Izihluthulelo Zemfundo Enhle
MUVA nje i-New York Times yayinendaba ekhasini lokuqala ephathelene noLatoya, umfundi wasesikoleni esiphakeme oneminyaka engu-16 ubudala. Uthi wayeneminyaka engu-11 ubudala lapho uyise eqala ukumshaya nokumxhaphaza ngokobulili. Unina, owayesebenzisa izidakamizwa, wayeshiye umkhaya. Leli phephandaba labika: “Ikhaya laliyindawo esele dengwane engenandlu yangasese, noma eyikamelo ayesaba ngempela ukulala kulo.” Nokho, uLatoya wayehlukile. Naphezu kwakho konke lokhu, ekuqaleni kwalonyaka uLatoya wayengumongameli we-National Honor Society esikoleni esiphakeme afunda kuso futhi wathola isilinganiso sika-B ezifundweni zokugogoda.
Yini engasiza ngisho nomntwana okhulele endaweni embi ukuba aqhube kahle esikoleni? Ngokuvamile, isihluthulelo semfundo enhle ukuba nomuntu omdala okhathalelayo—mhlawumbe umzali oyedwa womntwana noma bobabili—osekelayo futhi ohileleke ngokugcwele emfundweni yomntwana. Omunye umfundi osebangeni eliphakeme esikoleni wayenomuzwa wokuthi lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu kangangokuthi washukumiseleka ukuba athi: “Abantwana bangaphumelela esikoleni kuphela ngokusekela kwabazali.”
Othisha abaningi bayavuma. Uthisha othile waseNew York City wathi: “Noma imuphi umfundi ophumelelayo esikoleni—futhi baningi—unomzali owayemsekela ngaso sonke isikhathi.”
Ukusekela Kwabazali, Isihluthulelo Esibalulekile
Ngonyaka odlule i-Reader’s Digest yabuza lombuzo, “Kungani abanye abafundi beqhuba kangcono kunabanye?” Esinye seziphetho sasiwukuthi “imikhaya eqinile yenza abantwana baphumelele esikoleni.” Abazali bemikhaya enjalo banikeza abantwana babo ukunakekela kothando futhi badlulisela kubo izindinganiso nemigomo efanelekile. Kodwa omunye umzali waphawula: “Awunakusinikeza isiqondiso esifanele uma ungazi ukuthi kwenzekani esikoleni.”
Indlela enhle yokwazi iwukuba uvakashele khona. Umama othile ovakashela esikoleni wabhala: “Lapho ngihamba emaphasishini esikoleni indodakazi yami efunda kuso, ngizwa ulimi olungcolile, olunenhlamba. Izingane ziyaqabulana futhi ziyaphululana kuyo yonke indawo—ukuba bekuyibhayisikobho, bekuyothiwa eyabantu abadala kuphela.” Ukuvakasha okunjalo kungase kukusize uqaphele indlela okunzima ngayo ngezingane namuhla ukuthola imfundo enhle, kanye nokuphila ukuphila kokuziphatha okuhle.
Ngokuphawulekayo, incwadi ethi The American Teacher 1994 yaphawula: “Abafundi abaye baba izisulu zobudlova cishe bathi abazali babo abaxhumani njalo nesikole, njengokuhlangana nothisha ngokuqondile, imihlangano yabazali noma yamaqembu, noma ukuvakashela esikoleni.”
Umama okhathazekile wembula lokho abazali okudingeka bakwenze. Wathi: “Yiba khona! Abaphathi besikole mabazi ukuthi unesithakazelo kulokho ingane yakho ekufundayo. Ngivakashela esikoleni njalo futhi ngihlale ekilasini lapho kufundiswa.” Omunye umama wagcizelela ukubaluleka kokusekela umntwana. Wachaza: “Abantwana bami baye baya ehhovisi beyoxoxa nomeluleki kodwa bashaywa indiva ngokuphelele. Lapho umntanami eya nami esikoleni ngakusasa, bazimisela ukungisiza—nomntanami.”
Lomama wabafana abane wagcizelela nokubaluleka kokuba nesithakazelo emisebenzini yesikole ethinta ngokuqondile imfundo yomntanakho. Wathi: “Yiba khona emibuthanweni, emibukisweni yesayensi—noma yini okungenzeka abantwana bakho bayayenza leyo abazali abamenyelwa kuyo. Lokhu kukunikeza amathuba okuhlangana nothisha bomntanakho. Kudingeka bazi ukuthi ubheka imfundo yomntanakho njengengxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yokuphila kwakhe. Lapho othisha bekwazi lokhu, bathambekela ekusebenziseni isikhathi nomzamo owengeziwe ekunakekeleni umntanakho.”
Ukubambisana Nothisha
Abanye abazali bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi banezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu okumelwe bezenze kusihlwa lapho izikole zihlela izenzakalo ezikhethekile zokuba abazali bajwayelane nothisha. Nokho, yini ngempela ebaluleke ngaphezu kokuzenza utholakale kulabo abazama ukusiza abantwana bakho ukuba bathole imfundo enhle? Ukusebenzelana okuhle kwabazali nothisha kubalulekile!
ERussia kunelungiselelo elihle lokuthuthukisa ukubambisana kwabazali nothisha. Zonke izabelo zesikole zibhalwa kulokho okubizwa ngokuthi i-Dnievnik—umbiko wemisebenzi yansuku zonke ohlanganiswa nekhalenda. Umfundi kumelwe eze ne-Dnievnik yakhe ekilasini ngalinye futhi uthisha ayithole lapho eyifuna. Abafundi kumelwe babonise nabazali babo le-Dnievnik, abacelwa ukuba bayisayine isonto ngalinye. Njengoba kwaphawula uVictor Lobachov, uyise wezingane zaseMoscow ezifunda esikoleni, “lokhu kwaziswa kusiza abazali ukuba bajwayelane nezabelo namamaki abantwana babo.”
Nokho, othisha namuhla bavame ukukhononda ngokuthi abazali abasibonisi isithakazelo emfundweni yabantwana babo. Omunye uthisha wasesikoleni esiphakeme e-United States wathi wake wathumela izincwadi ezingu-63 kubazali ebatshela ngokungaqhubi kahle kwabantwana babo esikoleni. Bathathu kuphela abazali abasabela ngokuthintana naye!
Ngempela, lokho kuyadabukisa! Abazali kufanele bahileleke ngokugcwele emfundweni yabantwana babo, ngokuyinhloko okuwumthwalo wabo wemfanelo. Umfundisi othile wayibeka kahle lendaba lapho ethi: “Inhloso eyinhloko yemfundo yasesikoleni iwukusekela abazali ekukhiqizeni intsha esikhulile enomthwalo wemfanelo.”
Ngakho, abazali kufanele bathathe isinyathelo kuqala sokwazi othisha babantwana babo. Njengoba omunye umzali asho, “othisha kudingeka bazizwe bekhululekile ukukushayela ucingo noma nini.” Futhi abazali kufanele bavumele—futhi bakhuthaze—othisha ukuba bakhulume ngokukhululekile ngomntwana wabo. Abazali kufanele babuze imibuzo eqondile njengokuthi: Ingabe umntanami uyakukhathaza ngandlela-thile? Ingabe uyahlonipha? Ingabe uba khona njalo ekilasini? Ingabe ufika ngesikhathi?
Kuthiwani uma uthisha esho okuthile ngomntanakho okungajabulisi? Ungaphethi ngokuthi akulona iqiniso. Ngeshwa, intsha eningi ebonakala iphila ukuphila okuhloniphekile ekhaya noma endaweni yokukhulekela, eqinisweni iphila ukuphila okumbaxa-mbili. Ngakho lalela uthisha ngenhlonipho, futhi uphenye lokho akushoyo.
Lapho Umntanakho Efika Ekhaya
Wena njengomzali uzizwa kanjani lapho ufika ekhaya uvela emsebenzini? Ukhathele? Ukhungathekile? Umntanakho angase azizwe kabi nakakhulu lapho efika ekhaya evela esikoleni. Ngakho omunye ubaba wakhuthaza: “Yenza ukufika ekhaya kujabulise. Cishe babhekane nosuku olunzima kakhulu.”
Lapho kungenzeka khona, ngokuqinisekile kuyafiseleka ukuthola umzali esekhaya lapho umntwana efika. Njengoba omunye umama aphawula, “abantwana ngeke bakutshele okwenzekayo uma ungekho ukuze uxoxe nabo. Ngakho ngiyaqikelela ukuba ngibe sekhaya lapho abantwana befika.” Umzali kudingeka angazi nje kuphela lokho umntanakhe akwenzayo kodwa nokuthi ucabangani futhi uzizwa kanjani. Ukuthola lokhu kuhilela isikhathi esiningi, umzamo, nokuphenya ngesineke. (IzAga 20:5) Ukukhulumisana nsuku zonke kubalulekile.
Uthisha othile wasesikoleni esiphansi eNew York City waphawula: “Nganoma iluphi usuku, kungenzeka kuye kwadluliselwa kumntanakho izindinganiso zesikole esinezinkinga.” Ngakho wakhuthaza: “Phaphamela okuhlakulelwa enhliziyweni yomntanakho. Zinike isikhathi, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ukhathele kangakanani, ukuze umenze axoxe futhi ufake izindinganiso ezilungile esikhundleni sezindinganiso ezingalungile.”—IzAga 1:5.
Ngokufanayo, uthisha othile wasesikoleni esiphakeme ongumakad’ ebona waluleka: “Kunokuba nje ubuze ukuthi kwenzekeni esikoleni, kungazuzisa ukubuza imibuzo eqondile ngokuphathelene nosuku nemisebenzi yalo. Akudingekile ukuba lokhu kwenziwe ngendlela eqinile noma ekhungathekisayo kodwa ngokubonisana ngobungane nomntwana.”
URichard W. Riley, unobhala wezemfundo e-United States, wanxusa: “Xoxani ngokuqondile nabantwana benu, ikakhulukazi abeve eshumini nambili, ngezingozi zezidakamizwa notshwala nezindinganiso enifuna abantwana benu babe nazo. Ukuxoxa ngokuqondile okunjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kunenza ningakhululeki, kungase kusindise ukuphila kwabo.”
Akufanele umzali, ikakhulukazi onemithwalo yemfanelo ebandleni lobuKristu, anikeze umbono wokuthi umatasa kakhulu ukuba alalele abantwana bakhe. Nakuba kungase kukuphazamise ukuzwa lokho abakushoyo, mababone ngokubukeka kobuso bakho nokukhuluma kwakho ukuthi uyajabula ngokuthi bakhuluma nawe ngokukhululekile. Omunye umfundi waluleka: “Ungashaqeki lapho umntanakho ekhuluma ngezidakamizwa noma ngobulili esikoleni.”
Ngenxa yokuwohloka kokuphila komkhaya, baningi namuhla abangase babizwe ngokuthi ‘izintandane.’ (Jobe 24:3; 29:12; IHubo 146:9) Ebandleni lobuKristu, ngokuvamile ukhona ongasiza osemusha odinga usizo. Ingabe ungonjalo?
Khuthaza Ukutadisha Nokuba Nomthwalo Wemfanelo
Intsha eningi ayizimiseli ngomsebenzi wesikole njengoLatoya, okukhulunywe ngaye esethulweni. Eningi idinga isikhuthazo esikhulu sokuba itadishe. Ngokuphathelene nabantwana bakhe siqu, owayeyishansela lezikole eNew York City uJoseph Fernandez wathi: “Ekhaya sasinezikhathi zokutadisha eziyisibopho. Sasibatholela izincwadi, sibakhuthaza ukuba baye emtatsheni wezincwadi, futhi sikubeka kuqala ukuya esikoleni nokuba nengxenye ezifundweni.”
Omunye umphathi wesikole wathi: “Kufanele sitholele abantwana bethu izincwadi nezindaba ezifundwayo ngendlela esibatholela ngayo ithelevishini, amabhayisikobho, ama-video futhi sibayisa ezikhungweni zezitolo.” Lapho abantwana benza umsebenzi wabo wesikole, abazali bangase bakwazi ukuhlela ukuba babe seduze benza isifundo somuntu siqu noma bezifundela. Ngaleyo ndlela abantwana bakho bangabona ukuthi uyayazisa imfundo.
Emakhaya amaningi ithelevishini iyinselele enkulu yokutadisha. “Lapho ineminyaka engu-18 ubudala,” kusho omunye umfundisi, “intsha isuke isichithe amahora angu-11 000 ekilasini namahora angu-22 000 ibuka ithelevishini.” Kungase kudingeke ukuba abazali balinganisele ukubuka i-TV kwabantwana babo, mhlawumbe bayibuke ngankathi nabo ngokwabo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, zimiseleni ukufunda okuthile nabantwana benu. Fundani ndawonye. Hlelani isikhathi sansuku zonke sokubheka umsebenzi wesikole.
Esikoleni abantwana benu bayothola izabelo eziningi okufanele bazilungiselele. Ingabe bayozifeza? Cishe bayokwazi uma niye nabafundisa ukunakekela imithwalo yemfanelo ekhaya. Indlela ebalulekile yokwenza lokhu iwukubabela imisebenzi yansuku zonke. Khona-ke funani ukuba bayifeze ngokwesikhathi esimisiwe. Yiqiniso, ukuqeqesha okunjalo kuyodinga umzamo wenu omkhulu, kodwa kuyofundisa abantwana benu ukusingatha umthwalo wemfanelo abakudingayo ukuze baphumelele esikoleni nakamuva ekuphileni.
Ukuzimisela Komfundi, Isihluthulelo Esibalulekile
Umeluleki wezezifundo u-Arthur Kirson waveza esinye isihluthulelo semfundo enhle lapho ethi ngoLatoya, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni: “Lapho ngiqala ngqá ukumbona kwakungemva kwesinye sezenzakalo ezinkulu ekhaya. Nansi lengane eyayinobuso obunezibazi [ngenxa yokuxhashazwa uyise]. Kodwa okuwukuphela kwento engayibona iyikhathalela umsebenzi wayo wesikole.”
Yebo, isihluthulelo esibalulekile semfundo enhle ukuzimisela komntwana okujulile kokufuna ukufunda. Osemusha othile waseNew York City waphawula: “Ezikoleni kulezi zinsuku zanamuhla ukuzuza kuxhomeke ngokuphelele ekuhlakuleleni kwabafundi ukuzimisela nokuzithiba.”
Ngokwesibonelo, umama owayekhathazekile ngemfundo yomntanakhe watshelwa uthisha ukuthi: “Ungakhathazeki Nkk. Smith. UJustin uhlakaniphile, ngeke kudingeke ukuba azi indlela yokubhala amagama. Uyoba nonobhala oyomenzela khona.” Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umntwana uhlakaniphe kangakanani, ukwazi amakhono okufunda nokubhala—kuhlanganise nokubhala indaba ezwakalayo, isandla esihle, nokubhala amagama ngendlela efanele—kubalulekile.
Ngokushaqisayo, abanye abafundisi abazange bamelane nesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esidumile uCarl Rogers lapho sithi: “Akekho okufanele azame ukufunda okuthile angayiboni inzuzo yakho.” Yini engalungile kulamazwi akhe? Njengoba kusobala, ngokuvamile umntwana akanakukubona ukubaluleka kwesikhathi esizayo kwalokho atshelwa ukuba akufunde. Ezimweni eziningi ukubaluleka kwako akuqashelwa kuze kube kamuva ekuphileni. Ngokusobala, umntwana namuhla kudingeka azimisele ukuze athole imfundo enhle!
UCindy, oneminyaka engu-14 ubudala ofunda ibanga lesikhombisa, uyisibonelo esihle sosemusha obonisa ukuzimisela okunjalo. Wachaza: “Ngiyasala ngemva kokuphuma kwesikole ngixoxe nothisha ukuze ngibazi. Ngizama ukuthola ukuthi yini abayifunayo kubafundi babo.” Uyalalela nasekilasini futhi umsebenzi wakhe uza kuqala. Lapho belalele ekilasini noma lapho befunda, abafundi abaphumelelayo bakwenza umkhuba ukwenza kanjalo bephethe ipeni nephepha ukuze babhale amaphuzu afanele.
Okubalulekile futhi ukuze umuntu athole imfundo enhle ukuzimisela ukugwema ukujwayelana nababi. UCindy walandisa: “Ngaso sonke isikhathi ngifuna umuntu oziphethe kahle. Ngokwesibonelo, ngibuza engifunda nabo esikoleni ukuthi bacabangani ngokusebenzisa kukasibanibani izidakamizwa noma ukuziphatha kwakhe kabi ngokobulili. Uma bethi, ‘Yini engalungile ngalokho?’ ngiyaqaphela ukuthi ababona abangane abahle. Kodwa uma othile ebonisa ukunengwa ngempela ukuziphatha okunjalo futhi ethi ufuna ukuba ohlukile, khona-ke ngikhetha ukuhlala naye ngesikhathi sokudla.”
Ngokusobala kunezinselele eziningi ekutholeni imfundo enhle namuhla. Kodwa imfundo enjalo ingatholakala uma abafundi nabazali besebenzisa lezi zihluthulelo. Ngokulandelayo sizocabangela elinye ilungiselelo elingakusiza kakhulu ukuba uthole imfundo enhle.
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Ukutotosa Noma Ukuyala Ngothando?
IBhayibheli lixwayisa ngokuthi ukutotosa abantwana kuholela enhlekeleleni. (IzAga 29:21, qhathanisa ne-NW.) Evumelana nalokhu, u-Albert Shanker, umongameli we-American Federation of Teachers, wathi: “Kunabazali abacabanga ukuthi benzela abantwana babo zonke izinto kahle uma benza konke ngendlela abantwana babo abafuna kwenziwe ngayo. Siyazi ukuthi lokho akulungile.”
Ngisho nabantwana abaningi bayazi ukuthi ukutotoswa ngaleyo ndlela akulungile. Ekuqaleni kwalonyaka iphephandaba elithile laseMassachusetts labika: “Ukuhlolwa kwabafundi baseNtshonalanga Springfield abangu-1572 abasebangeni lesine kuya kweleshumi kwathola ukuthi akukhona ukucindezela kontanga kodwa ‘ukuyekelela kwabazali’ okuyithonya eliphawuleka kakhulu ekusebenziseni izidakamizwa notshwala kwabantwana abakuleli qembu lobudala.”
Ukutotoswa kwabantwana ngaleyo ndlela kuye kwaholela nasemqedazweni wokuziphatha okuxekethile ngokobulili. Ngempela, njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, ukuhluleka ukunikeza ukuyala kuholela ekuhlazekeni komkhaya.—IzAga 29:15.
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Lokho Abazali Abangakwenza
✔ Sazi isikole umntanakho afunda kuso, izinhloso zaso, nendlela esibheka ngayo izindinganiso nezinkolelo onazo.
✔ Zijwayelanise nothisha bomntanakho, futhi uzame ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhle bokusebenzelana nabo.
✔ Yiba nesithakazelo esijulile emsebenzini wesikole womntanakho. Funda naye njalo.
✔ Lawula lokho umntanakho akubuka ku-TV nesikhathi asichitha eyibuka.
✔ Qaphela imikhuba yokudla yomntanakho. Ukudla okungenamsoco kungaba nemiphumela engemihle ekhonweni lakhe lokugxilisa ingqondo.
✔ Qikelela ukuthi umntanakho ulala ngokwanele. Abantwana abakhathele abafundi kahle.
✔ Zama ukusiza umntanakho ukuba akhethe abangane abahle.
✔ Yiba umngane omkhulu womntanakho. Uyabadinga bonke abangane abavuthiwe angabathola.
Lokho Abantwana Abangakwenza
✔ Ngosizo lwabazali bakho, hlela imigomo yemfundo nezindlela zokuyifinyelela. Xoxa nothisha bakho ngalemigomo.
✔ Khetha izifundo zakho ngokucophelela ngosizo lothisha nabazali bakho. Izifundo ozikhethela zona ezilula ngokuvamile akuzona eziphuma phambili.
✔ Zama ukwakha ubuhlobo obuhle nothisha bakho. Thola ukuthi yini abayilindele kuwe. Xoxa nabo ngentuthuko nezinkinga zakho.
✔ Lalelisisa ekilasini. Ungayengelwa ekuziphatheni okuphazamisayo.
✔ Khetha abangane bakho ngokuhlakanipha. Bangasekela noma bathiye intuthuko yakho esikoleni.
✔ Yenza umsebenzi wesikole nezabelo zakho kahle ngangokunokwenzeka. Zinikeze isikhathi esihle. Cela usizo kubazali bakho noma komunye umuntu omdala uma uludinga.
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Lalela ngenhlonipho uma uthisha ekhononda ngomntanakho
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Buza umntanakho ngesikole nsuku zonke