Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ukuphila Ukuphila Okumbaxa-mbili—Kungani Kungafanele?

“Ngangiphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili—okunye nabangane bami abangamaKristu nokunye nabangane bami basesikoleni.”

Isimo sowesifazane osemusha ocashunwe ngenhla sijwayelekile. Kodwa kusho ukuthini “ukuphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili”? URuth Bell, umbhali wencwadi ethi Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, wachaza lomkhuba ngokuthi “yinoma yini oyenzayo kodwa ongabatsheli ngayo abazali bakho.”

Lombhali waxoxa nentsha eningi futhi wabika: “Abaningi abevé eshumini nambili bathi babenezinto ezaziqhubeka ekuphileni kwabo kodwa ababengenakuxoxa ngazo nabazali babo. Izici ezazivame ukufihlwa zazingubulili nezidakamizwa nokuphuza, kodwa lentsha yabala nezinto ezinjengokwephuza ukufika ekhaya, ukuphola nabafokazi, ukumane nje uphuthe esikoleni, ukulwa, nokuzulazula nabangane abangathandwa abazali bayo.”

Ngokudabukisayo, ngisho nenye intsha ekhuliswa abazali abangamaKristu iyakufihla lokho eyikho kubazali bayo nakwabanye.a (Qhathanisa neHubo 26:4.) Phakathi kwabazali nabanye ekholwa nabo, lentsha ibonakala iqotho futhi imesaba uNkulunkulu. Kodwa lapho ingekho ngaphansi kweso elibukhali kanjalo, iziphatha njengokungathi ingabantu abahluke ngokuphelele.

Empeleni yini eshukumisa intsha ukuba iphile ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili?

Ugibe Lokufuna Ukuzibusa

IBhayibheli lithi ekugcineni “indoda iyakushiya uyise nonina.” (Genesise 2:24) Khona-ke, kumane nje kungokwemvelo ngawe ukuba ufune ukukhula, ukuzicabangela, ukwenza izinqumo zakho siqu. Inkinga iwukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi awukakakulungeli ukuba umuntu omdala. Njengoba untula okuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni, usadinga ukusekela kwabazali abesaba uNkulunkulu.—IzAga 1:8.

Intsha eningi yenqaba ngokuqondile ukulamukela leliqiniso. Ngokwencwadi ethi How to Survive Your Child’s Rebellious Teens, intsha eningi ifuna ‘ukubonakalisa amandla ayo okuvuthwa, ukuvivinya amandla ayo amasha, nokubonisa ukuzibusa kwayo.’ Lapho abazali benqaba ukuyivumela ukuba yenze izinto abacabanga ukuthi ziwubuwula—noma azilungile—enye intsha iyabavukela. Futhi ingase ingazisoli ngalokhu kungahloniphi. Enye intombazane eyevé eshumini nambili ithi: “Ngiyajabula ngokwenza izinto [abazali bami] abangazi ukuthi ngiyazenza ngoba kungenza ngizizwe ngibalulekile. Ngiphila ukuphila okungefani nokwabo futhi angicabangi ukuthi bayakuqaphela nokukuqaphela. . . . Ngeke bayikholelwe ngisho ingxenye yalokho engikwenzayo.”

‘Abazali Bami Banesandla Esiqine Kakhulu’

Nokho, kungani ngisho nenye intsha ekhuliswa kahle ngobuKristu ihileleka ekwenzeni okungalungile ngasesithe? Lapho i-Phaphama! ibhekisa lombuzo eqenjini elithile lentsha, enye intombazane eyevé eshumini nambili yaphendula: “Ibathukuthelele abazali bayo. Ifuna ukuziphindiselela ngoba bayibekele imingcele.” Akungabazeki ukuthi ubuKristu buyindlela yokuphila enemingcele. UJesu wathi: “Isango lincane nendlela iyingcingo eyisa ekuphileni.” (Mathewu 7:14) Uma ufuna ukuthola isipho sikaNkulunkulu sokuphila okuphakade, ngeke uzenze ezinye zezinto ezibizwa ngokuthi ukuzijabulisa lezo enye intsha ezenzayo. Ngokwesibonelo, imibuthano yokuzilibazisa engalawuliwe, ukuncintisana ngokudakwa, ubulili bangaphambi komshado, ukuziphatha okuxekethile, konke kuyizinto ezilahlwayo eBhayibhelini.—Galathiya 5:19-21.

Bese kuba khona iqiniso lokuthi abanye abazali bangase babonakale benesandla esiqine ngokungajwayelekile. “Asizibuki izithombe zebhayisikobho,” kukhononda enye intombazanyana egama layo linguKim. “Futhi ngasinciphisa kakhulu isikhathi engangisichitha ngilalele umculo, futhi ngazama ukuba okhethayo. Kodwa ubaba usesenqabele nokulalela cishe yonke inhlobo yomculo! Singalalela kuphela amarekhodi e-classic nawe-jazz.” Njengoba ibhekene nalokho ekubheka njengemingcele engenangqondo, enye intsha iqala ukuzizwa ifisa inkululeko ejatshulelwa ontanga bayo.

Isifiso Sokwamukeleka

Owesifazane osemusha ogama lakhe linguTammy uyakhumbula: “Ngaqala ngokusebenzisa inkulumo engcolile esikoleni. Kwangenza ngazizwa ngifana kakhulu nezinye izingane. Kamuva ngazama ukubhema. Futhi ngangiphuza utshwala ngize ngidakwe. Khona-ke ngaqala ukuba namasoka—ngasese ngoba abazali bami babenesandla esiqinile futhi babengangivumeli ukuba ngiphole.”

Umfana owevé eshumini nambili ogama lakhe linguPete waba nokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo: “Ngakhuliswa njengomunye woFakazi bakaJehova. Kodwa ngangikwesaba kakhulu ukugconwa, ngakho njalo ngangizama ukuba phakathi kweqembu elithandwayo. Ngazama ukuba isilomo. Ngangiqamba amanga futhi ngenza izaba ngokuphathelene nokuthi kungani ngangingazitholi izipho phakathi namaholide angokwenkolo.”b Lapho uPete eqala ukuyekethisa kancane, ngokushesha wahileleka ngokwengeziwe ekuziphatheni okubi okungathi sína.

“Ukuzihlanganisa Nababi”—Kuphi?

Okuhlangenwe nakho okunjalo kugcizelela iqiniso lamazwi omphostoli ongumKristu uPawulu: “[Ukuzihlanganisa, NW] nababi konakalisa ukuziphatha okuhle.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Ngakho uma uzihlanganisa nentsha engazihloniphi izindinganiso nokuziphatha kwakho okusekelwe eBhayibhelini, ungadonseleka kalula esitayeleni sayo sokuphila. Nokho, ngokuthakazelisayo, lomphostoli wayengakhulumi ngokukhethekile ngokuphathelene nokuzihlanganisa nabangakholwayo lapho ekhipha lesosixwayiso. Wayexwayisa ngokuzihlanganisa nalabo abangaphakathi ebandleni lobuKristu abahlulekayo ukubambelela esifundisweni sobuKristu. (1 Korinte 15:12) Ngokufanayo nanamuhla, kungase kube khona intsha ezihlanganisa nebandla kodwa enganamatheli noma engakutusi ukuphila okufanele kobuKristu. Ingakucindezela ngobuqili ukuba uphile ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili.

Futhi, cabanga ngoTammy, ovumayo ukuthi abazali bakhe ‘banothando kakhulu.’ Uchaza uyise ngokuthi “cishe uchichima intshiseko, uhlala ekhuluma ngendlela uJehova asinakekela ngayo.” Ngisho nasebandleni ukhonza njengomdala. Khona-ke, kwenzeka kanjani ukuba adukiswe? Uthi: “Ukuzihlanganisa nababi ngaphakathi ebandleni. Abanye babengitshela ngenjabulo ababeba nayo emibuthanweni yokuzilibazisa ehlukahlukene nangokuphuza ababekwenza. Noma bakhulume ngamasoka abo nangendlela ababedansa ngayo ngemva kwemihlangano yebandla.”

Ukugwema Inhlekelele

Musa ukuthethelela ukuziphatha okubi okunjalo okwenziwa abasha ngokucabanga ukuthi, ‘Kumane nje kuyingxenye yokukhula,’ noma ‘Zonke izingane ziyabafihlela izinto abazali bazo.’ Phawula isixwayiso uNkulunkulu asinikeza abantu abasha kumShumayeli 11:9, 10: “Thokoza, nsizwa, ebusheni bakho, inhliziyo yakho ikuphe ukwenama emihleni yobunsizwa bakho, uhambe ngezindlela zenhliziyo yakho njengokubona kwamehlo akho, kepha yazi ukuthi ngakho konke lokho uNkulunkulu uyakukungenisa ekwahlulelweni. Khipha usizi enhiziyweni yakho, udlulise okubi emzimbeni wakho.”

Ukuphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili kungase kubonakale kujabulisa. Kodwa ekugcineni kuwugibe olubulalayo. (Qhathanisa neHubo 9:16.) Ngokungenakugwenywa, izenzo zokungalaleli ziholela ezenzweni ezingalungile ezingathi sína ngokwengeziwe. Ngokwesibonelo, uPete osemusha kakade wayesezitika ekuziphatheni okubi kobulili lapho ehamba kubo eneminyaka engu-17. Lapho eneminyaka engu-18, uPete wayeseke waboshelwa ukuphanga ehlome ngezikhali.

Ngokuvamile intsha eningi ibonakala ingasitholi isijeziso ngenxa yokuziphatha kwayo okubi. Kalula nje ungase uqale ukuzizwa njengomlobi weBhayibheli u-Asafa, owavuma: “Ngaba nomona . . . ngabona ukuthi izinto zibahambela kahle ababi. Abahlushwa ubuhlungu; banamandla futhi banempilo. Abahlupheki njengabanye abantu.” Kodwa lokho okwakubonakala kuwukulondeka kwababi kwakuwukukhohlisa okunonya. U-Asafa waphetha: “[UNkulunkulu] uyobabeka ezindaweni ezishelelayo futhi abenze bawele ekubhujisweni!” (IHubo 73:3-5, 18, Today’s English Version) Khona-ke, ngesizathu esihle iBhayibheli liyaxwayisa: “Inhliziyo yakho mayingabi-namhawu ngezoni, kepha mawube-sekumesabeni uJehova usuku lonke.”—IzAga 23:17.

Kuthiwani ngomqondo wokuthi ukungabalaleli abazali kusiza intsha ukuba ikhule futhi izibuse? Lokhu kuphikisana neseluleko seBhayibheli sokuba ulalele abazali bakho. (IzAga 23:22) Ngempela, ukuziphatha kobuwula noma kokungagqiz’ iqakala kuyomane nje kuthiye ukukhula kwakho ngokomzwelo nangokomoya. Kunalokho, kungokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli lapho uba ‘indoda ngokupheleleyo’ ube ‘sesilinganisweni sobukhulu sokugcwala kukaKristu.’—Efesu 4:13.

Yiqiniso, abanye abazali bangase babonakale benesandla esiqine ngokungenangqondo. Kodwa ingabe lokho akubangelwa yini uthando lwabo olujulile ngawe nesifiso sabo sokukuvikela? Ngakho uma unomuzwa wokuthi abazali bakho kudingeka bathi ukunciphisa imingcele kancane, kungani ungaxoxi nabo—kunokuba ubavukele ngasese?c Ukwenza lokhu kwamuva kuyoletha usizi olukhulu kubo, kuwe, futhi ngaphezu kwakho konke, nakuJehova uNkulunkulu.—IzAga 10:1; 27:11.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma kakade usuqalile ukuphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili? Ingabe ikhona indlela yokugqashuka kukho? Izihloko ezilandelayo ziyoxoxa ngalokhu.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Izithombe ekhasini 26]

Ingabe uphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili?