Jya ugaragaza urukundo n’icyubahiro urinda ururimi rwawe

“Umuntu wese akunde umugore we nk’uko yikunda, kugira ngo umugore na we abone uko yubaha umugabo we.”—ABEFESO 5:33.

1, 2. Ni ikihe kibazo cy’ingenzi abantu bose bashatse bakwiriye kwibaza, kandi kuki?

REKA tuvuge ko uhawe impano ifunze neza, inyuma handitseho ngo “ufate neza!” Ni gute wafata icyo kintu? Nta gushidikanya ko wakwigengesera kugira ngo utangiza iyo mpano. Bite se ku birebana n’impano y’ishyingiranwa?

² Nawomi, umupfakazi w’Umwisirayeli, yabwiye abagore bari bakiri bato, ari bo Orupa na Rusi, ati “Uwiteka abahe mwembi kubona uburuhukiro mu mazu y’abagabo banyu” (Rusi 1:3-9). Bibiliya ivuga iby’umugore mwiza igira iti “urugo n’amatungo umuntu abiragwa n’ababyeyi be, ariko umugore witonda amuhabwa n’Uwiteka” (Imigani 19:14). Niba warashatse, ukwiriye kubona ko uwo mwashakanye ari impano wahawe n’Imana. Ni gute ufata iyo mpano Imana yaguhaye?

 3. Ni iyihe nama Pawulo yatanze, abagabo n’abagore babo bagombye gukurikiza?

³ Intumwa Pawulo yandikiye Abakristo bo mu kinyejana cya mbere ati “umuntu wese akunde umugore we nk’uko yikunda, kugira ngo umugore na we abone uko yubaha umugabo we” (Abefeso 5:33). Reka dusuzume ukuntu abagabo n’abagore babo bashobora gukurikiza iyo nama mu birebana n’amagambo babwirana.

Irinde “ububi budatuza”

 4. Ni gute ururimi rushobora gukora ibyiza cyangwa ibibi?

⁴ Umwanditsi wa Bibiliya witwa Yakobo yavuze ko ururimi ari “ububi budatuza,” kandi ko “rwuzuye ubusagwe bwica” (Yakobo 3:8). Yakobo yari azi neza uku kuri kw’ingenzi: kutarinda ururimi birasenya. Nta gushidikanya ko yari azi umugani wo muri Bibiliya ugereranya amagambo avuzwe atatekerejweho n’‘inkota yicana.’ Mu buryo bunyuranye n’ubwo, uwo mugani wongeraho uti “ururimi rw’umunyabwenge rurakiza” (Imigani 12:18). Koko rero, amagambo ashobora kugira ingaruka zikomeye. Ashobora kwica cyangwa agakiza. Ni izihe ngaruka amagambo yawe agira ku wo mwashakanye? Ubajije uwo mwashakanye icyo kibazo yagisubiza ate?

5, 6. Ni ibihe bintu bituma abantu bamwe bananirwa kurinda ururimi rwabo?

⁵ Niba wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mufite akamenyero ko kubwirana amagambo mabi, mushobora guhindura mukajya mukoresha imvugo nziza. Icyakora, bisaba gushyiraho imihati. Kubera iki? Impamvu imwe ni uko mugomba kurwana intambara yo kudatungana. Icyaha twarazwe kigira ingaruka mbi ku mitekerereze yacu no ku byo tubwirana. Yakobo yaranditse ati “umuntu wese udacumura mu byo avuga aba ari umuntu utunganye rwose, yabasha no gutegeka umubiri we wose.”—Yakobo 3:2.

⁶ Uretse kudatungana kandi, umuryango umuntu yakuriye na wo ugira uruhare mu gutuma akoresha ururimi nabi. Hari abantu bakuriye mu miryango irimo ababyeyi “batūzura, . . . batirinda, bagira urugomo” (2 Timoteyo 3:1-3). Akenshi usanga abana bakurira muri bene iyo miryango bagira imico imeze ityo, iyo bamaze gukura. Ariko birumvikana ko umuntu atakwitwaza ko adatunganye cyangwa ko atarezwe neza ngo avuge amagambo mabi. Icyakora, kumenya ibyo bintu bidufasha gusobanukirwa impamvu hari abantu bananirwa kurinda ururimi rwabo.

‘Mwiyambure gusebanya’

 7. Ni iki Petero yashakaga kuvuga ubwo yagiraga Abakristo inama yo ‘kwiyambura gusebanya kose’?

⁷ Iyo abashakanye babwirana amagambo mabi, uko impamvu yaba iri kose, bigaragaza ko badakundana kandi ko batubahana. Ni yo mpamvu Petero yagiriye Abakristo inama yo ‘kwiyambura gusebanya kose’ (1 Petero 2:1). Ijambo ry’Ikigiriki ryahinduwemo “gusebanya” risobanura “gutukana.” Ryumvikanisha igitekerezo cyo ‘gusuka ibigambo ku bantu.’ Mbega ukuntu iryo jambo ryerekana neza ingaruka mbi ziterwa no kutarinda ururimi!

8, 9. Ni izihe ngaruka zishobora guterwa no gutukana, kandi se kuki abashakanye bagombye kubyirinda?

⁸ Amagambo yo gutukana ashobora gusa n’aho nta cyo avuze cyane, ariko reka turebe uko bigenda iyo umugabo n’umugore we bakoresha amagambo nk’ayo. Kwita uwo mwashakanye igicucu, umunebwe cyangwa kumubwira ko yikunda, ni nko kumubwira ko icyo kintu kibi ari cyo kigize kamere ye yose. Ibyo ni ubugome rwose! Byagenda bite se niba mu byo uvuga ukabiriza amakosa y’uwo mwashakanye? Ese kuvuga ngo “uhora ukererwa” cyangwa ngo “ntujya unyumva,” si ugukabya koko? Ibyo bishobora gutuma na we ashaka kwirwanaho, ubwo impaka zikaze zigatangira.—Yakobo 3:5.

⁹ Ibiganiro bivanzemo ibitutsi bituma umuntu agirana ibibazo n’uwo bashakanye, kandi ibyo bishobora kugira ingaruka mbi. Mu Migani 25:24 hagira hati “kuba mu gakinga k’urusenge, biruta kubana n’umugore w’ingare mu nzu y’inyumba.” Birumvikana ko amagambo nk’ayo yavugwa no ku mugabo w’umunyamahane. Amaherezo, amagambo ababaza avugwa n’umwe mu bashakanye amunga ubumwe bwabo, wenda akaba yatuma uyabwirwa yumva adakunzwe, ndetse atanabikwiriye. Biragaragara ko ari ngombwa kurinda ururimi. Ariko se byakorwa bite?

Jya ‘ugenga ururimi’ rwawe

10. Kuki gutegeka ururimi ari ibintu by’ingenzi?

¹⁰ Muri Yakobo 3:8 havuga ko ‘ururimi nta muntu wabasha kurumenyereza rwose.’ Ariko kandi, twagombye gukora ibishoboka byose tukagenga ururimi rwacu cyangwa tukarutegeka. Bibiliya iravuga ngo “umuntu niyibwira ko ari umunyadini, ntagenge ururimi rwe ahubwo akishuka mu mutima, idini ry’uwo muntu riba ari ubusa” (Yakobo 1:26; 3:2, 3). Ayo magambo agaragaza ko uburyo ukoresha ururimi rwawe atari ibyo gufatanwa uburemere buke. Uko urukoresha ntibigira ingaruka ku mishyikirano ugirana n’uwo mwashakanye gusa, ahubwo binazigira ku mishyikirano ugirana na Yehova Imana.—1 Petero 3:7.

11. Umuntu yakwirinda ate ko ibyo atumvikanaho n’undi bibyara impaka zikomeye?

¹¹ Ni iby’ingezi kwitondera amagambo ubwira uwo mwashakanye. Niba mugiranye ikibazo, gerageza koroshya ibintu. Reba ibintu byabaye kuri Isaka n’umugore we Rebeka, nk’uko byanditswe mu Itangiriro 27:46–28:4. “Rebeka abwira Isaka ati ‘ubugingo bwanjye burambiwe ba Bahetikazi. Yakobo yarongora Umuhetikazi nka ba bandi, ubugingo bwanjye bwamarira iki?’” Nta kintu cyerekana ko Isaka yamushubije nabi. Ahubwo yohereje umuhungu wabo Yakobo ngo ajye gushaka umugore utinya Imana utari gutera Rebeka agahinda. Reka tuvuge ko hari ibintu umugabo n’umugore we batumvikanyeho. Gukoresha ngenga ya mbere y’ubumwe aho gukoresha iya kabiri mu gihe ugaragaza ikibazo, bishobora gutuma ibintu byoroshye mutumvikanaho bitabyara impaka ndende. Urugero, aho kuvuga ngo “ntujya umarana nanjye igihe!,” kuki utavuga uti “nifuzaga ko twajya tumarana igihe kinini kurushaho”? Ibande ku kibazo, ntiwibande ku muntu. Irinde gushakisha uri mu kuri n’ufite ikosa. Mu Baroma 14:19 hagira hati “dukurikize ibihesha amahoro n’ibyo gukomezanya.”

Mwirinde “gusharira kose n’uburakari n’umujinya”

12. Niba dushaka kurinda ururimi rwacu, ni iki twagombye gusenga dusaba, kandi kuki?

¹² Kurinda ururimi bikubiyemo ibirenze kugenzura ibyo tuvuga. Kandi koko, ibyo tuvuga biba biturutse ku mutima aho kuba ku munwa gusa. Yesu yaravuze ati “umuntu mwiza atanga ibyiza abikuye mu butunzi bwiza bwo mu mutima we, n’umuntu mubi atanga ibibi abikuye mu butunzi bwe bubi, kuko ibyuzuye mu mutima ari byo akanwa kavuga” (Luka 6:45). Ku bw’ibyo, kugira ngo utegeke ururimi rwawe, wagombye gusenga nk’uko Dawidi yasenze agira ati “Mana, undememo umutima wera, unsubizemo umutima ukomeye.”—Zaburi 51:12.

13. Ni gute gusharira, uburakari n’umujinya bishobora gutuma umuntu avuga ibigambo bibi?

¹³ Pawulo yagiriye Abefeso inama yo kutirinda amagambo mabi gusa, ahubwo bakanirinda ikibatera kuyavuga. Yaranditse ati “gusharira kose n’uburakari n’umujinya n’intonganya, no gutukana hamwe n’igomwa ryose bibavemo” (Abefeso 4:31). Zirikana ko mbere y’uko Pawulo avuga iby’‘intonganya no gutukana,’ yari yabanje kuvuga ibyo ‘gusharira, uburakari n’umujinya.’ Uburakari ufite ni bwo butuma wihutira kuvuga ibigambo bibi. Ku bw’ibyo, ibaze uti “ese ndwara inzika kandi nkaba umunyamujinya? Ese ndi ‘umuntu w’inkazi’” (Imigani 29:22)? Niba ari ko biri, saba Imana igufashe kubinesha no kwirinda kugira umujinya. Muri Zaburi 4:5 hagira hati “mugire impuhwe zo gukora icyaha [“murakare uburakari budatuma mukora icyaha,” (ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji)], muri ku mariri yanyu mwibwirire mu mitima mucecetse.” Niba wumva uburakari bwawe bugiye kugurumana, ukaba utinya ko wananirwa kwirinda, kurikiza inama iri mu Migani 17:14 igira iti “ujye wigendera intonganya zitaravuka” (NW). Jya uba wigendeye kugeza igihe umujinya urangiriye.

14. Ni gute kugira inzika bigira ingaruka ku ishyingiranwa?

¹⁴ Gutegeka umujinya n’uburakari ntibyoroha, cyane cyane iyo uturutse ku cyo Pawulo yise “gusharira.” Bavuga ko ijambo ry’Ikigiriki Pawulo yakoresheje risobanura “kugira inzika ukanga kwiyunga,” no kugira ‘umujinya utuma utibagirwa amakosa wakorewe.’ Rimwe na rimwe amakimbirane ashobora kumera nk’urusika ruri hagati y’umugabo n’umugore we, kandi ibyo bishobora kumara igihe kirekire. Iyo abantu badakemuye neza ikibazo cyatumye bababara, bishobora gutuma habaho agasuzuguro. Kubika inzika kubera ibintu bibi umuntu yagukoreye mu gihe cyahise nta cyo bimaze. Ibyabaye biba byabaye, nta cyo wabikoraho. Iyo ubabariye umuntu ikosa, uba ugomba no kuryibagirwa. Urukundo “ntirwita ku kibi umuntu yagiriwe.”—1 Abakorinto 13:4, 5, NW.

15. Ni iki kizafasha abantu bakunze kuvuga amagambo mabi guhindura imivugire yabo?

¹⁵ Byagenda bite ubaye warakuriye mu muryango w’abantu bakunda kuvuga nabi, nawe bikaba byarakokamye? Ushobora kugira ibyo uhindura. Ubu hari ibintu wiyemeje kwirinda gukora. Uzirinda ute se mu birebana n’ibyo uvuga? Ese uzirinda mbere y’uko amagambo yawe aba mabi? Icyo gihe bizaba ngombwa ko ukurikiza ibivugwa mu Befeso 4:29, hagira hati “ijambo ryose riteye isoni ntirigaturuke mu kanwa kanyu.” Kugira ngo ibyo ubigereho, ugomba ‘kwiyambura umuntu wa kera n’imirimo ye, ukambara umushya uhindurirwa mushya kugira ngo agire ubwenge, kandi ngo ase n’ishusho y’Iyamuremye.’—Abakolosayi 3:9, 10.

‘Kujya inama’ ni ngombwa

16. Kuki iyo abashakanye banze kuvugana bigira ingaruka mbi?

¹⁶ Iyo umugabo n’umugore we banze kuvugana nta cyo bibagezaho, kandi bishobora no kugira ingaruka mbi. Ibyo si ko buri gihe umuntu abikora agamije guhana uwo bashakanye, kubera ko hari ubwo byaterwa n’akababaro cyangwa gucika intege. Icyakora, kwanga kuvugisha uwo mwashakanye nta kindi bimara uretse gutuma ikibazo mufite kirushaho gukomera aho gukemuka. Hari umugore wabisobanuye agira ati “iyo twongeye kuvugana ntitugaruka kuri cya kibazo.”

17. Ni iki Abakristo bafite ibibazo mu ishyingiranwa ryabo bagombye gukora?

¹⁷ Iyo abashakanye bakomeje kugirana amakimbirane, gukemura icyo kibazo ntibyoroha. Mu Migani 15:22 hagira hati “aho inama itari imigambi ipfa ubusa, ariko aho abajyanama benshi bari irakomezwa.” Ni ngombwa kwicarana n’uwo mwashakanye mukaganira kuri icyo kibazo. Uko byagenda kose, tega amatwi uwo mwashakanye witeguye kumwumva. Ese niba kubigenza mutyo bisa n’ibidashoboka, kuki mutakwifashisha abasaza bo mu itorero rya gikristo? Bafite ubumenyi bwo mu Byanditswe kandi ni inararibonye mu birebana no gukurikiza amahame ya Bibiliya. Abo bagabo bameze “nk’aho kwikinga umuyaga n’ubwugamo bw’umugaru.”—Yesaya 32:2.

Ushobora gutsinda iyo ntambara

18. Ni iyihe ntambara ivugwa mu Baroma 7:18-23?

¹⁸ Kugenga ururimi rwacu ni intambara. No kugenzura ibyo dukora ni uko. Intumwa Pawulo yanditse iby’ingorane yahuraga na zo agira ati “nzi yuko muri jye, ibyo ni ukuvuga muri kamere yanjye, nta cyiza kimbamo, kuko mpora nifuza gukora icyiza ariko kugikora nta ko, kuko icyiza nshaka atari cyo nkora, ahubwo ikibi nanga akaba ari cyo nkora. Ariko ubwo nkora ibyo nanga si jye uba nkibikora, ahubwo ni icyaha kimbamo.” Kubera ko “itegeko ry’ibyaha” ritubamo, tubangukirwa no gukoresha nabi ururimi rwacu n’izindi ngingo z’umubiri (Abaroma 7:18-23). Nyamara kandi, tugomba kurwana iyo ntambara, kandi Imana izadufasha kuyitsinda.

19, 20. Ni gute urugero twasigiwe na Yesu rufasha abagabo n’abagore kugenga ururimi rwabo?

¹⁹ Iyo abantu bakundana kandi bakubahana, ntibabwirana amagambo batatekerejeho kandi ababaza. Tekereza ku rugero Yesu Kristo yatanze mu birebana n’ibyo. Yesu ntiyigeze atuka abigishwa be. Ndetse no mu ijoro rya nyuma yamaze hano ku isi, igihe intumwa ze zajyaga impaka zo kumenya umukuru muri zo, Umwana w’Imana ntiyigeze azibwira nabi (Luka 22:24-27). Bibiliya itanga inama igira iti ‘bagabo, mukunde abagore banyu nk’uko Kristo yakunze itorero akaryitangira.’—Abefeso 5:25.

²⁰ Bite se ku birebana n’umugore? Yagombye ‘kubaha umugabo we’ cyane (Abefeso 5:33). Ese umugore wubaha umugabo we yamuvuzaho induru, akoresheje amagambo y’ibitutsi? Pawulo yaranditse ati “ndashaka yuko mumenya ko umutwe w’umugabo wese ari Kristo, kandi ko umutwe w’umugore ari umugabo we, kandi ko umutwe wa Kristo ari Imana” (1 Abakorinto 11:3). Abagore bagomba kugandukira abagabo babo nk’uko Kristo agandukira Imana (Abakolosayi 3:18). Nubwo nta muntu udatunganye ushobora kwigana Yesu mu buryo bwuzuye, kwihatira ‘kugera ikirenge mu cye’ bizafasha abagabo n’abagore gutsinda intambara yo gukoresha nabi ururimi rwabo.—1 Petero 2:21.

Ni iki wize?

• Ni gute kutarinda ururimi bishobora gusenya umuryango?

• Kuki kugenga ururimi bitoroha?

• Ni iki kidufasha kugenzura ibyo tuvuga?

• Ni iki wagombye gukora igihe ufitanye ibibazo n’uwo mwashakanye?

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 24]

Abasaza batanga inama zishingiye kuri Bibiliya