Imbono YeBhayibhile

Yintoni Ephosakeleyo Ngokudlala Ngothando?

“Kutheni ukudlala ngothando sikucingela njengokuxhaphaza okanye ukukhohlisa okanye njengokuphosakeleyo? Akunjalo! Ngumdlalo nje! Kuyonwabisa kuba wenza nomnye umntu onwabe.”—Susan Rabin, umalathisi weSikolo Sokudlala Ngothando, kwisiXeko saseNew York.

ABANTU abaninzi bakujonga ukudlala ngothando njengento efanelekileyo, nengenabungozi kwaneyimfuneko ekwakheni nasekulondolozeni ulwalamano phakathi kwabantu. Kumazwe aseNtshona, kukho ukwanda okutsha kweencwadi, amanqaku akumaphephancwadi kwakunye neendlela ezikhethekileyo ezifundisa ngezimbo zomzimba, iindlela zokuma, ukuthetha ngamehlo, nokujonga, nto ezo ezingundoqo “kubuchule bokudlala ngothando.”

Kukuthini ukudlala ngothando? Kukho iinkcazelo neengcaciso ezahlukahlukeneyo. Esinye isichazi-magama sikuchaza njengokuthi ‘ukufeketha ngothando okanye ukuhendela ekuziphatheni okubi ngokwesini.’ Esinye isichazi-magama sikuchaza ukudlala ngothando “njengokubonakalisa uthando ube ungenanjongo.” Ngenxa yoko, kubonakala kusamkelwa ngokubanzi ukucingela ukuba umntu odlala ngothando ngumntu obonisa umdla wothando engenanjongo zomtshato. Ngaba ukudlala ngothando kufanele kujongwe njengento engenabungozi? Yintoni imbono yeBhayibhile ngokudlala ngothando?a

Nangona ukudlala ngothando kungakhankanywa ngokungqalileyo eZibhalweni, sinako ukufumanisa imbono kaThixo ngako. Njani? Ngokuhlolisisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile ephathelele lo mbandela. Ngaloo ndlela sikhulisa ‘amandla ethu okuqonda ukuze sahlule okulungileyo kokubi.’ (Hebhere 5:14) Okokuqala, masiqwalasele enoba ukudlala ngothando kwabantu abatshatileyo kufanelekile kusini na.

Ukuba Ubani Utshatile

Kungokwemvelo ngezibini ezitshatileyo ukuba ngasese zibonakalise ukuyotywa luthando ngomnye. (Thelekisa iGenesis 26:8.) Kodwa ukubonisa ingqalelo enjalo komnye ongaphandle komtshato kuchasene nemigaqo kaThixo. UYehova wayenenjongo yokuba izibini ezitshatileyo zibe nolwalamano olusondeleyo yaye zithembane. (Genesis 2:24; Efese 5:21-33) Uwujonga umtshato njengobekekileyo, umanyano olusisigxina. UMalaki 2:16 uthi ngoThixo: ‘Ukuthiyile ukwala.’b

Ngaba ukudlala ngothando komntu otshatileyo akungqubani nembono kaThixo ngomtshato? Kungumbandela onzulu, kuba lowo udlala ngothando emtshatweni ubonisa ukungabi nantlonelo ngelungiselelo elingcwele likaThixo lomtshato. Ngaphezu koko, eyabase-Efese 5:33 ayalela umyeni ongumKristu ukuba “amthande umfazi wakhe njengoko esenjenjalo kuye” yaye umfazi “abe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” Ngaba ukudlala ngothando, okuvusa ikhwele, kubonisa uthando okanye intlonelo ngeqabane likabani?

Okulusizi ngakumbi kukuba ukudlala ngothando kunokukhokelela ekukrexezeni, isono uYehova asigweba ngokuphandle nasichaza njengokungathembeki. (Eksodus 20:14; Levitikus 20:10; Malaki 2:14, 15; Marko 10:17-19) Eneneni, uYehova ukugqala ukukrexeza njengokunzulu kangangokuba amaxhoba okungathembeki emtshatweni uyawavumela aliqhawule iqhina lomtshato. (Mateyu 5:32) Ke ngoko, ngaba sicinga ukuba uYehova unokuvumela umdlalo oyingozi kangako onjengokudlala ngothando? UThixo akanakuvumela into enjalo njengokuba umzali onothando ebengayi kuvumela umntwana wakhe omncinane adlale ngemela ebukhali.

Ngokuphathelele ukrexezo iBhayibhile ilumkisa ngokuthi: “Umntu unokuwuthabatha na umlilo ase esifubeni sakhe, zingatshi na iingubo zakhe? Unokuhamba na umntu phezu kwamalahle avuthayo, zingatyabuki na iinyawo zakhe? Unjalo ongena emfazini wommelwane wakhe; akukho namnye umchukumisayo, oya kuba msulwa.” (IMizekeliso 6:27-29) Noko ke, kwanokuba ukukrexeza akubandakanyekanga, umntu otshatileyo odlala ngothando uzithezela olunenkume—ngokuthi abandakanyeke koko kubizwa ngokuba “kukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo.”

Ukusondelelana Ngokweemvakalelo

Bambi abantu baye bahlakulela ulwalamano ngaphandle kwemitshato yabo nalapho kuye kukhule iimvakalelo zothando, nangona kungekho zintlobano zasini. Noko ke, uYesu walumkisa wathi: “Wonk’ ubani othi gqolo ekhangela umfazi khon’ ukuze abe nenkanuko ngaye sele ekrexezile naye entliziyweni yakhe.” (Mateyu 5:28) Kwakutheni ukuze uYesu akwalele ukukrexeza ngentliziyo?

Uthunywashe ophambili kukuba “entliziyweni kuphuma . . . ukukrexeza.” (Mateyu 15:19) Noko ke, ulwalamano olunjalo luyingozi nakuba kungadanga kufikelelwe kwinqanaba lokukrexeza. Kwenzeka njani oku? Enye incwadi exubusha ngalo mbandela icacisa ithi: “Nasiphi na isenzo okanye ulwalamano olukuhlutha ixesha elininzi namandla kubomi neqabane lakho luhlobo lokungathembeki.” Ewe, ukusondelelana ngokweemvakalelo kuchitha ixesha leqabane likabani, ingqalelo nothando. Ngokwembono yomyalelo kaYesu wokwenza kwabanye njengoko sifuna benze kwangokunjalo kuthi, odlala ngothando etshatile uya kuba wenza kakuhle ukuzibuza oku, ‘Bendiya kuvakalelwa njani ukuba iqabane lam beliziphethe ngolu hlobo nomnye umntu?’—IMizekeliso 5:15-23; Mateyu 7:12.

Ukuba umntu ebesele engene ngeenyawo zombini kolu lwalamano lungafanelekanga umele enze ntoni? Umntu otshatileyo oneemvakalelo ezingafanelekanga ufana nomqhubi ohliwa bubuthongo esemva kwevili. Ufuna ukuvuswa emaqandeni yaye angaphozisi maseko ukuthabath’ inyathelo ngaphambi kokuba aphulukane nomtshato wakhe kwakunye nolwalamano lwakhe noThixo. UYesu wabonisa imfuneko yokuthabatha isenzo esingqongqo xa wathi neyona nto ixabiseke njengeliso ifanele inyothulwe okanye isandla sinqunyulwe ukuba siya konakalisa ukuma okuhle kukabani noThixo.—Mateyu 5:29, 30.

Ngenxa yoko kuya kuba bubulumko ukuwanciphisa amathuba okubonana naloo mntu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, kuphephe ukuba wedwa naloo mntu, yaye ukuba kukwimeko yomsebenzi, nciphisa amathuba okuncokola naye. Kusenokuba yimfuneko nokuphelisa zonke iindlela zokunxulumana naye. Emva koko, ufanele ulwele ukuzeyisa okungqongqo ngokuphathelele iliso lakho, iingcinga, iimvakalelo nendlela yokuziphatha. (Genesis 39:7-12; INdumiso 19:14; IMizekeliso 4:23; 1 Tesalonika 4:4-6) UYobhi, indoda eyayitshatile, wamisela umzekelo obalaseleyo xa wathi: “Ndiwamisele amehlo am umnqophiso; Ndingathini na ukuqwalasela entombini?”—Yobhi 31:1.

Ngokucacileyo, kuyingozi yaye akuvumelani neZibhalo ukudlala ngothando komntu otshatileyo. Noko ke, yintoni imbono yeBhayibhile ngokudlala ngothando kwabantu abangatshatanga? Ngaba kumele kugqalwe njengokufanelekileyo, okungenabungozi okanye okuyimfuneko ekwakheni ubuhlobo nowesini esahlukileyo? Ngaba oku kunokwenzakalisa?

Kuthekani Ngabangatshatanga?

Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngabantu ababini abangatshatanga ukubonakalisa umdla wothando omnye komnye, ukuba baceba ukutshata yaye bayayiphepha ihambo engahlambulukanga. (Galati 5:19-21) Umdla onjalo unokubakho kumanqanaba okuqala okuthandana ngaphambi komtshato xa kusekude ukuba kutshatwe. Oku akuyonto ingafanelekanga xa iinjongo zintle. Uhlobo olunjalo lokuziphatha eneneni asikokudlala ngothando.

Kuthekani ukuba abantu abangatshatanga babonisa iimpawu zothando omnye komnye ukwenzela nje ukuzonwabisa? Kusenokubonakala kungeyongozi, ekubeni bengatshatanga. Noko ke, cinga ngokwenzakala kweemvakalelo nto leyo esenokwenzeka. Ukuba indlela yokudlala ngothando kabani ithatyathwa njengegabadeleyo kunokuba bekucingwa, kunokuphumela kwintlungu egqithiseleyo nakwintliziyo elihlwili. Hayi indlela ayinyaniso ngayo amazwi eMizekeliso 13:12, athi: “Ukulindela okubanjezelweyo kubulala intliziyo; ungumthi wobomi umnqweno ofezekileyo”! Kwanokuba abo bantu bobabini bazibanga beqonda ukuba akukho unomdla ngokunzulu komnye—ngaba omnye unokuqiniseka ngoko ngokwenene omnye akucingayo okanye ngeemvakalelo zakhe? IBhayibhile iyaphendula: “Intliziyo inenkohliso ngaphezu kweento zonke, isisifo esibi; ngubani na onokuyazi?”—Yeremiya 17:9; thelekisa abaseFilipi 2:4.

Kwakhona, cinga ngengozi yohenyuzo, nemiphumo yalo yesifo okanye ukukhulelwa ngokungekho mthethweni. IZibhalo ziyalwalela uhenyuzo, yaye abo baqhubeka nalo ngabom baphulukana nenkoliseko kaThixo. Ngobulumko umpostile uPawulos walumkisa amaKristu esithi ukuze axhathise isilingo, ayemele ‘abhubhise amalungu awo omzimba ngokuphathelele uhenyuzo’ yaye azinxweme ‘kwinkanuko yomnqweno wesini,’ nto leyo ekhokelela kuhenyuzo. (Kolose 3:5; 1 Tesalonika 4:3-5) Kwabase-Efese 5:3, usicebisa ukuba uhenyuzo ‘lungakhe lukhankanywe kwaukukhankanywa,’ kangangendlela yokuba lude luvuselele umnqweno ophosakeleyo. Ukudlala ngothando akuvisisani nesi siluleko. KwanoThixo uyayalela incoko eyingozi ngesini.

Imigaqo yeBhayibhile ityhila ukuba ukudlala ngothando kunokuba yinkohlakalo kwabanye abantu yaye kukungabi nantlonelo ngoYehova, uMsunguli womtshato. Imbono yeBhayibhile ngokudlala ngothando ngokuqinisekileyo ibonakalisa uthando nolwazelelelo, njengoko ikhusela abantu ekwenzakaleni. Ngoko ke, abathandi bakaThixo baya kukuphepha ukudlala ngothando okungafanelekanga baze babaphathe ngobunyulu nentlonelo abesini esahlukileyo.—1 Timoti 2:9, 10; 5:1, 2.

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