Bafazi—Wahloneleni Ngokunzulu Amadoda Enu
‘Bafazi thobelani amadoda enu.’—EFESE 5:22.
1. Kutheni kudla ngokuba nzima ukuhlonela indoda?
KUMAZWE amaninzi xa abantu betshata, umtshakazi uyafunga, ethembisa ukuba uya kumhlonela ngokunzulu umyeni wakhe. Noko ke, enoba kunzima okanye kulula ngabafazi ukusigcina eso sifungo, oko kuxhomekeka kwindlela amadoda amaninzi abaphatha ngayo abafazi bawo. Noko ke, umtshato waba nesiqalo esihle. UThixo wathabatha ubambo luka-Adam, indoda yokuqala, walwakha lwangumfazi. UAdam wathi: “Ekugqibeleni eli ke lithambo lasemathanjeni am nenyama yasenyameni yam.”—Genesis 2:19-23.
2. Kwenzeke ntoni kubafazi nasemtshatweni mvanje?
2 Nakuba umtshato waba neso siqalo sihle, ekuqaleni kweminyaka yee-1960, kwaqaliswa umbutho wenkululeko yabafazi eMerika—ilinge labafazi lokukhululeka kwigunya lamadoda. Ngelo xesha, amadoda angama-300 ayeshiya iintsapho zawo xa kuthelekiswa nomfazi omnye owayesenjenjalo. Ngasekupheleni kwaloo minyaka, izinto zaziguqukile, amadoda ayeli-100 ayeshiya iintsapho zawo ngoxa yayingumfazi omnye owayesenjenjalo. Ngoku kubonakala ngathi akuthunywana manzi, amabhinqa ayathuka, asele, atshaye aze aziphathe kakubi njengamadoda. Umbuzo ke ngulo, ngaba amabhinqa onwabe ngakumbi ngoku? Akunjalo. Kwamany’ amazwe, phantse isiqingatha sabo bonke abantu abatshatayo baza kuqhawul’ umtshato. Ngaba umgudu wabafazi wokuphucul’ umtshato uziphuculile izinto okanye uzenze zambi ngakumbi?—2 Timoti 3:1-5.
3. Zonakele phi izinto emtshatweni?
3 Konakele phi? Ngokomlinganiselo othile, izinto zonakala mhla uEva walingwa yingelosi enemvukelo, “inyoka yantlandlolo, leyo ibizwa ngokuba nguMtyholi, noSathana.” (ISityhilelo 12:9; 1 Timoti 2:13, 14) USathana wayigqwetha imfundiso kaThixo. Ngokomzekelo, uSathana uwenze umtshato wangathi kukuzibophelela nokuzibetha ngenyek’ etyeni. Esebenzisa iindlela zosasazo zeli hlabathi alilawulayo—uyenza imithetho kaThixo ibonakale ingenabulungisa yaye iphelelwe lixesha. (2 Korinte 4:3, 4) Noko ke, ukuba sikujonga ngeliso elibukhali oko kuthethwa nguThixo ngendima yomfazi emtshatweni, siya kubona indlela okububulumko nokuluncedo ngayo oko kuthethwa liLizwi likaThixo.
Isilumkiso Kwabo Batshatayo
4, 5. (a) Kutheni ibhinqa lifanele lilumke xa licinga ngomtshato? (b) Yintoni ibhinqa elifanele liyenze ngaphambi kokuvuma ukutshata?
4 IBhayibhile iyalumkisa. Ithi kweli hlabathi lilawulwa nguMtyholi, kwanabo bonwabileyo emitshatweni baya kuba “nembandezelo.” Ngoko ke, nakuba umtshato wasungulwa nguThixo, iBhayibhile iyabalumkisa abo batshatayo. Omnye umbhali ophefumlelweyo weBhayibhile wathi ngomhlolokazi okhululekileyo ukuba angaphind’ atshate: “Kodwa unoyolo ngakumbi ukuba uhlala enjengoko anjalo.” Naye uYesu wabakhuthaza ukuba bahlale bengatshatanga abo ‘banako ukukuvulela ithuba’ ukungatshati. Noko ke, ukuba nabani na ukhetha ukutshata, ufanele atshate “eNkosini,” oko kuthetha ukuba atshate nomkhonzi kaThixo ozahluleleyo waza wabhaptizwa.—1 Korinte 7:28, 36-40; Mateyu 19:10-12.
5 Ibhinqa lifanele limkhethe ngenyameko umyeni kuba iBhayibhile ilumkisa isithi: “Umfazi otshatileyo ubotshiwe ngumthetho kwindoda yakhe.” Kuphela “ukhululekile emthethweni wendoda yakhe” ukuba ifile okanye ikrexezile baza ngenxa yoko baqhawul’ umtshato. (Roma 7:2, 3) Uthando lwabantu abaqal’ ukubonana lusenokuba lwanele kubantu abafuna nje ukuthandana, kodwa oko akusiso isiseko esihle kubantu abafun’ ukonwaba emtshatweni. Ngoko ke, ibhinqa elingatshatanga lifanele lizibuze, ‘Ngaba ndikulungele ukuzithoba kwigunya lale ndoda?’ Lo mbuzo ufanelekile ngaphambi komtshato, kodwa awungeni ndawo emva komtshato.
6. Luluphi ukhetho olunokwenziwa yinkoliso yamabhinqa namhlanje, yaye kutheni oko kubalulekile?
6 Kumazwe amaninzi namhlanje, ibhinqa lisenokukhetha ukulivuma okanye lilale isoka elicel’ umtshato. Kodwa, akulula ngamabhinqa ukukhetha ngobulumko, ekubeni ekunqwenela ngamandla ukuthandwa aze atshate. Omnye umbhali wathi: “Ukuba sikulangazelela ngamandla ukwenza into ethile—enoba sifun’ ukutshata okanye ukuya endaweni ethile—sisenokungacingi nakancinane ngeengxaki, kuphela nje siphulaphula loo nto sifun’ ukuyiva.” Ukwenza isigqibo esingacingisiswanga kusenokusiphulukanisa nobomi bethu, ngokufanayo, ukukhetha iqabane lomtshato kusenokuba yingozi.
7. Liliphi icebiso lobulumko kwabo bafuna iqabane lomtshato?
7 Ibhinqa lifanele licingisise nzulu ngoko kuthethwa kukuba phantsi kwegunya lendoda ecel’ umtshato. Kwiminyaka edluleyo, enye intombazana yaseIndiya ngokuthobeka yakhe yathi: “Abazali bethu badala yaye balumkile kunathi, yaye abakhohliseki lula njengathi. . . . Kulula nje ukuba mna ndenze impazamo.” Lubalulekile uncedo lwabazali nolwabanye abantu. Kangangeminyaka emininzi omnye wayedla ngokucebisa abantu abaselula ukuba babazi abazali babantu abaceba ukutshata nabo, babone nendlela ubani asebenzisana ngayo nabazali bakhe namanye amalungu entsapho.
Indlela UYesu Awazithoba Ngayo
8, 9. (a) Kwakuquka ntoni ukuzithoba kukaYesu kuThixo? (b) Ziziphi iinzuzo zokuzithoba?
8 Nangona kungelula ukuzithoba, abafazi bafanele bakugqale njengento ebekekileyo, kanye njengokuba uYesu wenjenjalo. Nangona ukuzithoba kwakhe kuThixo kwakuthetha ukubandezeleka, kuquka nokufa kumthi wentuthumbo, wakuvuyela ukuzithoba kuThixo. (Luka 22:41-44; Hebhere 5:7, 8; 12:3) Abafazi banokumgqala uYesu njengomzekelo wabo, kuba iBhayibhile ithi: “Intloko yomfazi yindoda; intloko kaKristu nguThixo.” (1 Korinte 11:3) Noko ke, asingomtshato kuphela obek’ abafazi ngaphantsi kobuntloko bendoda.
9 IBhayibhile ithi amabhinqa, enoba atshatile okanye akatshatanga, afanele azithobe kubuntloko bamadoda afanelekayo ngokomoya nakhokelayo kwibandla lamaKristu. (1 Timoti 2:12, 13; Hebhere 13:17) Xa amabhinqa ephulaphula uThixo kulo mba, ayimizekelo kwiingelosi ezikwilungiselelo lentlangano kaThixo. (1 Korinte 11:8-10) Ukongezelela, abafazi abaqolileyo, ngomzekelo omhle nangamacebiso abo, bafundisa abafazana ukuba “bazithobe kumadoda abo.”—Tito 2:3-5.
10. UYesu wawumisela njani umzekelo wokuzithoba?
10 UYesu wakuqonda ukubaluleka kokuzithoba. Ngeny’ imini wayalela uPetros ukuba aye kuhlawulela bona bobabini irhafu kumagosa angabantu, yaye wamnika imali yokwenjenjalo. Kamva uPetros wabhala: “Ngenxa yeNkosi zithobeni kuyo yonke indalo engabantu.” (1 Petros 2:13; Mateyu 17:24-27) Ngokuphathelele owona mzekelo ubalaseleyo kaYesu wokuzithoba, siyafunda: “Waziqongqotha waza wathabatha ubume bekhoboka, wafana nabantu. Ngaphezu koko, xa wayekwimo yomntu, wazithoba kwada kwasa ekufeni, ewe, ukufa kwisibonda sentuthumbo.”—Filipi 2:5-8.
11. Kwakutheni ukuze uPetros akhuthaze abafazi ukuba bathobele namadoda angakholwayo?
11 Xa wayekhuthaza amaKristu ukuba azithobe nakwawona magosa ehlabathi angqongqo nangenabulungisa, uPetros wacacisa wathi: “Enyanisweni, nabizelwa kulo eli khondo, kuba noKristu wabandezeleka ngenxa yenu, enishiya nomzekelo, ukuze nilandele emanyathelweni akhe ngokusondeleyo.” (1 Petros 2:21) Emva kokucacisa indlela uYesu awabandezeleka ngayo nendlela awanyamezela ngayo ngokuzithoba, uPetros wakhuthaza abafazi abanamadoda angakholwayo esithi: “Ngokukwanjalo, nina bafazi, wathobeleni amadoda enu, ukuze kuthi, nokuba kukho kuwo angalithobeliyo ilizwi, azuzeke ngaphandle kwelizwi ngenxa yehambo yabafazi bawo, kuba eye angamangqina okuzibonela ehambo yenu enyulu ndawonye nentlonelo enzulu.”—1 Petros 3:1, 2.
12. Ziziphi iinzuzo ezafumaneka ngokuthobela kukaYesu?
12 Ukuthobela xa ugculelwa naxa uxhatshazwa kusenokugqalwa njengobuthathaka. Kodwa leyo asiyondlela uYesu azijonga ngayo izinto. UPetros wabhala: “Xa wayetshabhiswa, akazange aphindise atshabhise. Xa wayebandezeleka, akazange asongele.” (1 Petros 2:23) Abanye abantu ababona uYesu ebandezeleka baba ngamakholwa, ubuncinane ngomlinganiselo othile. Phakathi kwaba singabalula umphangi owayebethelelwe kufuphi naye kuquka negosa elalingumlindi xa wayebethelelwa. (Mateyu 27:38-44, 54; Marko 15:39; Luka 23:39-43) Ngokufanayo, uPetros wabonisa ukuba amadoda athile angakholwayo—kwanalawo axhaphaza abafazi bawo—aya kuba ngamaKristu xa ebona ukuzithoba kwabafazi bawo. Oku sikubonile kusenzeka namhlanje.
Indlela Abafazi Abanokuyizuza Ngayo Inkoliseko
13, 14. Yiyiphi imiphumo efumaneka ngokuzithoba kubayeni abangakholwayo?
13 Abafazi abangamakholwa baye babanceda abayeni babo ngokuziphatha kwabo njengoKristu. Kwindibano yesithili yamaNgqina kaYehova yamvanje, indoda ethile yathi ngomfazi wayo ongumKristu: “Ingathi ndandimphethe ngqwabalala. Sekunjalo, wayendihlonela gqitha. Akazange nanini na abonakalise indelelo. Akazange nanini na andinyanzele ngeenkolelo zakhe. Wayendiphethe ngothando. Xa wayeza kuya endibanweni, wayeqiniseka ukuba undilungiselela ukutya kuselithuba aze enze nomsebenzi wasekhaya. Indlela awayezenza ngayo izinto yandenza ndanomdla eBhayibhileni. Kungokunje, nam ndilapha!” Ewe, ‘wazuzwa ngaphandle kwelizwi’ ngehambo yomfazi wakhe.
14 Njengokuba uPetros wabonisayo, ubukhulu becala asikuko oko umfazi akuthethayo kodwa zizenzo zakhe eziba nemiphumo emihle. Oku kwaboniswa ngumfazi owafunda iBhayibhile waza wazimisela ukuya ezintlanganisweni zamaKristu. Enomsindo umyeni wakhe wathi: “Agnes, ebekhe nje waphuma ngalaa mnyango, ungaphind’ ubuye!” Nangoku uAgnes akazange aphume ‘ngaloo mnyango,’ waphuma ngomnye. Xa wayeza kuphind’ aye kwiintlanganiso ebusuku, umyeni wakhe wathi: “Uza kubuya ndingekho.” Ngokwenene, wayengekho—wahamba iintsuku ezintathu. Ekubuyeni kwakhe, ngobubele uAgnes wabuza: “Ndingakwenzel’ intw’ etyiwayo?” UAgnes akazange ayekelel’ umxakatho ekukhonzeni uYehova. Ekugqibeleni umyeni wakhe wasamkela isifundo seBhayibhile, wahlulela ubomi bakhe kuThixo, yaye kamva wangumdala owayeneembopheleleko ezininzi.
15. Abafazi abangamaKristu bacetyiswa ukuba ‘bahombe’ njani?
15 Umpostile uPetros wakhuthaza into abafazi abakhankanywe ngasentla abaye bayibonisa, “ukuhomba,” kodwa ingekuko ‘kokulukwa kweenwele’ okanye “ukunxitywa kwezambatho zangaphezulu” ngendlela ebaxiweyo. Kunoko, uPetros wathi: “[Ukuhomba kwenu] makube kokomntu ofihlakeleyo wentliziyo ofake isivatho esingenakonakala somoya ozolileyo nowobulali, oxabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo.” Loo moya ubonakala kwimvakalo-zwi nentlonelo kunokufun’ undikho okanye ufune izinto ngenkani. Ngoko ke, umfazi ongumKristu ubonisa intlonelo enzulu kumyeni wakhe.—1 Petros 3:3, 4.
Imizekelo Esinokufunda Kuyo
16. USara ungumzekelo omhle njani kubafazi abangamaKristu?
16 UPetros wabhala: “Babesenjenjalo ukuhomba abafazi abangcwele ababethembele kuThixo, bezithoba kumadoda abo.” (1 Petros 3:5) Abafazi abanjalo babeqonda ukuba ukukholisa uYehova ngokuphulaphula isiluleko sakhe ekugqibeleni kwakuya kuyenza intsapho yonwabe ize ifumane nomvuzo wobomi obungunaphakade. UPetros ukhankanya uSara, umfazi ka-Abraham owayeyinzwakazi, esithi “wayemthobela uAbraham embiza ngokuthi ‘nkosi.’” USara wayixhasa indoda yakhe eyayihlonel’ uThixo neyayiyalelwe nguThixo ukuba iye kumkhonza kwilizwe elikude. Yashiya ubomi obutofo-tofo yade yabeka nobomi bayo esichengeni. (Genesis 12:1, 10-13) UPetros wamncoma uSara ngenkalipho awayenayo esithi: “Ningabantwana bakhe ke nina, ukuba nihlala nisenza okulungileyo kwaye ningoyiki nayiphi na into enkwantyisayo.”—1 Petros 3:6.
17. Kutheni kusenokwenzeka ukuba uPetros wayecinga ngoAbhigali njengomzekelo wabafazi abangamaKristu?
17 UAbhigali, naye wayengumfazi owayekhaliphile nowayemthemba uThixo ekusenokwenzeka ukuba uPetros wayecinga nangaye. UAbhigali “wayeqiqa yaye eyinzwakazi” kodwa indoda yakhe uNabhali “yayingqwabalala noqheliselo lwayo lulubi.” Xa uNabhali wala ukunceda uDavide namadoda akhe, loo madoda axhoba afohlela elungiselela ukumtshayela kuthi tu uNabhali nentsapho yakhe. Kodwa uAbhigali wathabath’ amanyathelo okusindisa intsapho yakhe. Wathabath’ ukutya, wakukhwelisa emahasheni waza wakhawulela uDavide njengokuba wayesendleleni kunye namajoni akhe. Wathi uAbhigali akumbona uDavide, wehla ehasheni, waqubuda, wamcenga ukuba angabahlaseli. UDavide wayechukumiseke gqitha. Wathi: “Makabongwe uYehova uThixo kaSirayeli, okuthumeleyo ngale mini wandihlangabeza! Makubongwe nokuba nengqiqo kwakho.”—1 Samuweli 25:2-33.
18. Ukuba abafazi bancwaswe ngamanye amadoda, ngumzekelo kabani abanokucinga ngawo, yaye ngoba?
18 Omnye umzekelo omhle kubafazi ngumShulamikazi oselula owahlala ethembekile kumalusi oqhelekileyo owayeganene naye. Nakuba wayencwaswe ngukumkani osisinhanha, uthando lwakhe ngomalusi aluzange lugungqe. Engasaziva ngomfana wakhe ongumalusi, wathi: “Ndibeke njengetywina entliziyweni yakho, njengetywina engalweni yakho; ngenxa yokuba uthando lunamandla njengokufa, . . . Amanzi amaninzi akanako ukulucima uthando, nemilambo ayinakulukhukulisa.” (INgoma yazo iiNgoma 8:6, 7) Ngamana bonke abaye bavuma ukutshata bangahlala bethembekile kubayeni babo baze babahlonele ngokunzulu.
Esinye Isiluleko Esivela KuThixo
19, 20. (a) Abafazi bafanele bawathobele ngasiphi isizathu amadoda abo? (b) Nguwuphi umzekelo omhle abafazi abawubekelweyo?
19 Ukuqukumbela, makhe siqwalasele umongo wesibhalo sethu esiyintloko esithi: ‘Bafazi wathobeleni amadoda enu njengakuyo iNkosi.’ (Efese 5:22) Kutheni nimele niwathobele? Indinyana elandelayo ithi: “Ngenxa yokuba indoda iyintloko yomfazi wayo njengokuba noKristu eyintloko yebandla.” Ngoko ke, abafazi babongozwa ukuba: “Njengoko ibandla limthobela uKristu, ngoko mabenjenjalo nabafazi kumadoda abo kuyo yonk’ into.”—Efese 5:23, 24, 33.
20 Ukuze abafazi bakwazi ukuwuthobela lo myalelo, bafanele bafunde baze baxelise umzekelo webandla likaKristu labalandeli abathanjisiweyo. Funda eyesi-2 kwabaseKorinte 11:23-28 uze uve ngezinto elinye ilungu lebandla, umpostile uPawulos awazinyamezelayo ngokuthembeka kwiNtloko yakhe, uYesu Kristu. NjengoPawulos, abafazi kuquka nebandla liphela bafanele bahlale bemthobela ngokuthembeka uYesu. Abafazi bakubonisa oku ngokuhlonela amadoda abo.
21. Yintoni enokubakhuthaza abafazi ukuze bahlale bebathobela abayeni babo?
21 Nangona abafazi abaninzi namhlanje besenokungayiginyi ncam into yokuthobela amadoda, umfazi olumkileyo uya kucinga ngeenzuzo zokwenjenjalo. Ngokomzekelo, ukuthobela indoda engakholwayo kuzo zonke izinto ezingangqubaniyo nemithetho nemigaqo kaThixo kusenokuba nemiphumo emihle ‘yokuyisindisa indoda yakhe.’ (1 Korinte 7:13, 16) Ngapha koko, usenokwaneliseka kukwazi ukuba uYehova uThixo uyakholiswa likhondo lakhe yaye uya kumvuza ngokuxelisa umzekelo woNyana wakhe amthandayo.
Ngaba Usakhumbula?
• Kutheni kusenokungabi lula ngomfazi ukuhlonela indoda yakhe?
• Kutheni kuyinto enzulu kangaka ukuvuma xa ubani ecelwa umtshato?
• UYesu waba ngumzekelo njani kubafazi, yaye yiyiphi imivuzo esenokufumaneka ngokuxelisa umzekelo wakhe?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 19]
Kutheni kuyinto enzulu kangaka ukuvuma xa ubani ecel’ umtshato?
[Umfanekiso okwiphepha 21]
Abafazi banokufunda ntoni kumzekelo wabantu ekuthethwa ngabo eBhayibhileni njengoAbhigali?