Ukuba Umntwana Wakho Uyaxhatshazwa

UKUZE uphelise ukuxhatshazwa, umele ukwazi xa ukubona. Kwiincwadi ezininzi ezithetha ngalo mbandela, iingcali ziye zadwelisa intlaninge yemiqondiso ebonakalayo yokuxhatshazwa leyo abazali banokuyondela. Phakathi kwale kukho: ukukhala ngeentlungu ezibakho ngoxa echama okanye xa ezithuma, ukuba nesifo kumalungu esini, ukugruzuka okanye izilonda kwiindawo ezijikeleze amalungu esini, ngequbuliso uqalisa ukuchama xa elele, ukuphelelwa ngumdla wokutya okanye ezinye iingxaki zokudla, ukuziphatha ngokomntu okhulileyo ngokwesini, ngesiquphe uyazoyika iindawo ezinjengesikolo okanye iindawo ezithile endlwini, amathuba okuphaphazela, ukoyika kakhulu ukukhulula, ukoyika ukuhlala yedwa nomntu amqhelileyo nokuzilimaza.

Noko ke, umele ulumke ungacingeli izinto ngokungxama. Inkoliso yezi mpawu ayisoloko ithetha ukuba okunene umntwana uye waxhatshazwa ngokwesini. Phawu ngalunye lusenokwalatha kwenye ingxaki. Kodwa, ukuba ubona iimpawu eziphazamisayo, xubusha naye ngalo mbandela ngokuthantamisayo, mhlawumbi ngokuthetha into enjengokuthi: “Ukuba nabani na ukhe akuphatha-phathe ngendlela ekwenza uzive ungakhululekanga, ndifuna wazi ukuba ngamaxesha onke unokundixelela loo nto, ibe ndiza kwenza konke endinako ukukukhusela. Ngaba nantoni na enjengaleyo yakha yenzeka kuwe?”—IMizekeliso 20:5.

Ukuba umntwana wakho ukuxelela ngokuxhatshazwa kwakhe ngokwesini, ngokungathandabuzekiyo uya kuphazamiseka kakhulu. Kodwa khumbula oku: Indlela osabela ngayo iya kuba nendima enkulu ekuchacheni komntwana. Umntwana wakho ubethwele uxanduva olunganyamezelekiyo ibe ufuna ukuba wena, ekubeni unawo onke la mandla obuntu obukhulu, umothule olo xanduva kuye. Mncome umntwana ngokubonakalisa inkalipho kangaka aze akuxelele oko kwenzekileyo. Mqinisekise ngokuphindaphindiweyo umntwana ukuba uya kwenza unako nako ukumkhusela; ukuba ukuxhatshazwa asilotyala lomntwana koko lelalowo ubemxhaphaza; ukuba akangomntwana “ombi”; ukuba uyamthanda lo mntwana.

Zimbi iingcali kwezomthetho zicebisa ukuba oko kuxhatshazwa kuchazwe kwabasemagunyeni kamsinya kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Kwamanye amazwe inkqubo yezomthetho isenokukugunyazisa oku. Kodwa kwezinye iindawo inkqubo yezomthetho isenokungathembisi ukuba ityala liya kusingathwa ngokuphumelelayo.

Noko ke, kuthekani ukuba umxhaphazi liqabane likabani alithandayo? Okubuhlungu gqitha kukuba, amabhinqa amaninzi akathabathi nyathelo lingqalileyo. Kambe ke, akuze kube lula ukujamelana nesibakala esingathandekiyo sokuba iqabane lingumxhaphazi womntwana. Amaqhina akhoyo ngokweemvakalelo, nkqu nokuxhomekeka kulo ngemali, asenokulenza loyisakale ngakumbi. Kanjalo umfazi owoniweyo usenokuqonda ukuba ukwenza okuthile kunokubangela ukuba indoda yakhe iphulukane nentsapho yayo, umsebenzi wayo, udumo lwayo.a Noko ke, okunene isibakala sesokuba loo ndoda isenokuba nje ivuna oko ikuhlwayeleyo. (Galati 6:7) Kwelinye icala, abantwana abangenatyala kunokwenzeka baphulukane nokungakumbi ukuba awukukholelwa oko bakuthethayo uze ubakhusele. Ikamva labo liphela lisengozini. Abanawo amandla okunyamezela abantu abakhulileyo abanawo. Le ntlekele inokubenzakalisa ize ibenze babe nembono ephixeneyo ngobomi. Ngabo abafuna nabafanelwe yimpatho yothando.—Thelekisa iGenesis 33:13, 14.

Ngoko ke abazali bamele benze yonke imigudu esengqiqweni yokukhusela abantwana babo! Abazali abaninzi abanenkathalo bakhetha ukufuna uncedo lwengcali ukuze kuncedwe umntwana oxhatshaziweyo. Kanye njengoko ubuya kwenjenjalo ngogqirha wezamayeza, qiniseka ukuba nayiphi na ingcali enjalo iya kuzihlonela iimbono zakho zonqulo.b Mncede umntwana wakho abuyise ukuzithemba kwakhe okuphazanyisiweyo ngokumbonisa ngokuthe ngcembe uthando lobuzali.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]