Bonisa Uthando Nentlonelo Ngokulawula Ulwimi Lwakho
“Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.”—EFESE 5:33.
1, 2. Nguwuphi umbuzo obalulekileyo abamele bazibuze wona bonke abo batshatileyo, ibe kutheni bemele bazibuze nje?
MASITHI ufumana isipho sisongelwe yaye sibhalwe la mazwi: “Siphathe Kakuhle.” Ubuya kusiphatha njani? Ngokuqinisekileyo ubuya kwenza unako nako ukuze ungasonakalisi. Kuthekani ngesipho somtshato?
2 Kumabhinqa aselula uOrpa noRute, umhlolokazi ongumSirayeli uNahomi wathi: “Wanga uYehova anganinika isipho, nize nifumane indawo yokuphumla ngamnye kwindlu yendoda yakhe.” (Rute 1:3-9) Ngokuphathelele umfazi olungileyo, iBhayibhile ithi: “Lilifa elivela kooyise indlu nobutyebi, kodwa umfazi oyingqondi uvela kuYehova.” (IMizekeliso 19:14) Ukuba utshatile, iqabane lakho umele ulijonge njengesipho esivela kuThixo. Usiphatha njani esi sipho akunike sona uThixo?
3. Sisiphi isiluleko sikaPawulos esimele sithotyelwe ngamadoda nabafazi bawo?
3 Ebhalela amaKristu enkulungwane yokuqala, umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” (Efese 5:33) Qwalasela indlela amadoda nabafazi abanokusithobela ngayo esi siluleko kwindlela abathetha ngayo.
Lumkela “Into Engalawulekiyo Embi”
4. Yenzeka njani into yokuba ulwimi lube nemiphumo emibi nelungileyo?
4 Umbhali weBhayibhile uYakobi uthi ulwimi “luyinto engalawulekiyo embi, luzele yityhefu ebulalayo.” (Yakobi 3:8) UYakobi wayebuqonda kakuhle ubunyani bokuba: Ulwimi olungalawulekiyo lwenza umonakalo ongathethekiyo. Umele ukuba wayewazi nakanjani na umzekeliso weBhayibhile ofanisa amazwi angacingisiswanga ‘nokuhlaba kwekrele.’ Ngokwahlukileyo koko, lo mzekeliso uphinda uthi, “ulwimi lwezilumko luyaphilisa.” (IMizekeliso 12:18) Eneneni, amazwi anokuba negalelo ngamandla. Anokwenzakalisa, okanye aphilise. Livakalelwa njani ngamazwi akho iqabane lakho lomtshato? Ukuba unokulibuza, lingaphendula lithini?
5, 6. Ziziphi izinto ezenza kube nzima kwabanye ukulawula ulwimi lwabo?
5 Ukuba sele niqalile ukugrwangxulana emtshatweni, ninako ukuyiphucula loo meko. Noko ke, kuza kufuneka umgudu. Kutheni ufuneka nje? Kaloku, kufuneka ulwe nokungafezeki. Isono esasizuz’ ilifa sinempembelelo embi kwindlela esicinga ngayo nesithetha ngayo nabanye. UYakobi wathi: “Ukuba kukho nabani na ongakhubeki zwini, lowo uyindoda egqibeleleyo, ekwaziyo ukuwubamba ngomkhala kwanomzimba wayo uphela.”—Yakobi 3:2.
6 Ukongezelela ekungafezekini kwabantu, indlela esikhule ngayo iba negalelo ekusetyenzisweni kakubi kolwimi. Bambi bakhulela kumakhaya apho abazali ‘babengayifuni kwaphela imvisiswano, bengenakuzeyisa, beziindlobongela.’ (2 Timoti 3:1-3) Abantwana abakhulela kuloo meko badla ngokuba njalo nabo bakuba badala. Kakade ke, ukungafezeki nokungakhuliswa kakuhle akusosingxengxezo sokusebenzisa amazwi ahlabayo. Noko ke, ukwazi ezi zibakala kusinceda sisiqonde isizathu sokuba kunzima kwabanye ukulawula ulwimi lungathethi izinto ezimbi.
‘Yekani Ukudlan’ Izithende’
7. Wayethetha ukuthini uPetros xa wayelumkisa amaKristu ukuba ‘alahle zonke iintlobo zokudlan’ izithende’?
7 Enoba siyintoni na isizathu, amazwi ahlabayo anokubonisa ukungalithandi nokungalihloneli iqabane lakho. Ngesizathu esivakalayo, uPetros walumkisa amaKristu ukuba ‘alahle zonke iintlobo zokudlan’ izithende.’ (1 Petros 2:1) Igama lesiGrike eliguqulelwe ngokuthi ‘ukudlan’ izithende’ lithetha ‘ukunyemba.’ Kuthetha ‘ukugibisela umntu ngamazwi ahlabayo.’ Oko kuyichaza kakuhle imiphumo yolwimi olungalawulwayo.
8, 9. Unokuba yintoni umphumo wokunyembana, ibe kutheni emele akuphephe nje oku amaqabane atshatileyo?
8 Ukunyemba kusenokubonakala kungeyonto ingako, kodwa cinga into eyenzekayo xa umfazi nendoda benyembana. Ukuthi iqabane lakho sisidenge, ivila, okanye liyazingca kuthetha ukuba uthi ngungantweni nje ekungekho yakhe. Yinkohlakalo engathethekiyo leyo. Kuthekani xa ugxibha iqabane lakho, ubaxa iintsilelo zalo? Ngaba akuligxibhi xa usithi kulo “Uhlal’ ufika emva kwexesha” okanye “Akuphulaphuli umthetho lo wakho”? Loo mazwi anokwenza elinye lifune ukuziphendulela, yaye oko kunokuvusa ingxabano eshushu.—Yakobi 3:5.
9 Ukunyembana kuyawonakalisa umtshato, ibe kunokuba nemiphumo emibi. IMizekeliso 25:24 ithi: “Kulunge ngakumbi ukuhlala phezu kwembombo yophahla kunokuhlala endlwini nomfazi onosukuzwano.” Kakade ke, kunjalo nangendoda ethanda usukuzwano. Ethubeni, amazwi ahlabayo anokonakalisa ulwalamano lomtshato, mhlawumbi umyeni okanye umfazi azive engathandwa, okanye kungekho yakhe. Kucacile ukuba, kubalulekile ukuba silulawule ulwimi lwethu. Kodwa singalulawula njani?
‘Ukubamba Ulwimi Ngomkhala’
10. Kutheni kubalulekile nje ukulawula ulwimi lwethu?
10 UYakobi 3:8 uthi: “Ulwimi, akukho namnye kuluntu onako ukulwenza mbuna.” Kodwa, njengokuba umkhweli wehashe esebenzisa umkhala ukulawula ihashe, nathi simele senze konke okusemandleni ukulawula ulwimi lwethu ngokungathi kungomkhala. “Ukuba umntu uzibona engumnquli ofanelekileyo ukanti engalubambi ngomkhala ulwimi lwakhe, kodwa eqhubeka ekhohlisa intliziyo yakhe, unqulo lwakhe luphuthile.” (Yakobi 1:26; 3:2, 3) La mazwi abonisa ukubaluleka kwendlela esilusebenzisa ngayo ulwimi lwethu. Ayichaphazeli ulwalamano lwethu namaqabane omtshato kuphela; ichaphazela nolwalamano lwethu noYehova uThixo.—1 Petros 3:7.
11. Umntu unokukuthintela njani ukungaboni ngasonye kungavus’ ingxabano?
11 Bubulumko ukulumkela indlela othetha ngayo neqabane lomtshato. Xa imeko ifuna ukuba mbi, zama ukucima loo mlilo. Cinga ngoko kwenzeka kuIsake nomfazi wakhe uRebheka, njengokuba kubhalwe kwiGenesis 27:46–28:4. “URebheka wahlala esithi kuIsake: ‘Ndiyabenyanya ubomi bam ngenxa yezi ntombi zakwaHeti. Ukuba kwiintombi zeli lizwe, uYakobi uthe wathabatha umfazi ezintombini zakwaHeti, njengazo ezi, bungaba salunga ngantoni na ubomi kum?’” Akukho nto ibonisa ukuba uIsake wamphendula rhabaxa. Kunoko, wathumela uYakobi kude ukuze azifunele umfazi ohlonela uThixo owayengayi kubenza krakra ubomi bukaRebheka. Makhe sithi umfazi nendoda yakhe ababoni ngasonye. Ukuziquka uthethe ngawe kunokubhekisa kuye kungayithintela ingxabano. Ngokomzekelo, kunokuba uthi, “Awukhe uchithe ixesha nam!” kutheni ungathi, “Akwaba besinokukhe sichithe ixesha kunye”? Lungisa ingxaki le ikhoyo, kungekhona umntu. Kuphephe ukugxininisa into yokuba ngubani owenze kakuhle ingubani owonileyo. Incwadi yamaRoma 14:19 ithi: “Masisukele izinto ezisingisa eluxolweni nezinto ezakhayo komnye nomnye.”
Lahlani ‘Ubukrakra Bolunya, Umsindo Nengqumbo’
12. Yintoni esimele siyithandazele ukuze silawule ulwimi lwethu, ibe yintoni isizathu soko?
12 Ukulawula ulwimi asingombandela nje wokulumkela oko sikuthethayo. Ngapha koko, amazwi ethu atyhila oko kusentliziyweni yethu. UYesu wathi: “Umntu olungileyo uvelisa okulungileyo kubuncwane obulungileyo bentliziyo yakhe, kodwa umntu ongendawo uvelisa okungendawo kubuncwane bakhe obungendawo; kuba umlomo uthetha ngokuphuphuma kwentliziyo.” (Luka 6:45) Ngoko ke, ukuze silawule ulwimi lwethu, kusenokufuneka sithandaze njengoDavide owathi: “Dala ngaphakathi kum intliziyo esulungekileyo, Thixo, uze ufake ngaphakathi kum umoya omtsha, oqinileyo.”—INdumiso 51:10.
13. Ubukrakra bolunya, umsindo nengqumbo ezo zinto zinokukhokelela njani ekutshabhiseni?
13 UPawulos wabongoza abase-Efese ukuba bangayeki ukuthetha amazwi ahlabayo nje kuphela kodwa boyise neemvakalelo ezingumthombo wawo. Wathi: “Mabususwe kuni bonke ubukrakra bolunya nomsindo nengqumbo nokumemeza nokutshabhisa nabo bonke ububi.” (Efese 4:31) Phawula ukuba ngaphambi kokuthetha ‘ngokumemeza nokutshabhisa,’ uPawulos ukhankanya “ubukrakra bolunya nomsindo nengqumbo.” Kukuvutha ngumsindo okwenza umntu agqabhuke atsho ngamazwi ahlabayo. Ngoko, umele uzibuze oku: “Ngaba ndifukama ubukrakra nengqumbo entliziyweni? Ngaba ‘ndityekele emsindweni’?” (IMizekeliso 29:22) Ukuba kunjalo, thandaza ucele uThixo akuncede ulwe nalo mkhwa uzame ukuzeyisa ukuze uphephe ukugqajukelwa ngumsindo. INdumiso 4:4 ithi: “Phazamisekani, kodwa ningoni. Thethani entliziyweni yenu, emandlalweni wenu, nize nithi cwaka.” Xa uziva ukuba unyukelwa ngumsindo ube uqonda ukuba kunzima ukuzibamba, cinga ngesilumkiso esikwiMizekeliso 17:14 esithi: “Ngaphambi kokuba kuvele ingxabano, rhoxa.” Khawuthi gu kuloo ndawo de amafu adlule.
14. Inzondo ingawuchaphazela njani umtshato?
14 Akukho lula ukulwa nengqumbo nomsindo, ngakumbi xa ibangelwa koko uPawulos akuthi ‘bubukrakra bolunya.’ Igama lesiGrike elisetyenziswe nguPawulos apha libonisa ‘inzondo eyenza ungafuni kuxolela nolunya olwenza uhlale ubala izinto ezimbi ezenziwa kuwe.’ Maxa wambi loo ntiyo iba ludonga phakathi kwendoda nomfazi wayo, ibe inokutsala ixesha elide. Basenokuqala ukunyembana xa kungaconjululwa kakuhle oko. Kodwa asibobulumko ukufukama inzondo ngeziphoso ezidluleyo. Ubisi oluchithakeleyo alunakubuthwa. Xa umntu umxolele intle into yokuba ukuphose ngasemva oko. Uthando “alunanzondo.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 5.
15. Yintoni eya kubanceda batshintshe abo sele eziphumela nje kubo amazwi ahlabayo?
15 Kuthekani ukuba kowenu ukhule eyinto yomhla nezolo amazwi arhabaxa yaye sele eziphumela nje? Unako ukuphucula nakule inkalo. Zikho izinto ozibekela imiqathango kuzo apha ebomini, ozixelelayo ukuba akuyi kuzenza nakanjani na. Uya kuzibekela yiphi ke imiqathango kumazwi akho? Ngaba uya kuzibamba kumazwi ahlabayo? Kuya kufuneka uzibekele lo mqathango ukweyabase-Efese 4:29: “Makungaphumi lizwi libolileyo emlonyeni wenu.” Oku kufuna ukuba ‘uhlube ubuntu obudala kunye noqheliselo lwabo, uze wambathe ubuntu obutsha, obuthi ngolwazi oluchanileyo benziwe bube butsha ngokomfanekiso waLowo wabudalayo.’—Kolose 3:9, 10.
Kumele Kubekho ‘Igqugula’
16. Kutheni kuyingozi nje ukungathethisani kubantu abatshatileyo?
16 Akuloncedo kwaphela—yaye kungenza umonakalo omkhulu gqitha—ukuba elinye iqabane libhenela ekubeni lingalithethisi elinye. Oko akudli ngokuba yindlela yokohlwaya elinye iqabane, kuba kudla ngokubangela udandatheko okanye ukudimazeka. Ukungathethisani kuyenza mandundu imeko ibe akuyicombululi ingxaki. Omnye umfazi wathi, “xa siphinda sithethisana, asiphindi sixubushe ngayo ukuze siyicombulule lo ngxaki.”
17. Amele enze ntoni amaKristu aneengxaki zomtshato?
17 Xa kukho ingxabano ezingileyo emtshatweni, ayinakusuka iyekwe nje. IMizekeliso 15:22 ithi: “Amacebo ayatshitsha apho kungekho gqugula, kodwa ngobuninzi babacebisi kukho okufezwayo.” Nimele nihlale phantsi neqabane lakho ukuze nixubushe ngaloo mbandela. Kuyo nayiphi na imeko, liphulaphule ngenyameko iqabane lakho. Ukuba kubonakala kunzima oko, kutheni ungaceli uncedo lwabadala bebandla lamaKristu? Banolwazi lweZibhalo namava okusebenzisa imigaqo yeBhayibhile. La madoda ‘anjengendawo yokuzimela umoya nendawo yokuzifihla esiphangweni.’—Isaya 32:2.
Unokuyoyisa Le Ngxaki Yolwimi
18. Nguwuphi umlo ochazwe kumaRoma 7:18-23?
18 Ngumlo onzima ukubamba ulwimi ngomkhala. Kunjalo nokuzama ukuzibamba ekwenzeni izinto ezithile. Echaza ubunzima awayejamelene nabo, umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ndiyazi ukuba kum, oko kukuthi, kwinyama yam, akuhlali nto ilungileyo; kuba umnqweno ukho kum, kodwa amandla okwenza oko kuhle akakho. Kuba okulungileyo endikunqwenelayo andikwenzi, kodwa okubi endingakunqweneliyo kuko endikuqheliselayo. Ukuba oko ndingakunqweneliyo koko ndikwenzayo, lowo ukusebenzayo ayisendim, kodwa sisono esihleli kum.” Ngenxa ‘yomthetho wesono osemalungwini ethu,’ sityekele ekulisebenziseni kakubi ulwimi namanye amalungu omzimba. (Roma 7:18-23) Nakuba kunjalo, simele silwe—ibe ngoncedo lukaThixo sinokuyoyisa le ngxaki.
19, 20. Umzekelo kaYesu unokuwanceda njani amadoda nabafazi babambe ulwimi lwabo ngomkhala?
19 Kumaqabane omtshato athandanayo nahlonelanayo, akumele kubekho amazwi angacingwanga, nahlabayo. Cinga nje ngomzekelo kaYesu Kristu. UYesu zange khe abathuke abafundi bakhe. Nakubusuku bokugqibela ephila emhlabeni xa abapostile bakhe babephikisana ngoyena mkhulu kunabanye, uNyana kaThixo akazange abanyembe. (Luka 22:24-27) IBhayibhile ithi: “Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu, kanye njengokuba noKristu walithandayo ibandla waza wazinikela ngenxa yalo.”—Efese 5:25.
20 Kuthekani ke ngomfazi? “Yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” (Efese 5:33) Ngaba umfazi oyihlonelayo indoda yakhe unokuyinkqangaza, ayitshabhise? UPawulos wathi: “Ndifuna nazi ukuba intloko yayo yonke indoda nguKristu; intloko yomfazi yindoda; intloko kaKristu nguThixo.” (1 Korinte 11:3) Abafazi bamele bazithobe kwiintloko zawo njengokuba noKristu ezithoba kweyakhe iNtloko. (Kolose 3:18) Nakuba engekho kuthi bantu bangafezekanga onokumxelisa ngokugqibeleleyo uYesu, ukuzama ‘ukulandela emanyathelweni akhe ngokusondeleyo’ kuya kunceda amadoda nabafazi boyise kumlo nxamnye nokusebenzisa kakubi ulwimi.—1 Petros 2:21.
Ufunde Ntoni?
• Ulwimi olungalawulekiyo lunokuwonakalisa njani umtshato?
• Kutheni kunzima kangaka nje ukubamba ulwimi ngomkhala?
• Yintoni esincedayo sizibambe kwintetho yethu?
• Yintoni omele uyenze xa uneengxaki zomtshato?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 24]
Abadala basebenzisa iBhayibhile ukuze bancede abantu