Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Yini Okumelwe Ngiyenze Uma Abantu Behleba Ngami?

“AMAPHESENTI angamashumi ayisishiyagalolunye nanhlanu abantu esikoleni esiphakeme engifunda kuso ayahleba,” kusho omunye umfundi owenza unyaka wesibili esikoleni esiphakeme (esiyisekhondari) saseNew York. Yisiphi isihloko esiphambili sokuhleba? “Abanye abafundi: ubuntu babo, indlela ababukeka ngayo, ubani uthanda bani, nalokho abakushoyo ngomunye nomunye.”—Umagazini iSeventeen, kaJuly 1983.

Nokho, ngokuvamile, ukuhleba kuthambekele kokuphambene futhi kuphumela ekulimaleni okungathi sína kwedumela labanye.a Futhi njengoba ukuhleba kwenziwa kakhulu kangaka endaweni yonke phakathi kwentsha ngisho nabadala, kunethuba elikhulu lokuthi nawe ngokwakho uyisisulu (noma ngelinye ilanga uyokuba yiso) sokuhleba okulimazayo. Uma kunjalo, yini ongayenza? Ingabe ikhona indlela ethile yokuqeda ukuhleba okulimazayo?

Ubuhlungu Bokuhleba

Akungabazeki: Kuyalimaza ngempela lapho ukwaziswa komuntu siqu kuhletshelwa abanye noma lapho uyisisulu samahlebezi angelona iqiniso. Imizwa yokuthukuthela nokuphindisela ingase ihambisane nezikhathi zokukhathazeka nokucindezeleka. “Kukwenza uzizwe njengokungathi ufuna ukulimaza umuntu,” kwasho esinye isisulu sokuhletshwa. Omunye wathi: “Uzizwa ulimele; kufana nokugwazwa emhlane. Kungakwenza uzizwe njengokungathi awusafuni neze ukuphinde ukhulume nabo. Ithemba lakho lishabalele, futhi awukwazi ukuyeka ukucabanga ngalenkinga.”

Ngempela, ukuhleba kuye kwabangela intsha eningi ukuba idumazeke cishe ngokuphelele. Enye intombazane esencane yagudlukela kwesinye isikole kunokuba ibhekane nentsha eyahlanganyela ekusakazeni amahlebezi angathandeki ngayo. Nokho, akuyona impindiselo, ukuthukuthela, noma ukudumazeka okukhubazayo okwenza isimo sibe ngcono. Kunezindlela eziphumelela ngokwengeziwe zokubhekana nezinkulumo eziphambene.

Gwema Ukusabela Ngamawala!

Ngaphambi kokuba wenze noma yini, khumbula: “Isififane siyenza ubuwula.” (IzAga 14:17) Aquketheni lamazwi? Ungasabeli ngamawala! Izenzo zokuphamazela ngokuvamile zidala izinkinga ezengeziwe kunokuba zizixazulule. IBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Ungasheshi ukuthukuthela emoyeni wakho, ngokuba ulaka luhlala ezifubeni zeziwula.” Kungani? Phakathi kokunye, umane nje awunakubayekisa abantu ukukhuluma ngabanye abantu. Ukuba kukhulunywe ngawe kumane kuyingxenye yokuphila. USolomoni weluleka ngokuqhubekayo: “Ungabeki inhliziyo yakho emazwini onke akhulunywayo . . . ngokuba kaninginingi inhliziyo yakho iyazi ukuba nawe ubathukile abanye.”—UmShumayeli 7:9, 21, 22.

USolomoni wayengathetheleli ukuhleba okubi. Wayemane nje ekuqaphela njengeqiniso lokuphila kwabantu. Njengoba nje ungase ungakuthandi ukuba kukhulunywe ngawe, ingabe akulona iqiniso ukuthi cishe uye washo izinto ngabanye obekuyoba ngcono kakhulu ukuba azikhulunywanga?

Encwadini yakhe ethi Gossip, uPatricia Meyer Spacks waphawula: “Okuvame kakhulu ukuhleba okungaveli enzondweni ehlosiwe kodwa . . . okuvela ekungacabangini . . . Kuvela esifisweni esingacatshangelwanga sokusho okuthile ungazindlanga ngokujulile. Ngaphandle kwenhloso izinhlebi zishintshana ngamazwi namahemuhemu ngabanye abantu.” Ukuqaphela lokhu kungakusiza ukuba udambise ukuthukuthela kwakho.

Amasu Okubhekana Nokuhleba

IzAga 14:15 zithi “oqondileyo uyaqaphela ukunyathela kwakhe.” Lokhu kuyosho ukunquma ngesineke amasu okubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nokuhleba.

Ungase uqale ngokucabangela indlela okungathi sína ngayo ukuhleba. Mhlawumbe indaba esakazwayo ngawe, nakuba idumaza futhi ingelona ngisho neqiniso, ihlekisa ngokoqobo futhi ngempela ayilingcolisi idumela lakho. Ngamanye amazwi, ubungathanda ukuba izwe lingazi ngokuzikhiyela kwakho ngaphandle kwendlu yakho ngesikhathi sesiphepho semvula noma ngokudabula isikhindi sakho ngesikhathi uvivinya umzimba, kodwa manje ukuthi indaba isiyaziwa, ingabe ngempela sekuyinhlekelele engako? Mhlawumbe indlela engcono kakhulu yokuqeda amahlebezi ukuzihlekela.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma amahlebezi engajabulisi noma ecasula ngempela? Ingabe kungenzeka ngempela ukuba abangele ukulimala okuhlala njalo edumeleni lakho—noma ingabe azophela ngokushesha? Uma lokhu kwamuva kuyiqiniso, kungase kube okungcono kakhulu ukumane ukhohlwe. Ukugcina isimo ‘singesivamile’—kunokuba uhlale uqumbile noma ubonakale unomuzwa wecala—okungenani kuyovimbela ukubhebhethekisa kwakho amahlebezi. IzAga 26:20 zithi: “Ngokuphela kwezinkuni umlilo uyacimeka, nalapho kungekho abancethezi, kuyabodla ukuxabana.”

Nokho, ngezinye izikhathi indaba ingengathi sína ukuba ingayekwa. UJesu weluleka abalandeli bakhe ngalokho okwakumelwe bakwenze lapho omunye enze isono somuntu siqu njengokunyundela: “Hamba umsole ninodwa naye.” (Mathewu 18:15) Khona-ke kungenzeka ukulandelela umthombo wenkulumo eyingozi futhi ngesineke nilungise izindaba nomuntu oyimbangela yokuqalisa amahlebezi.

Yiqiniso, lowomuntu angase angabi umKristu. Kodwa uma wazi ukuthi lowomuntu unengqondo, mhlawumbe uyosabela kahle. Kungase kutholakale ukuthi yonke lendaba iwumphumela wokungaqondi okuthile okungathi sína. Uma ubutha buyimbangela, mhlawumbe indaba ingalungiswa phakathi kwenu.

Nokho, ngokuvamile, kunzima kakhulu ukuthola imbangela yamahlebezi. Futhi ngisho nakuba ungayithola, onecala angase angabuvumi ubuwula bakhe. Bese wenze njani? Khumbula ukuthi uJesu Kristu wayeyisisulu ‘sezinkulumo eziphambene.’ (Heberu 12:3, NW) Nokho, uJesu akazange acasuke kangangokuba aze ashiye umsebenzi wakhe wokushumayela futhi akhankasele ukufuna umuntu oqalise lenkulumo engeyinhle. Kunalokho, wathi: “Ukuhlakanipha kubonakaliswa ngemisebenzi yakho emihle.”—Mathewu 11:19, NW.

UJesu wayazi ukuthi labo ababengabandlululi babeyobona imisebenzi yakhe emihle futhi baphethe ngokuthi inkulumo elimazayo yayingenasisekelo. Ngokufanayo, yenza ukuziphatha kwakho kube isivikelo sakho esingcono kakhulu ngokumelene nokuhletshwa. Njengoba abangane bakho bangempela belazi iqiniso ngawe, abanakuzikholelwa izindaba ezingelona iqiniso. Futhi ungabenza bazi ukuthi kunamanga asakazwayo ngawe. Ngokuvamile bangenza okuningi ukukusiza ukuba bathulise amahlebezi ngokuqondisa noma ibaphi abaziswe kabi abahlangana nabo.

Kodwa kuthiwani uma kakade indaba isiye yasakazwa kabanzi? Ngokuvamile akukubi ngempela njengoba ungase ucabange. Ngaphandle kwalokho, abantu abakhulumi njalo nganoma isiphi isimo. Ngaso sonke isikhathi kunezenzakalo eziningi ekuphileni ngokushesha noma kamuva eziyosusa ukunaka kuwe. Nokho, okwamanje ungathuli nokukhathazeka kwakho. Kungani ungahlanganyeli imizwa yakho nomzali noma omunye umuntu omdala ovuthiwe? Izikhathi eziningi, ukukhuluma kuyasiza ekuqondiseni inkinga.

Ukufunda Kokuhlangenwe Nakho

Ukuba isisulu sokuhleba kunikeza futhi amathuba okufunda izifundo ezithile eziwusizo. Ngokwesibonelo, lapho ube nokuhlangenwe nakho komuntu siqu ngendlela inkulumo ebudedengu engalimaza ngayo, kungani unganqumi ukuba ungabi nakancane umhlanganyeli wokusakaza amahemuhemu?

Okuhlangenwe nakho kokuhletshwa kungenzeka kuye kwembula amaphutha ebuntwini bakho, njengokuthambekela kokufuna ukuphindisela. Noma kungase kube ukuthi ukuqhosha kuye kwazibonakalisa kuyinkinga enkulu kunamahlebezi ngokwawo. Ukuzikhathalela okungafanele ngokubonakala kwakho kungenzeka kuye kwakubangela ukuba ‘uzicabangele kakhulu kunalokho ofanele ukukucabanga.’ (Roma 12:3) Manje kungaba yisikhathi sokuba uqale ukusebenzela ekwehliseni ukuzicabangela ngokweqile.

Ngokubheka emuva, ungase futhi uqaphele ukuthi ukwahlulela okungaqondile ngasengxenyeni yakho kuhlanganyele ekusakazweni kwamahemuhemu. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe uye wembula imicabango yakho ejulile kosemusha onedumela lokukhamisa izindebe zakhe’? (IzAga 13:3) Khona-ke ngesikhathi esizayo mhlawumbe uyokhetha umngane wakho wesifuba ngokunakekela okuthe xaxa. Uyonakekela futhi ukuba uziphathe ngendlela engasolisi ukuze unganikezi abanye noma iyiphi intuba yokuhleba.—Qhathanisa no-1 Petru 2:15.

Yebo, lungisa izindaba ngesineke nangomusa, futhi ungawathoba amahemuhemu obulima—futhi mhlawumbe uze ngisho uwaqede.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 22]

Ngezinye izikhathi kungenzeka ukulandelela umthombo wamahemuhemu futhi ibe nengxoxo yobuso nobuso nenhlebi