Ukubhekana Ngokuphumelelayo Nokugula Kwakho—Kanjani?

QINISEKA ukuthi imizwa enamandla onayo inengqondo. Nakuba kuyiqiniso ukuthi uyagula noma ukhubazekile ngokomzimba, ingqondo yakho ayilwamukeli ushintsho olulethwe ukugula ekuphileni kwakho. Kungase kubonakale sengathi wena nokugula kwakho niyabangisana, impikiswano phakathi kwalokho owawuyikho ngaphambili nalokho ongase ube yikho. Futhi okwamanje kungase kubonakale sengathi ukugula kuyanqoba. Nokho, ungasishintsha isimo. Kanjani?

“Uma ulahlekelwa okuthile ngenxa yokugula,” kuphawula uDkt. Kitty Stein, “kuba njengokufa.” Ngakho, uma ulahlekelwe okuthile okuyigugu kuwe njengempilo yakho, kumane nje kungokwemvelo ukuzinika isikhathi sokudabuka futhi ukhale, njengoba bekuyoba njalo uma kufa othandekayo. Eqinisweni, ungase ulahlekelwe okungaphezu nje kwempilo yakho. Owesifazane othile uyachaza, “Kwadingeka ngiyeke umsebenzi. . . . Kwadingeka ngiyeke ukuzimela ebengikujabulela.” Noma kunjalo, yiba nombono ofanele ngezinto ezikulahlekele. UDkt. Stein, one-multiple sclerosis [isifo sokuqina kwezicubu], uyanezela: “Kufanele ukukhalele okukulahlekele, kodwa futhi kufanele uqonde ukuthi yini osele nayo.” Yebo, lapho usudlulile osizini lwasekuqaleni, uyoqaphela ukuthi usenemithombo yokusekelwa enamandla. Phakathi kokunye, unekhono lokuzivumelanisa nezimo.

Itilosi ngeke lisilawule isiphepho, kodwa lingasigwema ngokulungisa oseyili besikebhe salo. Ngokufanayo, ungase ungakwazi ukulawula ukugula okugasele ukuphila kwakho, kodwa ungabhekana nakho ngokulungisa “oseyili” bakho, okuwukuthi, amandla akho angokomzimba, angokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Yini eye yasiza abantu abanezifo ezingalapheki ukuba benze kanjalo?

Funda Ngesifo Esikuphethe

Ngemva kokwamukela ubuhlungu bokutholakala kwesifo, abaningi baba nomuzwa wokuthi ukwazi iqiniso elibuhlungu kungcono kunokwesaba into ongayazi. Nakuba ukwesaba kungase kukhwantabalise, ukwazi ukuthi yini eyenzekayo kuwe kungase kukusize ucabangele lokho ongakwenza—futhi lokho ngokuvamile kunethonya elihle. UDkt. David Spiegel waseStanford University uthi: “Qaphela indlela ozizwa ungcono ngayo nganoma yini ekukhathazayo uma usunesu lokubhekana nayo. Ngisho nangaphambi kokuba wenze okuthile, ukuhlela lokho okufanele ukwenze kunciphisa ukuphatheka kabi.”

Ungase ubone isidingo sokufunda okwengeziwe ngesifo sakho. Njengoba isaga seBhayibheli sisho, ‘indoda enolwazi iqinisa amandla.’ (IzAga 24:5, qhathanisa ne-NW.) “Thola izincwadi emtatsheni. Funda okuningi ngangokunokwenzeka ngesifo sakho,” kweluleka indoda ethile ehlala isembhedeni. Njengoba ufunda ngezindlela zokwelapha ezitholakalayo namasu okukhuthazela, ungase uthole ukuthi isimo sakho mhlawumbe asisibi njengoba ubucabanga. Ungase uthole ngisho nezizathu zokuba nethemba lokuhle.

Nokho, ukusiqonda kahle isifo sakho akuwona umgomo wokugcina. UDkt. Spiegel uyachaza: “Le nqubo yokuqongelela ulwazi iyingxenye yenqubo ebalulekile yokwamukela isifo, yokusiqonda nokusibheka ngombono ofanele.” Ukuvuma ukuthi ukuphila kwakho sekushintshile kodwa kusekhona, kuyinqubo ebucayi nethatha isikhathi. Kodwa lesi sinyathelo sentuthuko—kusuka ekuqondeni isifo sakho kuya ekusamukeleni ngokomzwelo—kuyisinyathelo ongasithatha. Kanjani?

Ukulinganisela Ngokucophelela

Kungase kudingeke ulungise umbono wakho ngokuthi kusho ukuthini ukwamukela ukugula. Phela, ukuvuma ukuthi uyagula akulona uphawu lokwehluleka, njengoba nje kungelona uphawu lokwehluleka uma itilosi livuma iqiniso lokuthi kunesiphepho. Kunalokho, ukuba nombono ongokoqobo ngesiphepho kulishukumisela esenzweni. Ngokufanayo, ukwamukela isifo sakho akukona ukwehluleka, kodwa njengoba kwasho owesifazane othile onesifo esingalapheki, kusho “ukuthatha esinye isinyathelo esihlukile.”

Ngisho noma amakhono akho angokomzimba esenciphile, kungase kudingeke uzikhumbuze ukuthi izimfanelo zakho ezingokwengqondo, ezingokomzwelo nezingokomoya akudingeki ukuba zithinteke. Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe usenakho ukuhlakanipha kanye nekhono lokuhlela izinto nokuhluzeka? Mhlawumbe usakwazi ukumamatheka ngemfudumalo, usabakhathalela abanye futhi usenalo ikhono lokuba isilaleli esihle nomngane wangempela. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, usenokholo kuNkulunkulu.

Ngaphezu kwalokho, khumbula ukuthi nakuba ungenakuzishintsha zonke izimo zakho, usenganquma ukuthi uzosabela kanjani kuzo. U-Irene Pollin we-National Cancer Institute uthi: “Unamandla okulawula indlela osabela ngayo esifweni onaso. La mandla unawo kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isifo sinjani.” UHelen, owesifazane oneminyaka engu-70 ubudala onesifo sokuqina kwezicubu osekukubi, uyavuma: “Akukhona ngempela ukugula kwakho kodwa yindlela osabela ngayo kukho enquma ukuthi uyophinde ululame yini.” Indoda ethile esineminyaka eminingana ikhubazekile ithi: “Isimo sengqondo esiqondile siyinsika eyenza umkhumbi ungacwili.” Yebo, izAga 18:14 zithi: “Umoya womuntu uyasekela ubuthakathaka bakhe, kepha ngubani ongathwala umoya owaphukileyo na?”

Ukululama

Njengoba usuqala ukululama ngokomzwelo, imibuzo enjengokuthi ‘Kungani ngehlelwa yilokhu?’ ingase ithathelwe indawo yimibuzo enjengokuthi ‘Njengoba sengehlelwe yilesi simo, yini engizoyenza ngaso?’ Kuleli qophelo ungase ukhethe ukuthatha ezinye izinyathelo zokuthuthukisa isimo sakho. Ake sicabangele ezimbalwa.

Hlaziya isimo sakho, ucabangele lokho okufanele ukushintshe, bese ushintsha okungase kushintsheke. UDkt. Spiegel uthi: “Ukugula kwakho kuyithuba lokuhlaziya kabusha ukuphila—isikhathi sokuphaphama, hhayi ibika lokufa.” Zibuze: ‘Yini eyayibalulekile kimina ngaphambi kokuba ngigule? Ingabe lokhu sekushintshile?’ Zibuze imibuzo enjalo, hhayi ukuze uthole ukuthi yini ongeke usakwazi ukuyenza, kodwa ukuze unqume ukuthi yini osengayenza, mhlawumbe ngokwenza izinto ngendlela ehlukile. Ngokwesibonelo, cabangela uHelen okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni.

Iminyaka engu-25 edlule, ukuqina kwezicubu kuye kwawohloza imisipha yakhe. Ekuqaleni, wayedondolozela. Kamuva, lapho isandla sakhe sokudla sifa, waqala ukusebenzisa esobunxele. Ngokulandelayo, isandla sobunxele naso safa. Eminyakeni engu-8 edlule, wayengasakwazi ukuhamba. Manje sekudingeka agezwe, afunzwe futhi agqokiswe. Lokhu kuyamdumaza, kodwa noma kunjalo, uthi: “Ngisenesiqubulo esithi, ‘Cabanga ngalokho ongase ukwenze hhayi ngalokho owawukwazi ukukwenza.’” Futhi ngosizo lomyeni wakhe nabahlengikazi abamvakashelayo kanye nekhono lokusungula izinto, usakwazi ukuqhubeka nezinye izinto ayevele ezijabulela. Ngokwesibonelo, ukuhlanganyela nabanye isithembiso seBhayibheli sezwe elisha lokuthula elizayo bekuyingxenye eyigugu yokuphila kwakhe kusukela eseneminyaka engu-11 ubudala, futhi nanamuhla usakwenza masonto onke. (Mathewu 28:19, 20) UHelen uyachaza ukuthi ukwenza kanjani:

“Ngicela umhlengikazi ovakashile ukuba angibonise iphephandaba. Sobabili sifunda ngemibiko yezemingcwabo bese sikhetha eminye phakathi kwayo. Khona-ke ngitshela umhlengikazi ukuthi yini engifuna ukuyibhala encwadini eya ezihlotsheni zikamufi, bese umhlengikazi engibhalela yona ngomshini. Le ncwadi ngiyithumela nencwajana ethi Lapho Ufelwa Othandekayo,a echaza ithemba leBhayibheli lovuko eliduduzayo. Lokhu ngikwenza njalo ngeSonto ntambama. Kuyangijabulisa ukuthi ngisakwazi ukuhlanganyela izindaba ezinhle zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu nabanye.”

Zibekele imigomo enengqondo nefinyelelekayo. Esinye isizathu esenza uHelen azame ukushintsha lokho angase akushintshe siwukuthi, lokhu kumnikeza ithuba lokubeka imigomo futhi ayifinyelele. Lokhu kubalulekile nakuwe. Ngani? Ngoba ukubeka imigomo kwenza ingqondo yakho ibheke esikhathini esizayo, futhi ukuyifinyelela kukunikeza umuzwa wokufeza okuthile. Kungavuselela nokuzethemba kwakho. Nokho, qiniseka ukuthi umgomo ozibekela wona uqondile. Ngokwesibonelo, ungase unqume ukuthi: ‘Ngizofunda isahluko esisodwa seBhayibheli namuhla.’ Futhi zibekele imigomo ongayifinyelela. Njengoba isimo sakho somzimba nesingokomzwelo sihlukile kwesabanye abantu abanezifo zesikhathi eside, ungase ungakwazi ukufinyelela imigomo enjengeyabo.—Galathiya 6:4.

ULex, ohlala eNetherlands, uthi: “Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umgomo ubonakala umncane kangakanani, ukuwufinyelela kukushukumisela ukuba wenze okwengeziwe.” Eminyakeni engaphezu kwengu-20 edlule, eseneminyaka engu-23 ubudala, wahileleka engozini eyamshiya ekhubazekile. Phakathi nezikhathi zokwelashwa eziningi ezalandela, wakhuthazwa ukuba azibekele imigomo, njengokugeza ubuso bakhe. Kwakukhathaza, kodwa waphumelela. Lapho eqaphela ukuthi wayewufinyelele lowo mgomo, wazibekela omunye—ukuvula nokuvala ishubhu lomuthi wokuxubha. Nalapho futhi waphumelela. “Nakuba kwakungelula,” kusho uLex, “ngathola ukuthi ngingenza okungaphezu kwalokho engangikucabanga.”

Yebo, ngokusekelwa umkakhe, uTineke, uLex wafinyelela imigomo emikhulu. Ngokwesibonelo, ehambisana noTineke, uhamba indlu ngendlu esesihlalweni sabakhubazekile ehlanganyela nabanye ulwazi lweBhayibheli. Uhambela indoda ekhubazeke kabi atadisha nayo iBhayibheli isonto ngalinye ukuze ayikhuthaze. ULex uthi: “Ukusiza abanye kuyanganelisa.” Njengoba iBhayibheli livuma, “kukhona injabulo eyengeziwe ekupheni kunekhona ekwamukeleni.”—IzEnzo 20:35.

Ingabe nawe ungazibekela imigomo yokusiza abanye? Ukugula noma ukukhubazeka kungase kukusize ukuba ube umduduzi onekhono ngokukhethekile ngoba izinkinga zakho zikwenza usabele ngokushesha ebuhlungwini babanye abantu.

Londoloza ubudlelwane nabanye. Ucwaningo lwezokwelapha lubonisa ukuthi ukuba nobudlelwane nabanye kuyinzuzo empilweni yakho. Kodwa okuphambene nalokho nakho kuyiqiniso. Omunye umcwaningi uthi: “Ukuhlobana okukhona phakathi kokuntula ubudlelwane nokufa . . . kunamandla njengokuhlobana okukhona phakathi kokubhema . . . nokufa.” Uyanezela: “Kungase kubaluleke kakhulu empilweni yakho ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwane bakho njengoba kunjalo ngokuyeka ugwayi.” Yingakho ethi amakhono ethu okulondoloza ubudlelwane “asisiza siphile.”—IzAga 18:1.

Nokho, njengoba kuphawuliwe esihlokweni esandulele, inkinga ingase ibe ukuthi abanye babangane bakho abasakuvakasheli. Ukuze uzuze, kufanele unqande igagasi lokuzehlukanisa. Kodwa kanjani? Ungase uqale ngokumema abangane bakho ukuba bakuvakashele.

Yenza isikhathi sokuvakashelwa sijabulise.b Lokhu ungakwenza ngokungakhulumi njalo ngesifo sakho ukuze abakuvakashele bangaze bakhathale ukuzwa ngaso. Owesifazane onesifo esingalapheki waxazulula le nkinga ngokubeka isikhathi abasichitha nomyeni wakhe bexoxa ngokugula kwakhe. Uthi: “Kwakufanele silinganisele.” Ngempela, akudingekile ukuba ukugula kwakho kungenele kuyo yonke into oyixoxayo. Esinye isivakashi, ngemva kokuxoxa nomngane waso ohlala esembhedeni, bexoxa ngezobuciko, umlando nezizathu zokukholelwa kwakhe kuJehova uNkulunkulu, sathi: “Ungaphika ukuthi uyagula. Kwakumnandi ukuxoxa naye.”

Ukulondoloza umoya omuhle wokuba namahlaya nakho kuyokwenza kujabulise kubangane ukukuvakashela. Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukuhleka kuyakuzuzisa nawe. Indoda ene-Parkinson ithi: “Ukuba namahlaya kukusiza ukuba ukhuthazele phakathi kwezimo eziningi nalapho ubhekene nezimo eziningi.” Yebo, ukuhleka kungaba yikhambi. IzAga 17:22 ziyaphawula: “Inhliziyo eyenamileyo iyikhambi elihle.” Ngisho nethutshana nje lokuhleka lizokusiza. Ngaphezu kwalokho, “ngokungefani neminye imithi esiyizamayo, ukuhleka kuphephe ngokuphelele, akunabo ubuthi futhi kuyajabulisa,” kuphawula umlobi uSusan Milstrey Wells, naye onesifo esingalapheki. “Okuwukuphela kwento esilahlekelayo ngokuhleka umuzwa omubi.”

Thola izindlela zokunciphisa ukucindezeleka. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukucindezeleka kungabhebhethekisa isifo, kanti ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka kusiza ekwenzeni ukuba sibekezeleleke. Ngakho, hlaba ikhefu ngezikhathi ezithile. (UmShumayeli 3:1, 4) Ungagxili ekuguleni kwakho. Uma uhlala usekhaya, ungase uzame ukunciphisa ukucindezeleka ngokomzwelo ngokulalela umculo opholile, ukufunda incwadi, ukungena kubhavu isikhathi eside, ukubhala izincwadi noma izinkondlo, ukudweba umfanekiso, ukudlala insimbi yomculo, ukuxoxa nomngane omethembayo, noma ukwenza ezinye izinto ezinjalo. Ukwenza kanjalo ngeke kuyixazulule unomphela inkinga yakho, kodwa kungase kukunike impumuzo yesikhashana.

Uma ukwazi ukuhamba, shaywa umoya, uyothenga ezitolo, wenze ingadi, uphume ngemoto, noma uma kungenzeka, uthathe iholidi. Kuyavunywa, ukuthatha uhambo kungase kube nzima ngenxa yokugula kwakho, kodwa ngokuhlela kusengaphambili nangokuvumelana nezimo eziphakamayo, izithiyo zingase zinqotshwe. Ngokwesibonelo, uLex noTineke, okukhulunywe ngabo ngaphambili, bakwazi ukuvakashela kwelinye izwe. “Ekuqaleni kwakunzinyana,” kusho uLex, “kodwa saba neholidi elimnandi!” Yebo, ukugula kwakho kungaba yingxenye yokuphila kwakho, kodwa akudingekile ukuba kulawule ukuphila kwakho.

Thola amandla ngokholo. AmaKristu eqiniso aye abhekana ngokuphumelelayo nokukhubazeka okukhulu, athi ukholo lwawo kuJehova uNkulunkulu kanye nobudlelwane bawo nebandla lobuKristu kuwumthombo wasikhathi sonke wenduduzo namandla.c Nakhu okunye akushoyo ngokubaluleka kokuthandaza, ukutadisha iBhayibheli, ukuzindla ngekusasa nokuba khona emihlanganweni yobuKristu eHholo LoMbuso.

● “Kuyenzeka ngicindezeleke ngezinye izikhathi. Uma lokhu kwenzeka, ngiyathandaza kuJehova, futhi uvuselela ukuzimisela kwami ukuqhubeka ngenza engingakwenza.”—IHubo 55:22; Luka 11:13.

● “Ukufunda iBhayibheli bese ngizindla ngalokho engikufundayo kuyangisiza kakhulu ukuba ngilondoloze ukuthula kwami kwengqondo.”—IHubo 63:6; 77:11, 12.

● “Ukutadisha iBhayibheli kungikhumbuza ukuthi ukuphila kwangempela kuseza nokuthi ngeke ngihlale ngikhubazekile kuze kube phakade.”—Isaya 35:5, 6; IsAmbulo 21:3, 4.

● “Ukuba nokholo esikhathini esizayo esithenjiswe eBhayibhelini kunginikeza amandla okubhekana nokuphila usuku ngalunye ngesikhathi.”—Mathewu 6:33, 34; Roma 12:12.

● “Ukuba semihlanganweni eHholo LoMbuso kugcina ingqondo yami igxile ezintweni ezakhayo hhayi esifweni enginaso.”—IHubo 26:12; 27:4.

● “Ubudlelwane obukhuthazayo namalungu ebandla bungifudumeza inhliziyo.”—IzEnzo 28:15.

IBhayibheli liyasiqinisekisa: “UJehova muhle, uyinqaba ngosuku lwenhlupheko, uyabazi abaphephela kuye.” (Nahume 1:7) Ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze noJehova uNkulunkulu nokuba nobudlelwane nebandla lobuKristu kuyimithombo yenduduzo namandla.—Roma 1:11, 12; 2 Korinte 1:3; 4:7.

Ziphe Isikhathi

Ukubhekana ngokuphumelelayo nokugula okubi noma ukukhubazeka kuyinqubo “edinga isikhathi hhayi eyenzeka ngokushesha,” kusho isisebenzi sezenhlala-kahle esisiza abantu ukuba babhekane nemiphumela yokugula isikhathi eside. Omunye uchwepheshe weluleka ngokuthi ziphe isikhathi, ngoba ufunda “ikhono elisha shá: ukubhekana nokugula okubi.” Qaphela ukuthi nakuba unesimo sengqondo esiqondile, kungase kube nezinsuku noma amasonto lapho ungajabuli khona ngoba ukhandlwa yimiphumela yokugula kwakho. Nokho, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ungase ubone intuthuko. Kwenzeka kanjalo kowesifazane othile, owathi: “Ngajabula ngafa lapho ngiqaphela ukuthi kwakudlule usuku lonke ngingazange ngicabange ngomdlavuza. . . . Esikhathini esithile esidlule, ngangingacabangi ukuthi kungenzeka lokho.”

Yebo, lapho usukwazile ukubhekana nokwesaba ekuqaleni wase uzibekela imigomo emisha, ungase umangale ukuthi uyokwazi kahle kangakanani ukubhekana nesimo—njengoba kubonisa isihloko esilandelayo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 7]

Ukufunda ngesifo onaso kungakusiza ukuba usamukele

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

Ngosizo lwabanye, uHelen ubhala izincwadi eziyisikhuthazo

[Isithombe ekhasini 8]

“Kuyangijabulisa ukuhlanganyela izindaba ezinhle zoMbuso kaNkulunkulu nabanye”

[Izithombe ekhasini 9]

“Ngathola ukuthi nakuba ngikhubazekile, ngingenza okungaphezu kwalokho engangikucabanga.”—ULex