Ngaba Sikho Isizathu Sokuba Nethemba?

“Enye ingxaki yemitshato eneenkathazo kukweyiseka kwelokuba izinto azinakuze zilunge. Olo lweyiseko luphazamisana nokutshintsha kwezinto kuba lukwenza ungazami nantoni na enokuba luncedo.”—UGQR. AARON T. BECK.

KHAWUBE nomfanekiso-ngqondweni wakho utsheqwa ziintlungu uze uye kugqirha ukuze akuxilonge. Uxhalabile—yaye ufanele ukuxhalaba. Ngapha koko, impilo yakho—kwanobomi bakho—busenokuba busengozini. Kodwa masithi emva kokuba ekuxilongile, ugqirha ukuxelela iindaba ezimnandi zokuba ngoxa ingxaki yakho ingekho ncinane, inako ukunyangwa. Enyanisweni, ugqirha ukuxelela ukuba, ukuba unokuthi ngenyameko ulandele ucwangciso olufanelekileyo lokutya nokwenza umthambo, unokuphila qete. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo kungathi xibilili uvalo uze ulandele olu cwangciso ngovuyo!

Thelekisa le meko nombandela esiwuxubushayo ngoku. Ngaba uthwaxwa ziintlungu emtshatweni wakho? Kakade ke, mtshato ngamnye uneengxaki zawo nokungavumelani. Ngoko isibakala sokuba kubekho amaxesha anzima emtshatweni wakho asithethi ukuba umtshato wakho awunaluthando. Kodwa kuthekani ukuba ezi ntlungu zithe gqolo kangangeeveki, iinyanga, okanye kwaneminyaka? Ukuba kunjalo, ufanele ukuxhalaba, kuba oku akuyonto nje ingenamsebenzi. Enyanisweni, indlela oyiyo umtshato wakho inokuchaphazela phantse zonke iinkalo zobomi bakho—nobabantwana bakho. Ngokomzekelo kucingelwa ukuba, iingxaki zomtshato zisenokuba ngunobangela ophambili weengxaki ezifana nodandatheko, ukungasebenzi ngokuzimisela nokungaqhubi kakuhle kwabantwana esikolweni. Kodwa akuphelelanga apho. AmaKristu ayaqonda ukuba ulwamano analo namaqabane awo lunokuchaphazela ulwalamano analo noThixo.—1 Petros 3:7.

Isibakala sokuba ube neengxaki neqabane lakho asithethi ukuba aphelil’ amathemba. Ukujamelana nezibakala zomtshato—zokuba ubunzima buya kubakho—kunokusinceda isibini sijonge iingxaki zaso ngeliso elibanzi size sikhangele izicombululo. Enye indoda egama linguIsaac ithi: “Ndandingayiqondi into yokuba kuqhelekile ukuba izibini zikhe zibe namahla-ndinyuka kulonwabo lwazo emtshatweni. Ndandicinga ukuba ikho into ephosakeleyo ngathi!”

Kwanokuba umtshato wakho sele ufikelele kwinqanaba lokungabi naluthando, unokusindiswa. Kuyavunywa ukuba, intlungu enokubangelwa lulwalamano oluneenkathazo inokuba nzulu, ingakumbi ukuba ezi ngxaki bezikho ukutyhubela iminyaka. Sekunjalo sisekho isizathu sokuba nethemba. Inkalo ebalulekileyo kukungayekeleli umxakatho. Nabantu ababini abaneengxaki zomtshato ezinzulu banokuphucula ukuba oko bakugqala kubalulekile.a

Ngoko zibuze, ‘Ndikunqwenela ngamandla kangakanani ukuba nolwalamano olwanelisayo?’ Ngaba wena neqabane lakho nizimisele ukwenza umgudu wokuphucula umtshato wenu? UGqr. Beck okhankanywe ngaphambilana uthi: “Bendisoloko ndimangaliswa yindlela ekunokwenziwa ngayo ukomeleza ulwalamano olubonakala lumaxongo xa amaqabane encedisana ukuze alungise ingxaki aze omeleze amaqhina omtshato wawo.” Kodwa kuthekani ukuba iqabane lakho alifuni kwenza mgudu? Okanye kuthekani ukuba alisikhathalele isibakala sokuba kukho ingxaki? Ngaba kukuchitha ixesha ukuzama ukuwulungisa wedwa umtshato? Akunjalo konke konke! UGqr. Beck uthi: “Ukuba wena uyatshintsha, loo nto inokwenza iqabane lakho litshintshe—yaye oko kusoloko kusenzeka.”

Musa ukungxama ngokuthi oku akunakwenzeka kuwe. Ukuxhom’ izandla kunokuba sesona sisongelo somtshato wakho! Omnye wenu ufanele athabathe inyathelo lokuqala. Kutheni kungaqali wena nje? Wakuba uthabathe inyathelo lokuqala, iqabane lakho lisenokuyibona ingenelo yokuncedisana nawe ekwakheni umtshato owonwabisayo.

Ngoko ke, yintoni eninokuyenza—wena wedwa okanye njengesibini—ukuze nisindise umtshato wenu? IBhayibhile iluncedo olunamandla ekuphenduleni lo mbuzo. Makhe sibone ukuba ikwenza njani oko.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]