Kwabantwana—Ingabe Kumelwe Linqunywe Inkolo?
UKARON “unothando ngabantwana futhi uzama ukubalungiselela kahle. Nokho, izinkolelo zakhe njengoFakazi kaJehova ziza kuqala, futhi ngezenzo zakhe nangezinkolelo ubeka engozini impilo, inhlalakahle nezithakazelo ezingcono kakhulu zabantwana.”
Lokhu kukhulumela kwejaji lenkantolo yesifunda kwashaya uKaron njengonyazi. Kwakusho ukuthi wayelahlekelwe yilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana bakhe ababili abasebancane—omunye owusana olunezinyanga eziyi-11 ubudala. Indoda yakhe, leyo ngaphambili eyayikhulume ngokubhingqa, “Kuzokhala isicathulo soFakazi BakaJehova noma esami!” manje yayisinelungelo lokuhlala nabantwana. UKaron wayengawabona amadodakazi akhe kuphela njalo ngemva kwempelasonto eyodwa.
“Ummeli wami wayengiqinisekise ngokuthi ngangingeke ngephucwe abantwana bami ngenxa yenkolo yami kodwa ngenxa yokuba ngibonakaliswe ngingumama ongafanelekile,” kwachaza uKaron, inkosikazi yekhaya ezweni laseMissouri eUnited States. “Ngangidumazekile.” Futhi akumangalisi, njengoba ubufakazi obungenakuphikiswa babunikeziwe enkantolo ukuthi wayengumama onothando ‘njalo owayechitha isikhathi sakhe esibalulekile namadodakazi akhe.’
Ukuze avakashele amadodakazi akhe, uKaron manje kwakumelwe aye edolobheni eliqhele ngamakhilomitha ayi-160. “Isikhathi ngasinye engangivakashe ngaso, abazali bomyeni wami wesikhathi esidlule, ababegcine amadodakazi, babewadonsa ngokoqobo bewasusa emilenzeni yami ukuze ngihambe,” kukhumbula uKaron. “Ayekhahlela futhi ekhala, ‘Kungani singenakuya nawe ekhaya?’ Kwakunezikhathi lapho kwakudingeka ngime eceleni komgwaqo endleleni eya ekhaya ngenxa yezinyembezi futhi ngithandazele ukuba uJehova anginike amandla.” UKaron wamangala enkantolo ephakeme.
Esinqumweni avumelana ngaso, amajaji ayisithupha aseNkantolo Ephakeme yaseMissouri abuyisela amadodakazi akhe kuye. Ijaji elibukeza izinqumo uJohn Bardgett laveza “ukukholelwa okuqinile kokuthi inkantolo yamacala yayinephutha” ngokuphetha “ngokuthi amalungu enkolo yoFakazi BakaJehova, njengeqembu nangenxa yezinkolelo zaleyonkolo, awakufanelekele ukuthola ilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana.”a
Ezinye izinkantolo ezincane eAustralia, eFederal Republic yaseJalimane, eJapane, eNingizimu Afrika, nakwamanye amazwe nazo ziye zanqabela abazali ukuba babe nelungelo lokuhlala nabantwana ngenxa yezinkolelo zabo. Nakuba eziningi zalezinqumo ziye zahlehliswa yizinkantolo eziphakeme, ukungalungi okunjalo kuye kwaqhubeka.
Abazali abanganikwanga ilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana nabo baye baba yizisulu zobandlululo olungokwenkolo. Elinye ijaji lenkantolo encane yaseMassachusetts laze ladlulela ngisho nasekushayeni umthetho wokuthi ubaba phakathi nokuvakasha “kwakungamelwe afunde iBhayibheli nabantwana noma abayise ezinkonzweni zesonto (noma ngisho nokubasholo iMithetho Eyishumi).”b Enye intatheli yaphawula: “Indaba isiyonke ingase ibonakale kuwe ihlekisa—ngaphandle-ke uma izinkolelo ezihilelekile zingezakho.”
Yebo, kuthiwani uma bekuyizinkolelo zakho? Ukuhileleka kokwahlulela kwenkantolo izibopho zomzali ezingokwenkolo kuyethusa. “Abanye abangenandaba noFakazi BakaJehova basazibuza ukuthi inkantolo inawo yini umthwalo wemfanelo wokutshela ubaba ukuthi akanakusho iMithetho Eyishumi noma afundele abantwana bakhe iBhayibheli,” kwasho iLos Angeles Times.
Umbuzo lokhu okuwuphakamisayo uwukuthi, UHulumeni kumelwe azihilele ngezinga elingakanani ezindabeni zangasese zezakhamuzi zawo? Eqinisweni, omunye umkhulumeli womthetho waxwayisa ngokuthi imikhuba enjalo ‘ingagcinela ekumisweni kwezimiso ezingokomthetho maqondana nokukhuliswa kwabantwana bobuOrthodox kuyo yonke imikhaya.’ Ingabe ubungafuna ijaji, mhlawumbe lenkolo ehlukile ukuba likwenzele isinqumo kulokhu?
Inkantolo Nenkolo
Izinkantolo ngokwazo ziye zakuqaphela ukungafaneleki kahle kokucwaninga okungokomthetho izinkolelo ezingokwenkolo nemikhuba. Ephawula ngelinye icala, iJaji uJeffers weNkantolo Ephakame yeZwe laseWashington wachaza: “Asilingabazi ilungelo likaHulumeni lokucindezela imikhuba engokwenkolo eyingozi ekuziphatheni, nokucatshangwa ukuthi futhi ilwisana nokulondeka komphakathi, impilo nokuhleleka okuhle, kodwa ngokwalokho okuvezwa ubufakazi kulelicala kuze kube manje, izimfundiso zoFakazi BakaJehova ngokombono wethu, ngeke zihlanganiswe nanoma yiziphi zalezingxenye.”c
Ngakho, lapho imikhuba engokwenkolo ingakulimazi “ukulondeka komphakathi, impilo nokuhleleka okuhle” noma singekho “isiphetho esisekelwe emaqinisweni sokuthi inhlalakahle yesikhashana yomntwana ngokushesha nangezinga eliphakeme ibekwa engozini umkhuba ongokwenkolo,” khona-ke ngokufanelekile inkantolo akumelwe ivune inkolo yomunye umzali. INkantolo Yezikhalo yaseOntario, eCanada, ngamafuphi yathi: “Akukhona okweNkantolo ukunquma phakathi kwezinkolo ezimbili.” Ukwenqaba nelungelo lokuhlala nabantwana ngenxa yokukhetha okunjalo “kuyisijeziso esinzima [ngomzali] okumelwe asithwale ngenxa yenkolelo engokwenkolo, engekho emthethweni noma yokuziphatha okubi.”d
Ngezinye izikhathi, “ochwepheshe” abanobandlululo olungokwenkolo baye babonisa ukukhetha. Cabangela ubufakazi besinye isazi sengqondo: “Ngithi akunampilo ukuba lomntwana akhuliswe njengoFakazi KaJehova . . . Njengoba ephila kulomphakathi, kudingeka azivumelanise nempucuko kawonk’ uwonke. Uyakhula futhi akulona izwe loFakazi BakaJehova. Ukuba abaningi bezwe bebengoFakazi, besingeke sibe nankinga.”
Ukuba iseluleko esinjalo besilandelwa, bekuyosho ukuthi noma yimuphi umzali wenkolo yabambalwa kumelwe anganikwa ilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana bakhe! Kuyashaqisa ukuthi amanye amajaji endaweni yaseFlorida ashukunyiswa yibo kanye lobufakazi ukuba anqabele omunye umama ukuba ahlale nendodakazi yakhe eneminyaka emine naphezu kobufakazi obungenakuphikiswa bokuthi intombazane “yayisondelene kakhulu nomama wayo.”
Ngokuqondakalayo, iJaji uBaskin lenqaba ukusayina lesinqumo esingalungile esasifinyelelwe amanye amajaji amabili eNkantolo Yezikhalo Yesigodi YaseFlorida (Isigodi Sesithathu). Ijaji uBaskin lachaza: “Okuvelayo embhalweni ogciniwe ukubonakaliswa kobandlululo lomuntu siqu lochwepheshe ngokumelene nenkolo kamama. Ukungayihloniphi inkolo kamama kwababangela ukuba baphethe ngokuthi kungenzeka umntwana aphatheke kabi esikhathini esizayo ngisho nakuba kwakungekho bufakazi bokuphatheka kabi obabukhona. Ngokusobala inkantolo yamacala yashukunyiswa yizinqumo zayo ezingalungile . . . futhi isinqumo sayo akumelwe siqhubeke sikhona.”e
Lokho lenkantolo eyakwenza eUnited States kufana nalokho okwenziwa ezweni lobushiqela phakathi nokubusa kukaHitler. Ngo-1937 inkantolo yesigodi eJalimane lamaNazi yasusa abantwana emkhayeni wenkolo yabambalwa. Lokhu kwabonakaliswa kanjani kulungile? Inkantolo yathi: “Uma abazali ngesibonelo sabo befundisa abantwana babo umqondo wokuphila obabeka esimweni sokuphikisana ngokuqinile nemiqondo inani elikhulu labantu baseJalimane elinamathela kuyo, khona-ke lokhu kuwukusetshenziswa kabi kwelungelo lokukhulisa umntwana . . . [ngakho] ithonya elibi lokufundisa labazali [kumelwe] liqedwe futhi linqanyulwe.”f
Abantwana Bayaphumelela
Ingabe abantwana bayalinyazwa ngokwengqondo ngokuhlanganyela neqembu labambalwa? Endabeni kaKaron, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, ijaji elithetha amacala lathi ‘intuthuko yamadodakazi akhe njengezakhamuzi ezikhiqizayo’ kanye ‘nokufanelana nesikole nomphakathi’ kuyovinjelwa ukuba akhuliselwe enkolweni yabambalwa kamama wawo. Ingabe laliqinisile? Cabangela isimo manje eminyakeni eyishumi kamuva.
Amakhadi ombiko wesikole walamantombazane, manje angoFakazi abakhuthele, anombiko ocacile. Ikhadi likaMonica oneminyaka eyishumi nanye ubudala, elalinamamaki aphakeme ezifundo, labika ukuthi ‘Intuthuko Yakhe Siqu Neyokuhlalisana Nabantu’ ‘yayanelisa.’ Uthisha wakhe wabhala ekhadini: “UMonica uyathandeka futhi uthembeke ngempela. Ngiyajabula ngokuthi usekilasini lami.” Enye indodakazi kaKaron, uShelly oneminyaka eyi-13 ubudala, wathola umklomelo kumongameli waseUnited States ngenxa “yeNtuthuko Engokwemfundo Ephawulekayo.” Futhi wakhethwa ‘njengesakhamuzi Senyanga’ ngenxa ‘yobudlelwano bakhe obuhle nothisha nabafundi, kanye nemikhuba emihle yokutadisha.’ Ingabe bazwakala bengabantwana abangahlelekile?
Ukumelela izinkolelo zakho kwakha isimilo esihle nomqondo oqinile. UMphathi oyiJaji uStruckmeyer weNkantolo Ephakeme yase-Arizona, kwelinye icala elihilela uFakazi, waphawula: “Siqaphela ukuthi ukwehluka kokuvamile ngokuvamile kuletha ukuhlekwa nokugxekwa. . . . Ukugxekwa kuyinto evivinya umuntu ngokunamandla. Ukuvumelana neningi kukhinyabeza amandla okucabanga.”g
Ngempela, abantwana abaqeqeshwa kusukela besebancane ukuba banikeze izizathu ngezinkolelo zabo bafunda ukusebenzisa imiqondo yabo. Kunokuba ‘kukhinyabeze amandla abo okucabanga,’ lokhu kuqeqeshwa kuzuzisa kakhulu, njengoba kuboniswe yimiphumela emangalisayo yokuhlolwa kwabaneminyaka eyi-12 ubudala abangama-394. “Inani eliphakeme ngokungenakuqhathaniswa labantwana abanekhono lokusungula ngezinga eliphakeme lalingoFakazi BakaJehova,” kwembula abacwaningi baseAustralia. “Intombazane eyazuza ingqikithi yamamaki aphakeme kakhulu [ngamandla okusungula] ezivivinyweni, kanye nentombazane okwaba yiyo kuphela, kudidiyelwe abafana namantombazane, eyafakwa ohlwini lwabazuza amaphesenti angama-20 kuyo yonke imisebenzi emihlanu, omabili ayengoFakazi BakaJehova.”—Journal of Personality, March 1973.
Yizinkolelo zabo ezingokwenkolo ezenza abazali abangoFakazi BakaJehova bathathe ngokungathi sína isidingo “sokuthanda abantwana babo” nokukhuthaza izindinganiso eziphakeme zokuziphatha. (Thithu 2:4, 5) Izinkantolo eziningi ziye zakuqaphela ukunakekela okuhle okunjalo. Ngokwesibonelo, ecaleni lelungelo lokuhlala nabantwana ngo-1986 eMuscatine, eIowa, eU.S.A., omunye ubaba kanye nokuthiwa uchwepheshe ababizelwa ukuba banikeze ubufakazi baqala ukunyundela inkolo kamama onguFakazi. Ijaji uBriles laqhubeka lingongakhethi, lithi: “INkantolo ayinakuthatha-hlangothi.”
Nakuba iJaji uBriles lanikeza ubaba ilungelo lokuvakasha ngokukhululekile, lanikeza umama ilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana ngenxa yokuthi, njengoba asho: “INkantolo iyaneliseka ngokuthi labantwana bayokhula bengabajabulayo uma beshiywa [nomama], ngisho nakuba inkolo yakhe ingase ibonakale ingahambisani nezinkolo ezinkulu zaseMelika. Futhi iNkantolo iyaneliseka ngokuthi ukususa labantwana othandweni, ekulondekeni nasekunakekelweni okuhle okuqhubekayo kuyolimaza izithakazelo ezingcono kakhulu zabantwana.” Lesinqumo samukelwa yiNkantolo Yezikhalo yaseIowa.h
Ingabe Ukungafani Okungokwenkolo Kuyabadida Abantwana?
Kwenye impikiswano yelungelo lokuhlala nabantwana, okuhlangenwe nakho kukaJulie kuvumelana nokuhlakanipha kwesinqumo esingenhla. UJulie walondoloza ukuxhumana nabo bobabili abazali, abadivosa lapho eneminyaka eyisithupha. Manje eneminyaka engama-20 uyachaza: “Nginomuzwa wokuthi kwakuyinzuzo enhle. Ngazibonela ngokwami umehluko phakathi kobuKatolika noFakazi. Mina nomfowethu sasiya eHholo LoMbuso noMama, kodwa ngamaSonto sasiya eSontweni noBaba ngenxa yokuthi sasichitha izimpela-sonto sinaye.”
Ngisho nakuba bengavikelekile emibonweni engokwenkolo engqubuzanayo, abantwana abanjalo kuye kwatholakala ukuthi bahlangabezana nemiphumela emibi embalwa, uma ikhona. Ukuhlola okwenziwa umcwaningi waseCanada uJames Frideres kwaphetha ngalendlela: “Mncane umehluko obonakalayo phakathi kwabantwana abazalwa abazali abanezizinda ezingafani nalezo ezifanayo [ngokwenkolo]. Ukwaziswa okuye kwatholakala maqondana naleliphuzu akuvumelani nokuhlola kwesikhathi esidlule okwasikisela ukuthi abantwana babazali abanezizinda ezihlukene babeyoguquguquka ‘ngokwengqondo.’”—Jewish Social Studies, 1973.
Umntwana unelungelo lokuqonda imibono engokwenkolo yabazali bobabili. Lapho esekhulile, angase enze ukukhetha kwakhe siqu. Endabeni kaJulie, inkantolo yalondoloza isimo sayo esifanelekile sokungathathi-hlangothi ngokuqondene nenkolo futhi yagxilisa ukunakekela kwayo ezithakazelweni ezingcono kakhulu zomntwana. Izinkantolo zahlulela ngokulunga lapho zivumela bobabili abazali ukuba baqondise abantwana futhi ekugcineni benze isinqumo sabo siqu ezindabeni ezingokwenkolo. Yeka ukuthi bekungaba kuhle kanjani uma izinkantolo bezingalondoloza lesimo!
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Waites v. Waites, 567 S.W.2d 326 (Mo. 1978).
b Felton v. Felton, 383 Mass. 232, 418 N.E.2d 606 (1981)
c Stone v. Stone, 16 Wash. 2d 315, 133 P.2d 526 (1943).
d Osier v. Osier, 410 A.2d 1027 (Me. 1980); In re Custody of Infants Bennett, (1952) 3 D.L.R. 699 (Ont. Ct. App.); Quiner v. Quiner, 59 Cal. Rptr. 503 (Ct. App. 1967).
e Mendez v. Mendez, 85-2807 (Fla. Dist. Ct. App. April 28, 1987).
f District Court, Waldenburg, Silesia, September 2, 1937. (VIII, 195) Kuthathwe kuyi Deutsche Justiz (Official Gazette of the German Administration of Law) November 26, 1937.
g Smith v. Smith, 90 Ariz. 190, 367 P.2d 230 (1961).
h In re Deierling No. 36651, (Scott County Dist. Ct. Nov. 12, 1986), affirmed, 421 N.W.2d 168 (Iowa Ct. App. 1988).
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 7]
Ingabe Izinkolelo ZoFakazi BakaJehova Ziyingozi?—Umthetho Uyakhuluma
■ “Ebufakazini asikho isisekelo sokuphetha ngokuthi indlela engokwenkolo yokukhulisa abantwana ababili [enkolweni] yoFakazi BakaJehova iye yabonakala iyingozi empilweni yabo noma esimweni esingokomzwelo.”—Koerner v. Koerner, No. 002793 (Conn. Superior Court, October 2, 1979).
■ “Angiboni ukuthi bayophatheka kabi ngokuba nobaba wabo enkonzweni yakhe yasensimini. . . . Angikwazanga ukuthola ubufakazi kulendaba obungenza ngikholelwe ukuthi uFakazi kaJehova, ngesenzo senkolo yakhe, uthambekela ekucekeleni phansi ukuhleleka kwethu kwezenhlalo.”—Evers v. Evers, 19 F.L.R. 296 (Supreme Court of New South Wales, Australia, 1972).
■ “Ukugodlela uNkk. Ayers ilungelo lokuhlala nabantwana . . . kungafana nokuthola ukuthi indlela yokuphila eyamukelwa abangebona oFakazi BakaJehova ingcono kuneyoFakazi BakaJehova; ukuthi oFakazi BakaJehova akubona abazali abafanelekile. Ukusikisela okunjalo kuwubuwula obusobala futhi bekungaba ukuphucwa inkululeko engokwenkolo okungenakubekezelelwa.”—Ayers v. Ayers, (Provincial Court of British Columbia, Canada, Family Division, April 8, 1986).
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 9]
Ingabe Abantwana Bancishwa Okuthile?
EQuebec, eCanada, omunye ubaba wathi abantwana bakhe babencishwa okuthile futhi bephathwa kabi ngokomzwelo yizinkolelo zomkakhe wesikhathi esidlule, owayenguFakazi. Wacela inkantolo ukuba ingenele. Kwadingeka ukuba abantwana bafakaze. Phawula izimpendulo zendodakazi yakhe eneminyaka eyi-16 ubudala:
U.: Hlobo luni lokuphila oluphilayo njengoFakazi?
I.: Ngicabanga ukuba ngiphila ukuphila okufanayo nokwabo bonke abeve eshumini elinambili. Angincishwa lutho. Angiziboni ngihlukile kunanoma ubani omunye.
U.: Yini oyitholayo kuleyomihlangano eHholo LoMbuso?
I.: Okokuqala ngqá, inginikeza injongo ekuphileni. Ngiyazi ukuthi kumelwe ngilisekele kukuphi ikusasa lami ngokuvumelana nezinkolelo zami. Okwesibili, nginabangane abaningi lapho, engingazihlanganisa nabo.
U.: Ingabe imihlangano yenu iyakusiza esikoleni?
I.: Yebo, ngoba emihlanganweni yethu sinikeza izinkulumo zemizuzu emihlanu phambi kwabantu. Esikoleni lapho sinezinkulumo okumelwe sizinikeze ngomlomo, abaningi babafundi bayesaba kakhulu. Kodwa ngenxa yokuthi kakade ngiyazinikeza izinkulumo, nginolwazi oluthile.
“Uyini umphumela womkhuba ongokwenkolo onjalo?” kwabuza ijaji lapho lenza isinqumo. “Inkantolo yathola izinto ezakhayo ngokuphambene nobufakazi [ubaba] ayefuna ukubuveza ekuphikiseni kwakhe.” Ngemva kokuba umama onguFakazi ephumelele ecaleni, ijaji ngasese lathi kubo bobabili abameli, “ngifisa sengathi ngabe nginabantwana abanjengalabaya!”
[Isithombe ekhasini 8]
Ngenxa yenkolo yakhe uKaron, ekuqaleni akanikwanga ilungelo lokuhlala namadodakazi akhe amabili