Mu gihe ishyingiranwa rigeze aharindimuka

1, 2. Mu gihe umuntu afitanye ibibazo n’uwo bashakanye, ni ikihe kibazo aba akwiriye kwibaza?

MU MWAKA wa 1988 Umutaliyanikazi witwa Lucia yari yihebye cyane.a Nyuma y’imyaka icumi yari amaranye n’umugabo we, byari bibaye ngombwa ko batandukana. Ni kenshi yagerageje kwiyunga n’umugabo we ariko bikanga. Kubera ukuntu batari bahuje, yaje gutandukana n’umugabo we asigara ahanganye n’ikibazo cyo kurera abakobwa be bombi wenyine. Iyo Lucia ashubije amaso inyuma, agira ati “nabonaga rwose nta cyari kutubuza gutana.”

² Niba ufitanye ibibazo n’uwo mwashakanye, ushobora kwiyumvisha neza uko Lucia yumvaga ameze. Ushobora kuba ufite ibibazo mu muryango wawe ukaba wibaza niba hari ikizabikemura bikakuyobera. Niba ari uko bimeze, byaba ari ingirakamaro wibajije uti “ese naba nkurikiza inama nziza zose zatanzwe n’Imana ziri muri Bibiliya zishobora gutuma ngira urugo rwiza?”—Zaburi 119:105.

 3. N’ubwo gutana kw’abashakanye ari ibintu byogeye muri iki gihe, byagaragaye ko nyuma y’aho bibagendekera bite bo n’imiryango yabo?

³ Iyo umugabo n’umugore bafitanye ibibazo bitoroshye, ikintu baba babona ko cyahita gikemura ibibazo byabo ni ugutana. Nyamara ariko n’ubwo mu bihugu byinshi umubare w’abatana wiyongera mu buryo bukabije, haherutse gukorwa ubushakashatsi maze basanga ko abenshi mu bagabo n’abagore batanye n’abo bashakanye babyicuza cyane. Abenshi muri bo usanga bafite ibibazo byinshi by’uburwayi, bwaba uburwayi busanzwe cyangwa ubwo mu mutwe, kuruta abagumana n’abo bashakanye. Iyo ababyeyi batanye, abana babo usanga bafite ibibazo ndetse batishimye kandi akenshi bakabimarana imyaka n’imyaka. Ababyeyi n’incuti b’abo bagabo n’abagore batandukana na bo barahababarira. Imana se yo yatangije ishyingiranwa yaba ibibona ite?

 4. Ibibazo biba hagati y’abashakanye bigomba gukemurwa bite?

⁴ Nk’uko twabibonye mu bice byabanjirije iki, Imana yari ifite umugambi w’uko abashakanye babana iteka n’iteka (Itangiriro 2:24). None se, kuki ingo nyinshi zisenyuka? Nta bwo ari ibintu bipfa kuba gutya gusa. Akenshi haba hari ibimenyetso bigaragaza ko ishyingiranwa rigeze habi. Utubazo ubusanzwe ubona ko ari duto dushobora kugenda dukura tukazavamo ibibazo bitoroshye bisa rwose n’aho bidashobora gukemuka. Ariko iyo ibyo bibazo bihise bikemurwa abantu bifashishije Bibiliya, bishobora gutuma inyinshi mu ngo zidasenyuka.

 5. Ni iki abantu bagomba kumenya ku birebana n’ishyingirwa?

⁵ Ikintu kimwe kijya giteza ibibazo ni iyo umwe mu bashakanye cyangwa se bombi biteze ibitangaza kuri mugenzi wabo. Ibitabo bivuga iby’urukundo, ibinyamakuru bizwi cyane, ibiganiro bica kuri televiziyo n’amafilimi bishobora gutuma umuntu yiringira cyangwa akajya arota ibintu bidafite aho bihuriye n’ukuri. Iyo izo nzozi zidasohoye, umuntu ashobora kumva ko bamuriganyije, ntanyurwe ndetse rwose akanazinukwa. None se ubwo abantu babiri badatunganye bagira bate ibyishimo mu ishyingiranwa ryabo? Kugira ngo abantu babane neza bisaba gushyiraho imihati.

 6. (a) Ni mu buhe buryo Bibiliya igaragaza ishyingiranwa uko riri koko? (b) Ni ibihe bintu bimwe na bimwe bijya bitera ubwumvikane buke hagati y’abashakanye?

⁶ Bibiliya ivuga ibintu bihwitse rwose. Ivuga ibyishimo abashakanye bagira, ariko nanone ikababurira ko “bazagira imibabaro mu mubiri” (1 Abakorinto 7:28). Nk’uko twamaze kubibona, bombi baba ari abantu badatunganye kandi babangukirwa no gukora amakosa. Buri wese aba afite imitekerereze, ibyiyumvo n’uburere bitandukanye n’iby’undi. Abashakanye bakunda kutumvikana ku birebana n’amafaranga, abana ndetse na bene wabo. Kutabona igihe gihagije cyo gukorera ibintu hamwe n’ibibazo birebana n’imibonano mpuzabitsina na byo bishobora kuba intandaro y’ubwumvikane buke.b Gukemura ibyo bibazo bifata igihe, ariko ntucike intege! Abagabo n’abagore benshi bashakanye babasha guhangana n’ibyo bibazo kandi bagafatanyiriza hamwe kubikemura uko bikwiriye.

7, 8. Niba abashakanye barakaranyije cyangwa hakaba hari ikintu batumvikanyeho neza, ni ubuhe buryo buhuje n’Ibyanditswe bwo gukemura ibyo bibazo?

⁷ Hari abantu benshi bitajya byorohera gukomeza gutuza iyo bavuga ku kintu cyabababaje, ku bintu undi muntu yafashe uko bitari cyangwa se no ku makosa yabo bwite baba bakoze. Aho kugira ngo umwe mu bashakanye ahite avuga ati “wabifashe uko bitari,” ashobora kurakara agakuririza ikibazo. Abenshi bashobora kuvuga bati “urikunda,” cyangwa se ngo “ntunkunda.” Undi we kuko aba adashaka ko bajya impaka, ashobora guceceka ntagire icyo asubiza.

⁸ Ikintu cyiza kuruta ibindi umuntu yakora ni ugukurikiza inama yo muri Bibiliya igira iti “nimurakara ntimugakore icyaha, izuba ntirikarenge mukirakaye” (Abefeso 4:26). Hari umugabo n’umugore bafite ibyishimo mu rugo rwabo babajijwe ibanga ry’ibyishimo byabo, ubwo bizihizaga imyaka 60 bari bamaze bashyingiranywe. Umugabo yaravuze ati “twitoje gukemura ikintu cyose tutumvikanyeho mbere yo kujya kuryama, yemwe n’iyo kaba ari akantu gato cyane.”

 9. (a) Ni ikihe kintu Ibyanditswe bigaragaza ko ari icy’ingenzi kuruta ibindi mu gihe abantu baganira? (b) Ni iki akenshi abashakanye baba basabwa gukora n’ubwo bisaba ubutwari no kwicisha bugufi?

⁹ Mu gihe umugabo n’umugore bafite ikintu batumvikanaho, buri wese aba agomba ‘kwihutira kumva ariko agatinda kuvuga kandi agatinda kurakara’ (Yakobo 1:19). Buri wese amaze gutega undi amatwi yitonze, bombi bashobora kubona ko bakeneye gusabana imbabazi (Yakobo 5:16). Kugira ngo umwe abwire undi abikuye ku mutima ati “umbabarire kuba nakubabaje” bisaba ukwicisha bugufi n’ubutwari. Gukemura ikibazo cy’ubwumvikane buke hagati y’abashakanye muri ubwo buryo ntibizatuma bakemura ibibazo bafitanye gusa, ahubwo bizanatuma bagirana urukundo n’ubucuti bizatuma buri wese yishimira kubana n’undi.

10. Ni iyihe nama Pawulo yagiriye Abakristo b’i Korinto yari kubafasha kwirinda ishobora no kugirira akamaro Abakristo muri iki gihe?

¹⁰ Igihe intumwa Pawulo yandikiraga Abakorinto, yabagiriye inama y’uko ibyiza ari uko bashaka ‘ku bwo kwirinda ubusambanyi’ (1 Abakorinto 7:2). Isi ya none yabaye mbi kimwe n’umujyi wa Korinto ya kera, ndetse rwose ishobora kuba iwurenze. Ibiganiro byibanda ku busambanyi abantu bo muri iyi si baganirira ku karubanda, ukuntu bambara nabi, inkuru zigamije kubyutsa irari zivugwa mu binyamakuru no mu bitabo, kuri televiziyo no mu mafilimi, ibyo byose bituma abantu bagira irari ribi ry’ubusambanyi. Intumwa Pawulo yabwiye Abakorinto bari muri iyo mimerere ati ‘ibyiza ni ukurongora kuruta gushyuha.’—1 Abakorinto 7:9.

11, 12. (a) Ni iki buri mugabo na buri mugore bagomba guhana kandi se bagombye kubihana bafite uwuhe mwuka? (b) Hakorwa iki mu gihe bibaye ngombwa ko abashakanye bamara igihe runaka badahana ibibakwiriye?

¹¹ Ku bw’ibyo rero, Bibiliya itegeka Abakristo bashatse igira iti “umugabo ahe umugore we ibimukwiriye kandi n’umugore na we abigenze atyo ku mugabo we” (1 Abakorinto 7:3). Zirikana ko hano igitsindagirizwa atari ugusaba ahubwo ari ugutanga. Abashakanye bazashimishwa n’imibonano mpuzabitsina ari uko gusa buri wese ahangayikishwa no gushimisha mugenzi we. Dufashe nk’urugero, Bibiliya isaba abagabo ‘kwerekana ubwenge’ mu byo bagirira abagore babo (1 Petero 3:7). Ibyo ni ngombwa cyane cyane mu gihe abashakanye bahana ibibakwiriye. Niba umugore atagaragarijwe urukundo, ashobora kutishimira icyo kintu kigize ishyingiranwa.

¹² Hari igihe abashakanye bashobora kudahana ibibakwiriye. Ku mugore, ibyo bishobora kuba mu bihe bimwe na bimwe by’ukwezi cyangwa se mu gihe yumva ananiwe. (Gereranya n’Abalewi 18:19.) Ku mugabo, bishobora kuba mu gihe ahanganye n’ikibazo kitoroshye ku kazi akaba yumva rwose muri we ari nta kigenda. Kugira ngo abashakanye bamare igihe runaka badahana ibyo buri wese akwiriye guha undi kandi ntibigire ikibazo biteza, bisaba ko babiganiraho neza kandi ‘bakabisezerana’ (1 Abakorinto 7:5). Ibyo bizarinda buri wese muri bo gufata ibintu uko bitari. Ariko rero niba umugore yimye umugabo we yabigambiriye cyangwa umugabo akananirwa guha umugore we ibimukwiriye mu buryo bwuje urukundo abigambiriye, bishobora gutuma uwo bashakanye agwa mu bishuko. Icyo gihe hashobora kuvuka ibibazo mu rugo rwabo.

13. Ni iki Abakristo bakora kugira ngo bakomeze kugira imitekerereze itanduye?

¹³ Kimwe n’abandi Bakristo bose, abagaragu b’Imana bashatse na bo bagomba kwirinda porunogarafiya ishobora gutuma bagira irari ribi (Abakolosayi 3:5). Bagomba kandi kurinda ibitekerezo byabo n’ibikorwa byabo mu gihe bari kumwe n’abo badahuje igitsina. Yesu yatanze umuburo ugira uti “umuntu wese ureba umugore akamwifuza, aba amaze gusambana na we mu mutima we” (Matayo 5:28). Abashakanye baramutse bakurikije inama zo muri Bibiliya zirebana n’ibitsina, bashobora kwirinda kugwa mu bishuko no mu busambanyi. Bashobora gukomeza kugira ubucuti hagati yabo, bakabona ko kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina ari impano nziza cyane ituruka kuri Yehova, we watangije ishyingiranwa.—Imigani 5:15-19.

14. Ni ibihe bintu bibabaje bijya bibaho? Biterwa n’iki?

¹⁴ Igishimishije ni uko mu miryango myinshi y’Abakristo, ikibazo icyo ari cyo cyose kivutse babasha kugikemura. Hari ubwo ariko binanirana. Kubera ko abantu badatunganye kandi bakaba bari mu isi yuzuye ibyaha iyoborwa na Satani, hari imiryango imwe n’imwe ihura n’ibibazo ikagera n’ubwo isenyuka (1 Yohana 5:19). Umukristo se yakwifata ate mu gihe ahuye n’ibibazo nk’ibyo bitoroshye?

15. (a) Ni iyihe mpamvu imwe rukumbi ishingiye ku Byanditswe yemerera umuntu gutana n’uwo bashakanye akaba ashobora gushakana n’undi? (b) Ni ukubera iki hari bamwe bafashe umwanzuro wo kudatana n’uwo bashakanye wabaciye inyuma?

¹⁵ Nk’uko twabivuze mu Gice cya 2 cy’iki gitabo, ubusambanyi ni yo mpamvu yonyine ishingiye ku Byanditswe yemerera abantu gutana bakaba bashobora kongera gushaka (Matayo 19:9).c Niba ufite ibihamya bifatika by’uko uwo mwashakanye yaguciye inyuma, icyo gihe uba uhanganye n’ikibazo cyo gufata umwanzuro utoroshye. Uzakomeza kubana na we se, cyangwa muzatandukana? Ibyo ni wowe biba bireba, nta tegeko rihari. Hari Abakristo bamwe na bamwe bagiye bababarira burundu abo bashakanye bihannye babivanye ku mutima, maze bakomeza kubana neza. Abandi bo bafashe umwanzuro wo kudatana n’uwo bashakanye bagirira abana babo.

16. (a) Ni ibihe bintu byagiye bituma bamwe bafata umwanzuro wo gutana n’uwo bashakanye wasambanye? (b) Iyo umwe mu bashakanye wahemukiwe afashe umwanzuro wo gutana n’uwo bashakanye cyangwa uwo kugumana na we, kuki nta muntu n’umwe ugomba kunenga umwanzuro we?

¹⁶ Hari ubwo noneho icyo cyaha gishobora kuba cyaratumye habaho gutwara inda cyangwa kwandura indwara yandurira mu myanya ndangagitsina. Cyangwa se bikaba ari ngombwa kurinda abana umwe mu babyeyi ushobora kubonona. Birumvikana rero ko hari ibintu byinshi uba ugomba gutekerezaho mbere y’uko ufata umwanzuro. Icyakora niba waramaze kumenya ko uwo mwashakanye yaguciye inyuma hanyuma ukemera ko mwongera kugirana imibonano mpuzabitsina, icyo gihe uba ugaragaje ko wamubabariye kandi ko ushaka gukomeza kubana na we. Ibyanditswe ntibiba bikikwemerera ko ushobora gutana na we ukaba washaka undi. Nta muntu n’umwe wagombye kuba kazitereyemo ngo ashake kugufatira imyanzuro, kandi nta n’ugomba kunenga imyanzuro ufashe. Ugomba kwemera ingaruka zose zizajyanirana n’uwo mwanzuro ufashe. “Umuntu wese aziyikorera uwe mutwaro.”—Abagalatiya 6:5.

17. Niba umuntu atasambanye ariko uwo bashakanye agahitamo kwahukana cyangwa gutana na we, ni iyihe mipaka Ibyanditswe bimushyiriraho?

¹⁷ Ese haba hari impamvu zishobora gutuma umwe mu bashakanye yahukana cyangwa se akaba yanatana n’uwo bashakanye kandi atasambanye? Impamvu zirahari ariko icyo gihe Umukristo ntaba yemerewe kongera gushaka (Matayo 5:32). N’ubwo Bibiliya yemera ko umwe mu bashakanye ashobora kwahukana, ivuga ko uwo wahukanye agomba ‘kuba igishubaziko cyangwa akiyunga n’umugabo we’ (1 Abakorinto 7:11). None se ni nk’ibihe bintu bikomeye bishobora gutera umuntu kubona ko icyiza ari uko yakwahukana?

18, 19. Ni iyihe mimerere itoroshye ishobora gutuma umwe mu bashakanye areba niba ibyiza atari uko yasaba kwahukana cyangwa gutana n’uwo bashakanye, n’ubwo icyo gihe yaba atemerewe kongera gushaka?

¹⁸ Umuryango ushobora gukena bitewe n’uko umugabo ari umunebwe cyangwa afite izindi ngeso mbi.d Ashobora gufata udufaranga twagatunze umuryango twose akatujyana mu rusimbi cyangwa se akatugura ibiyobyabwenge cyangwa inzoga byamusabitse. Bibiliya igira iti “niba umuntu adatunga abe cyane cyane abo mu rugo rwe, aba yihakanye ibyizerwa, kandi aba abaye mubi hanyuma y’utizera” (1 Timoteyo 5:8). Uwo mugabo aramutse atisubiyeho, wenda akajya afata n’udufaranga umugore abonye akatujyana muri ibyo bikorwa bye bibi, umugore ashobora guhitamo kurinda ubuzima bwe n’ubw’abana be, agasaba kwahukana mu buryo bwemewe n’amategeko.

¹⁹ Ibyo birashoboka nanone mu gihe uwo bashakanye amugirira urugomo uru rukabije, wenda akunda kumukubita ku buryo ubuzima bwe bwaba buri mu kaga. Ikindi nanone, niba umwe mu bashakanye ahatira undi kwica amategeko y’Imana mu buryo runaka, uhatirwa kuyica ashobora na we kureba niba atakwigendera, cyane cyane niba abona ko ubuzima bwe bwo mu buryo bw’umwuka buri mu kaga. Umwe mu bashakanye ufite icyo kibazo ashobora kubona ko uburyo bumwe rukumbi bwo ‘kumvira Imana kuruta abantu’ ari uko yasaba kwahukana akagenda.—Ibyakozwe 5:29.

20. (a) Niba hari umuryango ugiye gusenyuka, ni iki incuti zikuze mu buryo bw’umwuka n’abasaza bakora, kandi se ni iki batagomba gukora? (b) N’ubwo Bibiliya ivuga ku byo kwahukana no gutana, abashakanye ntibagomba kubigira uruhe rwitwazo?

²⁰ Uko umuntu yaba agirirwa nabi kose n’uwo bashakanye, nta muntu n’umwe ugomba kumuhatira kwahukana cyangwa kugumana na we. N’ubwo incuti zikuze mu buryo bw’umwuka n’abasaza bashobora kumufasha bakamuha n’inama zishingiye kuri Bibiliya, abo bose ntibashobora kumenya utuntu twose tuba hagati y’umugabo n’umugore we. Yehova wenyine ni we ushobora kubibona. Birumvikana ko umugore w’Umukristokazi ataba yubaha gahunda y’ishyingiranwa yashyizweho n’Imana aramutse ashaka guta uwo bashakanye ashingiye ku mpamvu zidafashije. Ariko niba akomeje kuba mu mimerere ishyira ubuzima bwe mu kaga, nta muntu n’umwe ugomba kumunenga niba ahisemo kwahukana. Uko ni na ko biri ku mugabo w’Umukristo ushaka gutandukana n’umugore we. “Twese tuzahagarara imbere y’intebe y’imanza y’Imana.”—Abaroma 14:10.

21. Ni uruhe rugero rugaragaza ko inama Bibiliya iha abashakanye zigira ingaruka nziza?

²¹ Hashize amezi atatu Lucia twavuze tugitangira yahukanye, yahuye n’Abahamya ba Yehova atangira kwigana na bo Bibiliya. Yaravuze ati “natangajwe cyane no kubona Bibiliya inyereka uburyo bwiza bwo gukemura ikibazo cyanjye. Maze icyumweru kimwe gusa niga, nahise numva nshaka gusubirana n’umugabo wanjye. Ubu rwose nshobora kuvuga nta cyo nishisha ko Yehova ari we uzi uburyo bwiza bwo gufasha ishyingirwa rigeze aharindimuka, kubera ko inyigisho ze zigisha abashakanye uko bakubahana. Abantu bavuga ko Abahamya ba Yehova basenya ingo baba babeshya; kuko jyewe ibyambayeho bigaragaza ko ahubwo bunga imiryango.” Lucia yize gushyira mu bikorwa amahame ya Bibiliya.

22. Ni iki abantu bose bashakanye bagomba kwiringira?

²² Lucia si we wenyine ibyo byabayeho. Ishyingiranwa ryagombye kuba umugisha aho kuba umutwaro. Kugira ngo ibyo bishoboke, Yehova yaduhaye Ijambo rye ry’agaciro kenshi cyane rikubiyemo inama nziza ziruta izindi zose zitangwa ku birebana n’ishyingirwa. Bibiliya ishobora rwose ‘guha umuswa ubwenge’ (Zaburi 19:8-12). Yafashije abashakanye benshi bari hafi yo gutandukana kandi ifasha n’abandi benshi bari bafite ibibazo bitoroshye. Turifuza ko abantu bose bashakanye bakwiringira byimazeyo inama Yehova Imana atanga ku birebana n’ishyingiranwa. Zigira akamaro rwose!