Indlela Yokuba Ngutata Olungileyo

“Ndizibhude phi izingqi?” Lo ngumbuzo owawukhathaza uMzimasia waseMzantsi Afrika. Nakuba wayezame ngamandla akhe onke ukuba ngutata olungileyo, wayesithi akucinga ngonyana wakhe oneminyaka eli-19 owayeyinjubaqa, azibuze enoba kukho okungakumbi engewayekwenzile kusini na.

Ngokwahlukileyo koko, kubonakala ngathi uTerry ohlala eSpeyin uye waphumelela. UAndrew unyana wakhe uthi: “Xa ndandisengumntwana, utata wayedla ngokundifundela iincwadi, adlale nam yaye wayendikhupha ukuze sibethwe ngumoya size sichithe ixesha kunye. Kwakusiba mnandi xa ndifunda kunye naye.”

Ewe kona, akukho lula ukuba ngutata olungileyo. Kodwa ke iBhayibhile inamacebiso anokuba luncedo. Kuye kwabanceda ootata abaninzi kunye neentsapho zabo ukusebenzisa amacebiso eBhayibhile. Makhe sithethe ngamacebiso eBhayibhile anokunceda ootata.

Njengotata ubabonisa njani abantwana bakho ukuba babalulekile kuwe? Ngokuqinisekileyo zikhona izinto obenzela zona, eziquka izinto ozincamayo ukuze ubondle uze ubanike nekhaya elifudumeleyo. Ubungenakuzenza ezi zinto ukuba bebengabalulekanga kuwe. Nakuba kunjalo, ukuba akuchithi ixesha elaneleyo nabantwana bakho, basenokucinga ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo kuwe ngumsebenzi, abahlobo bakho okanye ukuzonwabisa.

Utata ufanele aqalise nini ukuchitha ixesha kunye nabantwana bakhe? Umama uqalisa ukwakha ubuhlobo kunye nosana lwakhe kwalusesesibelekweni. Umntwana usenokuqalisa ukuva emva nje kweeveki ezili-16 ekhawulwe. Ngeli xesha, notata unokuqalisa ukwakha ubuhlobo nosana olungekazalwa. Usenokuphulaphula ukubetha kwentliziyo yalo, aluve xa lukhaba, athethe nalo aze aluculele.

Umgaqo WeBhayibhile: Ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile, amadoda ayebafundisa abantwana bawo. OoTata babekhuthazwa ukuba bachithe ixesha kunye nabantwana babo, njengoko sifunda kula mazwi eBhayibhile abhalwe kwincwadi yeDuteronomi 6:6, 7: “La mazwi ndikuyalela wona namhlanje amele abe sentliziyweni yakho; uze uwabethelele kunyana wakho yaye uthethe ngawo ekuhlaleni kwakho endlwini yakho, nasekuhambeni kwakho ngendlela, nasekulaleni kwakho, nasekuvukeni kwakho.”

Ukuze ukwazi ukuncokola kakuhle nabantwana bakho kufuneka ukwazi ukuphulaphula. Kufuneka uzifundise ukuphulaphula kakuhle uze ungakhawulezi ucaphuke.

Ukuba abantwana bakho basoloko belindele ukuba uza kukhawuleza ucaphuke uze ubagwebe, kuza kuba nzima ukuba bakuchazele eyona ndlela bavakalelwa ngayo. Kodwa xa uphulaphula uzolile, ubonisa ukuba unomdla onyanisekileyo kubo. Nabo baya kuziva bekhululekile ukukuxelela oko bakucingayo.

Umgaqo WeBhayibhile: Ubulumko obufumaneka eBhayibhileni buye babanceda gqitha abantu abaninzi. Ngokomzekelo, iBhayibhile ithi: “Wonke umntu umele akhawuleze ukuva, acothe ukuthetha, acothe ukuqumba.” (Yakobi 1:19) Ootata abasebenzisa esi siluleko seBhayibhile bayakwazi ukuncokola nokuphulaphula abantwana babo.

Kwanaxa unomsindo, indlela omqeqesha ngayo umntwana wakho ifanele ibonise ukuba uyamthanda yaye ulixhalabele ikamva lakhe. Unokumcebisa, umlungise, umfundise kwaye umohlwaye xa kuyimfuneko.

Ukongezelela koko, ingqeqesho isebenza ngakumbi xa utata eqhele ukubancoma abantwana bakhe. Umzekeliso wamandulo uthi: “Linjengama-apile egolide kwinto yesilivere ekroliweyo ilizwi elithethwe ngexesha elifanelekileyo.” (IMizekeliso 25:11) Ukunconywa kuyamakha umntwana. Abantwana bayavuya xa abazali babo bezibona izinto ezintle abazenzayo yaye bebaxabisa. Utata osoloko ebancoma abantwana bakhe xa benze into entle ubanceda bazithembe baze bangayeki ukuzama ukwenza okuhle.

Umgaqo WeBhayibhile: “Nina boyise, musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, ukuze bangadakumbi.”—Kolose 3:21.

Indlela utata amphatha ngayo umfazi wakhe inegalelo kwimpilo-ntle yabantwana. Elinye iqela leengcaphephe zobomi babantwana lithi: “Enye yezona zinto zintle utata anokuzenzela abantwana bakhe kukuhlonela umama wabo. . . Xa abazali behlonelana, abantwana baziva bakhuselekile.”—The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children.b

Umgaqo WeBhayibhile: “Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu,. . Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda.”—Efese 5:25, 33.

Ootata abamthanda ngokunyanisekileyo uThixo banokunika abantwana babo ilifa elixabisekileyo—ubuhlobo obusenyongweni noBawo wabo wasezulwini.

Emva kwamashumi eminyaka ekhulisa abantwana abathandathu, uAntonio oliNgqina likaYehova wafumana le leta eyayivela kwenye yeentombi zakhe: “Tata othandekayo, ndithi mandikubulele ngokundikhulisa nangokundifundisa kwakho ukuthanda uYehova uThixo, abamelwane bam kunye nesiqu sam. Wandibonisa ngokucacileyo ukuba uyamthanda uYehova kwaye nam uyandithanda. Enkosi Tata ngokuthanda uYehova ngaphezu kwayo nantoni na enye, nangokuphatha abantwana bakho njengezipho ezivela kuThixo!”

Umgaqo WeBhayibhile: “Uze umthande uYehova uThixo wakho ngentliziyo yakho yonke nangomphefumlo wakho wonke nangamandla akho onke. La mazwi ndikuyalela wona namhlanje amele abe sentliziyweni yakho.”—Duteronomi 6:5, 6.

Licacile elokuba, ukuba ngutata kubandakanya okungakumbi kunezi ngongoma zintlanu, kodwa ke xa sithetha inyani, enoba ungazama kangakanani na ukuba ngutata olungileyo, ufanele wazi ukuba ayikho inzwana engenasiphako. Sekunjalo, ukuba usebenzisa le migaqo ngothando unako ukuba ngutata olungileyo.c