Ukubonakalisa Uthando Nentlonelo Njengomfazi
“Umfazi ke [makayihlonele ngokunzulu, “NW”] indoda.”—EFESE 5:33.
1. Yiyiphi imibuzo ephakamayo mayela nemeko yanamhla yomtshato?
KWELI xesha langoku likazimele geqe ‘nelenkululeko,’ indlela obujongwa ngayo umtshato iye yawohloka ngokulusizi. Kuye kwakho iintsapho ezizizigidi ezingenabawo okanye umama. Ukuhlalisana ngaphandle kwengenelo yomtshato ongokwasemthethweni kuye kwalisiko kubantu abaninzi. Kodwa ngaba oku kuye kwakhokelela kunqabiseko olubalaseleyo kulowo ungumfazi nongumama? Ngaba kuye kwabangela ukuzinza ebantwaneni? Ibe ngaba oku kuwohloka kwemigaqo emihle yokuziphatha kuye kwakhokelela kwintlonelo ebalaseleyo kwilungiselelo lentsapho? Ngokwahlukileyo koko, lincomela ntoni iLizwi likaThixo?
2. Kutheni le nto kwakungalungile ngoAdam ukuba ahlale yedwa?
2 Xa uThixo wavakalisa injongo yakhe yokudala umfazi wokuqala, wathi: “Akulungile ukuba umntu abe yedwa.” Ibe emva kokuqwalasela iintsapho zezilwanyana—iinkunzi neemazi zikunye namathole azo—indlela uAdam awavakalelwa ngayo imele ukuba yavisisana naloo mazwi. Nangona wayefezekile ibe ekwiparadisi eyayinezinto zonke, uAdam wayengenaqabane lohlobo lwakhe. Wayenikwe isipho sokuba krelekrele nokukwazi ukuthetha, kodwa sasingekho esinye isidalwa sohlobo lwakhe awayenokwabelana naso ngezo zipho. Ukanti, kungekudala imeko yayiza kuguquka, kuba uThixo wathi: “Ndiya kumenzela umncedi onguwabo.”—Genesis 2:18-20.
3. (a) Kwenzeka njani ukuba uEva abe ‘ngowohlobo’ luka-Adam? (b) Kuthetha ntoni ngendoda ukuba ‘inamathele’ kumfazi wayo?
3 UYehova wayidala inkazana uEva ngokusebenzisa olunye lweembambo zika-Adam njengesiseko. Ngoko ke, uEva ‘wayengowohlobo’ olunye noAdam. Wayengesosilwanyana esikumgangatho ophantsi kodwa ‘wayelithambo lamathambo [akhe] nenyama yenyama [yakhe].’ Ngokuvisisana noko, ingxelo ephefumlelweyo ithi: “Ngenxa yoko indoda yomshiya uyise nonina, inamathele kumkayo, babe nyama-nye ke.” (Genesis 2:23, 24) Igama lesiHebhere eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ukunamathela’ ngokoqobo lithetha “ukuthi nca, ukudibana, ukunamathela kakhulu, ngokungathi kungesincamathelisi” (IHebrew and Chaldee Lexicon to the Old Testament Scriptures kaGesenius) Oku ngokwenene kudlulisela ingcamango yokuba indoda nomfazi babe ngamaqabane angenakwahlulwa. Omnye umphengululi uthi “oko kunentsingiselo engaphezu kokuhlangana kwendoda nomfazi ngokwesini yaye kugubungela lonke ulwalamano.” Ngaloo ndlela, umtshato awulothando oludlulayo. Ululwalamano oluhlala luhleli. Ibe apho kukho intlonelo nesidima phakathi kwabantu ababini, olo manyano, nangona mhlawumbi lutsala nzima maxa wambi, lufanele lungaqhawuki.—Mateyu 19:3-9.
4. Kungayiphi ingqiqo awayeza kuthi umfazi abe ngumncedi nomphelelisi wendoda?
4 UThixo wathi umfazi wayeza kuba ngumncedi nomphelelisi wendoda. Ekubeni benziwa ngokomfanekiselo kaThixo, wayeza kulindela ukuba babonakalise iimpawu zakhe—okusesikweni, uthando, ubulumko namandla—kulwalamano lwabo omnye nomnye. Ngoko ke, uEva wayeza kuba ‘ngumphelelisi,’ kungekhona umntu okhuphisanayo. Intsapho yayingasayi kuba njengenqanawa enabaphathi ababini abakhuphisanayo, kodwa uAdam wayeza kuba yintloko.—1 Korinte 11:3; Efese 5:22-24; 1 Timoti 2:12, 13.
5. Amadoda amaninzi aye abaphatha njani abafazi, ibe ngaba oku kuyamkholisa uThixo?
5 Noko ke, imvukelo nokona ubuntloko bukaThixo bothando kwesibini sokuqala esingabantu, kwabangela ukuba izinto zahluke kwindlela eyayicetywe ngayo intsapho yaso nakuzo zonke iintsapho zexesha elizayo. Enolwazi loko kwakuza kuba yimiphumo yesono sabo noko kwakuza kuyibangela kuluntu, uYehova wathi kuEva: “Inkanuko yakho ibe sendodeni yakho, ikulawule yona.” (Genesis 3:16) Ngelishwa, kwiinkulungwane ezidlulileyo amadoda amaninzi aye alawula abafazi ngobuzwilakhe. Abafazi bebecinezelwa ibe basacinezelwa yaye bajongelwa phantsi ngeendlela ezininzi kulo lonke ihlabathi. Ukanti, njengoko sibonile kwinqaku elandulelayo, ukusetyenziswa kwemigaqo yeBhayibhile akunikeli siseko sokulawula kwendoda ngobuzwilakhe. Kwelinye icala, kugxininisa ukubaluleka kwentlonelo enzulu.
Intlonelo Enzulu—Ucelomngeni
6, 7. (a) Amadoda angakholwayo asenokuzuzelwa njani enyanisweni? (b) Kusenokwenzeka njani ngomfazi ukuba abe uyasilela ukubonisa “intlonelo enzulu” ngendoda yakhe engakholwayo?
6 Umpostile uPetros wawuchaza ngokweenkcukacha umzekelo kaKristu kwihambo waza wacacisa ukuba uYesu wasishiyela ‘umzekelo wokuba silandele kumanyathelo akhe ngokusondeleyo.’ Wandula ke uPetros wathi: “Ngokunjalo, nina bafazi, wathobeleni awenu amadoda, ukuze kuthi, nokuba kukho kuwo angalivayo ilizwi, athi ngehambo yabafazi, lingekho ilizwi, azuzeke; ebonela ihambo yenu enyulu, enoloyiko [enentlonelo enzulu, NW].” (1 Petros 2:21–3:2) Abafazi abangamaKristu banokuyibonakalisa njani “intlonelo enzulu”?
7 Uninzi loodade bethu abangamaKristu lunamadoda angakholwayo ibe maxa wambi achasayo. Ngaba ezi meko zithetha ukuba isiluleko sikaPetros asifanelekanga ibe asisebenzi? Hayi, ukuzithoba nentlonelo zifuneka kwanokuba ‘kukubani na ongalivayo ilizwi.’ Ngoko ke, ngaba bekuya kuba luphawu lwentlonelo enzulu ukuba umfazi ongumKristu onendoda echasayo ebeya kuza eHolweni yoBukumkani aze ahlebe ngayo, echubela oodade abaninzi abasebandleni zonke iindlela emphatha ngazo kakubi? Ukuba wenza oko ngomzalwana okanye ngodade othile osebandleni, bekuya kuchazwa njani oko? Kukuhleba, okanye mhlawumbi de kube kukungcolisa igama lomntu. Ngoko ke, akubobungqina bentlonelo enzulu ngomfazi ukuba anyelise indoda yakhe engakholwayo. (1 Timoti 3:11; 5:13) Ukanti, sifanele siqondwe isibakala sokuba bambi oodade abajamelene nenkcaso banengxaki enzulu. Siyintoni ke isicombululo sobuKristu? Banokuya kubadala baze bafune uncedo necebiso labo.—Hebhere 13:17.
8. Isenokucinga njani indoda engakholwayo?
8 Abadala banokuqhubana njani ngobuchule nendoda echasayo? Okokuqala, banokuzama ukuqonda imeko leyo ngokwembono yayo. Ukuhlasela kwayo ngamazwi okanye ngokoqobo kusenokuba kuxhokonxwe zizinto ezintathu ezibangelwa kukungazi okukhokelela kuloyiko nakwintlaselo eyenzayo. Ibe kutheni le nto kukho imeko enjalo? Maxa wambi indoda ayazi nto kangako okanye ayazi nto kwaphela ngamaNgqina kaYehova ngaphandle nje koko ikuva kubantu esebenza nabo abanomoya wokuchasa. Iyazi ukuba ngaphambi kokuba umfazi wayo aqalise ukufundisisa iBhayibhile wayesenokuba wayezinikele ngokupheleleyo kuyo nakubantwana babo. Nangona ngoku esenokuba ngumfazi nomama olunge ngakumbi, isimo sayo sengqondo sesi: ‘Undishiya ndedwa izihlandlo ezithathu ngeveki esiya kwezo ntlanganiso. Andiyazi into eqhubekayo kwezo ntlanganiso, kodwa kukho amadoda aziinzwana kuloo holo, ibe . . .’ Ewe, ukungabi nalwazi kwayo kusenokukhokelela kubukhwele nakuloyiko. Emva koko iba nesimo sengqondo sokuzikhusela. Xa kuqondwa ukuba sisimo sengqondo esinjalo esi sibangela oko, basenokunceda njani abadala?—IMizekeliso 14:30; 27:4.
9. Yiyiphi indlela yobuchule esenokusetyenziswa ekungeneni amadoda athile angakholwayo, yaye oku kunokuba nawuphi umphumo?
9 Mhlawumbi omnye umdala usenokuqhelana nale ndoda ngokobuqu. (1 Korinte 9:19-23) Le ndoda isenokuba lichule lombane, umchweli, okanye umntu opeyintayo. Isenokuvuma ukusebenzisa ubuchule bayo ekuncedeni kwingxaki ekwiHolo yoBukumkani. Ngaloo ndlela inokubona oko kungaphakathi kwiHolo yoBukumkani kungekho nayiphi na imvakalelo yokunyanzeleka ukuba iye kwiintlanganiso. Njengoko iqhelana nabazalwana, isimo sayo ngakumfazi wayo nakwinyaniso sisenokuqhuqheka. Ekubeni ibona uthando nomoya wentsebenziswano ebandleni, mhlawumbi isenokude iqalise ukuzisa umfazi wayo kwiintlanganiso. Kuya kwandula ke njengoko enye into ikhokelela kwenye, ingene phakathi eholweni ebudeni bokuqhutywa kweentlanganiso ukuze iphulaphule okwexeshana. Kungekudala, inokucela ukuqhutyelwa isifundo seBhayibhile. Ewe kunokwenzeka konke oku ibe maxa wambi kwenzekile. Namhlanje kukho amadoda akholwayo angamawaka, ngenxa yokubonakaliswa kothando nobuchule obunjalo ‘nentlonelo enzulu’ yomfazi.—Efese 5:33.
Uyayondela Indlu Yakhe
10, 11. Ziziphi iimpawu ezahlukahlukeneyo zomfazi onesidima ezichazwa nguKumkani uLemuweli? (Zixubushe ngokwahlukeneyo.)
10 UKumkani uLemuweli wafumana isiluleko esihle kunina ngeempawu zomfazi ofanelekileyo. (IMizekeliso 31:1) Inkcaza yakhe ngomfazi nangomama onenyameko ekwiMizekeliso 31:10-31 akulolizé ukuyifunda ngenyameko. Ngokucacileyo wayenamava okusebenzisa imigaqo kaThixo yobulungisa nawokubonisa intlonelo enzulu.
11 ULemuweli ubhala ukuba “umfazi onesidima” uthembekile, unokuthenjwa, ibe unyanisekile. (Miz 31 Indinyana 10-12) Usebenza nzima ukuze ayondle aze ayinyamekele indoda yakhe nabantwana. (Miz 31 Indinyana 13-19, 21, 24) Unobubele yaye unikela uncedo kwabo baswele ngokwenene. (Miz 31 Indinyana 20) Ngentlonelo anayo nehambo entle, wongezelela kudumo oluhle lwendoda yakhe. (Miz 31 Indinyana 23) Akangomhlebi ungenanto yakwenza okanye umgxeki othile otshabalalisayo. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ngolwimi lwakhe uyakha aze aphilise. (Miz 31 Indinyana 26) Ngenxa yokuba engelovila, indlu yakhe icocekile yaye ilungelelene. (Miz 31 Indinyana 27) (Enyanisweni, ikhaya lomKristu lifanele libe lelona licocekileyo ebumelwaneni.) Indoda yakhe nabantwana babonakalisa umbulelo baze bamdumise. Kwakhona abo bangengawo amalungu entsapho bayazixabisa iimpawu azibonakalisayo. (Miz 31 Indinyana 28, 29, 31) Ubuhle bakhe asibubo obekhiwane bona buziimpethwana; bubuhle bomfazi owoyika uThixo onobuntu bokuhlonel’ uThixo.—Miz 31 Indinyana 30.
Umoya Onobulali Nozolileyo
12. Yintoni ‘exabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo,’ ibe iqhalo leSpanish liyibalaselisa njani le ngongoma?
12 Le ngongoma yokugqibela igxininiswa nguPetros xa eluleka umfazi ongumKristu ukuba anganikeli ngqalelo igqithiseleyo kwinkangeleko yakhe yangaphandle. Uyabongoza: “[Ubuhle bakho] makube kokomntu ofihlakeleyo wentliziyo, ovethe ukungonakali, umoya onobulali, ozolileyo, oxabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo.” (1 Petros 3:3, 4) Phawula ingongoma yokuba ‘umoya onobulali ozolileyo, ungowexabiso elikhulu emehlweni kaThixo.’ Ngaloo ndlela, umfazi nomama ongumKristu onomoya onjalo akakholisi nje kuphela indoda yakhe kodwa, okubaluleke ngakumbi, ukholisa uThixo, njengoko benjenjalo abafazi abathembekileyo bamaxesha amandulo. Kwakhona obu buhle bangaphakathi bubonakaliswa kwiqhalo leSpanish: “Umfazi omhle ukholisa amehlo; umfazi olungileyo ukholisa intliziyo. Ukuba lowo ukhankanywe kuqala ulilitye elinqabileyo, owesibini ke umele abe bubutyebi obuxabiseke kunene.”
13. Nguwuphi umphumo ohlaziyayo umfazi anokuba nawo ebantwaneni bakhe?
13 Umfazi ongumKristu unokuba ngobangela imeko yokuphumla kuyo yonke intsapho yakhe. (Thelekisa uMateyu 11:28-30.) Njengoko abantwana bebona indlela ayihlonela ngayo indoda yakhe, baya kubonakalisa intlonelo enjalo kwiinkqubano zabo nabazali babo nakwabo bangengawo amalungu entsapho. Ngenxa yoko, abantwana abangamaKristu baya kuba nobubele nentlonelo. Ibe hayi indlela ekuyibangela ngayo imeko yokuphumla xa abantwana beyenza ngokuzithandela imisebenzi yaphakathi kwekhaya kunokuba bathundezwe ukuba bayenze! Ukungazingci kwabo kufak’ isandla kulonwabo lwekhaya, ibe uncumo lukamama lokuncoma lungumvuzo owaneleyo.
14. Imfuneko yokuqeqesha isenokukhokelela kuluphi ucelomngeni?
14 Kodwa kuthekani ngamaxesha axa kufuneka kunikelwe uqeqesho? Njengabazali babo, abantwana bayazenza iimpazamo. Maxa wambi abathobeli. Umama ongumKristu uya kusabela njani ukuba utata akakho? Ngaba uya kuqhubeka esihlonela isidima sabantwana babo? Okanye uya kukrasa aze abangxolise ngomsindo ngelinge lokufuna ukuba bamthobele? Kaloku, ngaba umntwana ufunda okuthile kumandla elizwi? Okanye ngaba ilizwi elizolileyo neliqiqisayo liya kuba nomphumo ophawulekayo?—Efese 4:31, 32.
15. Yintoni efunyaniswe ngabaphandi mayela nokuthobela kwabantwana?
15 Ligqabaza ngokuthobela kwabantwana, iphephancwadi iPsychology Today lathi: “Ngokohlolisiso oluye lwenziwa kutshanje, okukhona ungxola uxelela abantwana ukuba benze okuthile, kokukhona ngokunokwenzeka ngakumbi beya kuphethuka baze benze kanye le nto ubaxelela ukuba bangayenzi.” Kwelinye icala, abaphandi bafumanise ukuba xa abantu abakhulileyo bethetha ngokuzolileyo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo abantwana batyekela ekuthobeleni. Kakade ke, kubaluleke ngokukhethekileyo ukuqiqa nomntwana kunokumcaphukisa ngemiyalelo emininzi engqongqo.—Efese 6:4; 1 Petros 4:8.
Ukubonakalisa Intlonelo Kulwalamano Lwasemzimbeni
16. Umfazi unokuyibonisa njani intlonelo ngeemfuno ezingokweemvakalelo zendoda yakhe, ibe oko kunokuba nayiphi ingenelo?
16 Kanye njengokuba indoda ifanele ibonise ulwazelelelo ngomfazi wayo kuba enziwe ngokuceketheke ngakumbi, ngokunjalo nomfazi ufanele aziqonde iimfuno zendoda yakhe ezingokweemvakalelo nezingokwesini. IBhayibhile ibonisa ukuba indoda nomfazi wayo bafanele bayolisane baze banelisane. Oku kufuna ukuzijonga ngeliso elibukhali iimfuno neemvakalelo zomnye. Oku kwanelisana kwaba babini kwakhona kuya kunceda ekuqinisekiseni ukuba akukho qabane lineliso elibhadulayo nto leyo enokukhokelela kumzimba obhadulayo.—IMizekeliso 5:15-20.
17. Indoda nomfazi bafanele bakujonge njani ukunikela oko kuyimfanelo emtshatweni?
17 Ngokuqinisekileyo, apho kuhlonelwanayo, akukho qabane liya kusebenzisa iimfuno zesini njengesixhobo. Ngamnye ufanele anike omnye oko kufanelekileyo emtshatweni, ibe ukuba kukho ukungahlangani okwexeshana, oko kufanele kuvunyelwane ngako. (1 Korinte 7:1-5) Ngokomzekelo, maxa wambi indoda isenokuthabatha uhambo oluya kumsebenzi wokwakha wokwexeshana kwiofisi yesebe lasekuhlaleni leWatch Tower Society okanye kwelinye iphulo lolawulo lobuthixo. Kwimeko enjalo ifanele iqiniseke ukuba umfazi wayo uvumelene ngentliziyo epheleleyo nayo. Ukwahlukana okunjalo kusekwanokuzisa iintsikelelo zokomoya entsatsheni, oko kukuthi, amava akhuthazayo abaliswa yindoda yakuba ibuyele ekhaya.
Indima Ebalulekileyo Yoodade
18. Kutheni le nto umfazi womdala ethwele imbopheleleko enkulu ngakumbi?
18 Apho indoda yomfazi ongumKristu ingumdala, loo mfazi unembopheleleko enkulu ngakumbi. Okokuqala, indoda inezinto ezininzi emele izinyamekele. Iza kuphendula kuYehova ngemekobume yokomoya yebandla. (Hebhere 13:17) Kodwa njengomfazi womdala ekunokwenzeka ukuba naye ungumfazi okhulileyo, umzekelo wakhe wentlonelo ubalulekile. (1 Timoti 5:9, 10; Tito 2:3-5.) Ibe onjani wona ukuba mhle umzekelo omiselwa ngabafazi abaninzi babadala ekuxhaseni amadoda abo! Ngokufuthi, indoda imele ingabikho ekhaya iye kwimicimbi yebandla, ibe mhlawumbi umfazi usenokuba nomdla omkhulu wokufun’ ukwazi. Noko ke, umfazi ohlonel’ uThixo, njengonyanisekileyo akayiphandi imibandela yebandla njengomntu ozixakekisa ngezinto ezingezozakhe.—1 Petros 4:15.
19. ‘Ukongamela indlu’ kusenokubandakanya ntoni ngomdala?
19 Phofu ke, kusenokufuneka umdala amluleke umfazi wakhe xa ebonisa isimo sengqondo esingakhiyo okanye engamiseli mzekelo ulungileyo kwabanye oodade. ‘Ukongamela kakuhle indlu’ akubandakanyi abantwana bodwa kodwa kwanomfazi. Ukusebenzisa lo mlinganiselo ungokweZibhalo kusenokukubeka eluvavanyweni ukuthobeka kwabafazi abathile.—1 Timoti 3:4, 5, 11; Efese 12:11.
20. Khankanya imizekelo ethile emihle yoodade abatshatileyo nabangatshatanga kumaxesha amandulo nawanamhla. (Bona othi “Life Stories of Jehovah’s Witnesses” kwiWatch Tower Publications Index 1930-1985.)
20 Kwanoodade abangatshatanga banokucamngca ngentlonelo ebonakaliswa ngabafazi ebandleni. Kukho imizekelo emihle emininzi yoodade abathobekileyo nabathembekileyo ekuthethwe ngabo eZibhalweni nabasemabandleni namhlanje! UDorkas, ngokunokwenzeka owayengudade ongatshatanga, wanconywa kakhulu ‘ngesisa’ sakhe. (IZenzo 9:36-42) Kwakhona uPrisila noFibhi babenenzondelelo ngenyaniso. (Roma 16:1-4) Ngokunjalo namhlanje, oodade bethu abaninzi, abatshatileyo okanye abangatshatanga, bangabavangeli basemazweni, oovulindlela nabavakalisi ababalaseleyo. Kwangaxeshanye, loo mabhinqa ahlonel’ uThixo ngolo hlobo agcina amakhaya awo ecocekile yaye elungelelene yaye awaze azityeshele iintsapho zawo. Ngenxa yobuninzi bawo neemeko zawo, ngokufuthi enza inxalenye enkulu yomsebenzi wokushumayela.—INdumiso 68:11.
21. Oodade abathembekileyo balukhuthazo njani kubazalwana babo abangamaKristu?
21 Oodade abathembekileyo baphumeza indima ebalulekileyo neyingenelo ebandleni. Inzondelelo nomzekelo abawumiselayo ulukhuthazo kubazalwana nasebandleni lamaKristu ngokubanzi. Ngokwenyaniso bangabaphelelisi nabancedi. (Thelekisa iGenesis 2:18.) Olunjani uthando nentlonelo yokwenene ebafaneleyo! Ibe kumaqabane atshatileyo angamaKristu, ngenene, sifanelekile esi siluleko sikaPawulos: “Kodwa ke, manithi nani ngabanye, elowo amthande umkakhe, njengoko azithanda ngako; umfazi ke makayoyike indoda.”—Efese 5:33.
Uyakhumbula Na?
◻ Yiyiphi indima uThixo awayiceba ntlandlolo ukuba iphunyezwe yindoda nomfazi ababefezekile?
◻ Amadoda angakholwayo asenokuzuzelwa njani enyanisweni?
◻ Ziziphi iimpawu ezibalaseleyo zomfazi onesidima?
◻ Umfazi ongumKristu unokuwubonakalisa njani ‘umoya onobulali nozolileyo’?
◻ Kukuphi ukulungelelana okufunekayo kulwalamano lwasemzimbeni oluphakathi kwamaqabane atshatileyo?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 16]
Intsapho ayifanele ibe njengenqanawa enabaphathi ababini abakhuphisanayo
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 18]
Indoda engakholwayo isenokuba nobukhwele, de ngandlel’ ithile yoyike ngokuya komfazi wayo kwiintlanganiso okanye kweminye imisebenzi yamaKristu. Inokuncedwa njani ke?