Isahluko Sesibili
Ukulungiselela Umshado Ophumelelayo
1, 2. (a) UJesu wakugcizelela kanjani ukubaluleka kokuhlela? (b) Ukuhlela kubaluleke kuyiphi indima ngokukhethekile?
UKWAKHA isakhiwo kudinga ukulungiselela kokucophelela. Ngaphambi kokuba kubekwe isisekelo, kumelwe kutholakale indawo futhi kudwetshwe amapulani. Nokho, kunokunye okubalulekile. UJesu wathi: “Ubani kini ofuna ukwakha umbhoshongo ongahlali phansi kuqala futhi abale izindleko, ukuze abone ukuthi unakho yini okwanele ukuba awuqede?”—Luka 14:28.
2 Okudingekile ekwakheni isakhiwo kudingekile nasekwakheni umshado ophumelelayo. Abaningi bathi: “Ngifuna ukushada.” Kodwa bangaki abamayo bacabangele okuhilelekile? Nakuba iBhayibheli likhuluma kahle ngomshado, lidonsela ukunakekela nasezinseleleni ozilethayo. (IzAga 18:22; 1 Korinte 7:28) Ngakho-ke, labo abacabangela ukushada kudingeka babe nombono ongokoqobo wakho kokubili izibusiso nokuhilelekile ekubeni oshadile.
3. Kungani iBhayibheli liwusizo olubalulekile kulabo abahlela ukushada, futhi imiphi imibuzo emithathu elizosisiza ukuba siyiphendule?
3 IBhayibheli lingasiza. Iseluleko salo siphefumulelwe uMsunguli womshado, uJehova uNkulunkulu. (Efesu 3:14, 15; 2 Thimothewu 3:16) Sisebenzisa izimiso ezitholakala kulencwadi yeziqondiso yasendulo nokho esebenzayo osukwini lwanamuhla, masithole ukuthi (1) Umuntu angabona kanjani ukuthi uwulungele yini umshado noma cha? (2) Yini okufanele ifunwe kumngane womshado? (3) Ukuthandana kungagcinwa kanjani kuhloniphekile?
INGABE UWULUNGELE UMSHADO?
4. Isiphi isici esibalulekile ekulondolozeni umshado ophumelelayo, futhi ngani?
4 Ukwakha isakhiwo kungase kubize, kodwa ukunakekela ukugcinwa kwaso sisesimweni esihle isikhathi eside nakho kuyizindleko. Kuyafana nangomshado. Ukushada kubonakala kuyinselele; nokho, ukulondoloza ubuhlobo bomshado unyaka ngamunye nakho kumelwe kucatshangelwe. Kuhilelani ukulondoloza ubuhlobo obunjalo? Isici esibalulekile ukuzibopha ngenhliziyo yonke. Nansi indlela iBhayibheli elibuchaza ngayo ubuhlobo bomshado: “Ngalokho indoda iyakushiya uyise nonina, inamathele kumkayo; bayakuba-nyamanye.” (Genesise 2:24) UJesu Kristu wanikeza isizathu esingokomBhalo okuwukuphela kwaso sesehlukaniso nethuba lokushada kabusha—‘ubufebe,’ okungukuthi, ubuhlobo bobulili obungemthetho ngaphandle komshado. (Mathewu 19:9) Uma ucabangela ukushada, khumbula lezi zimiso ezingokomBhalo. Uma ungasilungele lesi sibopho esingathi sína, khona-ke awuwulungele umshado.—Duteronomi 23:21; UmShumayeli 5:4, 5.
5. Nakuba ukuzibopha okungathi sína kubesabisa abanye, kungani kufanele bakwazise kakhulu labo abahlose ukushada?
5 Abaningi uyabesabisa umqondo wesibopho esingathi sína. “Ukwazi ukuthi sasingenakuhlukana konke ukuphila kwethu kwangenza ngazizwa ngivimbelekile, ngibiyelwe, ngivaleleke ngcí,” kuvuma enye insizwa. Kodwa uma umthanda ngempela umuntu ohlose ukushada naye, ukuzibopha ngeke kubonakale kuwumthwalo. Kunalokho kuyobhekwa njengomthombo wokulondeka. Umqondo wokuzibopha okubhekiselwe kuwo emshadweni uyokwenza umbhangqwana ufune ukuhlala ndawonye ngezikhathi ezimnandi nangezikhathi ezinzima futhi usekelane kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kwenzekani. Umphostoli uPawulu ongumKristu wabhala ukuthi uthando lweqiniso “lubekezelela zonke izinto” futhi “lukhuthazelela zonke izinto.” (1 Korinte 13:4, 7) “Isibopho somshado singenza ngizizwe ngilondeke ngokwengeziwe,” kusho omunye wesifazane. “Ngiyawuthanda umuzwa wokunethezeka obangelwa ukuthi sivumile kithi ngokwethu nasezweni ukuthi sizimisele ukunamathelana.”—UmShumayeli 4:9-12.
6. Kungani kungcono kakhulu ukungagijimeli emshadweni umuntu esemncane?
6 Ukuthembeka esibophweni esinjalo kudinga ukuvuthwa. Ngakho, uPawulu weluleka ngokuthi amaKristu enza kahle ngokungashadi kuze kube yilapho ‘esedlule ekuqhumeni kobusha,’ inkathi lapho imizwa yobulili inamandla khona futhi ingase isonte izinqumo zomuntu. (1 Korinte 7:36) Abantu abasha bashintsha ngokushesha njengoba bekhula. Abaningi abashada besebancane bathola ukuthi ngemva kweminyaka embalwa nje izidingo nezifiso zabo, kanye nalezo zabashade nabo, sezishintshile. Izibalo zembula ukuthi abasanda kweva eshumini nambili abashadayo kungenzeka bangajabuli futhi bafune isehlukaniso kunalabo abalinda isikhashana. Ngakho musa ukugijimela emshadweni. Iminyaka ethile oyichitha ungumuntu omdala osemusha ongashadile ingakunika okuhlangenwe nakho okuyigugu okuyokwenza uvuthwe ngokwengeziwe futhi ukufanelekele kangcono ukuba umngane womshado ofanelekayo. Ukungasheshi ushade kungakusiza ukuba uziqonde kangcono wena ngokwakho—into edingekile ukuze wakhe ubuhlobo obuphumelelayo emshadweni wakho.
ZAZI WENA KUQALA
7. Kungani labo abahlela ukushada kufanele bazihlole bona kuqala?
7 Ingabe ukuthola kulula ukusho uhlu lwezimfanelo ozifunayo kumuntu oyoshada naye? Kunjalo kwabaningi. Nokho, kuthiwani ngezakho izimfanelo? Iziphi izici onazo eziyokusiza ukuba unikele emshadweni ophumelelayo? Uyoba luhlobo luni lwendoda noma lwenkosikazi? Ngokwesibonelo, ingabe uwavuma kalula amaphutha akho futhi wamukele iseluleko, noma ingabe njalo uyazivikela lapho uqondiswa? Ingabe uvame ukuba oweneme nonethemba lokuhle njalo, noma ingabe uthambekele ekubeni onyukubele, okhononda njalo? (IzAga 8:33; 15:15) Khumbula, umshado ngeke ubushintshe ubuntu bakho. Uma ungumuntu ozazisayo, ozwela ngokweqile, noma onombono omubi ngokweqile ngezinto lapho ungakashadi, uyoba njalo nalapho usushadile. Njengoba kunzima ukuzibona ngendlela abanye abasibona ngayo, kungani ungaceli umzali noma umngane omethembayo ukuba akwembulele isifuba sakhe ngawe akunike nokusikisela? Uma uthola ukuthi kunezinguquko ongazenza, sebenzela kuzo ngaphambi kokuthatha izinyathelo zokushada.
8-10. Isiphi iseluleko iBhayibheli elisinikezayo esiyosiza umuntu ukuba alungiselele umshado?
8 IBhayibheli lisikhuthaza ukuba sivumele umoya ongcwele kaNkulunkulu usebenze kithi, uveze izimfanelo ‘ezinjengothando, injabulo, ukuthula, ukubhekakade, umusa, ubuhle, ukholo, ubumnene, ukuzithiba.’ Lisitshela futhi ukuba ‘senziwe basha emandleni ashukumisa ingqondo yethu’ nokuba ‘sigqoke ubuntu obusha obadalwa ngokwentando kaNkulunkulu ngokulunga kweqiniso nokwethembeka.’ (Galathiya 5:22, 23; Efesu 4:23, 24) Ukusebenzisa lesi seluleko lapho ungakashadi kuyofana nokubeka imali ebhange—into eyoba usizo olukhulu kakhulu esikhathini esizayo, lapho ushada.
9 Ngokwesibonelo, uma ungowesifazane, funda ukunaka ngokwengeziwe “umuntu osithekile wenhliziyo” kunokubonakala kwakho kwangaphandle. (1 Petru 3:3, 4) Isizotha nengqondo ehluzekile kuyokusiza ukuba ube nokuhlakanipha, “umqhele wodumo” wangempela. (IzAga 4:9; 31:10, 30; 1 Thimothewu 2:9, 10) Uma ungowesilisa, funda ukuphatha abesifazane ngendlela yomusa neyenhlonipho. (1 Thimothewu 5:1, 2) Lapho ufunda ukwenza izinqumo nokuthwala imithwalo yemfanelo, funda nokuba nesizotha nokuthobeka. Isimo sengqondo sobushiqela siyoholela enkathazweni emshadweni.—IzAga 29:23; Mika 6:8; Efesu 5:28, 29.
10 Nakuba ukuguqula ingqondo kulezi zici kungelula, kuyinto wonke amaKristu okufanele asebenzele kuyo. Kuyokusiza ukuba ube umngane womshado ongcono.
OKUFANELE UKUBHEKE KOFUNA UKUSHADA NAYE
11, 12. Abantu ababili bangathola kanjani ukuthi bayafanelana yini?
11 Ingabe lapho uhlala khona kuwumkhuba ukuba umuntu azikhethele umngane wakhe womshado? Uma kunjalo, kufanele wenze njani uma uthola othile wobulili obuhlukile ekhanga? Okokuqala, zibuze, ‘Ingabe ngempela inhloso yami iwukushada?’ Kuwunya ukudlala ngemizwa yomunye umuntu ngokuvusa amathemba angekho. (IzAga 13:12) Khona-ke zibuze, ‘Ingabe ngisesimweni sokushada?’ Uma impendulo inguyebo kuyo yomibili lemibuzo, izinyathelo ozithathayo ngokulandelayo ziyoya ngesiko lendawo. Kwamanye amazwe, ngemva kokumbheka isikhashana, ungase uye kulowo muntu uzwakalise isifiso sokuba nazane kangcono. Uma enqaba, musa ukuphikelela kuze kube seqophelweni lokuba ube isidina. Khumbula, naye unelungelo lokwenza isinqumo kulendaba. Nokho, uma evuma, ungase uhlele ukuba nichithe isikhathi ndawonye ezintweni ezinhle. Lokhu kuyokunika ithuba lokubona ukuthi ukushada nalomuntu kuwukuhlakanipha yini.a Yini okufanele uyibheke kuleli qophelo?
12 Ukuphendula lowo mbuzo, cabanga ngezinsimbi ezimbili zomculo, mhlawumbe upiyano nesiginci. Uma zilungiswe kahle, ngayinye ingakhipha umculo omnandi lapho idlalwa yodwa. Nokho, kwenzekani lapho lezi zinsimbi zidlalwa kanyekanye? Manje sekumelwe zivumelane zombili. Kuyinto efanayo nangawe nomuntu ofuna ukushada naye. Kungenzeka ukuthi ngamunye wenu usebenze kanzima ‘elungisa’ ubuntu bakhe eyedwa. Kodwa umbuzo manje uwukuthi: Ingabe niyavumelana nobabili? Ngamanye amazwi, niyafanelana yini?
13. Kungani kungekhona neze ukuhlakanipha ukuthandana nomuntu ongahlanganyeli ukholo lwakho?
13 Kubalulekile ukuba nobabili nibe nezinkolelo nezimiso ezifanayo. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Ningaboshelwa ngokungalingani ejokeni nabangewona amakholwa.” (2 Korinte 6:14; 1 Korinte 7:39) Ukushada nomuntu ongahlanganyeli ukholo lwakho kuNkulunkulu kuwenza abe makhulu amathuba okuba ningavumelani. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuzinikela okufanayo kuJehova uNkulunkulu kuyisisekelo sobunye esiqine kunazo zonke. UJehova ufuna ujabule futhi ube nesibopho esisondelene ngangokunokwenzeka nomuntu oshada naye. Ufuna ukuba unamathele kuYe futhi ninamathelane ngesibopho sothando esimicu-mithathu.—UmShumayeli 4:12.
14, 15. Ingabe ukuba nokholo olufanayo kuwukuphela kwesici sobunye emshadweni? Chaza.
14 Nakuba ukukhulekela uNkulunkulu ndawonye kuyisici sobunye esibaluleke kunazo zonke, kuhileleke okwengeziwe. Ukuze nifanelane, wena nofuna ukushada naye kufanele nibe nemigomo efanayo. Iyini imigomo yenu? Ngokwesibonelo, nizizwa kanjani ngokuba nabantwana? Iziphi izinto eziza kuqala ekuphileni kwenu?b (Mathewu 6:33) Emshadweni ophumelela ngempela, umbhangqwana ungabangane abakhulu futhi uyakujabulela ukuba ndawonye. (IzAga 17:17) Ukuze kube njalo, kudingeka nibe nezithakazelo ezifanayo. Kunzima ukugcina ubungane obuseduze—kungasaphathwa umshado—uma kungenjalo. Noma kunjalo, uma lowo ofuna ukushada naye ethanda umdlalo othile, njengokubhukuda, wena ungakuthandi, ingabe lokho kusho ukuthi akufanele nishade? Akunjalo ngempela. Mhlawumbe nihlanganyela ezinye izithakazelo ezibaluleke ngokwengeziwe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungamjabulisa lowo ofuna ukushada naye ngokuhlanganyela ezintweni ezinhle ngoba yena ezithanda.—IzEnzo 20:35.
15 Ngempela, ukufanelana kunqunywa ikakhulu ukuthi nobabili nikwazi kangakanani ukuzivumelanisa kunokuthi nifana kangakanani. Esikhundleni sokubuza ukuthi, “Ingabe sivumelana kuzo zonke izinto?” eminye imibuzo engcono ingase ibe ukuthi: “Kwenzekani lapho singavumelani? Ingabe siyakwazi ukuxoxa ngendaba ngokuthula, sinikezana inhlonipho nodumo? Noma ingabe izingxoxo zivame ukugcina seziyizimpikiswano ezishubile?” (Efesu 4:29, 31) Uma ufuna ukushada, xwaya noma ubani oqhoshayo nongasuki emibonweni yakhe, ongazimiseli ukuhoxa, noma ofuna izinto ngenkani njalo futhi enze amaqhinga okuba izinto zenzeke ngendlela yakhe.
THOLA KUSENGAPHAMBILI
16, 17. Yini owesifazane noma owesilisa angayibheka lapho ecabangela lowo afuna ukushada naye?
16 Ebandleni lobuKristu, labo abaphathiswa imithwalo yemfanelo kumelwe ‘bavivinywe kuqala ngokuqondene nokufaneleka.’ (1 Thimothewu 3:10) Nawe ungasisebenzisa lesi simiso. Ngokwesibonelo, owesifazane angase abuze, “Lomuntu unaliphi idumela? Obani abangane bakhe? Ingabe uyakubonisa ukuzithiba? Ubaphatha kanjani abantu abadala? Uvela ohlotsheni olunjani lomkhaya? Usebenzelana kanjani nawo? Siyini isimo sakhe sengqondo ngemali? Ingabe ulusebenzisa kabi uphuzo oludakayo? Ingabe uyisififane, futhi aze abe nobudlova? Unamiphi imithwalo yemfanelo yebandla, futhi uyiphatha kanjani? Ngingamhlonipha ngokujulile?”—Levitikusi 19:32; IzAga 22:29; 31:23; Efesu 5:3-5, 33; 1 Thimothewu 5:8; 6:10; Thithu 2:6, 7.
17 Owesilisa angase abuze, “Ingabe lona wesifazane uyalubonisa uthando nenhlonipho ngoNkulunkulu? Ingabe angakwazi ukunakekela ikhaya? Umkhaya wakubo uyolindelani kithi? Ingabe uhlakaniphile, ukhuthele, uyonga? Yini akhuluma ngayo? Uyikhathalela ngokungazenzisi inhlalakahle yabanye, noma ingabe ukhathalela izithakazelo zakhe siqu, ungundabazabantu? Ingabe unokwethenjelwa? Ingabe uzimisele ukuthobela ubunhloko, noma ingabe unenkani, uze avukele?”—IzAga 31:10-31; Luka 6:45; Efesu 5:22, 23; 1 Thimothewu 5:13; 1 Petru 4:15.
18. Uma kubonakala ubuthakathaka obuncane lapho kusathandwana, yini okufanele ikhunjulwe?
18 Ungakhohlwa ukuthi usebenzelana nenzalo ka-Adamu engaphelele, hhayi neqhawe noma iqhawekazi lasezincwadini zothando. Wonke umuntu unamaphutha, futhi amanye awo kuyodingeka anganakwa—kokubili awakho nawalowo ofuna ukushada naye. (Roma 3:23; Jakobe 3:2) Ngaphezu kwalokho, lokho okubonakala kuwubuthakathaka kungase kunikeze ithuba lokukhula ngokomoya. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi phakathi nokuthandana kwenu niba nempikiswano. Cabanga: Ngisho nabantu abathandanayo nabahloniphanayo abavumelani ngezinye izikhathi. (Qhathanisa noGenesise 30:2; IzEnzo 15:39.) Kungenzeka yini ukuthi nobabili nimane nje nidinga ‘ukubamba umoya wenu’ kakhudlwana futhi nifunde ukuxazulula izinto ngokuthula ngokwengeziwe? (IzAga 25:28) Ingabe lomuntu ofuna ukushada naye uyasibonisa isifiso sokuthuthuka? Ingabe wena uyasibonisa? Ungafunda yini ukungabi ozwela kakhulu? (UmShumayeli 7:9) Ukufunda ukuxazulula izinkinga kungakha indlela yokukhulumisana ngokwethembeka okuyinto ebalulekile uma nobabili nishada.—Kolose 3:13.
19. Yini engaba isinyathelo sokuhlakanipha uma kuvela izinkinga ezingathi sína lapho kusathandwana?
19 Nokho, kuthiwani uma uphawula izinto ezikukhathaza ngokujulile? Ukungabaza okunjalo kufanele kucatshangelwe ngokucophelela. Ungawashayi indiva amaphutha angathi sína, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uzizwa umthanda kangakanani lowo muntu noma ujahe kangakanani ukushada. (IzAga 22:3; UmShumayeli 2:14) Uma unobuhlobo nomuntu onokungabaza okungathi sína ngaye, kuwukuhlakanipha ukubuqeda lobo buhlobo futhi ungazibopheli kulowo muntu.
GCINANI UKUTHANDANA KWENU KUHLONIPHEKILE
20. Umbhangqwana othandanayo ungakugcina kanjani ukuziphatha kwawo kungasoleki?
20 Ningakugcina kanjani ukuthandana kwenu kuhloniphekile? Okokuqala, qinisekani ukuthi ukuziphatha kwenu akunakusoleka. Lapho nihlala khona, ingabe ukubambana, ukuqabulana, noma ukwangana kubhekwa njengokuziphatha okufanele emibhangqwaneni engashadile? Ngisho noma ukuboniswa kothando okunjalo kungaxwaywa, kufanele kuvunyelwe kuphela lapho ubuhlobo sebufinyelele eqophelweni lapho sekuqinisekwa ngomshado. Qaphelani ukuthi ukubonisana kwenu uthando akudluleli ekuziphatheni okungahlanzekile noma ngisho nasebufebeni. (Efesu 4:18, 19; qhathanisa nesiHlabelelo seziHlabelelo 1:2; 2:6; 8:5, 9, 10.) Ngenxa yokuthi inhliziyo iyakhohlisa, nihlakaniphile uma nigwema ukuba nodwa endlini, efulethini, emotweni epakiwe, noma kunoma iyiphi enye indawo engaveza ithuba lokuziphatha okungalungile. (Jeremiya 17:9) Ukugcina ukuthandana kwenu kuhlanzekile ngokokuziphatha kunikeza ubufakazi obusobala bokuthi unokuzithiba nokuthi ukhathalela ngokungenabugovu inhlalakahle yalona omunye umuntu ngaphezu kwezifiso zakho. Okubaluleke nakakhulu, ukuthandana okuhlanzekile kuyomjabulisa uJehova uNkulunkulu, oyala izinceku zakhe ukuba zidede ezenzweni zokungahlanzeki nasebufebeni.—Galathiya 5:19-21.
21. Ikuphi ukukhulumisana ngokwethembeka okungase kudingeke ukuze kugcinwe ukuthandana kuhloniphekile?
21 Okwesibili, ukuthandana okuhloniphekile kuhlanganisa futhi ukukhulumisana ngokwethembeka. Njengoba ukuthandana kwenu kuthuthukela emshadweni, izindaba ezithile kuzodingeka zixoxwe ngokukhululeka. Niyohlalaphi? Ingabe nobabili niyosebenza? Niyafuna yini ukuba nabantwana? Futhi, kuwukwethembeka ukuveza izinto, mhlawumbe ezenzeka esikhathini esidlule, ezingase ziwuthinte umshado. Lezi zingahlanganisa izikweletu noma izibopho ezinkulu noma izindaba zempilo, njengesifo esingathi sína okungenzeka unaso. Njengoba abantu abaningi abangenwa i-HIV (igciwane elibangela ingculaza) bengabonisi zimpawu ngokushesha, ngeke kube okungafanele ngomuntu noma ngabazali abakhathalelayo ukucela ukuba lihlolwe ingculaza igazi lomuntu owayeziphatha kabi ngokobulili esikhathini esidlule noma owayesebenzisa izidakamizwa ezifakwa emithanjeni. Uma ukuhlola kuveza ukuthi umuntu unalo igciwane, onegciwane akumelwe amcindezele lowo afuna ukushada naye ukuba ubuhlobo buqhubeke uma manje esefisa ukubuqeda. Empeleni noma ubani oke waphila ukuphila okuyingozi uyobe wenza kahle uma ngokuzithandela ehlolwa ingculaza ngaphambi kokuthandana nothile.
UKUBHEKA NGALÉ KOSUKU LOMSHADO
22, 23. (a) Kungalahleka kanjani ukulinganisela lapho kulungiselelwa idili lomshado? (b) Imuphi umbono wokulinganisela okumelwe ulondolozwe lapho kucatshangelwa idili lomshado nomshado ngokwawo?
22 Phakathi nezinyanga zokugcina ngaphambi komshado, cishe nobabili niyobe nimatasa kakhulu nenza amalungiselelo omshado. Ningakunciphisa kakhulu ukucindezeleka ngokuba abalinganiselayo. Umshado omkhulu ungase uzijabulise izihlobo nomphakathi, kodwa ungase ushiye abasanda kushada kanye nemikhaya yabo bekhathele futhi bephundlekile ngokwezimali. Kunengqondo ukunamathela kwamanye amasiko endawo, kodwa ukuvumelana nawo ngokuzigqilaza mhlawumbe nangokuncintisana kungakusithibeza ukubaluleka kwesenzakalo futhi kunganiphuca injabulo okumelwe nibe nayo. Nakuba imizwelo yabanye kumelwe icatshangelwe, umkhwenyana onomthwalo wemfanelo ngokuyinhloko wokunquma ukuthi yini ezokwenzeka edilini lomshado.—Johane 2:9.
23 Khumbula ukuthi idili lomshado wakho lithatha usuku olulodwa kuphela, kodwa umshado wakho uhlala sonke isikhathi sokuphila. Gwema ukugxilisa ingqondo kakhulu esenzweni sokushada. Kunalokho, lindela isiqondiso kuJehova uNkulunkulu, futhi ukuhlelele kusengaphambili ukuphila kokuba oshadile. Khona-ke uyobe uwulungiselele kahle umshado ophumelelayo.
[Imibhalo yaphansi]
a Lokhu kungasebenza emiphakathini lapho ukuphola kubhekwa njengokufanelekile kumaKristu.
b Ngisho nasebandleni lobuKristu, kungenzeka kube nalabo okungathiwa bahlezi emngceleni. Esikhundleni sokuba bakhonze uNkulunkulu ngomphefumulo wonke, kungenzeka ukuthi bathonywa izimo zengqondo nokuziphatha kwezwe.—Johane 17:16; Jakobe 4:4.
LEZI ZIMISO ZEBHAYIBHELI ZINGAMSIZA KANJANI . . . UMUNTU UKUBA ALUNGISELELE UMSHADO OPHUMELELAYO?
Indoda nenkosikazi kumelwe babe abazibophezele omunye komunye.—Genesise 2:24.
Umuntu wangaphakathi ubaluleke ngaphezu kokubonakala kwangaphandle.—1 Petru 3:3, 4.
“Ningaboshelwa ngokungalingani ejokeni.”—2 Korinte 6:14.
Abantu abangahlanzekile ngokokuziphatha bahlukanisiwe noNkulunkulu.—Efesu 4:18, 19.
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 17]
AMASIKO NEBHAYIBHELI
Ilobolo Nesipho Esikhishwa Umakoti: Kwamanye amazwe umkhaya wakubo kamkhwenyana kulindeleke ukuba unikeze abasekhweni imali (ilobolo). Kwamanye, abakubo kamakoti banikeza abakubo kamkhwenyana imali (isipho). Kungase kungabibikho lutho olungalungile ngalamasiko uma nje esemthethweni. (Roma 13:1) Nokho, kuzo zombili lezi zimo, umkhaya onikwa okuthile kufanele ugweme ukubiza ngobugovu imali enkulu noma izimpahla eziningi kunokufanele. (IzAga 20:21; 1 Korinte 6:10) Ngaphezu kwalokho, leli siko akufanele neze libhekwe njengelisho ukuthi inkosikazi imane nje iyimpahla ethengiwe; futhi indoda akufanele ibe nomuzwa wokuthi umthwalo wayo wemfanelo kumkayo nakwabasekhweni layo ungowemali.
Isithembu: Amanye amasiko avumela indoda ukuba ibe namakhosikazi angaphezu kweyodwa. Esimweni esinjalo, indoda ingase ibe inkosi kunokuba ibe umyeni nobaba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, isithembu sikhuthaza ukuncintisana phakathi kwamakhosikazi. KumaKristu, iBhayibheli livumela kuphela ukungashadi noma ukushada nomuntu oyedwa.—1 Korinte 7:2.
Umshado Wokulinga: Imibhangqwana eminingi ithi ukuhlalisana ngaphambi kokushada kuyoyisiza ukuba ivivinye ukufanelana kwayo. Nokho, umshado wokulinga awusivivinyi esinye sezici zomshado esibaluleke kunazo zonke—ukuzibopha. Alikho elinye ilungiselelo ngaphandle komshado elinikeza izinga elifanayo lokuvikeleka nokulondeka kubo bonke abahilelekile—kuhlanganise nezingane ezingaba umphumela walokho kuhlangana. Emehlweni kaJehova uNkulunkulu, ukuhlalisana ngaphandle kokushada kuwubufebe.—1 Korinte 6:18; Heberu 13:4.
[Izithombe ekhasini 19]
Lapho ungakashadi, thuthukisa izimfanelo, imikhuba, namakhono ayokusiza emshadweni