Lapho Sekusele Kancane Kutsi Umshado Ubhidlike

1, 2. Nangabe unetinkinga emshadweni wakho, ngumuphi umbuto lokufanele utibute wona?

NGA-1988, lomunye umfati waseTaliyane, libito lakhe lokungu-Lucia, abecindzeteleke kakhulu.a Ngemuva kweminyaka lelishumi ashadile, umshado wakhe besewubhidlika. Abetame kanyenti kubuyisana nendvodza yakhe, kodvwa loko akuzange kuphumelele. Ngako-ke, bahlala ngekwehlukana ngesizatfu sekungavumelani futsi besekufanele akhulise emadvodzakati lamabili ayedvwana. Nakabuka emuva kuleso sikhatsi, Lucia uyakhumbula: “Besengititjelile kutsi kute lokungasindzisa umshado wetfu.”

² Nangabe nawe unetinkinga temshado, ungayicondza indlela Lucia labetiva ngayo. Kungenteka kutsi umshado wakho unetinkinga futsi uyatibuta nekutsi usengasindza yini. Nangabe kunjalo, kutawukusita kucabanga nganangumbuto: Sengitisebentise tonkhe yini teluleko letinhle Nkulunkulu lasiniketa tona eBhayibhelini mayelana nekwenta umshado uphumelele?​—Tihlabelelo 119:105.

 3. Ngisho nobe idivosi seyandzile, imibiko iveta kutsi labo labadivosile kanye nemindeni yabo bativa njani?

³ Nangabe simo sishubile emkhatsini wendvodza nemfati, kucedza umshado kungase kubonakale kunguyona ndlela lemelula kakhulu. Kodvwa-ke, ngisho nobe emaveni lamanyenti kube nekwandza lokumangalisako kwebantfu labadivosako, luhlolo lwalamuhla luveta kutsi emadvodza kanye nebafati labanyenti labaye badivosa bayatisola ngaloko. Labanyenti babo sebahlushwa tinkinga temphilo letinyenti, kokubili emtimbeni kanye nasengcondvweni, kwendlula labo labangazange badivose. Kukhatsateka kanye nekungajabuli kwebantfwana labanebatali labadivosile kuvame kuhlala iminyaka leminyenti. Batali kanye nebangani balaba labadivosile nabo beva buhlungu. Kutsiwani ngendlela Nkulunkulu, uMsunguli wemshado, lasitsatsa ngayo lesimo?

 4. Tinkinga emshadweni kufanele tisingatfwe njani?

⁴ Njengobe kuvetiwe etehlukweni letengcile, injongo yaNkulunkulu beyikutsi umshado ube sibopho lesihlala njalo. (Genesisi 2:24) Kodvwa-ke, kungani imishado leminyenti ibhidlika? Loku akuveli nje kwenteke, kodvwa kuvame kucala ngetimphawu letisecwayiso. Tinkinga letincane emshadweni tingakhula kakhulu kute kube ngulapho setibonakala tingasalungiseki. Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe letinkinga tilungiswa ngekushesha ngelusito lweliBhayibheli, imishado leminyenti angeke ibhidlike.

 5. Ngumuphi umbono lokufanele labo labashadile babe nawo?

⁵ Lenye intfo levame kubangela tinkinga kutsi labo labashadile balindzele tintfo letingakafaneli emshadweni wabo. Tincwadzi telutsandvo, bomagazini, tinhlelo te-TV, kanye nemabhayisikobho kungakha tifiso kanye nemaphupho langeke eneliseke. Lapho lamaphupho angafezeki, umuntfu angase ative ayengiwe, angakeneliseki futsi atfukutsele. Kodvwa-ke, bantfu lababili labanesono bangayitfola njani injabulo emshadweni? Kute umshado uphumelele, kudzingeka kwentiwe imetamo.

 6. (a) Ngumuphi umbono lofanele liBhayibheli leliwuvetako ngemshado? (b) Ngutiphi letinye tintfo letibangela kungavumelani emshadweni?

⁶ LiBhayibheli lilusito. Liyasho kutsi ikhona injabulo emshadweni, kodvwa liphindze litsi labo labashadile “bayawuhlupheka.” (1 Khorinte 7:28) Njengobe sekuvetiwe, bantfu labashadile bayawenta emaphutsa ngobe banesono. Indlela labakheke ngayo engcondvweni nangekwemivelo, kanye nendlela labakhuliswe ngayo ayifanani. Ngaletinye tikhatsi, bantfu labashadile bavame kungavumelani etindzabeni tetimali, tebantfwana, kanye nangebantfu basekhakhabo. Kungabi nesikhatsi sekwenta tintfo ndzawonye kanye netinkinga letimayelana nekuya ecasini nako kungabangela kucabana.b Kulungisa tinkinga letinjalo kutsatsa sikhatsi, kodvwa ungapheli emandla! Bantfu labanyenti labashadile baye batincoba tinkinga letinjalo futsi batfola tisombululo labavumelana ngato bobabili.

7, 8. Nangabe bantfu labashadile baphatseke kabi nobe bangacondzani, imiBhalo itsi kufanele basisingatse njani lesimo?

⁷ Bantfu labanyenti bakutfola kumatima kwehlisa umoya nabacoca ngetintfo letibaphetse kabi, kungacondzani, nobe emaphutsa abo. Kunekutsi asho ngalokucacile atsi: “Ngibona shengatsi awungicondzi kahle,” umuntfu loshadile angase acansuke futsi atsatse inkinga lencane ayente ibe yinkhulu. Labanye batsi: “Utikhatsalela wena kuphela,” nobe “Awungitsandzi.” Lona lomunye angase akhetse kungaphendvuli ngesizatfu sekutsi akafuni bacabane.

⁸ Kuncono kulalela seluleko seliBhayibheli lesitsi: “Tfukutselani, kodvwa ningoni; lilanga lingashoni solomane nitfukutsele.” (Efesu 4:26) Ngesikhatsi sebaneminyaka lengu-60 bashadile, labanye labajabulile emshadweni wabo babutwa ngaloko lokuye kwawenta waphumelela. Lendvodza yatsi: “Safundza kutsi singalali singakatilungisi tinkinga, ngisho nobe betibonakala titincane kangakanani.”

 9. (a) ImiBhalo itsi nguyiphi intfo lebalulekile ekukhulumisaneni? (b) Yini lokuye kudzingeke kutsi bantfu labashadile bayente, ngisho nobe idzinga sibindzi kanye nekutfobeka?

⁹ Nangabe indvodza kanye nemfati wayo bangavumelani, nguloyo naloyo kufanele ‘asheshe kuva, ephute kukhuluma, ephute nekutfukutsela.’ (Jakobe 1:19) Ngemuva kwekulalelisisa, bobabili bangase basibone sidzingo sekucolisa. (Jakobe 5:16) Kusho ngebucotfo kutsi “Ngiyacolisa ngekukuphatsa kabi,” kudzinga kutfobeka kanye nesibindzi. Kulungisa kungevani ngalendlela kuyaphumelela kakhulu ekusiteni bantfu labashadile kutsi bangagcini ngekucatulula tinkinga kuphela, kodvwa baphindze babe nemusa kanye nebuhlobo lobuhle lobutawukwenta kutsi bajabule ngekuba ndzawonye.

10. Ngusiphi sivikelo Pawula lasitjela emaKhristu aseKhorinte lesingasebenta kumKhristu lamuhla?

¹⁰ Ngesikhatsi umphostoli Pawula abhalela baseKhorinte, wakuncoma kushada “ngenca yebuphingi.” (1 Khorinte 7:2) Lamuhla, lelive libi ngendlela lefananako, nobe kwendlula iKhorinte yasendvulo. Tindzaba letimayelana nekutiphatsa lokubi lokucocwa ngato ngekukhululeka, indlela yekugcoka lengakazitsi, kanye netindzaba letivusa inkhanuko letitfolakala kubomagazini nasetincwadzini, ku-TV, kanye nakumabhayisikobho, tikhutsata tifiso letingcolile tekuya ecasini. Umphostoli Pawula watjela bantfu baseKhorinte labebaphila esimeni lesifananako: “Kuhle kutsi umuntfu ashade kunekutsi ashiswe yinkhanuko.”​—1 Khorinte 7:9.

11, 12. (a) Yini indvodza nemfati labakweletana yona, futsi kufanele yenetiswe ngemoya lonjani? (b) Kufanele sisingatfwe njani simo lapho kudzingeka kutsi kungenetiswana khona kwesikhashana?

¹¹ LiBhayibheli likhutsata emaKhristu lashadile: “Indvodza ayenelise umfati wayo, nemfati ente njalo endvodzeni yakhe.” (1 Khorinte 7:3) Caphela kutsi kugcizelelwa kupha, hhayi kufuna ngenkhani. Kusondzelana emshadweni kwenetisa kuphela nangabe nguloyo naloyo acabangela lomunye. Nasi sibonelo: LiBhayibheli liyala emadvodza kutsi asebentelane nebafati bawo ‘ngekwati.’ (1 Phetro 3:7) Loku kuliciniso kakhulu endzabeni yekwenetisana emshadweni. Nangabe umfati angaphatfwa ngelutsandvo, kungaba matima kutsi asijabulele lesici semshado.

¹² Tiba khona tikhatsi lapho kudzingeka kutsi bantfu labashadile bangenetisani kwesikhashana. Loku kungenteka kumfati ngaletinye tikhatsi tenyanga nobe lapho adzinwe kakhulu. (Catsanisa naLevithikhusi 18:19.) Kungaba njalo nasendvodzeni nangabe inenkinga lenkhulu yasemsebentini futsi itiva iphansi. Timo letinjalo letibangela kutsi kungenetiswana kwesikhashana tingasingatfwa kahle nangabe labo labashadile bacocisana ngalokukhululekile ngesimo futsi ‘bavumelane.’ (1 Khorinte 7:5) Loku kutawukwenta kutsi kube bete lofika etiphetfweni letingakafaneli. Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe umfati agodlela indvodza yakhe ngemabomu, nobe indvodza ingamenetisi ngelutsandvo umfati wayo, lona lomunye angawela esilingweni. Esimeni lesinjalo, kungase kuvele tinkinga emshadweni.

13. EmaKhristu angakulwela njani kugcina kucabanga kwawo kuhlantekile?

¹³ Njengawo onkhe emaKhristu, tinceku taJehova letishadile kufanele tibalekele kubuka titfombe letingcolile, letingakha tifiso letingcolile naletingasito temvelo. (Kholose 3:5) Kufanele ticaphele imicabango kanye netento tato natisebentelana nebantfu bebulili lobehlukile. Jesu wecwayisa: “Ngulowo nalowo lobuka lomsikati, bese uyamkhanuka, sewuphinge naye enhlitiyweni yakhe.” (Matewu 5:28) Ngekusebentisa seluleko seliBhayibheli lesimayelana nekuya ecasini, bantfu labashadile bangakwati kubalekela kuwela esilingweni sekuphinga. Bangachubeka bajabulela kusondzelana kwasemshadweni lapho kuya ecasini kutsatfwa njengesipho lesiligugu lesivela kuJehova, uMsunguli wemshado.​—Taga 5:15-19.

14. Ngusiphi simo lesibuhlungu lesivame kuba khona, futsi sibangelwa yini?

¹⁴ Kuyajabulisa kutsi imindeni leminyenti yemaKhristu iyakwati kulungisa nobe ngabe ngutiphi tinkinga letivelako. Kodvwa-ke, ngaletinye tikhatsi akubi njalo. Ngesizatfu sekutsi sinesono futsi siphila eveni lelinesono lelibuswa nguSathane, leminye imishado igcina ibhidlikile. (1 Johane 5:19) EmaKhristu angahlangabetana njani nesimo lesibuhlungu kangaka?

15. (a) Ngusiphi sizatfu lesingekwemBhalo sekudivosa, nalesivumela kutsi uphindze ushade? (b) Kungani labanye baye bakhetsa kungamdivosi umuntfu labashade naye longaketsembeki?

¹⁵ Njengobe kuvetiwe eSehlukweni 2 salencwadzi, sizatfu lesingekwemBhalo sekudivosa, nalesivumela kutsi uphindze ushade, bundlundlulu.c (Matewu 19:9) Nangabe unebufakazi lobucinile bekutsi umuntfu loshade naye akaketsembeki kuwe, kufanele wente sincumo lesimatima. Utawuchubeka yini uhleti kulomshado nobe utawudivosa? Kute imitsetfo lebekiwe. Lamanye emaKhristu aye amtsetselele umuntfu lashade naye lophendvuke ngebucotfo, futsi umshado wawo lawusindzisile uye uphumelele kahle. Labanye baye bakhetsa kungadivosi ngesizatfu sebantfwana.

16. (a) Ngutiphi letinye tizatfu letenta labanye badivose bantfu labashade nabo labonile? (b) Nangabe umuntfu loshadile longenacala enta sincumo sekutsi utawudivosa nobe cha, kungani kungakafaneli kube nebantfu labagceka sincumo sakhe?

¹⁶ Ngakulokunye, kungenteka kutsi leso sento siye saphumela ekubeni umuntfu akhulelwe nobe abe nesifo lesitsatselwanako ngekwelicasi. Kungenteka nekutsi kufunwa kuvikelwa bantfwana kumtali lobahlukubeta ngekwelicasi. Kuyacaca kutsi kunyenti lokufanele kucatjangelwe ngembikwekutsi kwentiwe sincumo. Nanobe kunjalo, nangabe kwenteka uva kutsi umuntfu loshade naye wente sento sekungatsembeki, kodvwa ngemuva kwaloko uye ecasini naye, loko kutawusho kutsi sewumcolele futsi ufuna nichubeke nishadile. Tizatfu letingekwemBhalo tekutsi ungadivosa futsi uphindze ushade atisasebenti. Kute umuntfu lokufanele angene etindzabeni tenu nobe etame kukukhetsisa kutsi wente njani, futsi akukafaneli kube nemuntfu logceka sincumo losentile. Nguwe lotawuhlangabetana nemiphumela yaloko lokukhetsile. “Ngulowo nalowo uyawutetfwalela umtfwalo wakhe.”​—Galathiya 6:5.

17. Nangabe umuntfu loshade naye angakenti bundlundlulu, ngusiphi seluleko lesivela eBhayibhelini lesimayelana nekuhlala ngekwehlukana nobe kudivosa?

¹⁷ Tikhona yini timo letivumela kutsi nihlale ngekwehlukana nobe udivose umuntfu loshade naye ngisho nobe angakenti bundlundlulu? Yebo tikhona, kodvwa esimeni lesinjena umKhristu akakakhululeki kutsi aphindze ashade nalomunye umuntfu. (Matewu 5:32) Nanobe liBhayibheli likuvumela kuhlala ngekwehlukana, kodvwa litsi lowo lowehlukana naloyo lashade naye kufanele ahlale “angendzi, nome-ke abuyisane” naye. (1 Khorinte 7:11) Ngutiphi letinye tetimo letimatima letingenta bantfu kutsi bahlale ngekwehlukana?

18, 19. Ngutiphi timo letiyingoti kakhulu letingenta umuntfu loshadile akhetse kuhlala ngekwehlukana nobe kudivosa, ngisho nobe angakavumeleki kuphindze ashade?

¹⁸ Umndeni ungase weswele ngesizatfu sekuvilapha kanye nemikhuba lemibi yendvodza.d Ingase igembule ngemali yayo nobe itsenge tidzakamiva kanye netjwala. LiBhayibheli litsi: “Nangabe umuntfu anganakekeli . . . umndeni wakhe, sewukulahlile kukholwa; futsi loko kwenta kwakhe kubi kakhulu kunekwemuntfu longakholwa.” (1 Thimothi 5:8) Nangabe lendvodza ingashintji tindlela tayo, futsi itsatsa imali yemfati wayo kute yente imikhuba yayo lemibi, umfati angakhetsa kuvikela kuphila kwakhe kanye nebantfwana bakhe ngekutsi bahlale ngekwehlukana ngalokusemtsetfweni.

¹⁹ Kuhlala ngekwehlukana kungase kucatjangelwe nalapho umlingani wemshado anebudlova kakhulu kulona lashade naye, mhlawumbe amshaya njalo kute kube ngulapho sekabona kutsi kuphila kwakhe sekusengotini. Ngetulu kwaloko, nangabe umlingani wemshado acindzetela lona lashade naye kutsi angayilaleli imiyalo yaNkulunkulu, loyo locindzetelwako angakhetsa kwehlukana naye, ikakhulukati nakabona kutsi loku kufaka buhlobo bakhe naJehova engotini. Loyo losengotini angaphetsa ngekutsi indlela lencono langaveta ngayo kutsi ‘ulalela Nkulunkulu kunekulalela bantfu,’ kuhlala ngekwehlukana ngalokusemtsetfweni.​—Imisebenti 5:29.

20. (a) Nangabe umndeni ubhidlika, yini bangani labavutsiwe kanye nalabadzala labangayenta, futsi yini lokungakafaneli bayente? (b) Bantfu labashadile akukafaneli basebentise loko lokushiwo liBhayibheli mayelana nekuhlala ngekwehlukana nobe ngekudivosa njengetaba tekwenta ini?

²⁰ Kuto tonkhe timo tekuhlukunyetwa kabuhlungu kwemuntfu loshadile, kute umuntfu lokufanele atjele lona lohlukunyetwako kutsi ahlukane nobe achubeke ahlala nemlingani wakhe. Nanobe bangani labavutsiwe kanye nalabadzala bangabasekela futsi babanike teluleko letingekwemBhalo, angeke bakwati konkhe lokuchubekako emkhatsini wendvodza nemfati. NguJehova kuphela lobonako. Kuliciniso kutsi umfati longumKhristu utawube angalihloniphi lilungiselelo laNkulunkulu lemshado nangabe abeka taba letingavakali kute adivose. Kodvwa-ke nangabe simo lesiyingoti sichubeka, kute umuntfu lokufanele amsole nangabe akhetse kwehlukana nemlingani wakhe. Loku kuyasebenta nasendvodzeni lengumKhristu lekhetsa kwehlukana nemfati wayo. “Sonkhe siyakuma embikwesihlalo sekwehlulela saNkulunkulu.”​—Roma 14:10.

21. Ngukuphi lokuhlangenwe nako lokuveta kutsi teluleko teliBhayibheli tiyasebenta emshadweni?

²¹ Ngemuva kwetinyanga letintsatfu Lucia lesikhulume ngaye ekucaleni, ahlukane nendvodza yakhe, wahlangana naboFakazi BaJehova futsi wacala kufundza nabo liBhayibheli. Uyachaza: “Ngamangala kakhulu ngesikhatsi ngibona liBhayibheli linginiketa tindlela lengingatilungisa ngayo tinkinga tami. Kwatsi nje ngemuva kwekufundza nabo liviki linye, besengifuna kubuyela endvodzeni yami. Lamuhla ngingasho kutsi Jehova uyakwati kusindzisa imishado etinkingeni ngobe timfundziso takhe tisita bantfu labashadile kutsi bahloniphane. Akusilo liciniso loko lokushiwo ngulabanye kutsi boFakazi BaJehova behlukanisa imindeni. Esimeni sami, kwenteke lokwehlukile kuloko.” Lucia wafundza kusebentisa timiso teliBhayibheli ekuphileni kwakhe.

22. Yini bantfu labashadile lokufanele bayetsembe?

²² Akusuye Lucia kuphela lowasitakala. Umshado kufanele ube sibusiso, hhayi umtfwalo. Jehova usilungiselele lithulusi lelihle kakhulu lelineteluleko tebantfu labashadile lelitendlula tonkhe​—lokuliVi lakhe leliligugu. LiBhayibheli ‘lihlakaniphisa labete lwati.’ (Tihlabelelo 19:7-11) Lisindzise imishado leminyenti lebeseyitawubhidlika futsi latfutfukisa naleyo lebeyinetinkinga letimatima. Shengatsi bonkhe bantfu labashadile bangatetsemba ngalokuphelele teluleko Nkulunkulu Jehova labanika tona. Tisebenta mbamba!