Abantwana ‘Abasisiwe’—Sinengqondo Kangakanani Lesisenzo?
“NJENGOBA wazi, Daniel, nginabantwana abaningi,” kusho umzala kaDaniel. “Ngakho nginqume ukuba ngabele abanye babo ezihlotsheni.” Ekhomba intombazanyana ayeze nayo, umzala wathi: “Lona owakho.”
“Ngiyabonga,” kusho uDaniel. Kodwa, wabubula ngaphakathi. Wayenabantwana bakhe abanele futhi wayengabafuni noma wayengabadingi abanye. Kodwa ngokomkhuba wakuleyondawo, ukwenqaba lesipho kwakuyobhekwa njengecala elingathi sína—elingenakwenziwa! Manje uDaniel wayesenenye indodakazi okwakumelwe ayinakekele.
Emazweni amaningi asathuthuka, ikakhulukazi eAfrika, kuvamile ukuba abazali basise abantwana babo ezihlotsheni noma kubangane izinyanga eziningi, iminyaka—futhi ngezinye izikhathi unomphela. Lomkhuba ungazwakala ungajwayelekile kubantu baseNtshonalanga, kodwa eqinisweni uyefana nesenzo sokuthumela abantwana emaboarding school noma emakamu asehlobo abagcina isikhathi eside. Nokho, yini ebangela lomkhuba wabantwana abasiswayo? Ingabe kuyisenzo esinengqondo?
Isizathu Sokuba Basise Abantwana Babo
Nakuba izindinganiso zamasiko ziguquka, kumuntu waseAfrika, abantwana abayona impahla ekhethekile yabazali. Kunalokho, bangabomndeni wonke. Omalumekazi, omalume, omkhulu nogogo, nabanye, bonke babhekwa njengabanamalungelo negunya kwabasebasha. Njengoba isaga esithile saseNtshonalanga Afrika siphawula: “Umuntu oyedwa ozalayo, kodwa baningi abanakekela umntwana.”
Ngokomphumela, lapho kuvela izimo eziphuthumayo, njengokufa kwabazali bomntwana, izihlobo zikulungele futhi zizimisele ukuthatha umntwana oseyintandane. Nokho, isizathu esisemqoka sokusisa abantwana ezihlotsheni ngokuvamile inkinga engokwezimali. Uma umkhaya umpofu futhi abantwana bebaningi, abazali bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi oyedwa noma abaningi abantwana bayozuza ngokuhlala nezihlobo ezimi kahle ngokwezimali. Bacabanga ukuthi isihlobo siyokuthola kulula ukubhekana nezindleko zesikole, zezingubo zokugqoka, zemithi, nezokudla. Ngakho-ke akukhona ukuntula uthando lobuzali okushukumisela abanye abazali ukuba baziphathise abanye kodwa, kunalokho, isifiso sokunikeza izingane zabo okungcono kakhulu.
Esinye isizathu siyisifiso sokuba abantwana bathole imfundo enhle. Mhlawumbe isikole esiseduze sikude kakhulu nasekhaya. Njengoba kungase kube nzima noma okungenakwenzeka ukuba wonke umkhaya uthuthe, abazali bangase bacabange ukuthi bekungaba ngcono kakhulu ukuthumela umntwana wabo ezihlotsheni ezihlala eduze nesikole.
Ngokuvamile izihlobo ziyakujabulela ukubamukela labantwana. Phakathi kwezinye izinto, ukuba nomunye umntwana odinga ukondliwa kusho futhi ukuba nomunye umsizi wokwenza umsebenzi wasendlini. Futhi abazali ngezinye izikhathi bayasiza ekuhlangabezaneni nezindleko ngokuthumela imali noma ukudla.
Izici Ezidinga Ukucatshangelwa
Nakuba kuyiqiniso ukuthi kungase kube nezinzuzo ezithile ezingokwemfundo nangokwezinto ezibonakalayo ekusiseni umntwana kwabanye, kunezici ezithile okufanele zicatshangelwe ngokucophelela. Ngokwesibonelo, umntwana uyobajwayela kanjani ababheki bakhe abasha, futhi bona bayojwayelana kanjani nomntwana? Ngezinye izikhathi amalungiselelo anjalo asebenza kahle, futhi abazali abasha bakha ubuhlobo obuqinile nobothando nabantwana babo bokutholwa. Ngokwesibonelo, omunye umdala ongumKristu eSierra Leone wakhulisa umshana wakhe oyintandane. Lapho ebuzwa eminyakeni eminingi kamuva ngendodana yakhe yokutholwa, waphendula: “UDesmond angimbheki njengomntwana wokutholwa—uyindodana yami. Uyinyama yami negazi lami.”
Nokho, akubona bonke ababheka abantwana babo bokutholwa ngalendlela. Ngokwesibonelo, kwelinye idolobha laseNtshonalanga Afrika kwakuneziphithiphithi. Izinhlamvu zezibhamu zazindiza emoyeni. “Sheshani!” kumemeza inkosikazi yomuzi kubantwana bayo ababili: “Arthur, casha ngaphansi kombhede! Wena, Sorie, lunguza efasiteleni usitshele ukuthi kwenzekani.” UArthur wayengumntwana wakhe amzele, kodwa uSorie, umntwana wokutholwa, noma ogciniwe.
Kuvamile emkhayeni ukuba impatho engcono inikezwe abantwana abazelwe ekhaya. Ngenxa yalokho, izinzuzo zezinto ezibonakalayo ezifiswayo kakhulu ngokuvamile azitholakali. Ngokuvamile bonke abantwana abagciniwe basetshenziswa kakhulu, bancishwa imfundo, futhi bangabokugcina ekutholeni izingubo zokugqoka kuhlanganise nokunakekelwa kwezidingo zezokwelapha nezamazinyo. Isithunywa sevangeli esiye sasebenza eAfrika iminyaka engaphezu kwama-23 sathi: “Abantwana abagciniwe cishe babhekwa njalo njengabantwana bezinga lesibili.”
Elinye iphuzu elidinga ukucatshangelwa yileli: Lapho umntwana eshiya ikhaya, kuba khona ukulimala ngokomzwelo. Izingqondo nezinhliziyo zabantwana ziyashesha ukuzwela nokuthinteka. Kusukela besebancane kuqhubeke badinga ukusekelwa nokulondeka kobuhlobo obuseduze nabazali babo. Kungaba nzima ngokwedlulele ngabantwana ukuba basuswe ekhaya labo bahambe bayohlala nabantu abangabazi ngempela.
ESierra Leone owesifazane obizwa ngokuthi uComfort wasuswa ekhaya ukuba ayohlala nomalumekazi wakhe eneminyaka eyisishiyagalolunye ubudala. Uyakhumbula: “Iminyaka engayichitha ngingekho ekhaya yayinzima kakhulu. Ngangikhumbula abasekhaya ngendlela emangalisayo—ikakhulukazi abafowethu nodadewethu. Kwakungathi bangisuse lapho kwakumelwe ngibe khona bangibeka lapho kwakungamelwe ngibe khona. Nakuba umalumekazi wami wangiphatha kahle kakhulu, ngangingakwazi ukukhuluma naye ngokukhululekile njengoba ngangingenza kumama wami ongizalayo. . . . Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi isimo sethu siba nzima kanjani, ngeke ngibathumele abantwana bami ukuba bayohlala nomunye umuntu.”
UFrancis, owaseNtshonalanga Afrika naye futhi owakhuliswa abazali bokutholwa, washo lokhu: “Ngiyadabuka ngokuthi angikwazanga ukuhlakulela ubuhlobo obuseduze nomama wami ongizalayo. Ngandlela-thile, nginomuzwa wokuthi sobabili salahlekelwa okuthile okuyigugu.”
Lezozidingo Ezingokomoya Ezibalulekile
Nokho, isici esibaluleke kunazo zonke, inhlala-kahle yomntwana engokomoya. Futhi uNkulunkulu ngokuhlakanipha kwakhe uyala ukuba abazali bazinakekelele ngokwabo izidingo ezingokomoya zabantwana babo. Ekhuluma nabazali abangamaIsrayeli, iseluleko sikaNkulunkulu sasithi: “Lawamazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla ayakuba-senhliziyweni yakho, ubafundise impela wona abantwana bakho, uwakhulume lapho uhlezi endlini yakho, nalapho uhamba endleleni, nalapho ulala, nalapho uvuka.” (Duteronomi 6:6, 7) Umphostoli uPawulu ngokufanayo wayala oyise abangamaKristu: “Ningabathukuthelisi abantwana benu, kodwa nibondle ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi.”—Efesu 6:4.
Kodwa umntwana angakhuliswa kanjani “ngokuyala nangokuqondisa kweNkosi” uma ethunyelwe ukuyohlala nezihlobo ezingakholwa? Khona-ke, yeka ukuthi kuwubulima kanjani ukudela izithakazelo ezingokomoya zomntwana ngenxa yezinto ezibonakalayo noma yezinzuzo ezingokwemfundo!
Kuthiwani ngokuthumela umntwana ukuba ayohlala nokholwa kanye nabo? Nakuba kutuseka ukubasisa kubo kunakwabangakholwa, lokhu futhi akuthandeki ngezindlela eziningi. Umntwana angase futhi adinge ukubekezelela izinguquko ezinkulu ezingokwenhlalo, ezingokomzwelo, nezingokwengqondo. Abanye abantwana baye bacindezeleka noma baba izisulu zobuhlongandlebe nezabangane ababi. Abanye baye balahlekelwa yikho konke ukwazisa ngezinto ezingokomoya.
Njengoba abazali bazi kangcono, kudinga ikhono, ukubekezela, nesikhathi esiningi ukuze ugxilise uthando ngoJehova kumntwana. Uma umsebenzi onjalo unzima kubazali abangokoqobo bomntwana, abamazi ngokuseduze kusukela lapho ezalwa, yeka ukuthi kumelwe kube nzima kangakanani ngombhangqwana ukukhulisa umntwana ongeyena owawo! Njengoba ukuphila okuphakade komntwana kungaba sengozini, abazali kumelwe bakucabangele ngokungathi sína nangomthandazo ukuthi ukusisa umntwana kothile kungenziwa yini naphezu kwezingozi ezingavela.
Nakuba kunjalo, abazali abangamaKristu kumelwe bazinqumele ukuthi bayosisebenzisa kanjani iseluleko seyoku-1 Thimothewu 5:8, esithi: “Kepha-ke uma umuntu engabondli abakubo, kakhulu abakwakhe, ukulahlile ukukholwa, mubi kunongakholwayo.” Uma bona ngokwabo behluleka ukwanelisa izidingo zezinto ezibonakalayo zomntwana, kumelwe baqiniseke ukuthi ngaphansi kwalezozimo izidingo ezingokomoya zomntwana zihlangatshezwa ngendlela engcono kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka.
Umhubi wabhala: “Abantwana bayisipho esivela kuNkulunkulu; bawumvuzo wakhe.” (IHubo 127:3, The Living Bible) Ngakho-ke, baziseni abantwana benu, futhi nibagcine beseduze nani. Bathandeni, futhi bavumeleni ukuba banithande. Basizeni, ukuba babe amadoda nabesifazane abangokomoya, ngoba ukwenza kanjalo kuyophumela esibusisweni sabo esiphakade. Mhlawumbe niyokwazi ukusho, njengoba kwasho uJohane ngabantwana bakhe abangokomoya: “Anginayo intokozo enkulu kunaleyo yokuba ngizwe ukuthi abantwana bami bahamba eqinisweni.”—3 Johane 4.