Iintsapho Ezingenatata—Ukunqanda Lo Mjikelo

UKUBA izinto ziqhubeka ngale ndlela, kungekudala iintsapho ezingenatata ziya kuba sisonka semihla ngemihla. Ingxelo eyaqulunqwa yiU.S. Department of Health and Human Services ithi: “Abantwana abakhuliswe ngumzali ongenaqabane badla ngokufumana amanqaku aphantsi ezifundweni zabo, babe nengxaki kwisimilo, basengozini yokugula intw’ engapheliyo babe neengxaki engqondweni. . . . Ukukhulela kwintsapho yomama ongatshatanga kudla ngokuhamba neengozi zokuba nabantwana kwabakwishumi elivisayo, ukuyeka phakathi kwisikolo samabanga aphezulu, [kwakunye] nokubanjwa.”

Akumangalisi ukuba, izazinzulu ngentlalo yabantu, abacebisi ngezentsapho, abafundisi-ntsapho kwanabezobupolitika bazifun’ emanzini iindlela zokuphelisa lo mkhwa mbi. Kuye kwaqulunqwa iindibano ezinkulu kulungiselelwa amadoda, kuvuselelwa ibhongo lokuba ngootata nokuze kuqinisekiswe ukuba amadoda anembopheleleko entsatsheni. Iincwadi ezithetha ngokuba ngutata zizalise iindawo zentengiso. Kuye kwenziwa nemigudu yokunyanzela ootata ukuba banyamekele iimbopheleleko zabo. EUnited States, “ootata abangabaxhasiyo abantwana” baye bohlwaywa ziijaji, bahlaselwa kwiinkqubo zengxubusho zikamabonwakude, kwaza kwahlaziswa ngabo esidlangalaleni. Noko ke, loo migudu itsho phantsi kwaqhum’ uthuli.

Ukwenza Izinto Buphuthuphuthu

Ukwenza izinto buphuthuphuthu nayo isenokuza nemiphumo engazi kunceda nto. Ngokomzekelo, ibhinqa eliqhawule umtshato linokuphinda litshate ngokukhawuleza, lineqikili lokuba liza kuphathela abantwana balo utata omtsha. Kodwa ngoxa ukutshata kwakhona kunokuba neengenelo zako, zinokubakho neengxaki. Maxa wambi kudla ngokuba nzima ukuba abantwana bamkele omnye umntu njengotata wabo. Maxa wambi basenokungaze bamamkele. Olunye uhlolisiso lwatyhila ukuba “malunga namabhinqa amabini kwamathathu awayehlala nomzali womtshato wesibini ashiya ikhaya ngaphambi kokuba abe neminyaka eli-19 ubudala . . . xa ethelekiswa namabhinqa angama-50% asuka kumakhaya afudumeleyo.” Kwanakumakhaya omtshato wesibini aphumelelayo, maxa wambi kuthabatha iminyaka eliqela ngaphambi kokuba utata womtshato wesibini amkelwe ngabantwana.a

Ngokufanayo, ukumitha kwabakwishumi elivisayo akunakuthintelwa ngokwenziwa kwezinto buphuthuphuthu. Ngokomzekelo ukuqhomfa kuyangqubana nomthetho kaThixo yaye kubangela ukuba intombazana ikhohlakalele le mveku isakhulayo ngaphakathi kwayo. (Eksodus 20:13; 21:22, 23; INdumiso 139:14-16; thelekisa eyoku-1 kaYohane 3:17.) Ingenzeka njani into yokuba loo nto ingashiyi monakalo ngokweemvakalelo? Abaninzi bajonga ukunikela ngomntwana ukuba akhuliswe ngabanye abantu njengesicombululo esibhadlileyo, kodwa loo nto inokuzonakalisa iimvakalelo—ezikanina nezomntwana.

Kaloku ukwenziwa kwezinto buphuthuphuthu akusayi kuwunqanda lo mjikelelo weentsapho ezingenatata. Le ndlela iintsapho ziphila ngayo inokupheliswa kuphela ukuba abantu bakulungele ukwenza utshintsho oluphawulekayo kwindlela abacinga ngayo, izimo zabo zengqondo, izimilo zabo, nendlela yabo yokuziphatha. Kukho into engaphezu kobucilo-cilo nezifundo zengqondo ezinobugocigoci efanele yenziwe ukuze kukhuthazwe abantu benze olo tshintsho. “Loo nto ingaphezulu” ifumaneka kwiLizwi likaThixo, iBhayibhile. Ngapha koko, nguThixo ngokwakhe owamisela ilungiselelo lentsapho. (Efese 3:14, 15) Uyazi ngaphezu kwakhe nabani na into efunwa ngabantwana.

Imigaqo YeBhayibhile Inceda Iintsapho Ziphumelele

Kodwa ngaba ngokwenene iBhayibhile ingabanceda abantwana kukho umzali ongekhoyo? Ngaba abonakalanga ngendlela engenakulungiseka? Hayi, abanjalo. Ekuqaleni kweli nqaku, sicaphule ingxelo yorhulumente waseUnited States edwelise uninzi lweengxaki abajamelana nazo aba bantwana. Phezu kwayo nje loo ntlungu, le ngxelo iqukumbela ngelithi: “Phezu kwabo nje ubungqina beengozi, kwakhona olu hlolisiso lubonisa ukuba abantwana abaninzi kwiintsapho ezinomzali omnye bakhula ngokuqhelekileyo.” Ewe, imiphumo yokungabi natata inokupheliswa okanye incitshiswe. Oku kunokwenzeka ngokukodwa ukuba kusetyenziswa imigaqo yeBhayibhile ekukhuliseni abantwana.

Loo nto ke ifuna umzali ongenaqabane asebenze nzima—nto leyo enokubonakala inzima ekuqaleni. Kodwa ukuba ukule meko, unokufunda ukuthembela ngokupheleleyo kuYehova uThixo. (IMizekeliso 3:1, 2) Amanye amabhinqa angamaKristu ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile aye ajamelana neemeko ezibuhlungu, ezinjengokuba ngabahlolokazi. Ngokuphathelele abantu abanjalo, iBhayibhile ithi: “Umfazi ongumhlolokazi ngenene noshiywe eludwayi ubeke ithemba lakhe kuThixo yaye uyazingisa kwizikhungo nemithandazo ubusuku nemini.” (1 Timoti 5:5) Khumbula ukuba uYehova uzibiza ngokuba ‘unguyise weenkedama.’ (INdumiso 68:5) Unokuqiniseka ukuba uya kulixhasa ibhinqa eloyika uThixo kwimigudu yalo yokukhulisa abantwana balo.

Ukusiqhuba ngokuthe rhoqo isifundo seBhayibhile sekhaya nabantwana yindlela ebalulekileyo yokubanceda bakhule bengabantu abalungeleleneyo nabaqolileyo. (Duteronomi 6:6-9) Phakathi kwamaNgqina kaYehova abazali abaninzi abangenamaqabane basebenzisa iimpapasho ezisekelwe eBhayibhileni ezenzelwe ngokukhethekileyo abaselula, njengethi Imibuzo Yabantu Abaselula—Iimpendulo Eziluncedo.b Inkcazelo elapho inceda abaselula babe nemilinganiselo yokuziphatha eya kubenza baphephe ukwenza iimpazamo ezenziwa ngabazali babo. Njengoko abantwana besiya bemazi uYehova uThixo, banokuqala baqonde ukuba banoBawo wasezulwini obakhathalele ngokwenene. (INdumiso 27:10) Oku kunokubanceda bajamelane neemvakalelo zokuziva belahliwe. Enye intombazana yaseBritani eyabukela abazali bayo besahlukana ikhumbula oku: “Kuyo yonke loo nto, uMama wabethelela imfuneko yokuba ndithandaze ndize ndithembele ngokupheleleyo kuYehova. Loo nto yasenza sakwazi ukunyamezela.”

Ukulondoloza Ulwalamano Phakathi Komzali Nomntwana

IBhayibhile ikwenza kucace ukuba umntwana umele abeke umama notata wakhe. (Eksodus 20:12) Yaye uqhawulo-mtshato aluluphelisi ulwalamano phakathi kotata nomntwana. Nangona umyeni wangaphambili esenokungaphindi ahlale ekhaya, abantwana basenokungenelwa ngokuba nolwalamano olufudumeleyo kunye naye.c Ingxaki yeyokuba umama usenokuba nomsindo aze angakuthandi ukuba nento yokwenza kwakhe nabantwana. Umama unokujamelana njani nezi mvakalelo?

IBhayibhile inikela icebiso elihle xa ilumkisa ngelithi: ‘Ubushushu mabungakuxhokonxeli ekutyhwakrazeni izandla. Lumka, ungaguqukeli kwizenzo zobutshinga.’ (Yobhi 36:18-21) Kuyavunywa ukuba akulula ukuthetha ngobubele ngomntu oye wakukhathaza okanye wakushiya. Kodwa zibuze: ‘Ngaba intombazana ingafunda ukuthemba indoda ukuba isoloko ixelelwa ngendlela akhohlakele ngayo uyise? Ngaba inkwenkwe, inokukhula ibe yindoda ezinzileyo ukuba xa isohlwaywa isoloko ixelelwa ukuba, “Uyafana nje notat’ akho wena”? Ngaba abantwana banokulihlonela igunya ukuba bafundiswa ukudelela utata wabo okanye abakhuthazwa ukuba babonane naye?’ Licacile elokuba ukuphazamisana nolwalamano lwabantwana bakho notata wabo kuyingozi.

Kuya kukumangalisa ukwazi ukuba iBhayibhile ayikugwebi ukucaphuka ngenxa yobulungisa. IBhayibhile ithi: “Qumbani, ukanti ningoni.” (Efese 4:26) Ukucaphuka akusosono, kodwa ukulawulwa ‘yingqumbo, umsindo, ububi, nentetho etshabhisayo’ kusisono. (Kolose 3:8) Ngoko musa ‘ukuthuka utata wabantwana’ phambi kwabo. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba umele uyithethe intlungu yakho, landela icebiso leBhayibhile lokwabelana nomntu othile ‘ngesithukuthezi,’ kodwa kwenze oko komnye umntu kungekhona ebantwaneni bakho—mhlawumbi umhlobo omthembileyo. (IMizekeliso 12:25) Zama ukuba nesimo sengqondo esakhayo ungagcini amahasa. (INtshumayeli 7:10) Ukwenjenjalo kuya kukunceda uthothise umsindo wakho.

Okokugqibela, khumbula ukuba iBhayibhile iyalela umntwana ukuba ahlonele utata wakhe—kwanokuba utata wakhe ebengenahambo ingumzekelo. (Efese 6:2, 3) Ngoko zama ukunceda abantwana bakho bangaphazanyiswa ziimpazamo zikatata wabo. Elinye ibhinqa eliselula elakhulela kwintsapho eyahluleleneyo lithi: “Ngokumaphulela utata—njengomntu oneziphoso, nongafezekanga—ekugqibeleni ndiye ndamamkela.” Ngokukhuthaza abantwana ukuba bamhlonele utata wabo, uyabanceda ukuba balihlonele igunya lakho njengomzali!

Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba ungaphazamisani nolwalamano lwakho nolwabantwana bakho. Basephantsi ‘komyalo kanyoko.’ (IMizekeliso 1:8) Oonyana basenokuva ubunzima ukuba kulindeleke ukuba babe ‘ngamadoda omzi.’ Namantombazana asenokudideka xa umama wawo emana ukuzityand’ igila kubo. Kufuneka ubaqinisekise abantwana ukuba wena njengomzali uya kubanyamekela—hayi bona banyamekele wena. (Thelekisa eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 12:14.) Xa beqinisekiswa ngolo hlobo banokuziva bekhuselekile, kwanokuba imeko yentsapho yabo ayikabi ntle.

Oosinga-tata

Kuthekani ukuba utata akaseyonxalenye yentsapho kwaphela? Iingcali zithi abantwana banokungenelwa ngokuba nolwalamano lwendoda. Ngoxa ukubonisa ububele kukamalume okanye ummelwane kusenokumnceda ngandlel’ ithile umntwana, uya kungenelwa ngakumbi kulwalamano oluhle lwamadoda akwibandla lamaKristu. UYesu wathembisa ukuba ibandla liya kufana nentsapho enenkxaso.—Marko 10:29, 30.

Ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, uTimoti oselula wakhula waba ngumntu kaThixo ozimiseleyo, engayifumani inkxaso yoyise olikholwa. IBhayibhile incoma unina noninakhulu abanothando ngoku. (IZenzo 16:1; 2 Timoti 1:1-5) Noko ke, wakwafumana iingenelo ngokunxulumana nendoda engumKristu—umpostile uPawulos. UPawulos wabiza uTimoti ngokuba “ngumntwana wam oyintanda nothembekileyo eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 4:17) Ngokufanayo namhlanje, amaNgqina kaYehova akhuthazwa ukuba athobele isiluleko seBhayibhile ‘sokuvelela iinkedama nabahlolokazi.’ (Yakobi 1:27) Abongozwa ukuba ‘asize iinkedama’ ngokuba nomdla onyanisekileyo ngabo banjalo. (Yobhi 29:12) Ibhinqa eliselula ekuthiwa nguAnnette lithi xa likhumbula umdla onyanisekileyo owaboniswa ngumdala ongumKristu kulo liselula kakhulu: “Wayengoyena tata wokwenene endakha ndanaye.”

Ukunqanda Lo Mjikelo

Le migaqo inokunceda abantwana abangenatata baphumelele. Phezu kwako nje ukukhula kwabo kabuhlungu, banokulungelelana, babe ngabantu abakhulu abanenkqubela baze babe ngabazali abanothando, abathembekileyo nabazimiseleyo. Sekunjalo, ukuyiphepha kwangaphambili into kubhetele kunokufuneka uyilungise. Yaye ekugqibeleni, lo mjikelo weentsapho ezingenatata unokupheliswa xa amadoda namabhinqa ezimisele ukusebenzisa iBhayibhile ebomini bawo—ngokomzekelo, ngokuthobela ukwalela kweBhayibhile ukuba neentlobano zesini ngaphambi komtshato nangokulandela imilinganiselo yeBhayibhile ebekelwe amadoda nabafazi.—1 Korinte 6:9; Efese 5:21-33.

Kule mihla, abantwana abaninzi bahlala nootata kodwa sekunjalo kunokuthiwa abanabo. Yathi enye ingcali ngemiba yentsapho: “Eyona ngxaki inkulu ijamelene . . . nabantwana namhlanje kukungafumani xesha nengqalelo kubazali babo.” ILizwi likaThixo lithetha ngokuthe ngqo ngalo mba. Likhupha lo myalelo kootata ngokuphathelele abantwana babo: “Nibayale, nibaqeqeshe, ngendlela afanele akhuliswe ngayo umKristu.” (Efese 6:4, New English Bible; IMizekeliso 24:27) Xa ootata belandela eli cebiso leBhayibhile, abantwana abasayi koyika ukuba baya kushiywa.

Noko ke, ngaba kusengqiqweni ukukholelwa ukuba baninzi abantu abaya kufunda iBhayibhile? Akunjalo. (Mateyu 7:14) Kodwa amaNgqina kaYehova aye anceda izigidi zabantu ukuba zifumane ulonwabo kubomi bazo bentsapho ngokusebenzisa ucwangciso lwesifundo seBhayibhile sekhaya.d Kambe ke, iBhayibhile ilumkisa ngelokuba zonke izibini ezitshatileyo ziya kuba “nembandezelo enyameni“ ngenxa yokungafezeki. (1 Korinte 7:28) Kodwa abo balihlonela ngokwenene iLizwi likaThixo bazama ukuzilungisa iingxaki zabo, abaqhawuli mtshato zisaqala nje iingxaki. Kuyavunywa ukuba, kukho amaxesha apho umKristu ebeya kuba wenza ngokufanelekileyo ukucinga ngokwahlukana okanye aqhawule umtshato. (Mateyu 5:32) Noko ke, ukwazi indlela oku okunokubachaphazela ngayo abantwana bakhe kuya kushukumisela umKristu ukuba akhangele indlela anokuwulondoloza ngayo umtshato wakhe ukuba kunokwenzeka.

Ukuthobela iBhayibhile kuya kukunceda ngokungakumbi kunokusindisa nje intsapho yakho ngoku. Kuya kuninceda nikwazi ukuphila ngonaphakade! UYesu wathi: “Oku kuthetha ubomi obungunaphakade, ukungenisa kwabo ulwazi ngawe, wena ukuphela koThixo oyinyaniso, nangalowo umthumeleyo, uYesu Kristu.” (Yohane 17:3) Ukufunda nokusebenzisa isiluleko esifumaneka eLizwini likaThixo kuyenye yezona ndlela zokuqinisekisa ukuba intsapho yakho ihlala imanyene ngonaphakade.

[Imibhalo esemazantsi]

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 8, 9]

Ngokulandela imigaqo yeBhayibhile, umzali ongenaqabane unokuphumelela ekukhuliseni abantwana

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 10]

Amadoda angamaKristu ngokufuthi ‘asiza inkedama’ ngokuba nomdla ngokunyanisekileyo nangokupheleleyo kuyo