Ukusondela KuThixo Kwandinceda Ndaphumelela

NDANDINGENAMDLA elunqulweni. Lonke unqulo olumanyeneyo lwalukhangeleka luhanahanisa kum. Ndandingaboni nto ingako lwaluyenzela abantu, ngaphandle kokubenza bangabanyamezeli abanye. Kwakusekupheleni kweminyaka yee-1960. Umongameli waseUnited States wayegetyengiwe, yaye amawaka abantu ayesifa kwimfazwe yaseVietnam. Ihlabathi lalisengxakini. Izinto zazingandihambeli kakuhle ebomini bam. Wayenokubakho njani uThixo ondikhathaleleyo okanye okhathalele nabanye abantu?

Ndandineminyaka engama-27 ubudala, nditshatile yaye ndinabantwana ababini, yaye ndisebenza ngokusisigxina kwiziko labagula ngengqondo xa ummelwane wam waqalisa ukuncokola nam ngeBhayibhile. Ngokungummangaliso, ndazibona ndiphulaphula. Wathetha ngoko wayekubiza ngokuba yimihla yokugqibela. Wayevakala ngendlela eyahlukileyo, yaye ndandifuna iimpendulo kwimibuzo endandinayo. Wandishiya nencwadi enomxholo othi INyaniso eKhokelela kuBomi obungunaPhakade. Ndayifunda ngobusuku obunye, ndikhangela zonke izibhalo ezikuyo, yaye ndaqabuka sendizibuza oku, ‘Ngaba ndiyifumene ngokwenene inyaniso?’

Ukuba ndandiyifumene, yazisa ingxaki. Ndazalwa yintsapho engamaYuda, ndinomyeni nabantwana ababini abangamaYuda kunye nezalamane ezingamaYuda. Ndandisazi ukuba babeza kukhathazeka ukuba ndandiza kuba ngomnye wamaNgqina kaYehova. Ndandingafuni ukukhathaza intsapho yam ngokungeyomfuneko; ndandimele ndiqiniseke kuqala. Ndaqala ndafunda ngomdla uncwadi lweBhayibhile. Kwisithuba seveki ndeyiseka kwelokuba le yayiyinyaniso. Ukufunda inyaniso yinto endandimele ndiyenze. Ngoko ndaqalisa ukufundisisa namaNgqina kaYehova. Kwisithuba seeveki ndandishumayela kubantu bonke. Ndavuyiswa kukufunda ukuba igama likaThixo nguYehova, nokuba unenkathalo ngam nangoluntu lonke, nokuba ubomi obungunaphakade emhlabeni babungelophupha. NgoJuni 12, 1970 ndabhaptizwa.

Njengoko ndandikhe ndakrokra, intsapho yam kunye nabantu basemzini wam bakhathazeka kakhulu, yaye bambi babo bandityeshela. Umyeni wam wayefundisisa manqapha-nqapha kangangeminyaka kodwa akazange abe likholwa. Noko ke, abantwana bam baba ngamaNgqina kaYehova. Ekuqaleni, ndandifuna ukuba ngumlungiseleli wexesha elizeleyo, ndishumayele iindaba ezilungileyo zoBukumkani bukaThixo kwindlu ngendlu. Kodwa ndandinentsapho ekhulayo kunye nomyeni ongakholwayo. Nakuba ndandisebenza ngokusisigxina saphulukana nezindlu ezimbini ngenxa yokungakwazi ukuzihlawula yaye izihlandlo ezininzi sasingenandawo yokuhlala. Ubomi bethu babungamahla-ndinyuka.

Ngesinye isihlandlo indlu yethu yayithinjwa. Kwakufuneka sibe ngaphandle kwamasango ayo emini emaqanda ngeCawa, yaye kwakungekho apho siza kuya khona. Ndenza konke endandinokukwenza, yaye ekugqibeleni ngentsasa yangoMgqibelo usuku olungaphambi kokuba sihambe, ndagqiba kwelokuba ndandimele ndenze njengoko uYesu watshoyo kuMateyu 6:33—ukufuna tanci uBukumkani ndize ndilindele kuYehova andilungiselele zonke izinto endandiziswele. Ndaya kubulungiseleli bam basesidlangaleni. Ndikhumbula ndilila ngenxa yengcinezelo eyayibangelwa yimeko esasikuyo, kodwa kwisithuba semizuzu emihlanu kamva imeko yayingasafani. Ndandisoloko ndifumanisa ukuba ukushumayela kunemiphumo emihle kum; kuyandivuyisa phezu kwazo nje iingxaki yaye umoya kaYehova undigcina ndonwabile, ndineziqhamo ibe wenza ubomi bam bube nenjongo. Phofu ke, xa ndandibuyela ekhaya loo mini, sasingekabi nandawo siza kuya kuyo, kodwa ndandiziva ndonwabile.

Ngolo rhatya safumana umnxeba ovela kwindawo ethengisa iziza kunye nezindlu eyayisingatha iimfuno zethu. Kwakungeye–11:30 ezinzulwini zobusuku yaye umthengisi womhlaba nezindlu wayexhalabe kakhulu kuba sasingenandawo siza kuya kuyo kangangokuba wasifunela indawo yokuxhwarha de kulunge indlu esasimele siyifumane. Ngoko ngeCawa amanye amaNgqina asifudusela kuloo ndlu. Sahlala apho kangangeeveki ezintathu, impahla yethu ihleli ezibhokisini yaye ekugqibeleni yalunga indlu yethu safudukela kuyo. Kwakungeyondlwan’ iyanetha, kodwa uYehova wazilungiselela iintswelo zethu. Oku kwandomeleza ngakumbi yaye kwalwakha ukholo lwam. Kwakunjengokuba uKumkani uDavide watshoyo kwiNdumiso 37:25: “Ndakha ndamtsha, kungokunje ndimdala; ukanti andizanga ndilibone ilungisa lishiywa, nembewu yalo ivukela ukutya.”

Kwakukho iingxaki kwindlela yokusebenzisa imali yentsapho. Maxa wambi, kwakufuneka ndiyicwangcise ngokwam indlela yokusetyenziswa kwemali ndize ndilungise zonke izinto. Ngenxa yothando lwam ngoYehova nentlonelo ngelungiselelo lakhe lomtshato, ndazama ngamandla ukugcina umtshato wethu umanyene kule minyaka, yaye ngaphakathi ndandinomnqweno wokuba kwanga umyeni wam angaguquka aze angene enyanisweni.

Ndandisoloko ndithandazela ubuvulindlela obuthe ngxi, yaye ngawo onke amathuba endiwafumanayo ndabhalisa njengovulindlela ongumncedani.a Ndandisazi ukuba ukushumayela kwakuyeyona ndlela ibalulekileyo endandinokubusebenzisa ngayo ubomi bam. Ndandimthanda uYehova yaye ndifuna ukumkhonza ngomphefumlo uphela. Ndandibathanda nabantu yaye ndinomnqweno wokubanceda. Ukususela kwindlela endandibuphila nzima ngayo ubomi bam ndayixabisa indlela eluncedo ngayo imigaqo yeBhayibhile yaye ndandisazi ukuba abantu babefanele bazi ngethemba esililungiselelwe buBukumkani. Kodwa ndandinexhala lokuba intsapho yam yayingayi kuphila ukuba ndandingasebenzi. Kodwa nakuba kwakunjalo sasiphila nzima.

Ndakhala, Isidlwengu Sabaleka

Ngoko kwenzeka nto ithile ebomini bam eyandibangela ndanokholo lokuba uYehova uya kusoloko endinceda yaye endikhathalele. Mntu uthile waqhekeza endlwini yam waza wazama ukundidlwengula. Wandihlasela ngoxa ndandilele, yaye xa ndandivuka wandisongela ngokundibulala ukuba nje ndikhe ndakhala okanye ndashukuma. Nangona ndandiqhiphuk’ umbilini, uYehova wandinceda ndazola ndaza ndasezingqondweni ukuba ndingakwazi ukuthandaza ndize ndicinge ngeyona ndlela ndinokusinda ngayo. Ndandikwazi oko iBhayibhile ikutshoyo ngokukhala kodwa ndacinga ukuba mhlawumbi wayenokundibulala xa ndandinokukhala, ngoko abantwana bam babeza kuvuka, ibe wayeza kubabulala. Ndaba nombono wegama lam livakaliswa kwimiphanga ndaza ndathandazela ukuba uYehova aze abakhusele abantwana bam ukuba ndifile. Sekunjalo, ndenza oko iBhayibhile ikutshoyo—ndakhala. (Duteronomi 22:26, 27) Isidlwengu sabaleka. Ngobo busuku ndandiqinisekile ukuba ndandiza kufa. Ndasondela ngakumbi kuYehova.

Ngowe-1975 ndawushiya umsebenzi wam ndaza ndakhonza njengovulindlela othe ngxi. Ndasebenza njengovulindlela kangangeminyaka emithandathu, yaye umyeni wam wayewahlawula ngokwakhe amatyala. Okubuhlungu kukuba, ndaba nesifo seswekile ndisemncinane yaye ngesinye isihlandlo ndandigula kakhulu. Ukuze ndikwazi ukujamelana noko kugula ndaqhubeka ndixhomekeke ngakumbi nangakumbi kuYehova. Phezu kwazo nje iimeko endandikuzo, leyo yaba yeyona minyaka yolonwabo nenemveliso engakumbi endingazange ndibe nayo ukuza kuthi ga ngelo xesha. UYehova wandisikelela ngezifundo zeBhayibhile ezininzi ezaqhubela phambili de zabhaptizwa. Bambi baqhubeka de nabo bangoovulindlela.

Ngoko, ngowe-1980, izinto zazingahambi kakuhle ebomini bethu. Kwaqalisa ukuphela kothando phakathi kwam nomyeni wam. Abantwana bam babekhathazeke kakhulu, ngoko ngenxa yabo ndazama ukuwusindisa umtshato wethu, kodwa umyeni wam akazange ayinanze imigudu yam. Ngoku ndaqonda ukuba yayilixesha lokuba siqhawule umtshato olusekelwe eZibhalweni. Ukumka kwakhe kwakubangela usizi ebantwaneni bam.

Ngeli thuba ndandizama ngako konke ukuqhubeka nobuvulindlela yaye ndakwazi kangangonyaka ukubambelela kubo. Noko ke, ingakwazi ukujamelana nale meko, intombi yam yaqalisa ukuvukela yonke into, kuquka inyaniso kunye nam. Ngesi sihlandlo ndabuyeka ubuvulindlela ngenxa yesimo sengqondo sayo. Oku kwandityumz’ intliziyo; kwakungathi mandife. Ndaziva ndililolo, ngokungathi ndishiywe yinto yonke ngaphandle koYehova.

Kwakumalunga nesi sihlandlo awathi uYehova walungiselela abazalwana ababini abathandekayo abandinceda gqitha nangona bona bengasokuze bayazi loo nto. Omnye yayingumveleli wesiphaluka, yaye omnye yayingumdala welinye ibandla owayezazi iimeko zethu, njengoko wayefundela umyeni wam. Ndiswel’ amazwi endinokumbulela ngawo uYehova ngezi ziphiwo zala madoda. Aya kusoloko ethandeka kum.

Kungekudala emva koko, intombi yam yatshatela ngaphandle enyanisweni isencinane kakhulu. Oku kwayahlukanisa intsapho kwaza kwaliphelisa ngokupheleleyo ithemba lethu. Kungekudala emva koko unyana wam wayishiya inyaniso. Ndandisoloko ndithandazela ukuba uYehova ayincede intsapho yam ihlale enyanisweni. Yayixabiseke kakhulu kum, yaye ekuphela kwento endandiyifuna ngamandla kukuba ihlale noYehova. Lo yayisoloko ingumthandazo wam kubo bonke ubomi bam ndisenyanisweni. Elo xesha lalinzima kum ngaphezu kwayo yonke iminyaka engama-20 yomtshato—yaye yayimibi. Phofu ke, ndandisazi ukuba nakanjani na uYehova wayeya kusinceda siphumelele, yaye nokuba kwenzeka ntoni, ndandimele ndenze ukuthanda kwakhe.

Kukho esinye isiganeko endisikhumbula kakuhle. Ndandisenguvulindlela yaye sasingenamali kodwa kwakufuneka malunga nama-R200 esasiza kuwasebenzisa evekini ndize ndibe nemali yokuphangela kwiveki elandelayo. Ndandisebenze iintsuku ezimbini njengomqeshwa wokwethutyana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwakufuneka ndilinde ixesha elingangeveki ukuze ndifumane umvuzo wam—ongangee-R114. Ndandingenamali yokuthenga ukutya, ndingasathethi ke ngeyento yokuhamba. Ngobusuku obulandelayo ndaqhuba isifundo seBhayibhile nomfazi owakwaziyo ukundinceda ngokundinika amatikiti kaloliwe ohamba phantsi komhlaba.

KwakungoLwesihlanu ngentsasa elandelayo. Ndaya kuthabatha iposi, yaye kwakukho iincwadi ezimbini. Enye yayiyitsheke endandiyilindele kwiveki ezayo. Yasiwa kwibhanki esedolophini yaza yona yayifaka kwi-akhawunti yam kungekapheli neentsuku ezintathu. Ndandimangalisiwe. Ndandisafuna ii-R86 okanye ii-R87 ukuze ndiqhubeke ndiphila. Kwimvulophu yesibini yayiyimali engama-R86, kanye le ndandiyifuna. Eyona nto imangalisayo ngoku kukuba ngoFebruwari waloo nyaka, urhulumente wandipha imali yokuthenga ioli yokufudumeza indlu yam. Ngoku kwakungoAgasti yaye bacinga ukuba bandityala ii-R86—kungoAgasti, kodwa bafuna ndifudumeze indlu? Kwakutheni ukuze bacinge ukuba bayandityala, yaye nasezintweni bacinge ngeoli ngoAgasti? Hayi indlela olomelela ngayo ukholo lwam ngenxa yoku!

Izinto Eziphathekayo Azisosicombululo

Ndaqalisa umsebenzi osisigxina ndaza ndafunda nokusebenzisa ikhompyutha kwimisebenzi endandiyenza. Iminyaka endandingengovulindlela ngayo yayinzima kakhulu. Nakubeni ndandinomsebenzi osemagqabini yaye ndinqabisekile ngokwasemalini nangezinto eziphathekayo, ndandingonwabanga. Abantwana bam babezihlalela yaye beneengxaki ezinzima. Intombi yam yayibuyela enyanisweni kodwa yayiseneengxaki. Nonyana wam wayenezakhe iingxaki. Ethubeni, ndavakalelwa kukuba ndilahlekelwa loluya lwalamano lwam lusondeleyo noYehova endandisoloko ndiluxabisa gqitha. Ndaziva ukuba ndiyemka kuYehova nakubeni kwakungekho mntu wumbi wayenokuyiqonda loo nto. Ndandibakho kuzo zonke iintlanganiso, ndifundisisa, ndisiya enkonzweni yasentsimini, kodwa oko kwakunganele. Ndazama ukuzonwabisa ngakumbi nabahlobo, kodwa oko akuzange kuncede nto.

Ndaqalisa ukuzisizela. Ndaqalisa ukukhukhumala nokuzicingela. Ngaba ndandingafanelwanga kukufumana okungakumbi? Ngokucacileyo, uSathana wayefuna ukuba ndicinge ngolo hlobo. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala, ndazifumanisa ndiqalisa ukutsaleleka ebantwini endisebenza nabo. Ndacinga, ‘Heke, ndiza kushumayela kubo.’ Yaye ndakwenza oko. Kodwa ngaphakathi ndandivakalelwa kukuba intliziyo yam yayiqalisa ukutyeshela izinto ezibalulekileyo. Yayingezongxaki zangaphandle. Yayindim ngokwam. Ndandingenakusibaleka isazela sam esiqeqeshwe yiBhayibhile. Ndathandaza kuYehova.

Ndandisebenza ngokusisigxina. Kwakufuneka ndincame izinto eziphathekayo endandiziqwebile nezazindenza ndizive ndinqabisekile. Ndandisendleleni iiyure ezintathu ngemini ukusuka eLong Island ukuya eWall Street. Elingako ukuba lininzi ixesha! Kwakhona, ukujamelana nabantu abaninzi behlabathi koololiwe akuzange kundincede. Ndaqalisa ukuthetha nabadala ndisiya nakwindibano ngeempelaveki ukuze ndincedwe nditsolise amehlo am kwizinto ezibalulekileyo. Okwesihlandlo sokuqala ebomini bam akuzange kufuneke ndizikhathaze ngezinto eziphathekayo, ngoko kutheni ngoku ndifuna ukuphinda nditsale nzima? Emva konyaka ndithandaza, ndicingisisa ngenyameko enoba ndifanele ndenze inguqulelo ebomini bam, ndayenza.

Ndafudukela kummandla waseBrooklyn Heights. Ndatyelela ibandla yaye ndaqonda ukuba ubumoya balapho babuyilento kanye ndandiyifuna. Uninzi lwamaNgqina athembekileyo, akhonza ixesha elizeleyo kangangeminyaka emininzi—kwandenza ndaziva ndisekhaya. Kwiinyanga ezintandathu ndandikulungele ukuyeka umsebenzi wam ndize ndibe nguvulindlela. Ndafumana umsebenzi wesingxungxo, yaye ngowe-1984, kwakhona ndamiselwa njengovulindlela othe ngxi.

Ukutyhubela iminyaka, uYehova undisikelele ngokumangalisayo yaye undifundise izinto ezininzi, eziluncedo. Ndizamile ukuhlala ndinethemba yaye ndifumana isifundo kuvavanyo ngalunye endilufumanayo. Asilohlazo ukuba neengxaki; isono sibakho ngokungasebenzisi imigaqo yeBhayibhile ekuzicombululeni. Apha eBrooklyn, andinazo iingxaki ezifana nezeminyaka yam ndisemtsha enyanisweni. Iingxaki zemali azisekho. Umyeni ongakholwayo akaseyongxaki. Intliziyo yam ithuthuzelekile. Ndisikelelwe ngenkitha yabantwana bokomoya.

Kodwa kusoloko kukho iingxaki ezivelayo nezinto ezilucelomngeni. Ngowe-1987, unyana wam uMarc waba nophazamiseko lwengqondo kwaye wadandatheka ngokunzulu, kodwa sekunjalo uYehova wasinceda. UMarc ngoku uzabalazela amalungelo enkonzo yaye uqhuba kakuhle ebandleni. Intombi yam uAndrea, yabuyela enyanisweni yaza yabhaptizwa yaye ikhulisela abantwana bayo enyanisweni. Ekubeni sisondela ngokukhawuleza kwimbandezelo enkulu, ndilindele ukuba iingxaki ziqhubele phambili yaye mhlawumbi zide zibe ngaphezulu, kodwa uYehova uya kusoloko ekho ukuze asincede kuyo nayiphi na imiqobo okanye ucelomngeni olunokubakho.

Enyanisweni, uYehova undincedile ukuze ndibe nobomi obonwabisayo nobunempumelelo engakumbi. Ndikhangele phambili ekusebenziseni bonke ubomi bam ndisondele kuye yaye ndisenza ukuthanda kwakhe.—Ngokubaliswa nguMarlene Pavlow.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 30]

UMarlene Pavlow, umvakalisi wexesha elizeleyo weendaba ezilungileyo zoBukumkani