Ubusha—Ukulungiselela Ukuba Umuntu Omdala

AKE sithi usuka esiqhingini esishisayo uya e-Arctic Circle. Njengoba wehla endizeni, uthola ukuthi amakhaza ashubisa umkantsha kule ndawo. Ungakwazi yini ukuzivumelanisa nayo? Yebo, kodwa kuyodingeka wenze izinguquko ezimbalwa.

Ubhekana nesimo esifanayo lapho izingane zakho zifika esigabeni sobusha. Kuvele kube sengathi kushintshe isimo sezulu kungazelelwe. Umfana obengahlukani nawe manje usekhetha ukuba nontanga yakhe. Intombazane ebihlale ilangazelela ukukuxoxela izinto ezenzekile phakathi nosuku manje isivele ikunike izimpendulo ezimfushane.

Uyabuza, “Bekunjani esikoleni?”

Iyaphendula, “Bekukahle.”

Kuthi cwaka.

Uyabuza, “Ucabangani?”

Iyaphendula, “Lutho.”

Kuphinde kuthi cwaka.

Sekwenzekeni? Incwadi ethi Breaking the Code ithi, esikhathini esingatheni esidlule, “bekusengathi unelungelo lokuzwa konke okwenzeka ekuphileni kwezingane zakho. Manje usuthola okutholwa abantu nje abangasondelene nazo futhi mhlawumbe uthola amanembe.”

Ingabe kufanele uvele ungabe usazihlupha? Cha, akunjalo. Ungahlala useduze nezingane zakho njengoba zikulesi sigaba sokukhula. Nokho, okokuqala kudingeka uqonde ukuthi yini ngempela eyenzekayo phakathi nalesi sigaba sokukhula esithakazelisayo kodwa ngezinye izikhathi esinezinkinga.

Ukusuka Ebuntwaneni Kuya Ebudaleni

Abacwaningi bake bacabanga ukuthi ubuchopho bomntwana cishe busuke sebukhule ngokuphelele lapho eseneminyaka emihlanu. Manje bakholelwa ukuthi nakuba ubukhulu bobuchopho bushintsha kancane ngemva kweminyaka emihlanu, akunjalo ngendlela obusebenza ngayo. Lapho intsha iqala ukuthomba, izinguquko ezenzeka kuma-hormone ayo ziyayishintsha indlela ecabanga ngayo. Ngokwesibonelo, nakuba izingane ezincane zibheka izinto njengoba zinjalo, ngombono ofiphele, intsha iba nombono ojulile, ihlola umnyombo wendaba. (1 Korinte 13:11) Iqala ukuba nemibono yayo futhi ayinamahloni okuyiveza leyo mibono.

UPaolo wase-Italy, waluqaphela lolo shintsho enganeni yakhe. Uthi, “Uma ngibheka indodana yami eseyevile eminyakeni eyishumi nambili, kuba sengathi ngibhekene nendojeyana, hhayi umfanyana nje. Akuzona izinguquko ezisemzimbeni nje kuphela. Okungimangaza kakhulu indlela ecabanga ngayo. Ayesabi ukuveza imibono yayo nokuyivikela!”

Ingabe uke wasiphawula isimo esifanayo enganeni yakho? Mhlawumbe lapho isengumntwana yayivele yenze lokho okushoyo. Kwakwanele ukuthi “yenza lokho engikushoyo.” Manje njengoba isiyibhobhodleyana, ifuna izizathu, futhi mhlawumbe ize ingabaze izindinganiso umkhaya ophila ngazo. Ngezinye izikhathi ukungagunci kwayo lapho ikhuluma kungabonakala njengokuvukela.

Kodwa ungaphethi ngokuthi ingane ihlose ukulahla izimiso zokuziphatha ophila ngazo. Kungenzeka ishikashikana nomzamo wokwenza izimiso zakho zibe ngezayo, izama ukuzitholela indawo ekuphileni kwayo. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi uthuthela kwenye indawo futhi uhamba nempahla yakho yasendlini. Ingabe kuzoba lula ukuthola indawo yokubeka yonke into emzini omusha? Cishe akunjalo. Kodwa yinye into eqinisekile, ngeke ulahle lutho olubheka njengoluyigugu.

Ingane yakho ibhekene nesimo esifanayo njengoba ilungiselela isikhathi lapho ‘iyoshiya khona uyise nonina.’ (Genesise 2:24) Yiqiniso ukuthi lolo suku kungenzeka lusekude; ingane yakho ayikakabi umuntu omdala. Nokho, ngomqondo othile isiqalile ukuqoqa. Phakathi neminyaka yokweva eshumini nambili ihlola izimiso ekhuliswe ngazo futhi yenza izinqumo mayelana nokuthi yiziphi ezozithatha izisebenzise uma isikhulile.a

Ungase ukwethuse umcabango wokuthi ingane yakho yenza isinqumo esinjalo. Nokho ungaqiniseka ngokuthi uma isikhulile, iyogcina kuphela izimiso zokuziphatha ezibheka njengeziyigugu. Ngakho-ke, manje—njengoba isesekhaya—isikhathi sokuba ihlolisise izimiso ezophila ngazo.—IzEnzo 17:11.

Ngempela kuyoyizuzisa ingane yakho ukwenza kanjalo. Empeleni uma ingamukela izindinganiso zakho ngaphandle kokuzihlola, kamuva ingazamukela kalula nje nezindinganiso zabanye. (Eksodusi 23:2) IBhayibheli lichaza omusha onjalo njengoyengeka kalula ngoba “eswele inhliziyo”—inkulumo esho ukuntula ukuqonda, phakathi kwezinye izinto. (IzAga 7:7) Omusha ongaqiniseki ngezinkolelo zakhe angase ‘ajikijeleke ngapha nangapha sengathi ujikijelwa amagagasi futhi ayiswe lé nalé yiyo yonke imimoya yemfundiso ngokukhohlisa kwabantu.’—Efesu 4:14.

Ungakuvimbela kanjani ukuba lokho kungenzeki enganeni yakho? Qiniseka ukuthi inalezi zinto ezintathu ezisemqoka:

1 AMANDLA OKUQONDA

Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala ukuthi ‘abantu abavuthiwe, amandla abo okuqonda aqeqeshelwe ukuhlukanisa kokubili okulungile nokungalungile.’ (Hebheru 5:14) Ungase uthi, ‘kodwa sekuyiminyaka ngayifundisa ingane yami ukuhlukanisa okulungile nokungalungile.’ Akungabazeki futhi ukuthi lokho kuqeqeshwa kwayizuzisa ngaleso sikhathi futhi kwayilungiselela isigaba esilandelayo sokukhula. (2 Thimothewu 3:14) Noma kunjalo, uPawulu wathi abantu kudingeka baqeqeshe amandla abo okuqonda. Nakuba izingane ezincane zingase zikwazi okulungile nokungalungile, intsha esikhulakhulile kudingeka ‘ikhule ngokugcwele emandleni okuqonda.’ (1 Korinte 14:20; IzAga 1:4; 2:11) Awufuni ingane yakho imane ikulalele nje kodwa ufuna isebenzise amakhono okucabanga abonisa ukuvuthwa. (Roma 12:1, 2) Ungayisiza kanjani ukuba yenze lokho?

Enye indlela ukuyivumela iveze imizwa yayo. Ungayingeni emlonyeni lapho isakhuluma futhi zama ngokusemandleni akho ukuba ungasabeli ngamawala—ngisho nalapho isho into ongayifuni. IBhayibheli lithi: ‘Shesha ukuzwa, wephuze ukukhuluma, wephuze ukuthukuthela.’ (Jakobe 1:19; IzAga 18:13) Ngaphezu kwalokho, uJesu wathi: “Umlomo ukhuluma ngokuchichima kwenhliziyo.” (Mathewu 12:34) Uma ulalela, uyokwazi ukuthola ukuthi yini ngempela esengqondweni yengane yakho.

Lapho ukhuluma, zama ukusebenzisa imibuzo kunokusho amazwi angenamusa. Ngezinye izikhathi uJesu wayebuza, “Nicabangani?” hhayi ukuze ezwe uvo lwabafundi bakhe kuphela kodwa nolwalabo ababemphikisa. (Mathewu 21:23, 28) Ungenza okufanayo nasenganeni yakho, ngisho noma iveza imibono ephambene neyakho. Ngokwesibonelo:

Uma ingane yakho ithi: “Angiqiniseki ukuthi ngiyakholelwa yini kuNkulunkulu.”

Kunokuba uphendule ngokuthi: “Sakufundisa into enengqondo kunaleyo—vele uyakholelwa kuNkulunkulu!”

Ungase uthi: “Yini ekwenza uzizwe ngaleyo ndlela?”

Kungani ufuna ingane iveze imizwa yayo? Isizathu siwukuthi, nakuba ukuzwa lokho ekushoyo, kudingeka uthole ukuthi yini eyicabangayo. (IzAga 20:5) Kungenzeka inkinga iphathelene nezindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu hhayi ukuba khona kwaKhe.

Ngokwesibonelo, omusha ozizwa ecindezelekile ukuba angayilaleli imithetho kaNkulunkulu yokuziphatha angazama ukuvumelana nalokho kucindezela ngokususa uNkulunkulu engqondweni. (IHubo 14:1) Angase acabange, ‘Uma uNkulunkulu engekho, khona-ke akudingeki ngiphile ngezindinganiso zeBhayibheli.’

Uma kubonakala sengathi ingane yakho icabanga kanjalo, kungase kudingeke icabange ngalo mbuzo, Ngikholelwa ngempela yini ukuthi izindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu zizuzisa mina? (Isaya 48:17, 18) Uma ikholelwa ukuthi zizoyizuzisa, ikhuthaze ukuba ibone ukuthi kuyafaneleka ukulwela inhlalakahle yayo.—Galathiya 5:1.

Uma ingane yakho ithi: “Lena inkolo yakho, kodwa lokho akusho ukuthi ingeyami.”

Kunokuba uphendule ngokuthi: “Inkolo yethu sonke, uyingane yethu futhi uzokholelwa kulokho esikutshela ukuba ukukholelwe.”

Ungase uthi: “Aze esinda lawo mazwi. Nokho, uma wenqaba izinkolelo zami, kufanele kube nokuthile okuzothatha indawo yazo. Manje, yini wena oyikholelwayo? Yiziphi izindinganiso ocabanga ukuthi kulungile ukuphila ngazo?”

Kungani ufuna ingane iveze imizwa yayo? Kungenxa yokuthi ukubonisana nayo ngale ndlela kungayisiza ihlole imicabango yayo. Ingase imangale ukuthola ukuthi izinkolelo zayo ziyefana nezakho kodwa imane ikhathazwa into eseceleni ngokuphelele.

Ngokwesibonelo, mhlawumbe ayazi ukuthi ingabachazela kanjani abanye ngezinkolelo zayo. (Kolose 4:6; 1 Petru 3:15) Noma kungenzeka ikhangwa othile wobulili obuhlukile onezinkolelo ezihlukile kwezayo. Thola umnyombo wenkinga futhi uyisize nayo yenze okufanayo. Uma iwasebenzisa ngokwengeziwe amandla ayo okuqonda, iyokuhlomela kangcono ukuba umuntu omdala.

2 ISIQONDISO SOMUNTU OMDALA

Kwamanye amasiko namuhla, kuba nobufakazi obuncane “beziphepho nokucindezeleka” noma bungabi khona nhlobo, ezinye izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ezithi kufanele kulindeleke eminyakeni yokweva eshumini nambili. Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi intsha yakuleyo miphakathi isheshe ijwayelane nokuphila kwabantu abadala. Isebenza nabantu abadala, izilibazisa nabo futhi inikwa nemithwalo yemfanelo yabantu abadala. Inkulumo enjengokuthi “umkhuba wentsha,” “ukuganga kwezingane” ngisho nebhekisela “enkathini yokweva eshumini nambili” ayitholakali.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, cabanga ngentsha yasemazweni amaningi okudingeka iye ezikoleni ezigcwele ngokweqile lapho ikwazi ukuchitha isikhathi sayo nenye intsha kuphela. Uma ibuyela ekhaya, kusuke kukhala ibhungane. Ubaba nomama bayasebenza. Izihlobo zihlala kude. Abantu engachitha nabo isikhathi kuba ontanga yayo.b Ingabe uyayibona ingozi kulokhu? Akuyona nje indaba yokuzihlanganisa nabantu abangafanele. Abacwaningi bathole ukuthi ngisho nentsha eyisibonelo iwela ekuziphatheni kokunganaki uma ihlukanisiwe nabantu abadala.

Umphakathi ongazange uyihlukanise intsha kubantu abadala owakwa-Israyeli wasendulo.c Ngokwesibonelo, iBhayibheli likhuluma ngo-Uziya owaba inkosi yakwaJuda esemncane. Yini eyasiza u-Uziya wakwazi ukuthwala lowo mthwalo osindayo? Akungabazeki ukuthi ngokwengxenye kwaba ithonya lomuntu omdala uZakariya, iBhayibheli elimchaza ngokuthi “umfundisi wokwesaba uNkulunkulu weqiniso.”—2 IziKronike 26:5.

Ingabe ingane yakho inaye umngane osekhulile oyedwa noma ngaphezulu onezindinganiso ezifana nezakho? Ungabi nomona ngomuntu ongaba ithonya eliwusizo njengalowo. Labo bangane bangayisiza ingane yakho yenze okulungile. Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Ohamba nabahlakaniphile uyohlakanipha.”—IzAga 13:20.

3 UMUZWA WOKUBA NOMTHWALO WEMFANELO

Kwamanye amazwe, umthetho uyenqaba ukuba intsha isebenze amahora angaphezu kwenani elithile ngesonto noma ukuba yenze izinhlobo ezithile zomsebenzi. Leyo mithetho yamiswa ukuze kuvikelwe izingane ekusebenzeni ngaphansi kwezimo eziyingozi—imithetho eyalethwa izinguquko kwezezimboni ezenzeka ngekhulu le-18 nele-19.

Nakuba imithetho elawula ukuqashwa kwezingane izivikela ezingozini nasekuxhashazweni, ezinye izazi zithi le mithetho iyazivimbela nasekuthwaleni imithwalo yazo yemfanelo. Incwadi ethi Escaping the Endless Adolescence ithi, ngenxa yalokho intsha eningi iba “nomuzwa wokuthi kufanele yenzelwe izinto, izibona ifanelwe ukunikwa izinto ingazange izisebenzele.” Laba balobi baphawula ukuthi lesi simo sengqondo “sibonakala siyindlela engokwemvelo ekuphileni kwaleli zwe elithambekele ekujabuliseni intsha kunokuba lilindele okuthile kuyo.”

Ngokuphambene, iBhayibheli likhuluma ngentsha eyathwala imithwalo yemfanelo esindayo isencane. Cabanga ngoThimothewu, cishe owayesengumfanyana lapho ehlangana nomphostoli uPawulu—indoda eyaba nethonya elikhulu kuye. Ngesinye isikhathi uPawulu watshela uThimothewu: ‘Sivuthele njengomlilo isipho sikaNkulunkulu esikuwe.’ (2 Thimothewu 1:6) Cishe lapho esesondele emashumini amabili eminyaka noma esanda kweva kuwo, uThimothewu wahamba ekhaya futhi wajikeleza nomphostoli uPawulu, emsiza ekumiseni amabandla nasekukhuthazeni abazalwane. Ngemva kweminyaka eyishumi esebenza noThimothewu, uPawulu wayengatshela amaKristu aseFilipi ukuthi: “Anginaye omunye onesimo esinjengesakhe oyozinakekela ngobuqotho izinto eziphathelene nani.”—Filipi 2:20.

Ngokuvamile, intsha iyakulangazelela ukuthwala imithwalo yemfanelo, ikakhulukazi uma inomuzwa wokuthi ukwenza kanjalo kuhilela umsebenzi onenjongo nofeza okuthile. Lokhu akugcini ngokuqeqesha intsha ukuba ikwazi ukuzimela lapho isikhulile kodwa kuveza nezimfanelo zayo ezinhle ngisho kwamanje.

Ukuzivumelanisa “Nesimo” Esisha

Njengoba kuphawuliwe ekuqaleni kwalesi sihloko, uma ungumzali wosemusha, cishe uyezwa ukuthi “isimo” obhekene naso sehlukile kuleso obekuyiso eminyakeni embalwa edlule. Qiniseka ukuthi ungakwazi ukuzivumelanisa naso, njengoba ukwazile phakathi nezinye izigaba zokukhula kwengane yakho.

Bheka le nkathi yobusha njengethuba (1) lokuyisiza ihlakulele amandla okuqonda, (2) ukuyinika isiqondiso esivela kumuntu omdala, (3) kanye nokugxilisa kuyo umuzwa wokuba nomthwalo wemfanelo. Ngokwenza kanjalo uyobe ulungiselela ingane yakho ukuba ibe ngumuntu omdala.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Ibhokisi/Isithombe ekhasini 20]

“ANGICABANGI UKUTHI NGINGABA NABAZALI ABANGCONO KUNALABA”

Ngalokho abakushoyo nangezenzo zabo, abazali abangoFakazi BakaJehova bafundisa izingane zabo ukuphila ngezimiso zeBhayibheli. (Efesu 6:4) Kodwa, abaziphoqi ukuba zenze abakushoyo. Abazali abangamaKristu bayazi ukuthi indodana noma indodakazi, lapho isikhulile, kumelwe izinqumele ukuthi izophila ngaziphi izindinganiso.

U-Aislyn, oneminyaka engu-18, ukhethe ukuphila ngezindinganiso akhuliswa ngazo. Uthi: “Kimina, inkolo yami ayiyona nje into engiyenza ngosuku olulodwa ngesonto. Iyindlela yami yokuphila. Ithonya konke engikwenzayo nazo zonke izinqumo engizenzayo—kusukela kubangane kuye ezifundweni engizenzayo nasezincwadini engizifundayo.”

U-Aislyn uyazisa kakhulu indlela abazali bakhe abangamaKristu abamkhulise ngayo. Uthi: “Angicabangi ukuthi ngingaba nabazali abangcono kunalaba, futhi nginenhlanhla ngokuthi bagxilise kimi isifiso sokuhlala nginguFakazi KaJehova. Abazali bami bayohlale beyithonya kimi uma nje ngisaphila.”

[Isithombe ekhasini 17]

Yivumele ingane yakho ikhulume

[Isithombe ekhasini 18]

Umngane osekhulile angaba ithonya elihle enganeni yakho

[Isithombe ekhasini 19]

Umsebenzi onenjongo usiza izingane zibe abantu abadala abakwaziyo ukuthwala imithwalo yemfanelo