Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Kuthiwani Uma Ngithandana Nomuntu Ongakholwa?

“Nginenkinga,” kuvuma enye intombazane engumKristu. “Ngithathekile ngomakhelwane wami. Unomusa, unesizotha, futhi uyacabangela, kodwa kunento eyodwa angeyona—akamthandi uJehova. Ngiyazi akulungile ukuba ngimthande, kodwa angiqiniseki kahle ukuthi ngingayisingatha kanjani imizwa yami ngaye.”

UMark wayeneminyaka engu-14 ubudala lapho ezithola esesimweni esifanayo.a Wathatheka ngentombazane eyayingenazo izinkolelo ezingokwenkolo ezifana nezakhe. “Ngangihlala ngakha amaphupho ngokuthi kwakuyoba njani sesindawonye, sesishadile,” esho. “Kodwa ngangazi ukuthi akulungile.”

UKUTHATHEKA kujwayelekile eminyakeni yokweva eshumini nambili, lapho imizwa yothando inamandla khona. (Qhathanisa neyoku-1 Korinte 7:36.) Njengoba kungekho lapho ingayenelisa khona imizwa enjalo, intsha ithambekele ekuthathekeni ngothisha abayizilomo, abadlali, nabanye. Njengoba ngokuvamile ukuba nobuhlobo bomuntu siqu nalabobantu abadala kungenakwenzeka, lokhu kuthatheka ngokuvamile kuyadlula futhi akunangozi kangako.b Nokho, kuthiwani uma unemizwa enamandla ngontanga—othile ozimisele futhi ongaba nobuhlobo naye—kodwa lowomuntu ebe engenazo kwanhlobo izinkolelo ezifana nezakho?

Abanye bangase bangakubheki njengenkinga lokhu. Okokuqala nje, intsha eningi ayinasithakazelo enkolweni. Futhi ngisho naphakathi kwaleyo enaso, ukuphola nomuntu wenye inkolo kungase kungabhekwa njengokubi. Abantu abanesimo sengqondo sokuyekelela bangase bakuvumele nokukuvumela. Nokho, abantu abadala abaningi bayazibona izinkinga ezingabangelwa ubuhlobo obunjalo, ikakhulukazi ngoba buvame ukuphumela emshadweni. Ngakho umlobi u-Andrea Eagan ululeka intsha ngalendlela: “Ukuba nesizinda esingokwenkolo esifanayo akubalulekile uma nobabili ningenayo inkolo eniyilandelayo. Kodwa uma imikhuba engokwenkolo ibalulekile koyedwa noma kini nobabili, khona-ke ukungafani okungokwenkolo kufanele kucatshangelwe. . . . Akudingeki nifane uma kuziwa enkolweni . . . , kodwa kumelwe nikwazi ukuhlalisana ndawonye.”

Iseluleko esinjalo singase sizwakale sinengqondo. Kodwa empeleni sibonisa “ukuhlakanipha kwalelizwe.” (1 Korinte 3:19) IBhayibheli libonisa ukuthi ukuthandana phakathi kokholwayo nongakholwa kuphakamisa udaba olubaluleke ngaphezu kokufanelana emshadweni. Intsha phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova iyazi ukuthi lena indaba yokulalela iZwi likaNkulunkulu, elikhuthaza amaKristu ukuba ashade ‘kuphela eNkosini.’ (1 Korinte 7:39) Njengoba ukuphola kungekhona nje ukuzilibazisa kodwa kuyisinyathelo esibheke emshadweni, kungamjabhisa uNkulunkulu uma enye yezinceku zakhe ihileleka kwezothando nomuntu ongakunikezele ukuphila kwakhe kuJehova.

Noma kunjalo, enye intsha engoFakazi iye yazithola ikhangwa abangakholwa. Kwenzeka kanjani lokhu? Kufanele wenzenjani uma uzithola usesimweni esinjalo?

Indlela Okwenzeka Ngayo

Okokuqala nje, qaphela ukuthi bonke abantu bathambekele ekwenzeni amaphutha. “Ngubani owazi iziphosiso zakhe na?” kubuza umhubi. (IHubo 19:12) Intsha ikakhulukazi ithambekele ekwenzeni amaphutha emkhakheni wezothando. Ngani? Ngesizathu esilula nje sokuthi intula ubuhlakani obutholakala kokuhlangenwe nakho nasekukhuleni. (IzAga 1:4) Njengoba enokuhlangenwe nakho okuncane kokusebenzelana nowobulili obuhlukile, osemusha ongumKristu angase angazi ngempela ukuthi angakusingatha kanjani ukukhangwa othile—noma ukunakwa.

Kwaba njalo ngoSheila lapho eqaphela ukuthi ayefunda naye wayethathekile ngaye. “Ngangizibonela nje ukuthi uyangithanda” kusho uSheila. “Ngezikhathi zokudla kwasemini wayeza azokudla nami. Ngezikhathi zokutadisha emtatsheni wezincwadi, wayengifuna aze angithole.” Imizwa kaSheila ngalomfana yaqala ukukhula. UMark, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, naye uyakhumbula: “Ngangiyibona njalo lentombazane ekilasini lokuvivinya umzimba. Yayenza konke engakwenza ukuba izokhuluma nami. Ukuqala kobungane kwaba lula.” Endabeni kaPam oneminyaka engu-14, umfana ongumakhelwane waze wamnika ngisho nendandatho ukuze ambonise indlela ayemthanda ngayo.

Kuyavunywa, akuyena uFakazi ngaso sonke isikhathi oyisisulu esingenacala sokweshelwa. Enye intombazane yayimane nje isabela esithakazelweni esisobala esasiboniswa umfana ongumKristu okuthiwa uJim. Nokho, waswela umgodi wokucasha ngolunye usuku lapho ifika qathatha eHholo LoMbuso LoFakazi BakaJehova, izomfuna!

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo siyini, usuke wazi ukuthi akulungile ukuhileleka. Kodwa ngesinye isikhathi kunzima ukumelana nokunakwa abobulili obuhlukile. Cabanga ngo-Andrew. Onyakeni wakhe wokuqala esikoleni esiphakeme, abazali bakhe babephezu kwamalungiselelo esehlukaniso. “Ngangidinga othile engingakhuluma naye,” ekhumbula. Enye intombazane esikoleni yayibonakala ihlala inezwi elifanele lesikhuthazo. Ngokushesha imizwa yothando yakhula.

Izingozi

Imizwa enjalo ingakufaka enkingeni yangempela, uma inganakiwe. IzAga 6:27 zithi: “Umuntu angaphatha umlilo esifubeni sakhe, izingubo zakhe zingashi, na?” Ngokwesibonelo, cabanga ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwentombazane okuthiwa uKim. Nakuba yayikhuliswe njengomKristu, yazivumela ukuba ihileleke ngokomzwelo nomfana othile esikoleni. “Wayengomunye wabafana abadumile nabanogazi kakhulu esikoleni,” kukhumbula uKim. Kungakabi sikhathi esingakanani uKim wayeseya ngasese emadilini okusetshenziswa kuwo izidakamizwa ngokukhululekile. “Ngangesaba kakhulu, kodwa ngangimthanda. Ngakhulelwa.” UKim washada nalelisoka lakhe, kodwa lagcina seliboshiwe ngenxa yokuphanga lihlomile. Isixwayiso seBhayibheli saphinde sabonakala siyiqiniso: “Ukujwayelana nababi konakalisa ukuziphatha okuhle.”—1 Korinte 15:33.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi yonke intsha engebona oFakazi BakaJehova iziphethe kabi noma isebenzisa izidakamizwa. Nokho, okungenani leyontsha ayinazo izindinganiso, imibono, noma imigomo efana neyentsha engoFakazi. Eyokuqala kwabaseKorinte 2:14 iyachaza ukuthi ongakholwayo umane nje “kakwamukeli okukaMoya kaNkulunkulu‚ ngokuba kungubuwula kuye; angekuqonde‚ ngokuba kubonisiswa ngokomoya.” Cabanga indlela izindinganiso zakho ezingokwenkolo eziye zayilolonga ngayo imizwa yakho—injabulo oyithola emihlanganweni yobuKristu, injabulo yokuhlanganyela isigijimi seBhayibheli nomuntu olalelayo, intokozo yokutadisha iBhayibheli ngokwalo. Ongakholwa angayiqonda yini—ingasaphathwa eyokuba nayo—imizwa enjalo? Lutho neze.

Kungakho uPawulu eluleka amaKristu: “Maningaboshelwa ejokeni linye nabangakholwayo‚ ngokuba kunakuhlanganyela kuni ukulunga nokungalungi na? Kunabudlelwane buni ukukhanya nobumnyama na? Unakuzwana kuni uKristu noBeliyali na? Unasabelo sini okholwayo nongakholwayo na?” (2 Korinte 6:14, 15) USonya osemusha wazifundela mathupha lesifundo ngenkathi ehileleka ngokomzwelo nomuntu ongakholwa. Uyavuma: “Ukuba nomngane ongenayo intshiseko nothando onalo ngoJehova kubanga isizungu esingachazeki. Kuyalimaza ngokomzwelo. Lapho iqiniso lingamandla ashukumisayo ekuphileni kwakho, kumelwe ulihlanganyele nothile—kumelwe nakanjani! Kuba buhlungu kabi lapho ungakwazi ukulihlanganyela nomlingane wakho ngoba engakholwa.”

Khona-ke ebuhlotsheni obunjalo, inkolo ngeke ibe isizinda esifanayo, kodwa izoba esombango. Ungase uzizwe uphoqeleka kalula ukudebesela izithakazelo zakho ezingokomoya ukuze ulondoloze ukuthula. Kodwa ukwenza njalo kungamane kulimaze ingokomoya lakho. Omunye wesifazane osemusha uyalandisa: “Ngasondelana kakhulu nomfana ongeyena uFakazi. Kodwa njengoba ubungane babukhula, ngaqaphela ukuthi ngase ngimthanda. Ubuhlobo bami noJehova baya ngokuya buba obungabalulekile kangako kimi; ubuhlobo bami nalomfana baba into ebaluleke kakhulu kimi. Angibange ngisafuna ukuya emihlanganweni, ukuhlangana nabafowethu abangamaKristu, noma ukuya emsebenzini wokushumayela. Ukuphela kwento engangiyifuna kwakuwukuba naye. Eminyakeni emibili eyalandela ngase ngipholile njengoFakazi. Futhi kuyo yonke leyominyaka, ‘lomngane’ wami wayengangibonisi uthando engangimbonisa lona. Ngangilokhu ngithi uyogcina eselubonisa phela nakimi ngelinye ilanga, kodwa akazange.”

Yebo, ukuhileleka nothile ongenazo izindinganiso ezingokwenkolo nezokuziphatha ezinjengezakho nakanjani kuyokulethela usizi nokudabuka. Inkambo yokuhlakanipha iwukuhoxa kulokho kuboshelwa ngokungefani kulelojoka. Kodwa ungakwenza kanjani lokho uma unemizwa enamandla ngothile? Lokhu kuzoba indaba yesihloko sethu esilandelayo kuloluchungechunge.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 19]

Ingabe ongakholwa uzoba nayo intshiseko onayo ngezindaba ezingokomoya?