagore bakorera hamwe byagiye bituma haboneka uburyo bwo gukungika. Nanone kandi, ibiganiro byo kuri interineti byatumye n’abantu basanzwe bagira isoni cyane batangira kugirana n’abandi ubucuti bukomeye. Abantu benshi bashatse bagwa muri bene iyo mitego batazi ibyo barimo.

5, 6. Ni gute Umukristokazi yaje kugera mu mimerere iteje akaga, kandi se ibyo bitwigisha iki?

⁵ Reka turebe ukuntu Umukristokazi turi bwite Mary yageze mu mimerere yari igiye gutuma asambana hakabura gato. Umugabo we, utari Umuhamya wa Yehova, urebye ntiyakundaga umuryango we. Mary yibuka ko mu myaka runaka ishize yamenyanye n’umwe mu bagabo bakoranaga n’umugabo we. Uwo mugabo yari umuntu ugira ikinyabupfura cyane, kandi nyuma yaho yaje gushimishwa n’imyizerere ya Mary. Mary yagize ati “yari umuntu mwiza cyane, ku buryo yari atandukanye rwose n’umugabo wanjye.” Ntibyatinze, Mary n’uwo mugabo batangira kugirana agakungu. Mary yaratekerezaga ati “sinasambanye, kandi uyu mugabo ashimishijwe na Bibiliya. Wenda nshobora kumufasha.”

⁶ Mary yagaruye agatima atarasambana n’uwo bari bakungitse (Abagalatiya 5:19-21; Abefeso 4:19). Umutimanama we watangiye gukora, maze asubiza ibintu mu buryo. Ibyabaye kuri Mary bigaragaza ko “umutima w’umuntu urusha ibintu byose gushukana, kandi [ko] ufite indwara ntiwizere gukira” (Yeremiya 17:9). Bibiliya idutera inkunga igira iti “rinda umutima wawe kuruta ibindi byose birindwa” (Imigani 4:23). Ibyo twabigeraho dute?

‘Umunyamakenga arikinga’

 7. Mu gihe ufasha umuntu ufitanye ibibazo n’uwo bashakanye, ni iyihe nama yo mu Byanditswe wakurikiza bikakubera uburinzi?

⁷ Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse ati “uwibwira ko ahagaze, yirinde atagwa” (1 Abakorinto 10:12). Mu Migani 22:3 hagira hati “umunyamakenga iyo abonye ibibi bije arabyikinga.” Aho kugira ngo ukabye kwiyiringira utekereza uti ‘nta kizambaho,’ ibyiza ni uko watekereza ku mimerere ishobora kuguteza ibibazo. Urugero, ujye wirinda kuba umunyamabanga w’umuntu mudahuje igitsina ufitanye ibibazo bikomeye n’uwo bashakanye (Imigani 11:14). Bwira uwo muntu ko ibyiza ari uko yaganira n’uwo bashakanye ibibazo bafite, cyangwa akareba Umukristo ukuze bahuje igitsina wifuza ko ishyingiranwa ryabo ryakomera, cyangwa se akabiganiraho n’abasaza (Tito 2:3, 4). Abasaza mu matorero y’Abahamya ba Yehova batanga urugero rwiza mu birebana n’ibyo. Iyo umusaza ashaka kuganira n’Umukristokazi bari bonyine, abikorera aho abandi bababona, urugero nko ku Nzu y’Ubwami.

 8. Ni gute umuntu yagira amakenga ku kazi?

⁸ Ujye wirinda imimerere yatuma ukungika n’umuntu, haba ku kazi ndetse n’ahandi. Urugero, gusigara ukorana n’umuntu mudahuje igitsina nyuma y’amasaha y’akazi bishobora kugusha umuntu mu bishuko. Kubera ko uri umugabo cyangwa umugore washatse, wagombye kugaragaza neza, haba mu magambo no mu myitwarire yawe, ko udashobora kugirana agakungu n’uwo mutashakanye. Kubera ko wubaha Imana, nta gushidikanya ko utifuza kugira uwo ureshya umugaragariza urukundo rw’agahararo, wambara cyangwa wirimbisha mu buryo budashyize mu gaciro (1 Timoteyo 4:8; 6:11; 1 Petero 3:3, 4). Kugira amafoto y’uwo mwashakanye n’abana banyu aho ukorera bizajya bikwibutsa ko umuryango wawe ari wo ushyira imbere, kandi bitume n’abandi babibona. Iyemeze kutazigera uha urwaho amareshyo y’umuntu ushaka ko mugirana agakungu, cyangwa ngo uyafate nk’aho nta cyo atwaye.—Yobu 31:1.

“Wishimane n’umugore wawe ukunda”

 9. Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutuma umuntu yumva ashaka gukungika n’uwo batashakanye?

⁹ Kurinda umutima ntibisaba gusa kwirinda imimerere iteje akaga. Iyo umuntu ashatse gukungika n’uwo batashakanye, bishobora kuba bigaragaza ko hagati y’umugabo n’umugore we harimo utita ku byo undi akeneye. Birashoboka ko umugabo yaba atita ku mugore we, cyangwa umugore akaba ahora anenga umugabo we. Noneho mu buryo butari bwitezwe, umwe muri bo agahurira ku kazi cyangwa mu itorero rya gikristo n’undi muntu usa n’aho afite imico yabuze ku wo bashakanye. Ako kanya agahita amukunda, maze ubucuti bwabo bugakomera, bakananirwa kubuhagarika. Utwo tuntu duto duto tuba twabaye, duhamya ukuri kw’amagambo ya Bibiliya agira ati “umuntu wese yoshywa iyo akuruwe n’ibyo ararikiye bimushukashuka.”—Yakobo 1:14.

10. Ni gute abagabo n’abagore bashakanye batuma imishyikirano bafitanye ikomera?

¹⁰ Aho kugira ngo umugabo n’umugore we bashakire ibyo bifuza ku bo batashakanye, byaba urukundo, ubucuti, cyangwa ubufasha igihe havutse ingorane, bagombye gushyiraho umwete kugira ngo bakomeze urukundo rwabo. Mukore uko mushoboye rero mumarane igihe, kandi buri wese yishyikire ku wundi. Mujye mutekereza ku cyatumye mukundana. Jya ugerageza kwibuka umunezero waterwaga n’uwo waje gushakana na we. Tekereza ku bihe byiza mwagiye mumarana. Senga Imana uyibwira ikibazo mufite. Umwanditsi wa zaburi yinginze Yehova agira ati “Mana, undememo umutima wera, unsubizemo umutima ukomeye” (Zaburi 51:12). Iyemeze ‘kwishimana n’umugore wawe ukunda iminsi yose uzamara ukiriho, iyo Imana yaguhaye munsi y’ijuru.’—Umubwiriza 9:9.

11. Ni uruhe ruhare ubumenyi, ubwenge n’ubushishozi bigira mu gukomeza urukundo rw’abashakanye?

¹¹ Ntukirengagize agaciro ubumenyi, ubwenge n’ubushishozi bigira mu gukomeza urugo. Mu Migani 24:3, 4 hagira hati “ubwenge ni bwo bwubaka urugo, kandi rukomezwa no kujijuka. Kumenya ni ko kuzuza amazu yo muri rwo, mo ibintu byose by’igiciro cyinshi n’iby’igikundiro.” Mu bintu by’agaciro biranga urugo rwishimye, harimo imico nk’iyi: urukundo, ubudahemuka, gutinya Imana no kugira ukwizera. Ibyo umuntu abigeraho ari uko afite ubumenyi ku byerekeye Imana. Ku bw’ibyo, abashakanye bagombye kuba abantu bagira umwete wo kwiga Bibiliya. Ariko se ni akahe gaciro ubwenge n’ubushishozi bifite? Kugira ngo umuntu akemure ibibazo ahura na byo buri munsi, bisaba kugira ubwenge; ni ukuvuga ubushobozi bwo gukoresha ubumenyi bw’Ibyanditswe. Umuntu ushishoza ashobora gusobanukirwa ibitekerezo by’uwo bashakanye akamenya n’uko yumva amerewe (Imigani 20:5). Binyuze kuri Salomo, Yehova yaravuze ati “mwana wanjye ita ku bwenge bwanjye, tegera ugutwi ubuhanga bwanjye.”—Imigani 5:1.

Mu gihe cy’“imibabaro”

12. Kuki bidatangaje ko abashakanye bagirana ibibazo?

¹² Abashakanye ntibabura ibibazo. Ndetse Bibiliya ivuga ko abagabo n’abagore bazagira “imibabaro mu mubiri” (1 Abakorinto 7:28). Imihangayiko, indwara, gutotezwa n’ibindi bintu bishobora gutuma abashakanye bagira ibibazo. Icyakora niba havutse ibibazo, mwembi muba mukwiriye kubishakira umuti, muri indahemuka zishaka gushimisha Yehova.

13. Ni mu biki umugabo n’umugore we bakwisuzuma?

¹³ Byagenda bite se abashakanye bagize ibibazo bitewe n’ukuntu buri wese mu bashakanye afata mugenzi we? Kubishakira umuti bisaba imbaraga nyinshi. Urugero, birashoboka ko umugabo n’umugore baba baragiye babwirana amagambo mabi, none ubu bakaba barabigize akamenyero (Imigani 12:18). Nk’uko twabibonye mu ngingo yabanjirije iyi, ibyo bishobora kugira ingaruka mbi. Hari umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugira uti “kwibera ku gasozi kadatuwe, kuruta kubana n’umugore w’umwaga utera intonganya” (Imigani 21:19). Niba uri umugore mu rugo rumeze nk’urwo, ibaze uti ‘ese ni jye utuma umugabo wanjye ananirwa kumarana nanjye igihe?’ Bibiliya ibwira abagabo iti “mukunde abagore banyu ntimubasharirire” (Abakolosayi 3:19). Niba uri umugabo, ibaze uti ‘ese umugore wanjye ashakira ihumure ahandi kubera ko ntazi kumwitaho?’ Birumvikana ko nta mpamvu yaba urwitwazo rwo kwishora mu bwiyandarike. Ariko kubera ko ibyo bishobora kubaho, ni ngombwa kuganira ku bibazo mufite nta wugize icyo akinga undi.

14, 15. Kuki gushaka ihumure umuntu akungika n’uwo batashakanye atari wo muti w’ibibazo biri hagati ye n’uwo bashakanye?

¹⁴ Iyo umuntu ashatse ihumure akungika n’uwo batashakanye, ntibikemura ikibazo afitanye n’uwo bashakanye. Ni hehe iyo mishyikirano yabageza? Yabageza se ku ishyingiranwa rishya kandi ryiza kurusha irya mbere? Hari abashobora kubitekereza batyo. Bashobora kuvuga bati ‘ibyo ari byo byose, uyu muntu afite imico nifuza ku wo twabana.’ Ariko iyo mitekerereze si yo, kubera ko umuntu uta uwo bashakanye, cyangwa ugutera inkunga yo guta uwo mwashakanye, aba yirengagiza cyane ko ishyingiranwa ari iryera. Ntibihuje n’ubwenge kwitega ko imishyikirano nk’iyo yazavamo ishyingiranwa ryiza kurushaho.

¹⁵ Mary twigeze kuvuga, yatekereje cyane ku ngaruka z’imyifatire ye, harimo no kuba yatuma Imana itamwemera, cyangwa akaba yanatuma undi muntu atemerwa n’Imana (Abagalatiya 6:7). Yaravuze ati “natangiye gusuzuma urukundo nari mfitiye uwo mugabo wakoranaga n’umugabo wanjye, nza kubona ko niba uwo muntu yarashoboraga kumenya ukuri, ubwo namuberaga inzitizi. Imyifatire mibi yari kutugiraho ingaruka mbi twese kandi ikagusha n’abandi!”—2 Abakorinto 6:3.

Impamvu ikomeye kurusha izindi yo kudaca inyuma uwo mwashakanye

16. Zimwe mu ngaruka zo kwiyandarika ni izihe?

¹⁶ Bibiliya itanga umuburo ugira uti “kuko iminwa y’umugore w’inzaduka itonyanga ubuki, kandi akanwa ke karusha amavuta koroha, ariko hanyuma asharīra nk’umuravumba, agira ubugi nk’ubw’inkota ityaye” (Imigani 5:3, 4). Ingaruka z’ubwiyandarike zirababaza kandi zishobora kwica. Muri zo twavuga nko kugira umutimanama uducira urubanza, indwara zandurira mu myanya ndangagitsina no kuba umwe mu bashakanye wahemukiwe yumva ashenguwe n’agahinda. Nta gushidikanya, izo ni impamvu zatuma umuntu adatera intambwe zatuma aca inyuma uwo bashakanye.

17. Ni iyihe mpamvu ikomeye ituma umuntu adaca inyuma uwo bashakanye?

¹⁷ Impamvu y’ibanze ituma guca inyuma uwo mwashakanye biba bibi, ni uko Yehova, we watangije umuryango kandi agatanga ubushobozi bwo kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina, abyanga. Binyuze ku muhanuzi Malaki, Yehova yaravuze ati “nzabegera nce urubanza, nzabanguka gushinja . . . abasambanyi” (Malaki 3:5). Mu Migani 5:21 havuga ibirebana n’ibyo Yehova abona hagira hati “kuko imigendere y’umuntu iri imbere y’amaso y’Uwiteka, kandi ni we umenya imigenzereze ye yose.” Ni koko, ibintu “byose bitwikuruwe nk’ibyambaye ubusa mu maso y’Izatubaza ibyo twakoze” (Abaheburayo 4:13). Ku bw’ibyo, impamvu ikomeye kurusha izindi ituma umuntu adaca inyuma uwo bashakanye, ni ukumenya ko, yabikora mu ibanga, byagira ingaruka nke kuri we cyangwa ku bandi, ubwiyandarike bwangiza imishyikirano tugirana na Yehova.

18, 19. Ni irihe somo tuvana ku byabaye kuri Yozefu n’umugore wa Potifari?

¹⁸ Urugero rwa Yozefu, umuhungu w’umukurambere Yakobo, rwerekana ko icyifuzo cyo gukomeza kugirana n’Imana imishyikirano irangwa n’amahoro ari yo mpamvu ikomeye yo kudaca inyuma uwo mwashakanye. Kuba Yozefu yari umutoni kwa Potifari wari umutware kwa Farawo, byatumye ahabwa umwanya ukomeye mu rugo rwa Potifari. Nanone kandi, kuba “Yozefu yari mwiza wese, afite mu maso heza,” ntibyisobaga umugore wa Potifari. Buri munsi yoshyoshyaga Yozefu ngo baryamane, ariko imihati ye igapfa ubusa. Ni iki cyatumye Yozefu ananira amareshyo y’uwo mugore yose? Bibiliya ibitubwira muri aya magambo ngo “ariyangira, abwira nyirabuja ati ‘dore databuja . . . nta cyo yasize ngo akinyime keretse wowe, kuko uri umugore we. None nabasha nte gukora icyaha gikomeye gityo, ngacumura ku Mana?’”—Itangiriro 39:1-12.

¹⁹ Yozefu utari warashatse, yirinze ubwiyandarike yanga kuryamana n’umugore w’undi mugabo. Mu Migani 5:15 hagira inama abagabo bashatse hati “ujye unywa amazi y’iriba ryawe, amazi ava mu isōko wifukuriye.” Irinde ndetse kugwa mu mutego wo gukungika n’uwo mutashakanye utabigambiriye. Shyiraho imihati kugira ngo urukundo rwawe n’uwo mwashakanye rukomere, kandi muhatanire gukemura ibibazo ibyo ari byo byose bishobora kuvuka hagati yanyu. Ariko uko byagenda kose, “wishimire umugore w’ubusore bwawe.”—Imigani 5:18.

Ni iki wamenye?

• Ni gute Umukristo ashobora kugwa mu mutego wo gukungika n’uwo batashakanye atabigambiriye?

• Ni izihe ngamba umuntu yafata kugira ngo adakungika n’uwo batashakanye?

• Ni iki umugabo n’umugore we bakora igihe bafitanye ibibazo?

• Ni iyihe mpamvu ikomeye kurusha izindi ituma umuntu adaca inyuma uwo bashakanye?

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 26]

Ikibabaje ni uko aho umuntu akora hashobora gutuma agirana agakungu n’uwo batashakanye

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 28]

‘Kumenya ni ko kuzuza mu mazu yo mu rugo ibintu byose by’igikundiro’