Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ngingayilawula Kanjani Imizwa Yami?

“Ngiye ngibathukuthelele kabi abazali bami bese ngithuka sengikhulumé izinto ebengingaqonde kuzikhuluma. Ngiye ngibagweme kuze kube yilapho igwebu selehlile.”—UKate, oneminyaka engu-13.

“Inkinga enkulu kunazo zonke engishikashikana nayo ukungazethembi. Ngezinye izikhathi ngiye ngizwe umoya wami ufa ngaphakathi.”—U-Ivan, oneminyaka engu-19.

IMIZWA inamandla. Ingathinta indlela ocabanga ngayo nendlela owenza ngayo izinto. Ingakushukumisela ukuba wenze okuhle nokubi. Ngezinye izikhathi, ingase ibonakale ilawula konke ukucabanga kwakho. “Angijabuli neze ngami ngokwami,” kusho uJacob oneminyaka engu-20. “Ngokuvamile ngiye ngihluleke ukufeza izinto engilindele ukuba ngizifinyelele. Ngezinye izikhathi ngivele ngikhale nje, noma ngithukuthele kakhulu bese ngikhiphela ulaka lwami kubo bonke abantu abaseduze kwami. Kunzima kakhulu ukulawula imizwa yami.”

Nokho, ukufunda ukulawula imizwa yakho kuyingxenye yokuba ngumuntu omdala ovuthiwe futhi ohluzekile engqondweni. Abanye ochwepheshe manje bacabanga ukuthi ikhono lokukwazi ukulawula imizwa nelokukwazi ukusebenzelana kahle nabantu libaluleke kakhulu kunokuhlakanipha. Nokho-ke, iBhayibheli ngokwalo likugcizelela kakhulu ukubaluleka kokuba umuntu akwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe. Ngokwesibonelo, izAga 25:28 zithi: “Uma ungakwazi ukulawula intukuthelo yakho, awuvikelekile, unjengomuzi ongenaludonga, ochayeke engozini yokuhlaselwa.” (Today’s English Version) Yini eyenza ukulawula imizwa kube nzima kangaka?

Inselele Intsha Ebhekene Nayo

Bonke abantu kungakhathaliseki ubudala babo nesizinda bashikashikana nokulawula imizwa yabo. Kodwa lo mshikashika ungaba inselele kakhulu lapho umuntu esuka eminyakeni yobusha edlulela ebudaleni. Incwadi kaRuth Bell ethi Changing Bodies, Changing Lives ithi: “Intsha eningi iba nemizwa ephithene, izizwa sengathi iyasangana, izizwe ijabule, izizwe yesaba. Abantu abaningi bazizwa ngezindlela ezihlukahlukene ngezinto ezifanayo ngesikhathi esifanayo. . . . Ngalo mzuzu ungase uzizwe ngale ndlela, bese kuthi ngomzuzu olandelayo uzizwe ngendlela ehluke ngokuphelele.”

Kanti futhi njengoba usemusha, awukabi nalo ulwazi. (IzAga 1:4) Ngakho, njengoba ubhekana nezimo ezintsha nezinselele ongakaze ubhekane nazo ngaphambili, kuyovele kuzenzekele nje ukuba ungazethembi ngandlela-thile, uzizwe uphelelwa amandla. Okujabulisayo ukuthi uMdali wakho uyiqonda kahle imizwa yakho. Wazi ngisho ‘nemicabango yakho ekuncisha ukuthula.’ (IHubo 139:23) EZwini lakhe uye wasinikeza izimiso ezithile ezingaba usizo.

Isihluthulelo Sokulawula Imizwa

Isihluthulelo sokulawula imizwa yakho ukufunda ukulawula imicabango yakho. Imicabango emibi ingakuqeda amandla owadingayo ukuze uthathe isinyathelo esithile. (IzAga 24:10) Kodwa ungakufunda kanjani ukucabanga izinto ezakhayo eziyokusiza ukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho?

Enye indlela iwukuba ungazivumeli ukuba uhlale ucabanga izinto ezimbi ezikwenza uzizwe ucindezelekile noma ungavikelekile. Ngokulandela iseluleko seBhayibheli sokugxila ezintweni ‘ezibaluleke ngempela nezilungileyo,’ ungakwazi ukucabanga ngezinto ezakhayo esikhundleni sokuba uhlale ucabanga izinto ezimbi. (Filipi 4:8) Kungase kungabi lula ukukwenza lokhu, kodwa ngomzamo ungakwazi.

Cabanga ngentokazi egama layo linguJasmine. Yake yathi: “Ngizizwa ngiphelelwa amandla uma ngicabanga ngakho konke lokho engibhekene nakho. Umsebenzi omusha nemithwalo yemfanelo emisha. Sengitubeke ngaphela ngokomzwelo. Ngikuthola kunzima ukuthatha ikhefu.” Akumangazi uma osemusha ezizwa ngaleyo ndlela ngezinye izikhathi, futhi lo muzwa ungenza umuntu angazethembi noma azenyeze. IBhayibheli lisitshela ngensizwa egama layo linguThimothewu, eyayikufanelekela kahle kakhulu ukwenza yonke imisebenzi eyayithweswe yona. Kodwa kubonakala sengathi yayishikashikana nomuzwa wokuthi ayifaneleki.—1 Thimothewu 4:11-16; 2 Thimothewu 1:6, 7.

Kungenzeka ukuthi uye ungazethembi lapho ubhekene nomsebenzi omusha noma ongawujwayele. Ungase uthi: ‘Angisoze ngakwazi ukuyenza le nto.’ Kodwa ungakwazi ukuyilawula leyo mizwa yokungazethembi ngokuba ungakuvumeli ukuhlala ucabanga ngezinto ezimbi. Gxilisa ingqondo yakho ekufundeni ikhono lokwenza lowo msebenzi kahle. Buza futhi ulandela iziqondiso.—IzAga 1:5, 7.

Njengoba uya uwazi kahle umsebenzi, uyoya ngokuya uncipha nalowo muzwa onawo wokungazethembi. Ungagxili ezintweni ongakwazi ukuzenza kuze kukuthiye ekwenzeni umzamo wokuthuthuka. Ngesinye isikhathi lapho umphostoli uPawulu egxekwa, waphendula: “Ngisho noma ngingenalo ikhono ekukhulumeni, ngokuqinisekile angiyena ongenalo olwazini.” (2 Korinte 10:10; 11:6) Nawe ngokufanayo ungakha ukuzethemba kwakho ngokuqaphela izinto okwazi ukuzenza bese ucela usizo kuNkulunkulu ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nalezi zinto ongakwazi ukuzenza. UNkulunkulu angakusiza ngempela, njengoba nje abasiza nabanye abantu esikhathini esidlule.—Eksodusi 4:10.

Enye indlela engakusiza ukwazi ukulawula imizwa yakho ukuba uzibekele imigomo enokulinganisela, efinyelelekayo futhi ukwamukele ukuthi awunawo amandla okwenza zonke izinto. Futhi gwema ukuziqhathanisa ngokungafanele nabanye abantu. Encwadini yabaseGalathiya 6:4, iBhayibheli leluleka kahle lapho lithi: “Yilowo nalowo makahlole umsebenzi wakhe siqu, khona-ke uyoba nesizathu sokwethaba ngokuqondene naye yedwa, hhayi ngokuziqhathanisa nomunye umuntu.”

Ukwehlisa Ulaka

Ukulawula ulaka kungaba enye inselele enzima. NjengoKate, okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, intukuthelo yenza abantu abaningi abasebasha bakhulume futhi benze izinto ezibaphatha kabi abanye noma ezibalimazayo.

Yiqiniso, kungokwemvelo ukuba umuntu athukuthele ngezinye izikhathi. Kodwa kumelwe sikhumbule umbulali wokuqala, uKhayini. Lapho ‘evutha intukuthelo enkulu,’ uNkulunkulu wamxwayisa ethi le ntukuthelo yayingase imholele esonweni esibi kakhulu. UNkulunkulu wabuza uKhayini: “Wena-ke, ingabe uzosihlula?” (Genesise 4:5-7) UKhayini akazange asilalele lesi seluleko sikaNkulunkulu, kodwa ngosizo lwakhe wena ungakwazi ukunqoba intukuthelo, ugweme isono!

Nalokhu futhi kusho ukulawula imicabango yakho. Encwadini yezAga 19:11, iBhayibheli lithi: “Ukuqondisisa komuntu ngokuqinisekile kubambezela intukuthelo yakhe, futhi kungubuhle kuye ukweqa isiphambeko.” Lapho umuntu ekucasula, zama ukuqonda ukuthi kungani enze ngaleyo ndlela. Ingabe lowo muntu ubezama ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu ngamabomu? Kungenzeka yini ukuthi wenze lokho engacabanganga noma enganakile? Ukubekezelela amaphutha abanye kubonisa umusa kaNkulunkulu, futhi kungakusiza ukuba wehlise ulaka.

Nokho, kuthiwani uma unesizathu esizwakalayo sokuthukuthela? ImiBhalo ithi: “Thukuthelani, kodwa ningoni.” (Efesu 4:26) Uma kudingeka, xoxa ngaleyo ndaba nalowo muntu. (Mathewu 5:23, 24) Noma okungcono ongase ukwenze ukuba umane uyikhohlwe leyo ndaba—uyeke ukuthukuthela bese uqhubeka nokuphila kwakho.

Kubalulekile futhi ukuqaphela ukuthi abangane bakho bangaba nethonya endleleni obhekana ngayo nezinto ezikuthukuthelisayo. Kungakho iBhayibheli lisiqondisa: “Ungabi nabungane nanoma ubani othambekele entukuthelweni; futhi ungangeni nomuntu onesifuthefuthe sentukuthelo, ukuze ungajwayelani nezindlela zakhe futhi ngokuqinisekile uthathele umphefumulo wakho ugibe.”—IzAga 22:24, 25.

Ukuba phakathi kwabantu abenza umzamo wokulawula intukuthelo yabo kungakusiza ukuba nawe ukwazi ukuzithiba. Amabandla obuKristu oFakazi BakaJehova agcwele abantu abanjalo abavuthiwe, abaningi babo asebekhulile futhi abanolwazi oluningi kunawe. Jwayelana nabanye babo. Bheka indlela ababhekana ngayo nezinkinga. Bangase bakwazi ‘nokukuqondisa ngendlela enekhono’ lapho ubhekene nobunzima. (IzAga 24:6) UJacob, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uyalandisa: “Umngane ovuthiwe okwazi ukungikhumbuza iZwi likaNkulunkulu uyigugu. Lapho ngikhumbula ukuthi uJehova uyangithanda yize ngingazethembi, ngiye ngikwazi ukulawula imizwa yami ngihlale ngizolile.”

Ezinye Izinyathelo Eziwusizo Ongazithatha

Enye incwadi ethandwayo yokuvivinya umzimba ithi: “Ukuhlola okuningi okuye kwenziwa kuye kwabonisa ukuthi indlela oshukumisa ngayo umzimba wakho ithonya imizwa yakho ngokuhlangana kwamakhemikhali emzimbeni wakho. Amazinga ama-hormone nawomoya-mpilo emzimbeni ayashintsha onke kuye ngezindlela oshukumisa ngazo umzimba.” Khona-ke akungabazeki nakancu ukuthi ukuvivinya umzimba kuyazuzisa. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukuvivinya umzimba kunenzuzo ethile.” (1 Thimothewu 4:8, Today’s English Version) Kungaba njani-ke uzenzele isimiso esingeqisi sokuvivinya umzimba njalo? Kungaba nemiphumela emihle endleleni ozizwa ngayo. Ukudla ukudla okunempilo njalo nakho kungakuzuzisa.

Cabangela futhi umculo nezinto zokuzilibazisa ozikhethayo. Imiphumela yocwaningo eyakhishwa kuyi-Harvard Mental Health Letter yathi: “Ukubukela ubudlova . . . ngokuvamile kuvusa intukuthelo nemizwa yobudlova. . . . Abantu ababebukela amabhayisikobho obudlova babecabanga kakhulu ngobudlova futhi umfutho wabo wegazi wawenyuka kakhulu.” Ngakho-ke khetha ngokuhlakanipha uma kuziwa kulokho okulalelayo nalokho okubukelayo.—IHubo 1:1-3; 1 Korinte 15:33.

Ekugcineni, indlela engcono kunazo zonke yokufunda ukulawula imizwa yakho ukwakha ubuhlobo obuseduze noMdali wakho. Umema ngamunye wethu ukuba akhulume naye ngomthandazo, athululele kuye imizwa yakhe. Umphostoli uPawulu wanikeza lesi sikhuthazo: ‘Ningakhathazeki ngalutho, izicelo zenu mazaziwe nguNkulunkulu; ukuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga kuyolinda izinhliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo.’ Yebo, ungakwazi ukuthola amandla ngaphakathi kuwe ukuze ukwazi ukubhekana nanoma yisiphi isimo ekuphileni. Umphostoli uPawulu wanezela: “Nginamandla azo zonke izinto ngenxa yalowo ongipha amandla.”—Filipi 4:6, 7, 13.

UMalika osemusha uthi: “Ngiye ngafunda ukuthandaza ngokuphindaphindiwe. Ukwazi ukuthi uJehova uyangikhathalela kuyangisiza ngizole futhi ngikwazi kakhudlwana ukulawula imizwa yami.” Ngosizo lukaNkulunkulu, nawe ungafunda ukulawula imizwa yakho.

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 29]

Isihluthulelo sokulawula imizwa yakho ukufunda ukulawula imicabango yakho

[Isithombe ekhasini 30]

Ukujwayelana nabantu abadala kungakufundisa indlela yokulawula imizwa yakho