Ukuba Umyeni Nomdala—Ukulinganisela Imithwalo Yemfanelo
‘Umbonisi kufanele abe indoda emfazi munye.’—1 THIMOTHEWU 3:2.
1, 2. Kungani ukungashadi kwabapristi kungasekelwe ngokomBhalo?
EKHULWINI lokuqala, amaKristu akholekile ayekukhathalela ukulinganisela imithwalo yawo yemfanelo ehlukahlukene. Lapho umphostoli uPawulu ethi umKristu ohlala engashadile “uyokwenza kangcono,” ingabe wayesho ukuthi indoda enjalo iyokufanelekela kangcono ukukhonza njengombonisi ebandleni lobuKristu? Ingabe empeleni wayenza ukungashadi kube imfuneko yokuba umdala? (1 Korinte 7:38) Ukungashadi kuyimfuneko kubefundisi bamaKatolika. Kodwa ingabe ukungashadi kwabapristi kungokomBhalo? AmaSonto Obu-Orthodox AseMpumalanga ayabavumela abapristi bawo bezifunda ukuba bashade, kodwa hhayi ababhishobhi bawo. Ingabe lokho kuyavumelana neBhayibheli?
2 Abaningi kubaphostoli bakaKristu abangu-12, amalungu ebandla lobuKristu ayisisekelo, babengamadoda ashadile. (Mathewu 8:14, 15; Efesu 2:20) UPawulu wabhala: “Sinalo igunya lokuhola udade njengomfazi, njengabo bonke nje abanye abaphostoli nabafowabo beNkosi noKhefase [uPetru], akunjalo?” (1 Korinte 9:5) I-New Catholic Encyclopedia iyavuma ukuthi “umthetho wokungashadi usuka esontweni” nokuthi “izikhonzi [zeTestamente Elisha] zazingabophekile ukuba zingashadi.” OFakazi BakaJehova balandela isibonelo esingokomBhalo kunokulandela umthetho wesonto.—1 Thimothewu 4:1-3.
Ukuba Umdala Nokushada Akuphikisani
3. Yimaphi amaqiniso angokomBhalo abonisa ukuthi ababonisi abangamaKristu bangaba amadoda ashadile?
3 Kunokuba ayale ukuba amadoda amiswa njengababonisi abe angashadile, uPawulu wabhalela uThithu: “Ngenxa yalesisizathu ngakushiya eKrethe, ukuze ulungise izinto ezazinephutha futhi umise amadoda amadala [ngesiGreki, pre·sbyʹte·ros] emzini ngomuzi, njengoba ngakuyala; uma kukhona noma iyiphi indoda okungekho cala ebekwa lona, indoda enomfazi oyedwa, enabantwana abakholwayo abangekho ngaphansi kwecala lokuzitika ngamanyala noma abangalawuleki. Ngoba umbonisi [ngesiGreki, e·piʹsko·pos, okuvela kulo igama elithi “umbhishobhi”] kumelwe abe umuntu okungekho cala abekwa lona njengomphathi kaNkulunkulu.”—Thithu 1:5-7.
4. (a) Sazi kanjani ukuthi ukushada akuyona imfuneko yababonisi abangamaKristu? (b) Umzalwane ongumdala ongashadile unayiphi inzuzo?
4 Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukushada akuyona imfuneko engokomBhalo yokuba umdala. UJesu akazange ashade. (Efesu 1:22) UPawulu, umbonisi ovelele ebandleni lobuKristu lekhulu lokuqala, wayengashadile ngaleso sikhathi. (1 Korinte 7:7-9) Namuhla, kunamaKristu amaningi angashadile akhonza njengabadala. Cishe ukuba kwawo angashadile kuwanikeza isikhathi esengeziwe sokwenza imisebenzi yawo njengababonisi.
‘Indoda Eshadile Ihlukene Phakathi’
5. Yiliphi iqiniso elingokomBhalo abazalwane abashadile okufanele balivume?
5 Lapho indoda engumKristu ishada, kufanele iqaphele ukuthi ithatha umthwalo omusha oyodinga isikhathi nokunaka kwayo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Indoda engashadile ikhathazeka ngezinto zeNkosi, ukuthi ingakuthola kanjani ukwamukelwa yiNkosi. Kodwa indoda eshadile ikhathazeka ngezinto zezwe, ukuthi ingakuthola kanjani ukwamukelwa umkayo, futhi ihlukene phakathi.” (1 Korinte 7:32-34) Ihlukene phakathi ngamuphi umqondo?
6, 7. (a) Iyiphi enye indlela indoda eshadile “ehlukene phakathi” ngayo? (b) Yisiphi iseluleko uPawulu asinikeza amaKristu ashadile? (c) Lokhu kungasithonya kanjani isinqumo sendoda sokwamukela umsebenzi othile?
6 Phakathi kokunye, indoda eshadile iyayeka ukuba negunya phezu komzimba wayo. UPawulu wakwenza kwacaca lokhu: “Umfazi akalisebenzisi igunya phezu kowakhe siqu umzimba, kodwa ngumyeni wakhe olisebenzisayo; ngokufanayo, futhi, indoda ayilisebenzisi igunya phezu kowayo siqu umzimba, kodwa ngumkayo olisebenzisayo.” (1 Korinte 7:4) Abanye abacabangela ukushada bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi lokhu akubalulekile kangako ngoba ubulili ngeke bube into enkulu emshadweni wabo. Nokho, njengoba ukuba msulwa ngaphambi komshado kuyimfuneko engokomBhalo, amaKristu awazazi ngempela izidingo ezingokobulili zomngane wawo womshado wesikhathi esizayo.
7 UPawulu ubonisa ukuthi ngisho nombhangqwana ‘obeka ingqondo yawo ezintweni zomoya’ kumelwe ucabangele izidingo ezingokobulili zomunye nomunye. Weluleka amaKristu eKorinte: “Indoda mayinikeze umkayo okumfaneleyo; kodwa nomfazi makenze ngokufanayo kumyeni wakhe. Ningagodlelani khona, ngaphandle kokuba kungokuvumelana isikhathi esithile esimisiwe, ukuze ninikele isikhathi emthandazweni futhi niphinde nibe ndawonye, ukuze uSathane angahlali enilinga ngenxa yokuntula kwenu ukuzilawula.” (Roma 8:5; 1 Korinte 7:3, 5) Ngokudabukisayo, kuye kwaba namacala okuphinga lapho lesi seluleko singazange silandelwe. Ngenxa yalokhu, umKristu oshadile kufanele ahlaziye izimo ngokucophelela ngaphambi kokuba amukele umsebenzi ozomhlukanisa isikhathi eside nomkakhe. Akasenayo inkululeko yokuzihambela ngokuthanda ayenayo lapho engakashadi.
8, 9. (a) UPawulu wayesho ukuthini lapho ethi amaKristu ashadile ‘akhathazeka ngezinto zezwe’? (b) Yini amaKristu ashadile okufanele akhathazeke ngayo?
8 Kungashiwo ngamuphi umqondo ukuthi amadoda angamaKristu ashadile, kuhlanganise nabadala, ‘akhathazeka ngezinto zezwe [koʹsmos]’? (1 Korinte 7:33) Kusobala ukuthi uPawulu wayengakhulumi ngezinto ezimbi zalelizwe, okumelwe wonke amaKristu eqiniso azigweme. (2 Petru 1:4; 2:18-20; 1 Johane 2:15-17) IZwi likaNkulunkulu lisiyala ukuba “silahle ukungamhloniphi uNkulunkulu nezifiso zezwe [ko·smi·kosʹ] nokuba siphile ngokuhluzeka kwengqondo nokulunga nangokuzinikela kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu phakathi nalesisimiso samanje sezinto.”—Thithu 2:12.
9 Ngakho-ke, umKristu oshadile ‘ukhathazeka ngezinto zezwe’ ngomqondo wokuthi kufanelekile ukuba akhathazeke ngezinto zezwe eziyingxenye yokuphila kwasemshadweni okuvamile. Lokhu kuhlanganisa indawo yokuhlala, ukudla, izingubo, ukuzijabulisa—ingasaphathwa eyezinye izinto eziningi akhathazeka ngazo uma kunezingane. Kodwa ngisho noma umbhangqwana ungenazingane, ukuze umshado wawo uphumelele, bobabili indoda nomfazi kumelwe bakhathazeke ‘ngokuthola ukwamukelwa’ umngane wabo womshado. Lokhu kubathinta kakhulu abadala abangamaKristu njengoba belinganisela imithwalo yabo yemfanelo.
Abayeni Abaqotho Nabadala Abaqotho
10. Ukuze umKristu afanelekele ukuba umdala, yini abafowabo nabantu bangaphandle okumelwe bakwazi ukuyiphawula?
10 Nakuba ukushada kungeyona imfuneko yokuba umdala, uma indoda engumKristu ishadile, ngaphambi kokuba kutuswe ukuba imiswe njengomdala, ngokuqinisekile kufanele inikeze ubufakazi bokuthi izama ukuba umyeni oqotho nonothando, kuyilapho isebenzisa ubunhloko ngendlela efanele. (Efesu 5:23-25, 28-31) UPawulu wabhala: “Uma noma ubani ezama ukufinyelela isikhundla sombonisi, ufisa umsebenzi omuhle. Ngakho-ke umbonisi kufanele abe ongasoleki, indoda emfazi munye.” (1 Thimothewu 3:1, 2) Kufanele kube sobala ukuthi umdala wenza konke okusemandleni akhe ukuze abe umyeni oqotho, noma ngabe umkakhe ungumKristu kanye naye noma akunjalo. Eqinisweni, ngisho nabantu abangaphandle kwebandla kufanele bakwazi ukuphawula ukuthi umnakekela kahle umkakhe kanye neminye imithwalo yakhe yemfanelo. UPawulu wanezela: “Kufanele afakazelwe kahle abantu bangaphandle, ukuze angaweli esihlambeni nasogibeni lukaDeveli.”—1 Thimothewu 3:7.
11. Isikiselani inkulumo ethi “indoda emfazi munye,” ngakho abadala kufanele baqaphe kanjani?
11 Yebo, inkulumo ethi “indoda emfazi munye” iyasinqabela isithembu, kodwa isikisela nokuthembeka emshadweni. (Heberu 13:4) Abadala ikakhulukazi kufanele baqaphe ngokukhethekile lapho besiza odade ebandleni. Kufanele bagweme ukuhamba bodwa lapho beya kudade odinga iseluleko nenduduzo. Bayokwenza kahle ngokuhamba nomunye umdala, inceku ekhonzayo, noma ngisho nomkabo uma kumane nje kuwukuyokhuthaza.—1 Thimothewu 5:1, 2.
12. Amakhosikazi abadala nezinceku ezikhonzayo kufanele alwele ukufanelana nayiphi incazelo?
12 Lapho ebala izimfuneko zabadala nezinceku ezikhonzayo, umphostoli uPawulu weluleka amakhosikazi alabo abacatshangelwa ukunikezwa amalungelo anjalo. Wabhala: “Nabesifazane ngokufanayo kufanele bathathe izinto ngokungathi sína, bangabi abanyundelayo, balinganisele emikhubeni, bakholeke ezintweni zonke.” (1 Thimothewu 3:11) Indoda engumKristu ingaba nengxenye enkulu ekusizeni umkayo ukuba afanelane naleyo ncazelo.
Izibopho EzingokomBhalo Ngokuphathelene NeNkosikazi
13, 14. Ngisho noma umkamdala engeyena uFakazi, kungani kufanele umdala ahlale naye futhi abe umyeni oqotho?
13 Yebo, lesi seluleko esinikezwa amakhosikazi abadala noma ezinceku ezikhonzayo sinikezwa ngombono wokuthi lawo makhosikazi angamaKristu azinikezele. Ngokuvamile kunjalo ngoba amaKristu ayalwa ukuba ashade “kuphela eNkosini.” (1 Korinte 7:39) Kodwa kuthiwani ngomzalwane owayeseshade nomuntu ongakholwa kakade lapho enikezela ukuphila kwakhe kuJehova, noma lowo omkakhe uye wawa eqinisweni kungabangelwanga yiphutha lakhe?
14 Lokhu ngokwakho, ngeke kumvimbele ukuba abe umdala. Nokho, ngeke kumnikeze ilungelo lokuba ahlale ngokwahlukana nomkakhe ngenxa nje yokuthi unezinkolelo ezingafani nezakhe. UPawulu weluleka: “Ingabe uboshelwe kumfazi? Yeka ukufuna ukukhululwa.” (1 Korinte 7:27) Wabuye wathi: “Uma kukhona umfowethu onomfazi ongakholwayo, kodwa nokho umfazi evuma ukuhlala naye, makangamshiyi. Kodwa uma lona ongakholwayo emuka, makamuke; umfowethu noma udade akabophekile ngaphansi kwezimo ezinjalo, kodwa uNkulunkulu unibizele ekuthuleni. Ngoba, wena mfazi, wazi ngani ukuthi ngeke umsindise umyeni wakho? Noma, wena ndoda, wazi ngani ukuthi ngeke umsindise umkakho?” (1 Korinte 7:12, 15, 16) Noma umkakhe engeyena uFakazi, umdala kufanele abe umyeni oqotho.
15. Yisiphi iseluleko umphostoli uPetru asinikeza abayeni abangamaKristu, futhi kungaba namiphi imiphumela uma umdala ebonakala engumyeni onganaki?
15 Noma ngabe umkakhe ukholwa kanye naye noma cha, umdala ongumKristu kufanele aqaphele ukuthi umkakhe udinga ukunaka kwakhe kothando. Umphostoli uPetru wabhala: “Nina madoda, qhubekani nihlala nabo [omkenu] ngendlela efanayo ngokolwazi, nibanika udumo njengesitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana, isifazane, njengoba nani niyizindlalifa kanye nabo zomusa ongafanelwe wokuphila, ukuze imithandazo yenu ingathiyeki.” (1 Petru 3:7) Umyeni odebesela ngamabomu ukunakekela izidingo zomkakhe ufaka ubuhlobo bakhe noJehova engozini; kungavimba imithandazo yakhe kuJehova ‘njengefu ukuze imikhuleko yakhe ingafinyeleli.’ (IsiLilo 3:44) Lokhu kungaholela ekubeni angabe esafaneleka ukukhonza njengombonisi ongumKristu.
16. Yiliphi iphuzu eliyisihluthulelo uPawulu alivezayo, futhi abadala kufanele bazizwe kanjani ngalokhu?
16 Njengoba kuphawuliwe, iphuzu eliyinhloko emazwini kaPawulu ukuthi lapho indoda ishada, ayibe isaba nenkululeko enjengaleyo eyayinayo ingakashadi, eyayiyivumela ukuba ‘ikhonze iNkosi njalo ngaphandle kokuthikamezeka.’ (1 Korinte 7:35) Imibiko ibonisa ukuthi abanye abadala abashadile abazange babe abalinganiselayo ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho becabanga ngamazwi kaPawulu aphefumulelwe. Befisa ukufeza lokho abanomuzwa wokuthi abadala abaqotho kufanele bakufeze, bangase bangazinaki ezinye zezibopho zabo zokuba ngabayeni. Abanye bangakuthola kunzima ukwenqaba ilungelo elithile lasebandleni, ngisho noma kusobala ukuthi ukulamukela kuyobalimaza omkabo ngokomoya. Bayawajabulela amalungelo ahambisana nokushada, kodwa bazimisele yini ukufeza imithwalo yemfanelo ehambisana nako?
17. Kuye kwenzekani kwamanye amakhosikazi, futhi lokhu bekungagwenywa kanjani?
17 Ngokuqinisekile, ukushiseka njengomdala kuyatuseka. Noma kunjalo, ingabe umKristu uyalinganisela uma njengoba efeza imisebenzi yakhe yebandla, engayinaki imithwalo yakhe yemfanelo engokomBhalo ngokuphathelene nomkakhe? Nakuba efisa ukusekela labo abasebandleni, umdala olinganiselayo uyokhathalela nengokomoya lomkakhe. Amakhosikazi abanye abadala aye aba buthakathaka ngokomoya, futhi amanye aye ‘aphihlizekelwa umkhumbi’ ongokomoya. (1 Thimothewu 1:19) Nakuba unkosikazi enomthwalo wokusebenzela ukusindiswa kwakhe, ezimweni ezithile inkinga engokomoya ibingagwenywa ukube umdala ‘ubemondla futhi emnakekela ngesisa’ umkakhe, “njengoba noKristu enza kulo ibandla.” (Efesu 5:28, 29) Yebo, abadala kumelwe ‘bazinake bona nawo wonke umhlambi.’ (IzEnzo 20:28) Uma beshadile, lokhu kuhlanganisa nomkabo.
‘Usizi Enyameni’
18. Yiziphi ezinye izici ‘zosizi’ amaKristu ashadile abhekana nazo, futhi lokhu kungayithinta kanjani imisebenzi yomdala?
18 Umphostoli futhi wabhala: “Uma umuntu omsulwa ngokobulili eshada, lowomuntu uyobe akenzi isono. Nokho, labo abashadayo bayoba nosizi enyameni yabo. Kodwa mina ngiyaniphephisa.” (1 Korinte 7:28) UPawulu wayefuna ukuphephisa labo ababengase bakwazi ukulandela isibonelo sakhe sokungashadi, ezinkathazweni okuqinisekile ukuthi ziza nokushada. Ngisho nakwabangenazo izingane, lezi zinkathazo zingase zihlanganise izinkinga zempilo, noma ezingokwezimali kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo engokomBhalo kubazali asebekhulile bomngane womuntu womshado. (1 Thimothewu 5:4, 8) Umdala kumelwe amukele lemithwalo yemfanelo ngendlela eyisibonelo, futhi ngezinye izikhathi lokhu kungase kuthinte imisebenzi yakhe njengombonisi ongumKristu. Ngokujabulisayo, abadala abaningi benza umsebenzi omuhle ekufezeni kokubili imithwalo yabo yemfanelo yomkhaya neyebandla.
19. UPawulu wayesho ukuthini lapho ethi: “Labo abanabafazi mababe njengokungathi abanabo”?
19 UPawulu wanezela: “Isikhathi esesisele sinciphile. Kusukela manje labo abanabafazi mababe njengokungathi abanabo.” (1 Korinte 7:29) Yebo, ngenxa yalokho kakade ayesekubhalele abaseKorinte kulesi sahluko, kusobala ukuthi wayengasho ukuthi amaKristu ashadile kufanele angabanaki ngandlela-thile omkawo. (1 Korinte 7:2, 3, 33) Wabonisa lokho ayekusho, lapho ebhala: “Labo abasebenzisa izwe [mababe] njengalabo abangalisebenzisi ngokugcwele; ngoba isimo salelizwe siyashintsha.” (1 Korinte 7:31) Namuhla, sekuseduze nakakhulu ukuba ‘izwe lidlule’ kunasosukwini lukaPawulu noma lomphostoli uJohane. (1 Johane 2:15-17) Ngakho-ke, amaKristu ashadile ezwa isidingo sokwenza ukuzidela okuthile ukuze alandele uKristu awanakugxila ngokuphelele ezinjabulweni nasemalungelweni asemshadweni.—1 Korinte 7:5.
Amakhosikazi Azidelayo
20, 21. (a) Yikuphi ukuzidela amakhosikazi amaningi angamaKristu azimisele ukukwenza? (b) Yini inkosikazi engayilindela ngokufanelekile kumyeni wayo, noma engumdala?
20 Njengoba abadala bezidela ukuze bazuzise abanye, amakhosikazi amaningi abadala aye azama ukulinganisela phakathi kwemithwalo yawo yemfanelo yasemshadweni nezithakazelo zoMbuso ezibalulekile. Izinkulungwane zabesifazane abangamaKristu ziyakujabulela ukubambisana nabayeni bazo ukuze bakwazi ukufeza imisebenzi yabo njengababonisi. UJehova uyabathanda ngenxa yalokhu, futhi uyawubusisa umoya omuhle abawubonisayo. (Filemoni 25) Noma kunjalo, iseluleko sikaPawulu esilinganiselayo sibonisa ukuthi amakhosikazi ababonisi angalindela ngokufanelekile ukuba abayeni bawo bawanikeze isilinganiso esifanele sesikhathi nokunakwa. Kuyisibopho esingokomBhalo sabadala abashadile ukuba banikeze omkabo isikhathi esanele ukuze balinganisele imithwalo yabo yemfanelo njengabayeni nababonisi.
21 Kodwa kuthiwani uma ngaphezu kokuba umyeni, umdala ongumKristu engubaba? Lokhu kuyayandisa imithwalo yakhe yemfanelo futhi kumenza abe nenye indima okumelwe ayengamele, njengoba sizobona esihlokweni esilandelayo.
Imibuzo Yokubukeza
◻ Yimaphi amaqiniso angokomBhalo abonisa ukuthi umbonisi ongumKristu angaba yindoda eshadile?
◻ Uma umdala ongashadile eshada, yini okufanele ayiqaphele?
◻ UmKristu oshadile ‘ukhathazeka ngezinto zezwe’ ngayiphi indlela?
◻ Amakhosikazi amaningi ababonisi awubonisa kanjani umoya omuhle wokuzidela?
[Isithombe ekhasini 17]
Nakuba ematasa ngemisebenzi engokwasezulwini, umdala kufanele anake umkakhe ngothando