Isahluko 15

Ukwakha Umkhaya Odumisa UNkulunkulu

1-3. Kungani abanye bengakwazi ukuxazulula izinkinga ezivamile emshadweni nasekubeni abazali, kodwa kungani iBhayibheli lingasiza?

AKE sithi uhlela ukuzakhela indlu yakho siqu. Uthenga indawo. Umagange impela, ubona indlu yakho entsha ngeso lengqondo. Kodwa kuthiwani uma ungenawo amathuluzi namakhono okwakha? Yeka ukuthi imizamo yakho ibingakhungathekisa kanjani!

² Imibhangqwana eminingi ingenela umshado inombono womkhaya ojabulayo, kodwa ayinawo amathuluzi namakhono adingekayo ukuze iwakhe. Ngemva nje kosuku lomshado, kuvela imikhuba engemihle. Ukulwa nokuxabana kuba inqubo yansuku zonke. Lapho kuzalwa abantwana, laba abasanda kuba ubaba nomama bathola ukuthi abanalo ikhono lokuba abazali njengoba bengenalo elokuphumelelisa umshado.

³ Nokho, ngokujabulisayo iBhayibheli lingasiza. Izimiso zalo zinjengamathuluzi akwenza ukwazi ukwakha umkhaya ojabulayo. (IzAga 24:3) Ake sibone ukuthi kanjani.

AMATHULUZI OKWAKHA UMSHADO OJABULISAYO

 4. Kungani izinkinga zingalindeleka emshadweni, futhi yiziphi izindinganiso ezinikezwa eBhayibhelini?

⁴ Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi abantu ababili abashadile babonakala befanelana kanjani, abefani ngesimo esingokomzwelo, okuhlangenwe nakho kwasebuntwaneni, nangesizinda somkhaya. Ngakho-ke, kulindelekile ukuba kube nezinkinga ezithile ngemva komshado. Ziyosingathwa kanjani? Lapho abakhi bakha indlu, babuka amapulani. Ayiziqondiso okumelwe zilandelwe. IBhayibheli linikeza izindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu zokwakha umkhaya ojabulayo. Manje ake sihlole ezimbalwa zazo.

 5. IBhayibheli likugcizelela kanjani ukubaluleka kokwethembeka emshadweni?

⁵ Ukwethembeka. UJesu wathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu akubophele ndawonye ejokeni makungahlukaniswa muntu.”a (Mathewu 19:6) Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Umshado mawudunyiswe phakathi kwabo bonke, nombhede womshado ungabi nakungcola, ngoba uNkulunkulu uyokwahlulela izifebe neziphingi.” (Heberu 13:4) Ngakho-ke abantu abashadile kumelwe bazizwe benesibopho kuJehova sokuhlala bethembekile kubangane babo bomshado.—Genesise 39:7-9.

 6. Ukwethembeka kuyosiza kanjani ekulondolozeni umshado?

⁶ Ukwethembeka kwenza umshado ube nesithunzi nokulondeka. Abangane bomshado abathembekile bayazi ukuthi, noma kungenzekani, bayosekelana. (UmShumayeli 4:9-12) Yeka ukuthi bahluke kanjani kulabo abashiya umshado wabo lapho kuqala kuphakama inkinga! Abantu abanjalo bayashesha ukuphetha ngokuthi ‘bakhetha umuntu ongafanele,’ ukuthi ‘abasathandani,’ ukuthi ikhambi kungaba umngane omusha. Kodwa lokhu akunikezi noma yimuphi kubo ithuba lokukhula. Kunalokho, abantu abanjalo abangathembekile bangase baye nalezo zinkinga kubangane abasha bomshado. Lapho umuntu enendlu enhle kodwa athole ukuthi uphahla luyavuza, nakanjani uzama ukululungisa. Akamane nje athuthele kwenye indlu. Ngokufanayo, ukushintsha umngane akuyona indlela yokuxazulula izinkinga ezibangela ingxabano emshadweni. Lapho kuphakama izinkinga, ungazami ukuphuma emshadweni, kodwa kulwele ngokuzikhandla ukuwulondoloza. Ukwethembeka okunjalo kwenza lobu buhlobo bube okuthile okufanele kulondolozwe, kugcinwe, futhi kwaziswe.

 7. Kungani ukukhulumisana kuvame ukuba nzima kubantu abashadile, kodwa ukugqoka “ubuntu obusha” kungasiza kanjani?

⁷ Ukukhulumisana. “Lapho kungekho khona ukululekana, amasu ayachitheka,” kusho isaga seBhayibheli. (IzAga 15:22) Nokho, ukukhulumisana kunzima kweminye imibhangqwana eshadile. Kungani kunjalo? Kungenxa yokuthi abantu banezindlela ezihlukene zokukhulumisana. Leli iphuzu elivame ukuholela ekungaqondanini nasekukhungathekeni okukhulu. Indlela umuntu akhula ngayo ingaba nengxenye kulokhu. Ngokwesibonelo, abanye kungenzeka bakhula abazali babo bexabana njalo. Manje njengabantu abadala abashadile, bangase bangazi ukuthi bakhulume kanjani nomngane wabo womshado ngendlela yomusa neyothando. Noma kunjalo, umuzi wakho akudingekile ugcine ‘usuyindlu egcwele ukuxabana.’ (IzAga 17:1) IBhayibheli ligcizelela ukugqoka “ubuntu obusha,” futhi alikuthetheleli ukufutheka okubi, ukuklabalasa, nenkulumo echaphayo.—Efesu 4:22-24, 31.

 8. Yini engasiza lapho ningezwani nomngane wakho womshado?

⁸ Yini ongayenza lapho ningezwani? Uma seniqala ukuhluthuka imimoya, uyobe wenza kahle uma ulalela iseluleko sezAga 17:14: “Yeka inkani, ingakashisi.” Yebo, ungase uyibekele esinye isikhathi leyo ngxoxo, lapho umoya wakho nowomngane wakho sewehlile. (UmShumayeli 3:1, 7) Kunoma yikuphi, lwela ‘ukushesha ngokuphathelene nokuzwa, wephuze ngokuphathelene nokukhuluma, wephuze ngokuphathelene nolaka.’ (Jakobe 1:19) Umgomo wakho kufanele kube ukulungisa isimo, hhayi ukunqoba impikiswano. (Genesise 13:8, 9) Khetha amazwi nendlela yokukhuluma ezokwehlisa umoya wakho nowomngane wakho. (IzAga 12:18; 15:1, 4; 29:11) Ngaphezu kwakho konke, ningahlali nisesimweni sokuthukuthela, kodwa funani usizo ngokukhuluma noNkulunkulu ngomthandazo wokuthobeka nindawonye.—Efesu 4:26, 27; 6:18.

 9. Kungani kungase kuthiwe ukukhulumisana kuqala enhliziyweni?

⁹ Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Inhliziyo yohlakaniphileyo iyafundisa umlomo wakhe, yenezele imfundiso ezindebeni zakhe.” (IzAga 16:23) Khona-ke, empeleni isihluthulelo sokukhulumisana ngokuphumelelayo sisenhliziyweni, hhayi emlonyeni. Siyini isimo sakho sengqondo ngomngane wakho womshado? IBhayibheli likhuthaza amaKristu ukuba abonise “ukuzwelana.” (1 Petru 3:8) Ingabe ungakwenza lokhu lapho umngane wakho ebhekene nokukhathazeka okucindezelayo? Uma kunjalo, kuyokusiza ukuba wazi ukuthi ungaphendula kanjani.—Isaya 50:4.

10, 11. Indoda ingasisebenzisa kanjani iseluleko esikweyoku-1 Petru 3:7?

¹⁰ Udumo nenhlonipho. Amadoda angamaKristu atshelwa ukuba ahlale nomkawo “ngokolwazi, nibanika udumo njengesitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana, isifazane.” (1 Petru 3:7) Ukwazisa komuntu umkakhe kuhilela ukuqaphela ukubaluleka kwakhe. Indoda ehlala nomkayo “ngokolwazi” iyikhathalela kakhulu imizwa yakhe, amandla, ukukhalipha, nesithunzi. Futhi kufanele ifune ukwazi indlela uJehova ababheka ngayo abesifazane nendlela afuna baphathwe ngayo.

¹¹ Ake sithi endlini yakho unesitsha esiwusizo esifa kalula. Ubungeke yini usiphathe ngokucophelela okukhulu? Eqinisweni, uPetru wasebenzisa inkulumo ethi ‘isitsha esibuthakathaka’ ngalowo mqondo, futhi lokhu kufanele kushukumisele indoda engumKristu ukuba ibonise ukukhathalela kothando ngomkayo othandekayo.

12. Umfazi angabonisa kanjani ukuthi umhlonipha ngokujulile umyeni wakhe?

¹² Kodwa yisiphi iseluleko iBhayibheli elisinikeza umfazi? UPawulu wabhala: “Umfazi kufanele abe nenhlonipho ejulile ngomyeni wakhe.” (Efesu 5:33) Njengoba nje umfazi edinga ukukuzwa ukuthi uyaziswa futhi uthandwa kakhulu umngane wakhe womshado, indoda idinga ukukuzwa ukuthi iyahlonishwa umkayo. Umfazi ohloniphayo ngeke asakaze ngokungacabangi amaphutha omyeni wakhe, noma ngabe ungumKristu noma cha. Ngeke amehlise isithunzi ngokumgxeka nokumlulaza ngasese noma phambi kwabantu.—1 Thimothewu 3:11; 5:13.

13. Imibono ingavezwa kanjani ngendlela enokuthula?

¹³ Lokhu akusho ukuthi umfazi ngeke aveze imibono yakhe. Uma kunokuthile okungamphathi kahle, angakwethula ngenhlonipho. (Genesise 21:9-12) Ukudlulisela umbono kumyeni wakhe kungase kufaniswe nokumphonsela ibhola. Angase aliphonse kahle ukuze alibambe kalula, noma alijikijele ngamandla lize limlimaze. Yeka ukuthi kuba ngcono kanjani lapho bobabili abangane bomshado begwema ukujikijelana ngamazwi bebekana icala, kodwa kunalokho, bakhulume ngendlela enomusa nenothando!—Mathewu 7:12; Kolose 4:6; 1 Petru 3:3, 4.

14. Yini okufanele uyenze uma umngane wakho womshado engenandaba nokusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli emshadweni?

¹⁴ Njengoba sibonile, izimiso zeBhayibheli zingakusiza ukuba wakhe umshado ojabulisayo. Kodwa kuthiwani uma umngane wakho womshado engabonisi sithakazelo kulokho iBhayibheli elikushoyo? Kuningi okusengafezwa uma usebenzisa ulwazi ngoNkulunkulu kweyakho indima. UPetru wabhala: “Nani bafazi, zithobeni kubayeni benu siqu, ukuze kuthi, uma bekhona abangalilaleli izwi, bazuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngokuziphatha kwabafazi babo, ngoba beye baba ofakazi bokuzibonela bokuziphatha kwenu okumsulwa kanye nenhlonipho ejulile.” (1 Petru 3:1, 2) Yebo, lokho kungasebenza nasendodeni enomfazi ongenandaba neBhayibheli. Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi umngane wakho womshado ukhetha ukwenzani, vumela izimiso zeBhayibheli zenze wena ube umngane womshado ongcono. Futhi ulwazi ngoNkulunkulu lungakwenza ube umzali ongcono.

UKUKHULISA ABANTWANA NGOKUVUMELANA NOLWAZI NGONKULUNKULU

15. Ngezinye izikhathi izindlela ezinamaphutha zokukhulisa abantwana zidluliswa kanjani, kodwa lesi siyingi singanqanyulwa kanjani?

¹⁵ Ukuba nje nesaha noma isando akwenzi umuntu abe umbazi onekhono. Ngokufanayo, ukuba nje nabantwana akwenzi umuntu abe umzali onekhono. Bazi noma bengazi, ngokuvamile abazali bakhulisa abantababo ngendlela bona abakhuliswa ngayo. Ngakho, izindlela zokukhulisa abantwana ezinamaphutha ngezinye izikhathi zidluliswa zisuka kwesinye isizukulwane ziye kwesilandelayo. Isaga sasendulo sesiHeberu sithi: “Oyise badlile izithelo zomvini ezimuncu, amazinyo abantwana aba-bushelezi.” Nokho, imiBhalo ibonisa ukuthi umuntu akudingekile ukuba alandele inkambo eyamiswa abazali bakhe. Angayikhetha indlela ehlukile, ebuswa imithetho kaJehova.—Hezekeli 18:2, 14, 17.

16. Kungani kubalulekile ukondla umkhaya wakho, futhi lokhu kuhlanganisani?

¹⁶ UJehova ulindele ukuba abazali abangamaKristu banikeze abantababo isiqondiso esifanele nokunakekela. UPawulu wabhala: “Ngokuqinisekile uma noma ubani engabondli abakubo siqu, futhi ikakhulukazi labo abangamalungu endlu yakhe, uluphikile ukholo futhi mubi kakhulu kunomuntu ongenalo ukholo.” (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Yeka amazwi anamandla! Ukufeza indima yakho njengomondli, okuhlanganisa nokunakekela izidingo zabantabakho ezingokwenyama, ezingokomoya, nezingokomzwelo, kuyilungelo nomthwalo wemfanelo womuntu ohlonipha uNkulunkulu. IBhayibheli linikeza izimiso ezingasiza abazali balungiselele abantababo izimo ezijabulisayo. Cabangela ezinye zazo.

17. Yini edingekayo ukuze abantabakho babe nomthetho kaNkulunkulu ezinhliziyweni zabo?

¹⁷ Beka isibonelo esihle. Abazali bakwa-Israyeli bayalwa: “Ubafundise impela [amazwi kaNkulunkulu] abantabakho, uwakhulume lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni, nalapho ulala, nalapho uvuka.” Abazali kwakumelwe bafundise abantababo izindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu. Kodwa lesi siyalo sasandulelwe yilenkulumo: “Lawamazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla ayakuba-senhliziyweni yakho.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7, omalukeke sizenzele.) Yebo, abazali ngeke banikeze lokho abangenakho. Imithetho kaNkulunkulu kumelwe iqale ilotshwe ezinhliziyweni zenu siqu uma nifuna ukuba ilotshwe ezinhliziyweni zabantabenu.—IzAga 20:7; qhathanisa noLuka 6:40.

18. Ekuboniseni uthando, uJehova ubabekela kanjani isibonelo esihle kakhulu abazali?

¹⁸ Nikeza isiqinisekiso sothando lwakho. Lapho kubhapathizwa uJesu, uJehova wathi: “Wena uyiNdodana yami, ethandekayo; ngikwamukele.” (Luka 3:22) Ngaleyondlela uJehova wayivuma iNdodana yakhe, ezwakalisa ngokukhululekile ukuyamukela futhi enikeza isiqinisekiso sothando lwaKhe. UJesu kamuva wathi kuYisê: “Wangithanda ngaphambi kokusungulwa kwezwe.” (Johane 17:24) Khona-ke, njengabazali abahlonipha uNkulunkulu, tshelani futhi nibonise abantabenu ukuthi niyabathanda—futhi nikwenze njalo lokhu. Khumbulani njalo ukuthi “uthando luyakha.”—1 Korinte 8:1.

19, 20. Yini ehilelekile ekuyaleni abantwana ngokufanele, futhi abazali bangazuza kanjani esibonelweni sikaJehova?

¹⁹ Ukuyala. IBhayibheli ligcizelela ukubaluleka kokuyala ngothando. (IzAga 1:8) Abazali ababalekela umthwalo wabo wemfanelo wokuqondisa abantababo manje cishe nakanjani bayobhekana nemiphumela edabukisayo esikhathini esizayo. Kodwa, abazali baxwayiswa nangokweqisa. “Nina bobaba,” kubhala uPawulu, “ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, ukuze bangadangali.” (Kolose 3:21) Abazali kumelwe bagweme ukubajezisa ngokweqile abantababo noma bababelesele njalo ngokushiyeka kwabo futhi bagxeke imizamo yabo.

²⁰ UJehova uNkulunkulu, uBaba wethu osezulwini, ubeka isibonelo sokunikeza isiyalo. Ukujezisa kwakhe akulokothi kweqise. UNkulunkulu watshela abantu bakhe: “Ngiyakukulaya [kuze kube sezingeni elifanele, NW].” (Jeremiya 46:28) Abazali kufanele balingise uJehova kulokhu. Ukuyala okudlula imingcele efanele noma okuba ngalé kwenjongo ehlosiwe yokujezisa nokufundisa kuyathukuthelisa ngempela.

21. Abazali banganquma kanjani ukuthi ukuyala kwabo kuyaphumelela yini noma cha?

²¹ Abazali banganquma kanjani ukuthi ukuyala kwabo kuyaphumelela noma cha? Bangase bazibuze, ‘Ukuyala kwami kufezani?’ Kufanele kufundise. Umntanakho kufanele aqonde ukuthi kungani eyalwa. Futhi abazali kufanele bakhathalele imiphumela yokujezisa kwabo. Yiqiniso, cishe bonke abantwana bayoqale bakucasukele ukuyalwa. (Heberu 12:11) Kodwa ukuyala akufanele neze kwenze umntwana azizwe esaba noma elahliwe noma kumshiye ecabanga ukuthi mubi ngokwemvelo. Ngaphambi kokujezisa abantu bakhe, uJehova wathi: “Ungesabi . . . ngokuba nginawe.” (Jeremiya 46:28) Yebo, isijeziso kufanele sikhishwe ngendlela eyokwenza umntwana wenu ezwe ukuthi ninaye njengabazali abanothando, nabasekelayo.

UKUTHOLA “ISIQONDISO ESINOBUHLAKANI”

22, 23. Ungasithola kanjani isiqondiso esidingekayo ekwakheni umkhaya ojabulayo?

²² Singabonga ngokuthi uJehova uye walungiselela amathuluzi esiwadingayo ukuze sakhe umkhaya ojabulayo. Kodwa ukuba namathuluzi nje akwanele. Kumelwe sizijwayeze ukuwasebenzisa kahle. Ngokwesibonelo, umakhi angase aqale ukuba nemikhuba emibi endleleni aphatha ngayo amathuluzi akhe. Amanye awo angase awasebenzisele injongo engafanele ngokuphelele. Ngaphansi kwalezi zimo, izindlela zakhe cishe ziyophumela emkhiqizweni osezingeni eliphansi. Ngokufanayo, kungenzeka manje ubona imikhuba engemihle engene ngokunyenya emkhayeni wakho. Eminye kungenzeka isigxile kakhulu futhi kunzima ukuyikhipha. Nokho, lalela iseluleko seBhayibheli: “Ohlakaniphileyo [uyokuzwa], aqhubeke ekufundeni, noqondileyo athole [isiqondiso esinobuhlakani, NW].”—IzAga 1:5.

²³ Ungathola isiqondiso esinobuhlakani ngokuqhubeka ungenisa ulwazi ngoNkulunkulu. Shesha ukuziqaphela izimiso zeBhayibheli ezisebenza ekuphileni komkhaya, futhi wenze ukulungisa lapho kudingeke khona. Phawula amaKristu avuthiwe abeka isibonelo esihle njengabangane bomshado nabazali. Xoxa nawo. Ngaphezu kwakho konke, yisa ukukhathazeka kwakho kuJehova ngomthandazo. (IHubo 55:22; Filipi 4:6, 7) Angakusiza ukuba ube nokuphila komkhaya okujabulisayo nokumdumisayo.

[Imibhalo waphansi]

HLOLA ULWAZI LWAKHO

Ukwethembeka, ukukhulumisana, udumo, nenhlonipho kunayiphi ingxenye emshadweni ojabulisayo?

Yiziphi izindlela abazali abangaqinisekisa ngazo abantababo ngothando lwabo?

Yiziphi izici ezihilelekile ekuyaleni ngokufanele?

[Isithombe esigcwele ikhasi ekhasini 147]