Yenza Umtshato Wakho Ube Lumanyano Olungapheliyo

“Oko ke ngoko uThixo akumanyileyo, makungahlulwa mntu.”—MATEYU 19:6.

 1. Isekelwe kwintoni impumelelo emtshatweni phakathi kwamaKristu okwenyaniso namhlanje?

AMAWAKA amaninzi phakathi kwabantu bakaYehova namhlanje anemitshato eyanelisayo neluqilima. Noko ke, le mpumelelo ixhaphakileyo ayenzeki ngamabona-ndenzile. Imitshato yamaKristu iphumelela xa omabini amaqabane (1) ehlonela imbono kaThixo ngomtshato yaye (2) ezabalazela ukuphila ngemigaqo yeLizwi lakhe. Ngapha koko, nguThixo owaseka ilungiselelo lomtshato. Nguye ‘ebizwe ngaye yonke imizalwane esemhlabeni.’ (Efese 3:14, 15) Ekubeni uYehova ekwazi oko kufunekayo ukuze umtshato uphumelele, siyangenelwa ngokulandela ukhokelo lwakhe.—Isaya 48:17.

 2. Yiyiphi imiphumo yokungasebenzisi imigaqo yeBhayibhile emtshatweni?

² Kwelinye icala, ukungayisebenzisi imigaqo yeBhayibhile kunokuphumela kwiingxaki emtshatweni. Zimbi iingcali zikholelwa ukuba malunga nabantu ababini kwabathathu abatshatayo namhlanje eUnited States ekugqibeleni baya kuwuqhawula umtshato. KwanamaKristu akagonywanga kwiingxaki neengcinezelo zala “maxesha anomngcipheko ekunzima ukujamelana nawo.” (2 Timoti 3:1, NW) Iingxaki zezoqoqosho neengcinezelo zasemsebenzini nazo zinokuba nemiphumo yazo ebuhlungu kuwo nawuphi na umtshato. Wambi amaKristu aye adaniswa kukungasebenzisi kwamaqabane awo imigaqo yeBhayibhile. Omnye umfazi ongumKristu uthi: “Ndiyamthanda uYehova, kodwa umtshato wam ubuzaliswe ziingxaki kangangeminyaka engama-20. Umyeni wam akabacingeli abanye yaye akafuni kwenza utshintsho. Ndiziva ndivalelekile.” Aliqela amadoda nabafazi abangamaKristu abaye bavakalisa iimvakalelo ezifanayo. Konakala phi? Yaye yintoni enokuthintela umtshato ungabi lumanyano lwabantu abangakhathalelananga okanye abanobutshaba ngokuphandle?

Ukuhlala Ngokusisigxina Komtshato

 3, 4. (a) Nguwuphi umgaqo kaThixo ngomtshato? (b) Kutheni sifanelekile yaye siyingenelo isibakala sokuba umtshato umele ungapheli?

³ Kwanaxa iimeko zintle gqitha, umtshato lumanyano lwabantu abangafezekanga. (Duteronomi 32:5) Ngaloo ndlela umpostile uPawulos wathi “ke [abatshatayo] boba nembandezelo enyameni.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Iimeko ezithile ezimbi gqitha zisenokude zikhokelele ekwahlukaneni okanye kuqhawulo-mtshato. (Mateyu 19:9; 1 Korinte 7:12-15) Noko ke, kwiimeko ezininzi, amaKristu asebenzisa esi siluleko sikaPawulos: “Umfazi makangahlukani nendoda . . . , indoda mayingamali umfazi wayo.” (1 Korinte 7:10, 11) Eneneni, umtshato wawenziwe ngenjongo yokuba ube lumanyano olungapheliyo, kuba uYesu Kristu wathi: “Oko ke ngoko uThixo akumanyileyo, makungahlulwa mntu.”—Mateyu 19:6.

⁴ Kumntu oziva evaleleke kumtshato onobutshaba nongenaluthando, umgaqo kaYehova usenokubonakala ungqongqo yaye ungenalwazelelelo. Kodwa awunjalo. Isibakala sokuba umanyano lomtshato lumele lungapheli sishukumisela isibini esoyika uThixo ekubeni sijamelane size sizame ukuzicombulula iingxaki zaso, kunokuba sithi zibekwa nje sibe sesikhawuleza ukuzishiya iimbopheleleko zaso. Enye indoda ebitshate ngaphezu kweminyaka engama-20 ikubeka ngolu hlobo: “Akunakuwaphepha amaxesha eenkathazo. Aniyi kusoloko nonwabile lonke ixesha. Kulapho ke ngokwenene kubaluleke khona ukuzinikela omnye komnye.” Kakade ke, izibini ezingamaKristu zinembopheleleko kuqala kuYehova uThixo, umSunguli womtshato.—Thelekisa INtshumayeli 5:4.

Ubuntloko Nokuzithoba

 5. Sisiphi esinye seziluleko zikaPawulos kumadoda nabafazi?

⁵ Ngoko ke, xa kuvela iingxaki, lixesha lokufuna indlela elunge ngakumbi yokusebenzisa isiluleko seLizwi likaThixo, kungekhona indlela yokuphuncula. Ngokomzekelo, khawuqwalasele amazwi kaPawulos, afumaneka kwabase-Efese 5:22-25, 28, 29: “Nina bafazi, walulameleni awenu amadoda, ngokokululamela iNkosi; ngokuba indoda le iyintloko yomfazi, njengokuba naye uKristu eyintloko yebandla eli; waye yena ngokwakhe enguMsindisi wawo umzimba. Ke, kwanjengokuba ibandla eli limlulamela uKristu, mabathi ngokunjalo nabafazi bawalulamele awabo amadoda ezintweni zonke. Nina madoda, bathandeni abafazi benu, njengokuba naye uKristu walithandayo ibandla, wazinikela ngenxa yalo. Ngoko amelwe amadoda ukubathanda abawo abafazi, njengokuba beyimizimba yawo. Lowo umthandayo umkakhe, uyazithanda; kuba akukho namnye wakha wayithiya eyakhe inyama; usuka ayondle, ayigcine, njengokuba nayo iNkosi ilenjenjalo ibandla.”

 6. Amadoda angamaKristu amele ahluke njani kumadoda ehlabathi?

⁶ Ngokufuthi amaninzi aye alisebenzisa kakubi igunya lawo njengamadoda aza abalawula abafazi bawo. (Genesis 3:16) Noko ke, uPawulos wabongoza amadoda angamaKristu ukuba ahluke kumadoda ehlabathi, afane noKristu, angabi ngoozwilakhe elawula konke ukuphila kwabafazi bawo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, indoda enguYesu Kristu ayizange ibe ngqwabalala okanye ilawule ngegqudu. Yabaphatha ngembeko nangentlonelo abalandeli bayo, isithi: “Yizani kum nonke nina nibulalekayo, nisindwayo ngumthwalo, ndoninika ukuphumla. Thabathani idyokhwe yam niyithwale, nifunde kum; ngokuba ndinobulali, ndithobekile ngentliziyo.”—Mateyu 11:28, 29.

 7. Indoda inokumbeka njani umfazi wayo xa emele aphangele?

⁷ Indoda engumKristu iyambeka umfazi wa-yo njengesitya esiethe-ethe. (1 Petros 3:7) Ngokomzekelo, masithi umfazi umele aphangele. Iya kukuqwalasela oku, ibe luncedo yaye ibe nolwazelelelo kangangoko. Esinye isizathu esiyintloko esibangela abafazi baqhawule umtshato kukutyeshela kwabayeni babo abantwana okanye ikhaya. Ngoko ke, indoda engumKristu iya kuzama ukuba luncedo kuye ekhaya ngeendlela eziyingenelo kwintsapho iphela.

 8. Ukuzithoba kuquka ntoni kubafazi abangamaKristu?

⁸ Ukuphathwa ngembeko kwenza kube lula ngabafazi abangamaKristu ukuthobela amadoda abo. Noko ke, oku akuthethi ubukhoboka. UThixo wayalela ukuba umfazi wayeya kuba ‘ngumphelelisi’ (“iqabane,” ngokombhalo osemazantsi kwiimbekiselo ze-NW), kungekhona ikhoboka, okuthetha ukuba wayeya kuba yinto efanelekileyo endodeni. (Genesis 2:18) KuMalaki 2:14, kuthethwa ngomfazi ‘njengedlelane.’ Ngenxa yoko, ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile abafazi babenenkululeko ebanzi. Ithetha ‘ngomfazi onesidima,’ iBhayibhile ithi: “Ikholose ngaye intliziyo yendoda yakhe.” Eneneni, wayephathiswe imisebenzi enjengokunyamekela ikhaya, ukuvelela ukuthengwa kokudla, ukuxoxa ngokuthengwa komhlaba, nokunyamekela ishishini elincinane.—IMizekeliso 31:10-31.

 9. (a) Abafazi aboyik’ uThixo ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile bakubonisa njani ukuzithoba kokwenene? (b) Yintoni enokunceda umfazi ongumKristu ahlale ezithoba namhlanje?

⁹ Sekunjalo, umfazi owoyika uThixo wayelamkela igunya lendoda yakhe. Ngokomzekelo, uSara ‘wayemlulamela uAbraham, embiza ngokuthi yinkosi,’ engenzi nje ukubonisa inkcubeko, kodwa ebonisa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuzithoba kwakhe. (1 Petros 3:6; Genesis 18:12) Kwakhona wavuma ukulishiya ikhaya lakhe elitofotofo kwisixeko saseUre ukuze ahlale ezintenteni nendoda yakhe. (Hebhere 11:8, 9) Kodwa ukuzithoba akuzange kuthethe ukuba umfazi wayengenakuthabatha inyathelo elibalulekileyo xa kufuneka. Xa uMoses engazange enze ngokuvisisana nomthetho kaThixo wolwaluko, umfazi wakhe, uTsipora, wanqanda ingozi ngokuthabatha amanyathelo ngokukhawuleza. (Eksodus 4:24-26) Kubandakanyeke okungakumbi kunokukholisa indoda engafezekanga. Abafazi bamele ‘bawalulamele awabo amadoda, ngokokululamela iNkosi.’ (Efese 5:22) Xa umfazi ongumKristu ecinga ngolwalamano lwakhe noThixo, oku kumnceda angazisiso iintsilelo ezingephi zendoda yakhe, kwananjengokuba nayo imele yenjenjalo kulwalamano lwayo naye.

Unxibelelwano—Undoqo Emtshatweni

10. Unxibelelwano lubaluleke kangakanani emtshatweni?

¹⁰ Xa labuzwa esona sizathu siphambili sokwahlukana kwezibini ezitshatileyo, elinye igqwetha loqhawulo-mtshato laphendula: “Kukungakwazi ukuncokola ngokunyaniseka, ziphalaze imbilini zize ziphathane njengabona bahlobo basenyongweni.” Ewe, unxibelelwano ngundoqo kumtshato oluqilima. Njengokuba iBhayibhile isitsho, “iingcinga ziyatshitsha ngokungabikho kokucweya.” (IMizekeliso 15:22) Amadoda nabafazi kufuneka babe ‘ngamakholwane,’ babe nolwalamano olufudumeleyo nolusenyongweni. (IMizekeliso 2:17) Sekunjalo, izibini ezininzi ziyabetheka xa kufikelelwa kunxibelelwano, ngaloo ndlela intiyo iyakhula de kugqabhuke umsindo oyingozi. Okanye amaqabane omtshato asenokuzimela ngesebe lenkawu lokubonisa inkcubeko, evula umsantsa phakathi kwawo ngokweemvakalelo.

11. Unxibelelwano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi lunokuphuculwa njani?

¹¹ Ngokuyinxenye kubonakala ngathi le ngxaki ibangelwa kukuba amadoda nabafazi bayahluka ngeendlela zokunxibelelana. Inkoliso yabafazi ibonakala ikuthanda ukuncokola ngeemvakalelo zayo, ngoxa ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda ebonakala ekhetha ukuxubusha ngezibakala. Abafazi batyekele ngakumbi ekubonakaliseni uvelwano nasekunikeleni inkxaso ngokweemvakalelo, ngoxa amadoda etyekele ekufuneni nasekunikeleni izicombululo. Sekunjalo, lusenokubakho unxibelelwano oluhle apho omabini amaqabane ezimisele ‘ukwenza msinya ukuva, enze kade ukuthetha, enze kade ukuqumba.’ (Yakobi 1:19) Mjonge emehlweni omnye uze unikele ingqalelo ngokwenene. Menze omnye athethe ngokusebenzisa imibuzo ebonisa ulwazelelelo. (Thelekisa eyoku-1 kaSamuweli 1:8; IMizekeliso 20:5.) Kunokuzama ukunikela isicombululo ngokukhawuleza xa iqabane lakho livelisa ingxaki, phulaphula ngenyameko njengokuba nizama ukulungisa imicimbi. Nize ngokuthobeka nithandaze kunye, nifune ukhokelo lukaThixo.—INdumiso 65:2; Roma 12:12.

12. Amaqabane angamaKristu anokuzongela njani ixesha lokuncokola?

¹² Maxa wambi iingxaki neengcinezelo zobomi zisenokubonakala ziwashiya amaqabane omtshato engenaxesha lingako okanye ediniwe ukuba angancokola ngokunentsingiselo. Noko ke, ukuba amaKristu afuna ukugcina imitshato yawo ibekekile aze ayilondoloze ingadyobheki, amele ahlale esondelelene. Amele umanyano lwawo aluphathe njengento eligugu, exabisekileyo, yaye alongele ixesha aze azenzele ixesha lokuncokola kunye. (Thelekisa eyabaseKolose 4:5.) Kwiimeko ezithile isicombululo sokufumana ixesha lokuba nencoko ephilisayo sisenokuba kukucima umabonwakude kuphela. Ukuphunga iti okanye ikofu kunye rhoqo kunokuwanceda amaqabane omtshato ahlale enxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo. Ngezihlandlo ezinjalo ‘anokucebisana’ ngemicimbi eyahlukahlukeneyo yentsapho. (IMizekeliso 13:10) Yaye hayi indlela ekububulumko ngayo ukuncokola ngezinto ezingephi ezicaphukisayo nezibangela ukungaqondani ngaphambi kokuba zibe zizizekabani zokruthakruthwano!—Thelekisa uMateyu 5:23, 24; Efese 4:26.

13. (a) UYesu wamisela wuphi umzekelo wokukhululeka nokunyaniseka? (b) Ziziphi ezinye iindlela amaqabane omtshato anokusondelelana ngazo?

¹³ Enye indoda yavuma yathi: “Ngokufuthi, ndikufumanisa kunzima ukuthetha oko ndikucingayo ndize ndimxelele [unkosikazi] indlela kanye endivakalelwa ngayo ngokwenene.” Phofu ke, ukuphalaza imbilini yakho kungundoqo ekusondelelaneni. Phawula indlela awayethetha ngokuphandle nangokunyanisekileyo ngayo uYesu nabo babeza kuba ngamalungu odidi lomtshakazi wakhe. Wathi: “Andisatsho ukuthi ningabakhonzi; ngokuba umkhonzi akakwazi okwenziwa yinkosi yakhe; mna ke ndithe nizizihlobo; ngokuba zonke izinto endaziva kuBawo, ndanazisa zona.” (Yohane 15:15) Ngoko iqabane lakho lijonge njengomhlobo. Lithembe iqabane lakho ngeemvakalelo zakho. Zabalazela ukutsho “amazwi othando” alula, anyanisekileyo. (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 1:2, NW) Maxa wambi kusenokubonakala kunzima ukunxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo, kodwa xa omabini amaqabane omtshato esenza unako nako, kukhulu okuya kufezwa ekwenzeni umtshato ube lumanyano olungapheliyo.

Ukusingatha Ukungavisisani

14, 15. Kunokuphetshwa njani ukuxambulisana?

¹⁴ Ngokuqinisekileyo ngamathuba athile ziya kuvela izinto ngokunyanisekileyo eningavisisani ngazo. Kodwa akuyomfuneko ukuba ikhaya lakho liguquke libe ‘yindlu ezele imbambano.’ (IMizekeliso 17:1) Kulumkele ukuxubusha imibandela enobuzaza xa abantwana besenokuva, yaye bonisa ulwazelelelo ngeemvakalelo zeqabane lakho. Xa uRakeli wavakalisa ukukhathazeka ngenxa yobudlolo waza wacela uYakobi ukuba amnike abantwana, ngomsindo waphendula: “Ndisesikhundleni sikaThixo na, okuvimbileyo isiqhamo sesizalo?” (Genesis 30:1, 2) Xa kuvela iingxaki zentsapho, hlasela ingxaki kungekhona umntu. Xa nithetha nobabini, kuphepheni ‘ukuthetha ningacinganga’ okanye ukuphazamisana ngokungeyomfuneko.—IMizekeliso 12:18, NW.

¹⁵ Liyinyaniso elokuba usenokuba uvakalelwa ngamandla ngembono yakho, kodwa ezi zisenokuvakaliswa ngaphandle ‘kobukrakra, nomsindo, nengqumbo nengxolo, nonyeliso.’ (Efese 4:31) Enye indoda ithi: “Iingxaki zenu zixubusheni ngelizwi eliphantsi. Ukuba kukhe kwenyuka ilizwi, kuhle nithi xha. Buyani emva kwethutyana. Niqale ngokutsha.” IMizekeliso 17:14 inikela eli cebiso lihle: “Yiyeke imbambano kungekavunganyelwana.” Zamani ukuxubusha imibandela kwakhona nakuba nizolile nobabini.

Hlalani Nithembekile Omnye Komnye

16. Kutheni ukukrexeza kungumbandela onzulu kangaka?

¹⁶ AmaHebhere 13:4 athi: “Umtshato mawubekeke ngeendlela zonke, nesilili masingadyojwa, ke abenza umbulo nabakrexezi, uThixo uya kubagweba.” Ukukrexeza kusisono kuThixo. Kuyawonakalisa nomtshato. (Genesis 39:9) Omnye umcebisi ngomtshato ubhala athi: “Lwakwaziwa ukrexezo, yonke intsapho iba ngathi ibethwe yinkanyamba, amakhaya asale ebubutyobo, ukuthembana nokuzihlonela kuphele, abaselula bona bayenzakala.” Eminye imiphumo isenokuba kukumitha okanye isifo esidluliselwa ngesini.

17. Utyekelo lokukrexeza lunokuphetshwa okanye lugatywe njani?

¹⁷ Bambi abantu bakhuthaza utyekelo lokukrexeza ngokungenisa iimbono ezonakeleyo ngesini ezisezincwadini, kumabonwakude, nakwimifanekiso eshukumayo. (Galati 6:8) Noko ke, abaphengululi bathi ngokuqhelekileyo ukrexezo alubangelwa ngumnqweno wesini nje kuphela kodwa kukuba ubani efuna ukuzingqina esenomtsalane okanye ngumnqweno wokuziva ethandwa. (Thelekisa IMizekeliso 7:18.) Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, umKristu umele azigatye iinkanuko zokuziphatha kakubi. Ngokunyaniseka zixubushe neqabane lakho iimvakalelo zakho. Ukuba kuyimfuneko, funa uncedo lwabadala. Ukwenjenjalo kusenokukukhusela ungaweli esonweni. Ngaphezu koko, amaKristu kufuneka alumke xa eqhubana nabesini esahlukileyo. Bekuya kuba kokuchaseneyo nemigaqo yeZibhalo ukutshata nomnye umntu kodwa umjonge ngokumkhanuka omnye. (Yobhi 31:1; Mateyu 5:28) AmaKristu afanele akuphaphele ngokukodwa ukutsaleleka ngokweemvakalelo kwabo asebenza nabo. Ulwalamano olunjalo lumele lugcinwe lulolobuhlobo kodwa lulolomsebenzi kuphela.

18. Ngokufuthi siyintoni isizekabani seengxaki zesini emtshatweni, yaye ezi zinokuconjululwa njani?

¹⁸ Enye indlela yokuzikhusela ephumelela ngakumbi kukuba nolwalamano lobuhlobo, nolukhululekileyo neqabane likabani. Abaphengululi abaninzi bathi iingxaki zesini emtshatweni kunqabile ukuba zibangelwe ziingxaki ezisemzimbeni kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo zibangelwa kukunqongophala konxibelelwano. Iingxaki ezilolu hlobo ziyanqaba xa isibini sinxibelelana ngokukhululekileyo yaye sinikana iimfanelo zomtshato njengendlela yokubonisa uthando kungekhona njengembopheleleko.a Ngaphantsi kweemeko ezifanelekileyo ezinjalo, ulwalamano olusenyongweni lunokulomeleza iqhina lomtshato.—1 Korinte 7:2-5; 10:24.

19. Yintoni ‘intambo yogqibelelo,’ yaye inokuba nawuphi umphumo emtshatweni?

¹⁹ Luthando ‘oluyintambo yogqibelelo’ ebandleni lamaKristu. Ngokuhlakulela uthando, isibini esitshatileyo esihlonela uThixo siyakwazi ukuqhubeka ‘sinyamezelana, sixolelana.’ (Kolose 3:13, 14) Uthando olulawulwa yimigaqo lufuna intlalo-ntle yabanye. (1 Korinte 13:4-8) Hlakulelani uthando olunjalo. Luya kuninceda nomeleze iqhina lomtshato wenu. Sebenzisani imigaqo yeBhayibhile kubomi benu bomtshato. Ukuba nenjenjalo, umtshato wenu uya kuba lumanyano olungapheliyo ibe uya kuzisa uzuko nembeko kuYehova uThixo.

[Umbhalo osemazantsi]

Ubuya Kuphendula Uthini?

◻ Kutheni umtshato ufanele ube lumanyano olungapheliyo?

◻ Iyintoni imbono yeBhayibhile ngobuntloko nokuzithoba?

◻ Izibini ezitshatileyo zinokuluphucula njani unxibelelwano?

◻ Izibini zinokukusingatha njani ukungavisisani ngendlela yobuKristu?

◻ Yintoni eya kuba luncedo ekomelezeni iqhina lomtshato?

[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 12]

Indoda engumKristu ayiyi kumvumela umfazi wayo abe nemithwalo emininzi, ukuba ukwamele aphangele